That Time I Stopped the Invasion of Canterlot, Pt. 2

Christ, it's been five months since I last wrote anything besides a restock order. Let's get back on that, finally.

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I didn't say anything. What could I say?

I was tired. I hurt- for all my quick thinking and the rather substandard skill of my opponents, they had gotten some good hits in, and I could feel bruises under my fur already. And all my fighting had won for me was an audience- and not the refined, culturally minded audience I'm accustomed to.

And what was I supposed to do with them? Ask for volunteers to come be thrashed by my hooves? I didn't want to fight, I wanted to escape- and considering there were twice as many of these bug creatures than ponies that attended my last solo recital, I rated my odds of escape none too highly.

So I stood, slowly turning and watching as the creatures cheered me and shouted challenges and the like, as more of their kind drifted in to find empty spaces on the walls and roofs around the courtyard.

"Hey, you fight her!"

"What? No way! She'll beat me up!"

"That's the idea! C'mon, it'll be fun!"

"If it's so much fun, YOU fight her!"

"Are you kidding? The last time I lost a fang, the healer said she'd tie me to the bed for a week next time I asked her for anything!"

"Who's the pony?"

"She beat four of us at once! You should have seen it!"

"Really? Wow! Who's gonna take her on next?"

"What about you?"

"Hey, I already took down three ponies! Why don't you?"

"No! You go!"

"No, YOU!"

"YOU!"

That was a sampling of what I heard, and as you might guess from the sample, it wasn't long before several pairs of the creatures were attempting to shove each other off their perches and into the courtyard.

Then, as one of the creatures flew by, obviously trying not to draw attention to itself, a name got shouted out: "Hey, Aphodine!""

"Aphodine!"

"Yeah, Aphodine!"

Fully a dozen of the creatures- a number, might I add, which would have experienced not the slightest difficulty in subduing me if they'd worked with that level of teamwork- took to the air as one bug, grabbed the timid-looking flyer, and flung her down to the ground in front of me.

"Get 'er, Aphodine!"

"Yeah, Aphodine! Show her who's boss!"

"Oh, this is gonna be good whoever wins!"

"Paste her good, pony!!"

"You can do it, Aphodine! Don't let the queen down!"

"Who are you kidding, it's Aphodine!"

"Yeah, but who wants to cheer on a pony?"

"Me! GO PONY! KICK HER CHITIN!"

The bug at my hooves- presumably Aphodine- picked herself up and sighed. "I'm sorry about this," she said quietly.

I admit I was a little ashamed myself, but given the circumstances that was all the sympathy I could muster for someone who was, after all, a member of an invading army of monsters- even if her fellow monsters had elected her specifically to get a beating.

My less-than-voluntary opponent opened her wings and got to a hover. "Nothing personal," she added, and then charged.

I could probably have clotheslined her, but not knowing either her skill or intent, I elected to merely roll out of the way, bouncing to my hooves and spinning around just in time to see her turn in midair and lower her horn.

The instant I saw the green glow I decided to be elsewhere, but even as fast as I moved, a small patch of my fur frizzled as the blasting spell just barely missed me and slammed into the dirt behind me.

This raised a chorus of boos around us, as the other bug creatures shouted things such as, "No fair!" and, "No cheating!" and, "Don't shoot her, FIGHT her!" None of it seemed to affect my opponent, though, who remained well out of my reach, trying to line up another shot with her magic.

The previous fights had deprived me of anything I could throw except my previously defeated foes, and although I didn't feel particularly merciful, the sheer inelegance of using equine shields meant I didn't even consider using them. And given that Aphodine wasn't going to let me get anywhere close enough to get a punch or kick in, that left me with only one option.

It wasn't a good option. I had no idea if it would work. But I didn't have time to think of anything else, and I had already noticed the second-story window above the awning shielding a doorway leading into the courtyard from an adjacent building.

I had noticed that window was very dark and, in the last bit of shadow left by the bright midday sun, reflective.

And that doorway, and its awning, and the window above were directly behind me as Aphodine's horn began to glow again.

