Comic 4.12 - "Coach III" Preview

The dialogue breaks my heart, which means you've done a great job. Bitty is so broken. I'm a mom of adult sons, and to hear Bitty pleading "just tell me you don't think I'm messed up" begging for parental approval when this conversation could have gone at least 50 other ways, kills me. Followed by Coach's reaction "I'll take you back to the Haus," well, I'm heartbroken. I agree with the comments about the cool way the speech bubbles mimic two people talking over each other. But the one thing that got me, which I don't think has been commented on, was the way you drew Bitty's face at the very top, in the second panel, with the shadow over the top portion of his face and neck, like a mask. Anyway, all I can say is this update is going to really ring true with your readers, with fan fics to follow!

every last one of my feels has been stabbed at least twice. Also it really stood out to me that there's... basically a line between them in the one small panel, between whatever is dangling off the mirror and the tall bag of groceries.

Initial thoughts: UGH MY HEART. Additional thoughts: I love how in the second row of the yellow panel, as they get more heated, their speech bubbles cover the other person's faces as they talk over each other. 2AM thoughts: COACH SAID HAUS.

I am not okay with this comic ending. I. AM. NOT. OKAY.

Oh gosh, poor Bitty. I never want to be trapped in a situation like this; I'd probably have a panic attack. Hope the two of them work it out in the next part of the comic. (But it's also good in a way that they're finally having this conversation at some level, even though it isn't the most ideal way of doing so).

Raylen

man we've had the full spectrum of comings-out reactions in our family and this hit a nail on the head for sure.

Jenrose

Love the dialogue (all the feels) and I like the use of yellow in the background of the car convo it kind of ups the emotion. Almost highlights the level of tension. Which makes me think that the last scene might be better with a more muted color background to go with Bitty's sadness?

Adriana

Due to personal reason, I will be drowning in my own tears.

Oops, didn't quite mean to post yet. Just want to reiterate how brilliant this chapter is. I've reread it multiple times already and I cry more each time. And I don't believe that Bitty has ever actually voiced his concern with coming out to his parents to anybody? Or at least he has never confessed before that his main fear was that his dad thinks he's "messed up." Breaks my damn heart. This is a really tough moment and subject matter and I think you handled it perfectly. I'm on Bitty's side, but I can still tell Coach is trying, but Bitty hasn't been communicating what he needs. Scene-wise, it reminds me a bit of the song "Telephone Wire" from the musical Fun Home. Okay, I've really said enough! Sorry for all my fragmented thoughts, but you have given me a lot to think about!!

*incoherent screeching*

I hope you don't mind me expressing my feelings via bullet points because this chapter is wonderful and A LOT to process. SO: -Bitty's permanent exhausted frown in the first few panels is a Whole Gay Mood TM -I loved being able to see one of Bitty's coaches talking about him as a player! -The way you made dialogue work throughout the Bitty-Coach confrontation is really effective. It's clear that Bitty has been having different versions of this argument in his head for probably years. Coach has also probably had a lot of thoughts about how this would go. And because they've both avoided talking to each other for so long they think they already know each others argument, so neither of them are listening and they keep talking over each other. I love what you did with the six small panels on the yellow background (also, concurring with everyone else, the yellow is GREAT and very effective), where the speech bubbles start to progressively overlap and eventually start covering up each others faces. Like at one point it's Coach's dialogue directly over Bitty's mouth. Like. Wow. Great way to give momentum to an argument that's occurring in such a claustrophobic space!

Love the design of these panels, especially the intimate conversation in the contained car.

Marina M

My heart hurts. 🥺

This is beautifully done, so easy to feel for Bitty AND Coach. You’ve done such a good job of making them both relatable and real in this conversation. So good!

Hot damn this is a MOOD. the only person I trust with this kind of scene is now ngozi, these gray areas of acceptance and inability to communicate properly are Such a Theme for coming out for so many of us and I'm so glad to be reading this. I feel for u bitty you're doing great sweetie

I hope they make up. I like how it isn't so easily one-sided that it's all one person's fault, they have both have had bad communication on each others ends.

Now I'm crying! I look forward to seeing how this continues to play out

Meisterj

Omg, it hurts so much. I love it, everything comes together so well to show how it’s digging into Bitty. And then the yellow panel with ‘I don’t know what to do with you’ the speech bubble looks like it’s literally weighing Bitty down, something he’s heard a million times and pressing down on him. Little comments like that build so much, and usually whoever is saying them doesn’t realize it. It’s good for Bitty to let it out and stand up for himself, because that pressure isn’t doing anything but hurting him.

