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BarCalak

BarCalak

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Chapter 9.5: Numero Uno

Chapter 9.5: Numero Uno

LA, California. January 2003.

“Dōzo yoroshiku onegai itashimasu.” Those were the first words out of my mouth as I shook the hand of the person in front of me and gave them a polite bow. He was Japanese, and I, who stumbled through that sentence with what was probably horrible elocution, am obviously not. But I g...

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Chapter 9: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome

Chapter 9: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome

Heathrow Airport, London. September 2002.

I enjoy showing off as much as the next guy, probably even more so if I was completely honest with myself. But even I could tell when something left the realm of good taste and became wholly unnecessary.

Point of fact, my current predicament.

Today was the last o...

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Chapter 8.5: Upbeat

Chapter 8.5: Upbeat

London, UK. July 2002

Forget Harry Potter, I should’ve been the new James Bond.

Call me super spy in disguise. I wore a cap and a face mask. Even my sense of style was twenty years ahead of the curve.

No shades, though. I wasn’t that much of a douche just yet.

There was a banner for the upcoming release of ...

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February 2024 Release Update (1)

Hello to all new and current members!

Just a quick update on the schedule for this week's releases for paid members.


Thursday February 8th 2024
I'm on TV! Chapters 8.5, 9, and 9.5

Friday February 9th
Witch Weekly 7th edition.

I am also currently working on character profiles for all the OCs in IOTV and will be releasing that soon as well.

Thanks f...

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Character Profile Poll

Recently I've received request from readers to create and include pictures of the OC's in IoTV!  I thought it'd be a good idea to turn them into a full profile with complementary images. 

The only issue is I cant draw worth a damn. My only recourse is to potentially use AI image gen to accomplish this.

So I leave the decision to you lovely people. Should I use AI art ...

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I'm on TV! Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Stand-ins & Stunts.

Leavesden Studio, UK. April 2002

Chris blew his whistle in short, sharp bursts to organize the throng of children occupying the set. It reminded one of being in PE class.

I hopped slightly on my toes, testing the crash mat beneath my feet. I felt the wires attached to the harness under my costume tug uncomfor...

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I'm on TV! Chapter 7.5

Chapter 7.5: Rapid Fire.

Leavesden Studio, UK. January 2002.

[The three actors playing the Dursleys sat around the dining table eating their food. Fiona Shaw, who played Petunia, fussed over Harry Melling as Dudley, who was eagerly scarfing down the food that had long since gone cold. I was in the kitchen area of the set, pretending to fry some ...

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Witch Weekly 6th Edition: Veela Dilemma Part 3

Veela Dilemma Part 3

Featuring: Harry Potter, Ginny Weasley, Gabrielle Delacour

Tags: Public, Swimsuit, Voyeur

The beach would be safe, wouldn’t it?

The entire household was all dressed and ready to hit the sand, sun, and salt today. The kids especially were on the edge of wetting themselves in excitem...

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Witch Weekly 5th Edition: Dust Snorkack

Dust Snorkack

Featuring: Harry Potter, Luna Lovegood

Tags: Maid, Shower, Hand job

I apparated into Grimmauld place and found it suspiciously clean. My wand was out immediately.

I’d sent Kreacher off to live with Andromeda so that he could help care for Teddy, so the onus of Grimmauld’s housekeeping fell solely on my shoulders.

...

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January 31st Update Notice

Hello all members!


I've updated I'm on TV! with chapters 6, 6.5, and 7 as promised.


EDIT:

Witch Weekly 5th and 6th edition a well as the 2 BONUS chapters of IoTV! chapters 7.5 and 8 are are live!


I hope you all enjoy reading the latest additions!


Much love

Bar Calak

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I'm on TV! Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Unscripted


WB London Branch, UK. November 2001


As she strode into the meeting room with Columbus, Kloves, and Heyman, Jo Rowling felt like, for once, she was the one in the lead.


It was time to finalise the screenplay.


She’d been in these meetings a hundred times before and usually...

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I'm on TV! Chapter 6.5

Chapter 6.5: Snakes & Ladders (of the corporate variety)


Beverly Hills, 90210. May 2001.


Ostentatious, it wasn’t a word used a lot these days by people who themselves weren’t pretentious. It basically meant all glamour and no class. It was the most appropriate word I had in my vocabulary to describe the building and int...

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I'm on TV! Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Newboy


London, UK. March 2001.


Shooting wrapped towards the end of Feb, 2001. Almost immediately after the wrap party, there was a single press conference scheduled for the three of us - Emma, Rupert, and I - to attend.


It was surreal. A massive hotel banquet hall was packed to the brim with cameras ...

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Update Schedule for Members Jan 2024 (2)

My utmost thanks and welcome to all members!

As part of my ongoing effort to make my patreon subscription worth your while I am providing an updated schedule for this week's releases.


On Wednesday, January 31st 2024 I will upload the following :

I'm on TV! - Chapters 6, 6.5, and 7

Witch Weekly - 5th edition, 6th edition

These will remain exclusive to you...

