Hoekage Chapter 1

In an alternate universe Jiraiya manned up and chose to raise his godson, challenges be damned. He teaches Naruto everything that he knows, from information gathering, to ninjutsu, to women. When he returns home after his 18th birthday, Naruto is ready to take the leaf by storm. He'll be the best Hoekage ever!

No, he didn't misspeak. Hoekage, because what good is being the village's most powerful ninja without a plethora of beautiful Kunoichi at your side?

Hiruzen Sarutobi sat in the Fourth Hokage’s office staring at the desk, listening to a baby cry.

Except it wasn’t the Fourth Hokage’s office anymore. It was his, again, something he never wanted to hear even in his head. He reached out, holding the baby and lifting him, attempting to quiet the child's tantrum. It was difficult, because he felt like crying himself.

Minato had been everything he wanted in a successor. Hiruzen really, truly believed he had done enough for the village, and that he could pass it into the safe hands of the next generation.

Then, so quickly, Minato was gone. Kushina with him. All that was left was the child Hiruzen was holding.

“How have I let this happen?” he mumbled. But no one answered, for there was no one else in the room who could speak. He looked down at the baby. “What on Earth are we going to do with you now?”

“I’ll take him.”

Hiruzen looked up sharply. That the person had appeared in the room, not using the door, without allowing even him the time to notice, meant they could only be one person. But that made him even more shocked.

“Jiraiya?” he asked. “Are you being serious?”

Sure enough, a giant man with long spiky hair had appeared through the window, which was now open. He stood in front of the desk, his head turned toward the floor, sneaking glances at the baby.

“I’m his godfather,” Jiraiya said. “Right now, I’m all he has left. If someone needs to step up…”

“Can you handle such a thing?” Hiruzen asked seriously.

“I have to… right?”

Hiruzen studied his student, searching his face for hesitancy or any sign that he would give up on this, and run away instead, as his students seemed to do so often.

But he found nothing but steely determination on Jiraiya’s face. And so, slowly, he held Naruto out, allowing his godfather to hold him.

Jiraiya’s arms shook as he lifted him. But when he looked at the kid…

He smiled.

O-O-O

“Shit. Shit. Shit. I can’t do this,” Jiraiya said, hopping quickly from one foot to the other. As he did, he cradled his arms back and forth, attempting to quiet the crying baby, who was now a few months old. Empty bottles of milk were scattered behind them on the floor of their room at an inn in Southern Fire Country. Jiraiya patted Naruto’s back, doing his best to help the baby settle down.

“I’m not cut out for this,” Jiraiya moaned. “What was I thinking? This is even harder than writing!”

But despite his cursing and whining, his arms never stopped, and he never gave up. He kept on cradling Naruto, even when the door to their room was shoved open, despite it being only the two of them who were supposed to be staying there.

People stood in the doorway. One was a little girl with dark hair, hiding behind the other’s legs. There was plenty to hide behind. The second person was a woman who looked far younger than what her true age was, with huge plump thighs, blond hair, and the most enormous bust you could find in any of the five countries.

“Huh,” said the blond woman. “Hiruzen wasn’t lying, for once.”

Jiraiya only spared her a brief glance. “If you came all this way to make fun of me, Tsunade, can you save it? He’ll never fall asleep if you start yelling.”

“What do you take me for?” Tsunade grumbled. “And he’ll never fall asleep anyway, if you keep doing it like that. Shizune. Help him.”

The little girl seemed nervous about Jiraiya, which was understandable. He was one of the most famous shinobi in the world, and the fact that he was three times her height had to make him pretty intimidating. But she still darted out, holding out her hands.

“You want to hold him?” Jiraiya asked. “I don’t know…”

“Don’t be a mother hen,” Tsunade commanded. “Shizune knows what she’s doing. Better than you, anyway.”

Shizune wiggled her fingers. Jiraiya lowered little Naruto into her arms.

She began cradling him like Jiraiya had, but something about the movement was much smoother. Naruto’s cries actually began to quiet. Jiraiya watched, enraptured, trying to drink in every little detail of what she was doing. He actually went as far as to yank out the notebook he went everywhere with; but instead of noting down the sizes of gorgeous women he ‘studied,’ its pages were now filled with details on babies and the best ways to care for them…

And sizes, of course. He was still Jiraiya, adoptive father or not.