Ohhhh my gosh, geez, break my heart why don’t you? Poor Bitty has finally lost control, and honestly I’m proud of him for it! In this case losing control=standing up for himself, and this boy has been avoiding that for too long! Artistically, yes, ditto what everyone else said about how striking that yellow is, especially given the context of the soft yellow backgrounds, but also! I LOVE how small that one silent panel after Bitty’s plea is. The white surrounding it is almost oppressive, crowding in around the panel and forcing them into confrontation, echoing the silence in the panel and their relationship. But I also read it as representative of how small Bitty and probably also Coach feels right now. It’s a brilliant choice. ❤️

my heart shattered reading this!!!! he is not messed up and i'm booking family therapy for the bittles IMMEDIATELY

This was amazing and gut wrenching and so powerful. I've had a soft spot for Coach, I think because I'm closer in age to Jim than Jack & Bitty. Trying to process finding out your son is gay through national TV must have been so hard. At the same time all I wanted him to do was hug Bitty and tell him how much he was loved. Thank you for the reminder to tell my kids I love them and they make me proud every chance I get.

Melissa Robertson

That yellow is STRIKING and super effective. Also love Coach's expression in the panel after Bitty says "Daddy how am I supposed to know what you think?" *narrator voice* It was in that moment he realized he fucked up.

Sami Postma

Noted!! Fixed!!

Ngozi

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BABY BOY

sooooo many emotions! get it together, coach, just start saying the word 'boyfriend'!

Michele C (BookGeekGrrl)

Omg the FACES in this one!! I love it. Also there's something that sounds a little weird to me in Coach's dialogue, panel 3 (??) where he says "really been's -" just kind of a strange contraction? Idk! But this comic is great and so are you and I'm so excited for the next update!! ❤️

Hooooly moly this one hit me right in the feels. I was waiting to see whether Bitty was gonna snap outwardly or inwardly and I'm so glad it was outwardly cause lord knows there's only so many emotional pies a boy can bake. That "you want me to treat it like it's normal" line, oh my god. The way Coach thinks his options are "ignore it" vs "march in a parade" is so telling of the deeply rooted homophobia where he genuinely believes that pretending it doesn't exist is the pinnacle of reasonable acceptance. The fact that you're not trying to beat the gay out of your son doesn't mean you should expect him to infer that you love and support him. Those background colour choices too, hoo boy there was some good thematic stuff going on in this update.

Cas Wanden

Ngozi, this is one of your strongest chapters. It's going to make quite a few people think about how much their parents' approval means to them. This chapter is so wonderful and heartfelt. I'm glad Bitty was able to have this conversation with his father. They clearly need to discuss their feelings more, but this is a good start. Creating emotional scenes like these can be draining. So, in case you need a boost...Your work's 'swawesome! I'm looking forward to what you do next. ^_^

Octavia Atlas

Yes! A soft peachy happy yellow versus a stark neony yellow. And yes, Coach COME ON.

Ngozi

me, grabbing Coach by the shoulders: TELL YOUR SON HE'S GOOD AND THAT YOU LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!! Coach: you want me to wear a rainbow hat??? Thank you, Megan!

Ngozi

Thanks! That means a lot. I didn't want to paint Coach as some bigot, just a parent who's trying (and failing.) And Bitty is angry, yes, but underneath that anger is a lot of confusion and pain.

Ngozi

Yeah, it's definitely a freaky neon-y yellow? Like Uma Thurman's jumpsuit in Kill Bill....Just I wanted to show how Bitty done snapped!

Ngozi

It was both a relief and painful to write this scene. Because FINALLY.

Ngozi

And it's here, alas.

Ngozi

Thank you!

Ngozi

Sorry about the work tears! ;-;!

Ngozi

Finally!!!

Ngozi

I'm not sure I've written Bitty interrupting ANYONE, let alone Coach, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Momma Tango gave her sun a bird mouth and we are all thankful XD

Ngozi

😞💕

Ngozi

Trapped in the car!! How many parent-child confrontations happen there. Bitty is ready to run head first into his problems! For now at least!

