I’m starting out the music posts with an obvious one but it felt fitting.
I realized recently that I think of Jagged Little Pill as a year, with each of the 12 tracks representing and associated with a month. I don’t know why, but in my head I see a year visually, cascading not just down but down diagonally and three dimensionally, almost like stairs, with each month having a differ...
I miss you extra today
And maybe it’s because I’m not supposed to
Maybe it’s because I can’t get you out of my system
Maybe it’s because I don’t want to
I feel like crying today
And maybe it’s because you’re further out of reach
Maybe it’s because I feel like no one understands
The language I speak I don’t kn...
morning all :) would you guys be into me posting music here? I’ll routinely have a song I’m really into or one that pops up from my past that I have on repeat or maybe just something I’m vibing to etc, let me know if you’d be interested in that.
thank you as always for being here <3
2024-04-17 14:04:41 +0000 UTC View PostMy neighbor across the courtyard
Just recently moved in
Neither of us have curtains
And I think we watch each other
In a non-weird way
He started with a box of nothing
No furniture
Nothing on the walls
Nothing in the windowsill
Just like me
But now he has his office set up
A plant hanging in the window
...
Like a moth to a flame
Why am I drawn to pain
I would love to sit here and say that I hate it
But perversely I think I may live to create it
And maybe that’s why you like me so much
You see in me that same familiar clutch
At a life so fully lived it just may destroy you
At the violent truth
At the chance to feel brand new
...
I told him:
“It seems like you are looking for someone,
But I want someone who is looking for me.”
He said he didn’t know how to respond to that
That told me a lot
I couldn’t blame him
It’s a nuanced thing to say
Most people might not know what I mean by it
But to me it’s as clear as glass
As straightforward as looking in the mi...
When people say they have ‘trust issues’
My mind jumps to tales of juvenile games
And textbook stories of deceit
‘They didn’t deserve for their belief in others to be degraded like that,’ I think to myself
As if I am separate from them
But when I look in the mirror
I see someone with ‘trust issues’ too
Because how could I believe
That someone may wa...
I used to cry to you
In bed wrapped around you
You would ask: “What’s wrong?”
I told you that one day
We would be separated
By death
And that one lifetime wasn’t enough
That I would never have enough time with you
But I am still alive
And you are still alive
And death wasn’t what separated us
“Everything happens for a reason”
These words have become empty
Regurgitated and lifeless and hollow
They hang in the air
As a trite and tired consolation prize
Their repetition has wearied me
Yet without them I can’t seem to rest
And when I actually stop to consider
Why I once believed them in the first place
Why I wa...
I am eating my soft boiled eggs. I am meticulously peeling the white part off of my orange slices and I am enjoying it more than I feel I should be considering the grandest moments are said to be at the top of a mountain or at the bottom of your bucket list or on some life changing quest. Why then does grandeur peek its head through the smallest moments no one will ever witness or capture or wr...
2024-04-02 13:57:12 +0000 UTC View PostSometimes late at night
When I should be sleeping
I search our texts for ‘I love you’
To see all the times you said it to me
It feels like all I have left of us now
I’m always surprised to see that to most of them
I didn’t say it back
I was scared
You understood
You held the space for me
To be protective of ...
A cute guy messaged me on instagram
I had never interacted with him before
The url equivalent of being approached at a bar
He’s an artist
Makes music
Seems cool and fun
I messaged back
Because that’s what I’m supposed to do now
Be "open to the possibilities"
Within a few back and forths
He said he wanted to get to know me
shot on 35mm film high resolution .jpg not for commercial use
2024-03-28 03:09:14 +0000 UTC View PostNeon interrupts a black sky
Glowing world awaiting exploration
Steel gates that seem more like a suggestion
Pulled into the gravity of twisted liberation
“Two tickets please,” your voice steady and sure
Heavy against distant screams and laughter
Your eyes hold weight I’ve never been through
And I’ve never known you but I’ve had...
I saw a man today on the subway
Standing in a perfectly turned out first position
I can always spot dancers on the street
The way they walk
The way their bun is twisted and pinned
The way they move throughout the world
I can see myself in them
Sometimes it’s my biggest regret
Cracking under the pressure
Feeling like my bod...
The first time we slept together
You didn’t reach out to me after
You didn’t text
You didn’t call
I didn’t understand
I felt such a strong connection that night
I saw you the next weekend at the bar
You were carrying glasses to the back when I came in
You looked so happy to see me
It confused me
I had spent the week upset&...
You said you want to die in slow motion
I said
You’re in luck
You already are
You look at me like you’ve never seen love before
I think
You’ve just been hiding from it
You’ve just been seeking in the wrong corners
You tell me things you’ve never said out loud before
I hear
You haven’t had anyone to say the...
When I cry my nose gets really red
My eyes and lips get swollen
The fine line between my eyebrows
Becomes more pronounced
From scrunching my face up
I over explain everything
I can’t bear being misunderstood
Even though it’s inescapable
I bite my nails
It’s a nasty habit
I just don’t care
I’m self...