Shizune was smiling. She carried Naruto to the bed, laying him down and checking he was comfortable, continuing to fuss over him. Tsunade grabbed Jiraiya’s wrist and started to pull him from the room.

“Come on,” she said, actually whispering in a surprising show of care for those around her. “Shizune loves kids. She can handle it from here.”

Jiraiya let himself be pulled, trying to remember the last time Tsunade touched him first. 

She dragged him out into the hallway before letting go. But she led him deeper, to the door of another room at the inn. 

“Shizune and I are staying here,” she said, stopping in front of the door and looking back at him. “We haven’t decided how long we’ll be staying. Could be one night. Could be a week. Could be longer.”

“You’re such a free spirit,” Jiraiya said.

He wasn’t able to keep all of his bitterness out of his voice. Tsunade looked sharply at him, before sighing.

“I’d say you have no right to criticize me for that, but… Are you really serious about this?”

“About Naruto?” Jiraiya asked. “Absolutely. I mean, it’s not really my speed, but… The kid needs SOMEONE to be serious about him, and I can’t see any other options.”

“What about your information network?” Tsunade said challengingly.

“I’ll manage both,” Jiraiya said.

“And your books?”

“I’ll write those, too…” He caught Tsunade’s scowl, and quickly added, “I might take a little break, though. And I’ll keep the kid separate from my work when I start up again.”

Tsunade’s severe expression melted.

“I believe you,” she said.

“Oh, wow. I’m honored.”

Tsunade rolled her eyes. She opened the door to her room, stepping through. Jiraiya waited for her to say goodnight and shut the door. But it stayed open, and she continued standing there.

“Aren’t you coming in?” she asked.

“Am I?” Jiraiya asked, unable to resist pointing a finger at his own face.

“You better be,” Tsunade said.

And she walked into the room, her hips swaying, leaving the door open. His heart hammering uncharacteristically, Jiraiya followed her, shutting the door behind himself.

O-O-O

THUD!

The wall behind Jiraiya shook as he was pushed against it. He thought it might’ve cracked, but he had bigger things to worry about, like Tsunade’s tongue being shoved down his throat. 

This was the kind of position he’d dreamed of being in for decades. Her tongue rooted around his mouth, exploring with abandon, while her hands were planted beside his body. Most noticeably, her huge breasts were touching him, pushing against his chest. Jiraiya was so stunned that he just stood there, almost paralyzed.

Tsunade broke the kiss, smirking. “Am I too much for you?”

The taunt helped snap Jiraiya out of his shock. He was THE Jiraiya. Freezing up like a virgin wasn’t his style, even when it was the woman he’d chased since adolescence making the first move. He grabbed her.

Tsunade’s moan sounded exactly like he always dreamed it would. One of his huge, strong hands grabbed her ass and sank in… but not half as much as his other hand sunk into her breasts. He squeezed her through her soft clothes, kissing her again, this time with his own tongue leading.

He used every trick he’d learned over his long life, kneading Tsunade’s flesh in precise ways. He pinched her nipple between two fingers, finding it shockingly stiff, and relished the way Tsunade squirmed against him.

When he broke this kiss, Tsunade had stiffened.

“Sorry,” Jiraiya said with a smirk. “Was that too much for you?”

Tsunade glared, but the effect was ruined by the flush on her cheeks. She dropped to her knees.

The move was too sudden for Jiraiya to react, just like the way she yanked his pants down, allowing his cock to escape. Jiraiya gasped at the sudden motion, then gaped as Tsunade grabbed the hem of her shirt, lifting it off over her head. 

There was no bra underneath, explaining the sensations Jiraiya felt as he groped her. Her enormous, pink areolas were right there, making Jiraiya’s brain short circuit somewhat.

It wasn’t that he’d never seen great breasts before. It was just that these weren’t great… they were the BEST, and he’d spent almost his whole life dreaming about the girl they were attached to.

