Would you rather be stuck in a tea shop or a coffee shop during a zombie apocalypse?
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I saved you from the zombies, but don’t think for a second that I did it because I like you. That’s ridiculous.
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Event: I saved you from zombies, totally not because I like you or anything, and now we’re stuck in my tea shop with a lot of feelings, smuggled tea,...
2024-12-20 00:17:01 +0000 UTC
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What’s the ultimate baked good to confess your feelings with?
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Tell me, am I your only sworn enemy, or are you secretly seeing another baker? Because I don’t like competition.
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What’s the ultimate baked good to confess your feelings with?
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Tell me, am I your only sworn enemy, or are you secretly seeing another baker? Because I don’t like competition.
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How far would you go to win a snowball fight? Would a hospital visit be too far?
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I knocked you out with a snowball, and now we’re talking about love? What is happening?
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Event: Well, let’s see… I gave you a concussion (oops), wore heels (ugh), and admitted I liked you (double oops). Definitely nailed it.
Setting: Somewhere between...
2024-12-19 02:08:01 +0000 UTC
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How far would you go to win a snowball fight? Would a hospital visit be too far?
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I knocked you out with a snowball, and now we’re talking about love? What is happening?
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Event: Well, let’s see… I gave you a concussion (oops), wore heels (ugh), and admitted I liked you (double oops). Definitely nailed it.
S...
2024-12-19 01:59:01 +0000 UTC
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If your life had a fan campaign, what would people be campaigning to bring back?
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You know, I missed more than just the show. I missed you... and all your ridiculous donut-stealing habits.
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Event: Me, my co-star, and a Christmas special that’s somehow turned into a confession scene... except the confession isn’t scripted. Apparently, se...
2024-12-19 01:48:01 +0000 UTC
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If your life had a fan campaign, what would people be campaigning to bring back?
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You know, I missed more than just the show. I missed you... and all your ridiculous donut-stealing habits.
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Event: Me, my co-star, and a Christmas special that’s somehow turned into a confession scene... except the confession isn’t scripted. Apparently, se...
2024-12-19 01:31:01 +0000 UTC
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What’s worse: being stuck in a blizzard or stuck with someone who loves Christmas too much?
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Santa’s kidnapped, and you think we can just ignore it? Oh no, we’re saving him, and then I’m getting my Christmas kiss.
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What’s worse: being stuck in a blizzard or stuck with someone who loves Christmas too much?
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Santa’s kidnapped, and you think we can just ignore it? Oh no, we’re saving him, and then I’m getting my Christmas kiss.
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Would you go on a blind date if your sibling set it up, or are you sane?
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My brother thinks he’s funny, but tonight might just be the best thing he’s ever done
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Event: My brother decided to play Cupid, and now I’m stuck confessing something I’ve been too scared to say for years.
Setting: A cosy Christmas evening, complete wi...
2024-12-19 00:52:01 +0000 UTC
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Would you go on a blind date if your sibling set it up, or are you sane?
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My brother thinks he’s funny, but tonight might just be the best thing he’s ever done
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Event: My brother decided to play Cupid, and now I’m stuck confessing something I’ve been too scared to say for years.
Setting: A cosy Christmas evening, complete wi...
2024-12-19 00:48:01 +0000 UTC
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Why do we call it “falling in love” when it feels more like being pushed off a cliff?
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Do you know what’s better than writing letters to Santa? Falling in love with someone who feels like Christmas every day.
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Why do we call it “falling in love” when it feels more like being pushed off a cliff?
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Do you know what’s better than writing letters to Santa? Falling in love with someone who feels like Christmas every day.
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Is snooping for presents a Christmas tradition, or am I just morally dubious?
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You’re sneaking around the house... but why? What could you possibly be looking for?
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Event: I catch you sneaking about like a terribly unconvincing ninja, claiming you’re “cleaning,” but we both know that’s just nonsense.
Setting: Our cosy little home du...
2024-12-19 00:23:01 +0000 UTC
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Is snooping for presents a Christmas tradition, or am I just morally dubious?
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You’re sneaking around the house... but why? What could you possibly be looking for?
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Event: I catch you sneaking about like a terribly unconvincing ninja, claiming you’re “cleaning,” but we both know that’s just nonsense.
Setting: Our cosy little home du...
2024-12-19 00:11:01 +0000 UTC
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1. Printers fear me for good reason.
