Cursed object: The candy cane

As an employee of the cursed object department, you’d think I was better than the general public at identifying cursed objects before I touch one, and you’d think that I’d never be cursed by one in the safety of my own home, but here I am cursed and on Christmas.

It all started yesterday. As a manager of the archives, I had been working since the night before to catch up on my work before the department closed for a few days so everyone could go enjoy their holiday.

I managed to finish at about three o'clock in the afternoon after writing down the last item that had come in. It was a male chastity belt, and as you can guess, it caused the wearer to recently become a femboy with massive breasts and a super tiny cock.

Poor guy honesty just wanted to have some kinky fun with his boyfriend and ended up barely five foot tall, with almost no dick, and again those massive breasts he’ll be caring around. There was also some mention of overwritten personality so he’ll likely not change any of it now.

Such is the way of the cursed objects, we can’t stop them yet, and new types seem to be discovered every day. There was even a case of a reality-warping one, but due to its nature, it was impossible to study and archive any accurate information.

So all we can do is help[anyone cursed adjust to their new life. I filed away the report and clocked out of work. I now had a whole week off of work and Christmas was tomorrow so it was time to head home and get some family time in with my wife and daughter.

When I got home, my fighter was in the kitchen with her fiance making baked treats. Well, more like her fiance was doing it, she was a professional baker after all, and she sure did like to show off. Not that I’m complaining, it might even be my favorite part about my future daughter-in-law.

She could use me to try out new treats anytime. Now I’m even worse at baking than my daughter so I stay out of their way and go find my wife who was pulling out some last-minute decorations to set up around the house.

I help her out for the next hour pulling box after box out of the attic and garage. Then we unpacked them and set them up somewhere. Eventually, we found a box that was dated from nineteen to twenty-one.

I asked my wife about it since I had never seen it, and she told me it was old stuff from when her grandfather was younger. She had recently gotten it from her mother and she was excited to pull some of the stuff out to honor her late grandfather.

I started unpacking the box and finding all kinds of stuff from throughout her grandfather's life. Some of the stuff was from before the Great War, and some from World War II. There was even a photo of him and his squad from when he was enlisted.

I handed each thing from the box to my wife until there was only one item left, a candy cane. I tried to hand it to her and she looked at me confused, she said she had no idea it was in there, but with how old it could be it was better off as trash.

I looked at it and it seemed fine. I asked her again if she was sure, and she just looked at me. She already knew that I was going to eat it, and well she must have been trying to figure out why I’d take the risk of eating a candy cane that could be nearly a hundred years old.

She ended up telling me if it killed me or made me sick, I’d be going to the hospital alone. I laughed and told her I accepted that and opened the candy cane. I started to lick it and my wife couldn't keep herself from gagging as she watched me, so I left the room and headed to my lounge to relax.

I plopped my ass in my recliner and sat back. I threw on a channel with random Christmas specials and happily licked and sucked away at my candy cane until it was thin enough that I just had to bite it to finish it.

I was now happily sitting in my chair when my daughter came in and stared at me without saying anything. Now as a jokester dad, I took it as a game and stared at her silently until she gave up and left.

I had thought I won, and I was celebrating in my chair when she came back with my wife who also looked at me strangely. After a moment of silence, my wife asked me who I was. Confused I asked her what she meant, I was her husband.

She looked surprised when I said that and covered her mouth with her hands before running out of the room. Now I’m no idiot, something was going on, and whatever it was was upsetting my amazing wife, so I had to fix it.

I sit up and stand up out of my chair and my pants fall to the ground along with my underwear. I freak a bit and cover myself apologizing to my daughter and telling her not to look. I told her I’d tighten my belt and get my pants back on in a second.

She was silent for a moment and then asked me if I really hadn’t noticed. I look up at her. Just hearing that made me understand what was going on. I had heard countless people say that to victims of cursed objects.

I gulp and look down at myself. At least my pants falling down made sense now. I let go of my pants and stepped out of them, now that I’m smaller my shirt was long enough to cover everything. I look up at my daughter and ask her how bad it was.

She told me I was still human, which was great news, but she also informed me that I was about four foot eleven, had long flowing orange hair, and had very feminine features. I gulped again when she asked me if it was just a look, or if I had become female.

I lifted the top of my shirt and looked down. I looked up at my daughter and sighed. I told her that I was no longer in possession of a male body. She let out a small chuckle but apologized, then left to go find me something that would fit me.

She eventually came back with the only thing that would fit me. A small Santa-themed dress that her mother and I had gotten for her when she was younger. Nothing more insulting than knowing you now fit into your kid's clothes from when they were a child.

I put it on since I had no other options, well other than dragging one of my shirts around and risking tripping everywhere. I went off to find my wife who was sitting in the living room nearly in tears. I sat next to her and started rubbing her back.

She immediately hugged me and apologized to me, she had no idea that something from the box was cursed, she’d never have brought it home had she known. I told her it was okay, and that it sure wasn't her fault.

It didn’t curse people who touched it, and I was the dumbass who ate it without thinking that was a possibility. I mean I literally work at a place that deals with cursed objects, I should have been a little more cautious.

She cried for a bit, and I ended up crying with her, but we got it all out. I even made a joke that as an employee of the cursed object department, I did have higher chances of something like this happening, and that I was glad to be a cute girl instead of a duck or something else.

She laughed and agreed. To be honest though it wasn’t entirely a joke. In the last month, nine employees in our branch had incidents like this, but I don’t need to worry about that. Instead, I’ll focus more on not getting cursed again.

The rest of the night was a bit awkward as we all adjusted to my new situation, but in the end, when my daughter-in-law brought out the trays of treats I was happy as can be. I kind of went wild with the sweets, probably a side effect of the curse, but I won’t lie I already had a bit of a problem with that.

Christmas was great and I really enjoyed the rest of the week with my wife. Our lives are a bit different, but we’ve basically rediscovered each other and fallen in love all over again, and I think she’s starting to enjoy having a wife instead of a husband.

Now I’m off to work to sit in the office and explain that not only was I cursed, but I also don't have the item because I ate it. I’m sure they won’t be too mad, I did get a dangerous item off the streets. I guess we’ll see. Either way, after today, my new life as a girl truly begins.