His cock was completely hard now, and Tsunade spent a moment staring at it, her eyes tracing the length. Jiraiya’s penis didn’t look small at all on his hulking frame, which said all that needed to be said about its size.

Without further warning, Tsunade pushed up her breasts and wrapped them around his cock, utterly engulfing it. She jerked her breasts up and down, rubbing him in the puffiest and most divine embrace he could imagine.

Jiraiya’s hands were plastered to the wall behind him. He felt stuck to the surface as if he’d used chakra to do it. That was just how stiff his body was under Tsunade’s loving attack.

But he had a question to get out, even if he had to stutter it like a fool.

“Why?” he gasped. “Why now? Why after all this time?”

Tsunade looked up, continuing to jerk him off with her breasts.

“I don’t have time for immature fools who spend their time running around the world,” she said. “They remind me of myself. But someone who steps up, doing something they don’t want to and don't even know if they can handle, just because it’s the right thing? That’s a real man. And real men are hot.”

With her declaration finished, she let globs of saliva out of her mouth, dripping them down her cleavage to lubricate his cock. She even shifted her breasts so that the head of his cock peeked out, dipping her head to wrap her lips around him. Jiraiya’s eyes fluttered. The Legendary Sucker indeed.

Lewd popping sounds emanated from Tsunade as she suctioned her lips around his cock. Around HIS cock! It still felt like a dream. He wasn’t sure if he’d think this was real in the morning. But he’d damn well enjoy it tonight. 

Tsunade's nipples scraped against his skin, still stiff and pointy, a complete contrast to the unbelievable softness of her breasts. These were the REAL hidden clouds, Jiraiya decided, because those tits felt as puffy as something you’d spot in the sky. His balls were tightening, but he used every ounce of experience and willpower he possessed to stave off his orgasm. He didn’t want this to ever end.

But… it would end. There was only so long a man could stave off his nature. Tsunade knew it was coming, too, but she didn’t duck out of the way.

She opened her mouth as wide as one of Orochimaru’s snakes just in time to take Jiraiya’s load in her maw. With so much work taking care of Naruto, Jiraiya hadn’t even been to a brothel in months. Even his own hand hadn’t been used for almost that long. That left him backed up enough to flood Tsunade’s mouth with spurt after spurt.

Her eyes widened as her mouth was completely filled with bitter liquid. Small tears formed in the corner of each eye. But she still swished his load around after shutting her mouth, then swallowed. Jiraiya watched her throat bulge, KNOWING that it was his seed sliding down into her stomach. 

He wanted more. He’d seen so many faces tonight that he didn’t know she could make, he needed to see how many others she’d been hiding from him.

But before he could do anything else, Tsunade pulled his pants up, hiding his cock.

“What?” Jiraiya complained.

“Men who take on challenges are hot,” Tsunade said, pulling her own shirt back on, “but you know what’s even hotter? Men who follow through.”

She stood up, dressed again, and dragged a stunned Jiraiya to the door, opening it and pushing him through. In the hallway outside her room, he looked back at her, finding her arms crossed.

“If you want the rest…” she said. “Prove that you mean it about taking care of that kid.”

She was smiling as the door shut. Dazed, Jiraiya walked back toward his own room. Yet with each step, his shock faded a bit more, though the feeling of being blue-balled never completely left him.

He felt certainty, even more than he had before. He couldn’t fail at this. Not just because of Tsunade’s offered reward, but because by offering something like that, she showed that she thought he wouldn’t follow through unless he had some kind of reward waiting. That offended him.

He was still vaguely angry when he entered his room, but that was immediately replaced by shock.

Naruto wasn’t crying. The boy was sound asleep, tucked in bed, with Shizune sitting over him smiling down. She’d gotten him asleep in less than half the time it took Jiraiya, and looking at the baby, Naruto looked unbelievably peaceful.

Shizune yelped at the sound of a thud. When she looked up, she found Jiraiya, one of the legendary Sannin, prostrating himself on the floor.

“Please, Sensei, teach me!” he begged.

It was so loud that Naruto woke up, beginning to cry. Getting him back to sleep became the Sannin’s first lesson.