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Paid Content Update Notice

To all my paid members,

As promised, here are the advanced chapters:

I'm on TV - chapter 4,  chapter 5, chapter 5.5

Witch Weekly - 3rd edition, 4th edition

Now officially available to you!


Let me know your impressions!

Bar Calak

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Witch Weekly 4th Edition: Veela Dilemma Part 2

Witch Weekly 4th Edition: Veela Dilemma Part 2

Featuring: Harry Potter, Gabrielle Delacour

Tags: Hidden sex, Yandere, Anal

It was my second day on vacation with the Weasleys in France, and breakfast was in full swing. Coincidentally, my penis was also in full schwing.

When the meal had begun, I’d done my best to hide myself between And...

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Witch Weekly 3rd Edition: Hogwarts Sexpress

Hogwarts Sexpress

Featuring: Harry Potter, Bathsheda Babbling

Tags: Hidden Sex, MILF, Teacher

Eighth year was going to be interesting. As I glanced outside my compartment’s window, it felt eerily reminiscent of first year. I sat alone in my compartment, watching as stragglers ran onto the train when the whistle blew.

I spotted the auro...

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I'm on TV! Chapter 5.5

Chapter 5.5 Sticks & Stones

Alnwick Castle, UK. December 2000.

My shooting schedule was brutal.

In between the interior school scenes filmed at Durham Cathedral - such as the transfiguration classes - I was also shuttled back and forth to Leavesden studio, where the Privet drive scenes were being filmed in tandem.

We even got to incl...

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I'm on TV! Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Polaroid Express

You never know how much or how little you have until you put your life into boxes.

A week’s worth of clothes, a well-worn pair of trainers, a folder full of documents, a camera, and a toothbrush. My entire existence fit into a single, medium-sized duffle bag with enough extra room for a tiffin and thermos.

Even my scrawny arms cou...

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I'm on TV! Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Brass Tacks & Income Tax

The sixth day had passed, but day six had yet to arrive. Mrs Stephens anxiously busied herself around our squeaky clean suite while I moped on the couch.

“Ooh…” she sat beside me and clasped my hands between hers. “Don’t let this get you down, dear. You gave it your best, didn’t you?”

“... It’s still di...

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Update Schedule for Members Jan 2024

My sincerest thanks and welcome to my first few members! 

In order to ensure none of you suffer from buyer's remorse and get your money's worth I'm outlining my update schedule for upcoming advanced chapters.


On January 24th 2024 (GMT +7) I will release the following:

I'm on TV - chapter 4,  chapter 5, chapter 5.5

Witch Weekly - 3rd edition, 4th edit...

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Witch Weekly 2nd Edition : Veela Dilemma Part 1

Witch Weekly No.2 Veela Dilemma Part 1

Featuring: Harry Potter, Gabrielle Delacour

Tags: Hidden Sex, Yandere, Oral

“Good morning, Harry!” normally having that shouted in your ear by a five-year-old child while the vigorously shook your shoulders a little too early in the morning isn’t a pleasant way to wake up.

But Harry Potter was...

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Witch Weekly 1st Edition : S.P.U.M. (Society for the Pleasure of Unappreciated Muggleborns)

S.P.U.M. (Society for the Pleasure of Unappreciated Muggleborns)

Featuring: Harry Potter, Hermione Granger

Tags: DomSub, Office, Friends to Lovers

Despite it being merely her first year at the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, Hermione found the ministry arm as difficult to wrangle as the XXXXX beasts the...

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Official Release of Witch Weekly!

A collection of smut focused oneshots and multi chapter minisiries set in the Harry Potter Universe. Featuring new witches and original premises every week - all revolving around Post-Hogwarts, 8th year, and AU's.

2 chapters every week! Advanced chapter according to tiers.

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I'm on TV! Chapter 3

Chapter 3: JK ain’t Kidding Around

I found myself once again in a nondescript room in an office building for my third round audition. At least, this time the lights were shining everywhere rather than directly on to my face.

It was nice being able to see who I was performing for, for once.

And what a cast it was. Chris Columbus the director, Steve Kloves the...

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I'm on TV! Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Will you Marriot me?

“Oh, this is so terribly exciting! I can’t believe we’re in LA. Have your ears popped yet, dear? Mine seem to be rather stubbornly fuzzy.” Mrs Stephens - who had generously chaperoned me across the pond asked me. I dug into my pocket and found a Werther’s original butterscotch sweet and handed it to her.

“Suck on this for ...

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I'm on TV! Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Warn A Brother

Cardiff, Wales. January 2000.

Transmigrating twenty-two years in the past into the body of a seven-year-old may seem like a massive inconvenience, but to the ill-prepared mind, re-life was the next great adventure. The mechanics of my arrival in the time-stream would remain a mystery till my dying day.

My last memory ...

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Official Release of I'm on TV!

A casual transmigration career building slice-of-life fic. With access to modern internet watch how the MC exploits foreknowledge to turn himself into an entertainment mogul over the course of decades. This is wish fulfilment without any shame. The story of Harry Potter, as told through the lens of the movies, and the changes within.


3 chapters every week! Advanced chapters acc...

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Thanks for your support!

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