Ngozi

Oh my gosh!! Thank you for such an observant comment!! It is CRAZY what a line can do, especially when it's around a character's eyes. (Like even the lines under bitty's eyes in the first page lol) And yes!! Bitty is definitely an adult at this point...but he's a kid. Even as he's yelling at Coach he's thrown diplomacy out the window and is just fully obstinate like a teen. I'm glad the art could convey a bit of this!

Ngozi

So many cracks...Bitty can't hold it in. :^/

Ngozi

<3 Thank you for sharing. It like....core-shattering when you don't know if your parents think you're essentially good. :( Ugh!!

Ngozi

"You want me to treat it like it's NORMAL then?" - OUCH. That one hurt. :( I am so proud of Bitty for standing up for himself and Jack. And I totally understand wanting your parents' approval, even when you know you don't need it to live your life. Poor Bits. He needs a Jack Zimmermann hug, right now! <3

I'm so proud of Bitty! Come on Coach, be a supportive dad. 😭😭😭

Bree

This made me cry, it hits SO deep when your parents are... fine... with "it" but wont say what you desperately need them to say. This is amazing and so powerful, thank you for making it.

emylisis

I also love how many ways "you know that" could sound, depending on the emphasis, and "you /know/ that" feels like it underlines everything about how they don't talk about this stuff so actually he doesn't know how his dad feels??

Maybe I shouldn't have read this on the tube home because I'm nearly crying now. I'm very emotional, and the perspectives of each frame really made everything build/hit home in exactly the right way!

Oh, my heart! Bitty standing up for himself, yet finally we see the cracks and a life time's worth of longing for his dad's acceptance. Oof.

NGOZI wowowowow! This was amazing, truly. I'm upset for Bitty, but I'm so proud that he stood up for himself and finally told his father what was on his mind. Something that really stuck out to me was Bitty's eyes in the first yellow panel and the "stop pretending he's not my boyfriend" panel- the white on the bottom rim of his eyes instead of black really changes his whole face and it works so well for the scene. In the "stop pretending" panel it even makes him look younger, more like a child which is probably a lot like how coach makes him feel sometimes, like in moments like that. I can't find a word that fits better than AMAZING. Thank you for sharing this with us early! <3

I think there's an extra "that" but I stumbled there too.

Discussing his feelings in a confined space where he can't slink off and bake an avoidance pie! So proud of you Bitty. Ditto on that sharp yellow - it really makes a difference in the mood.

Julie

Ooof! Right in the heart valves.

SO GOOD 😩 I especially love how Bitty cut him off when (I’m assuming) he was about to invite Jack down for Christmas?? OH MAN these two need to talk! (also I know this is really an emotional turning point in the comic but I kinda hyperfixated on Momma Tango in the first picture n just waaa cute! 😂)

WOWEE this one sure is emotional!! 🙃 I love it!!! (also towards one of the last panels i think the wording is off some? During the “that don’t make you messed up” bit)

THIS IS A LOT TO PROCESS but I love that the yellow that's always been a happy gay halo for Bitty and Jack makes its appearance in this very different setting (and with a different color tone!) It's such a good narrative detail but ALSO I'M YELLING COACH COME ON

The yellow WORKS and this is gorgeous. I love the halting, uncertain dialog and the fact that, even in the middle of this confrontation, Coach still can't quite say it. I love the honesty of the shifting goalposts ("call jack my boyfriend" "you want me to march in a parade about it?" is... yeah. Accurate) Just. Great. Thank you, always thank you.

Oh, Bitty! SO emotional right now. Glad to see them talking, totally agree with the use of that shade of yellow. Reading it from both perspectives - you're showing both of them in a very real way. Well done. <3

Cathy Berner

I love the use of yellow here. It isn't the soft happy yellow we've seen before. It really shows where Bitty's head is at and how he just SNAPPED after one too many "your friend Jack" hopefully he and Coach can move forward and really talk about their feelings.

Gah my heart!! so good to see them finally talking!!

yay i have waited so long

Love it!!!!

getting v emotional at work, thanks!

aceremus

Bitty!!!!! Standing up!!!!! For himself!!!!

SORRY, I want to be a teacher someday so forgive me and my discussion questions/thoughts BUT: I definitely think this happens at THIS time in Bitty's story for a reason.....Coach and Bitty are 100% the same person in many ways.....I would argue that this is the emotional climax of Check, Please....COACH AND BITTY LEARN AND CHANGE....I loved getting a little wacky with the colors this time around, particularly using yellow to make things uncomfortable/loud/dangerous? THANK YOU FOR READING

Ngozi