the bandits as unicorns

so much like the last time when i drew the bandits as goblins, this was a suggestion from a $10 patron, and i just Know this wouldn't win a vote against the more hardcore ideas, but i want to do it anyway. so good news, person who submitted this: you still have time to change your suggestion to something more competitive if you want to (otherwise i'll put something involving these designs on the poll for you)

so first of all, their names would change. all unicorns are named after a plant or flower. second of all, unicorns are solitary creatures, so they wouldn't operate as a group. there are no roving bands of unicorns.

valerian is prone to narcissism. you'd find her constantly stopping to gaze at herself in any suitably reflective pond, where she could easily spend days, even weeks at a time if left undisturbed. this makes it very easy to find her, come spring. she's the sort of unicorn you'd put in a princess' garden. too preoccupied with herself to try to escape, and she enjoys the luxurious treatment. and access to virgin princesses.

speedwell is a very rare unicorn. they don't generally come that big! he has no trouble securing mates in the spring, and is undefeated in a fuckfight. that said, he has his preferred filly, and you're just as likely to find him at the reflective ponds looking for her. unicorns may be solitary, but they do play favorites. he'd only ever share her with human virgins. that doesn't count, after all, and it's fun to watch.

gorse and mallow are also highly improbable unicorns. they are not twins in this au, because there's no such thing with unicorns. they just happen to be completely identical, except for a notch in gorse's ear. despite the lack of relation, they're completely inseparable, and are the only male unicorns who happily share their mates in spring (so long as it's only with each other). they've realized it's a lot easier to win fights with other males when there's two of you, though they've never managed to take speedwell down for a chance at valerian.

and that's the bandits as unicorns