2. Oreos: just evil wrapped in packaging.
3. Mild corgi fixation (it’s healthy, I swear).
4. I bleed tea, cry tea, am tea.
5. Grumpiness is my default setting.
6. Walking hazard to myself.
7. Stereotypically English; insert sigh here.
8. Cute by accident, but mostly chaos.
9. Pyro. Pyro. Pyro. No notes.
2024-12-18 14:01:33 +0000 UTC
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Why is it socially unacceptable to eat someone’s chocolate but perfectly fine for them to steal your stapler?
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Alright, let’s just say this was not my finest moment. Sure, I ate all the chocolate, but in my defence, it was a really stressful morning! And yes, I broke the printer again, but you’d miss me if I didn’t. And now I’m hiding under your desk (agai...
2024-12-16 14:34:01 +0000 UTC
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Why is it socially unacceptable to eat someone’s chocolate but perfectly fine for them to steal your stapler?
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Alright, let’s just say this was not my finest moment. Sure, I ate all the chocolate, but in my defence, it was a really stressful morning! And yes, I broke the printer again, but you’d miss me if I didn’t. And now I’m hiding under your desk (agai...
2024-12-16 01:12:01 +0000 UTC
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Dearest Santa,
Oh, so that’s how it’s going to be, is it? A kill squad? Really? I must say, I expected better from you, Claus. Well, not better exactly, but at least something less predictable. A handful of your best elves armed to the teeth, marching into my domain like I was just another clueless brat on your list. Pathetic. You’ll have found their h...
2024-12-15 02:23:01 +0000 UTC
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Also, this does not contain singing.
Not at all.
You cannot call this singing.
This is a cry for help...or caffeine .
2024-12-14 03:25:14 +0000 UTC
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Dearest Santa,
Well, well, well, if it isn't the festive fraud himself. Creeping about in the dead of night, breaking into homes, bribing children with cheap tat to cover your undoubtedly sordid tracks. Do they even know what’s on your list? I imagine it’s the kind of thing that would land you a one-way trip to a windowless van, if you catch my drift.
Now, let’s ...
2024-12-14 02:20:40 +0000 UTC
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Three years of pining, one late-night walk, and a mountain of sarcasm to hide my nerves. Honestly, it’s a miracle I didn’t trip over my own words—and yet, here we are. Turns out, love confessions are messy, but at least now I’m your mess.
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Oh, you’re still playing the “good guy,” are you? Adorable. Let me know how that works out while you’re holding my hand and leaning closer under these Christmas lights.
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Why does every love confession feel like being wrapped in tinsel? Unnecessarily sparkly and a little suffocating.
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You’re the reason I hate Christmas, you know that? And now you’re the reason I don’t.
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Welcome back to the Bon Bon, darling. Let’s see if your knack for trouble still matches my tolerance for your nonsense—or if this time, you’ll finally pay the tab in blood.
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Would you kindly ignore the singing at the start of the audio?
Welcome to Rapture, darling. It’s a city full of freedom—at the cost of your soul, of course. Don’t worry, I’ll be your guide... for a price, naturally.
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Event: I found you, wandering the Bon Bon like a lost lamb. Honestly, I didn’t think you’d make it this long in Rapture, but here you are. ...
2024-12-10 21:02:09 +0000 UTC
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Why does love always feel like a DIY project with missing instructions?
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There’s something special about our first Christmas together, even if I’m making a complete mess of it.
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Do you think clumsiness is endearing, or does it make you want to carry an emergency first aid kit?
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Turns out, saying ‘I can skate’ and actually being able to skate are wildly different things. But hey, what’s a little blood and humiliation compared to awkwardly confessing my feelings in front of a fireplace? Don’t worry—I’m not that romantic... or am I?”
<...
2024-12-10 19:31:01 +0000 UTC
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Why does love always feel like a DIY project with missing instructions?
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There’s something special about our first Christmas together, even if I’m making a complete mess of it.
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Do you think clumsiness is endearing, or does it make you want to carry an emergency first aid kit?
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Turns out, saying ‘I can skate’ and actually being able to skate are wildly different things. But hey, what’s a little blood and humiliation compared to awkwardly confessing my feelings in front of a fireplace? Don’t worry—I’m not that romantic... or am I?”
<...
2024-12-10 19:23:01 +0000 UTC
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