I jumped straight up, hauled on the awning with whatever grip my fetlocks could provide, and swung up onto it. I felt the mounting pop and begin to break under my weight, but I only needed a second- and perfect lucky timing- to make it work.

I jumped as high as I could from the awning.

The magic bolt passed between my hind hooves and struck the window.

The bolt, or at least some of it, bounced directly back on the hovering creature.

I heard the broken glass fall about the same time I heard the dull thump of Aphodine hitting the turf.

I landed not far from her. She'd been stunned, but she was already trying to get to her hooves when I rushed up to her and got my foreleg around her neck. As I applied my second sleeper hold of the day, I said in her ear, "You'll likely have a headache when you wake up. I'm sorry."

"S'allright... I'm... uuussssssss...." She went limp, but I held the hold a few seconds to make quite sure she was out before releasing her to flop onto the dirt.

Then I flopped myself- not over, but onto my flanks, relieved, trying to ignore the chorus of cheers and celebrations around me. A quick glance up showed that the number of spectators had roughly doubled since Aphodine had been made their chosen sacrifice on the altar of bloodsport.

"What a move! Did you see that?"

"And she can't even fly!"

"Aphodine shouldn't have cheated like that!"

"Who cares? I love to see Aphodine get a beating!"

Now I really did feel sorry for my opponent, and I admit to rather hoping that that particular loudmouthed bug would be the next one tossed to me. If he had been, I would not have given him the sleeper hold. I'd have given him a nap through much less pleasant means.

Then, just as the cheers and shouting began to die down, another female voice shouted: "Ichneumon next!" And that set off and even louder cheer of approval, chants of the name Ichneumon, and a general hubbub that, if some in the crowd enjoyed seeing Aphodine suffer, then the entire crowd passionately wanted Ichneumon ground into paste.

"You! You! And you!" the female voice shouted. "Get those other lings out of the way! I'm gonna make sure the pony's ready!"

More cheers, and a significant number of changelings beyond the three told off descended next to me. Each of them gave a cheery, almost friendly smile (rather spoiled by the prominent fangs) and a few words of encouragement as they picked up their fallen comrades and carted them out of the courtyard.

And then there was one bug who landed, a small chair under one forehoof and a bottle of water in the other. "Have a seat," she said. "Let's have a look at you. Water?"

I suddenly felt extremely parched. After all, I'd missed my tea. "Please," I said, allowing her to seat me on what was essentially a stool. A pair of hooves, to my surprise, gave me an expert rub of the shoulders, and when I twitched as she touched a bruise or stiff muscle, she gave it a little extra attention.

"Name's Dragonfly," she said. "What's yours?"

"Do you care?" I asked.

I felt her shrug before her hooves resumed their massage. "Not much," she said. "But I spent the last three years in Manehattan, and I like to get to know ponies."

"Why are you doing this?" I asked.

"The queen said, 'go and feed,' so we went out and fed," Dragonfly said. "We eat love. Now we've got a whole kingdom of love to feed from. Plenty for everyling."

"No, no," I said. "Why are you helping me? Don't you want to see me get my comeuppance?"

Another unseen shrug. "Eeeh, it was a fair fight," she said. "Thanks for not being too rough on Aphodine, by the way. She gets stuck with all the bad jobs. Mostly garbage duty back at the hive. She's not really a warrior." She started working on a particularly sore spot on my ribs. "Ichneumon's not like that. He's a really good fighter. Be careful."

"I will. But why are you helping me?"

"Oh, lots of reasons," Dragonfly said. "For one thing, if I hadn't spoken up they might have picked me. I'm a pretty good fighter myself. Fastest flier in the Hive, too. If you run, I'll catch you. For another thing, I really want to see Ichneumon get a beating. Aphodine didn't deserve it, but trust me, he does."

"Fair enough," I said, purely for conversational purposes. "But then, why am I doing this?"

The bug's hooves stopped rubbing. "Well," she said in a whisper I could just barely hear over the crowd, "have you even noticed just how close my fangs are to your neck?"

All the muscles the bug had just loosened up for me went tight again.

"I'm not like most of these other bugs," she continued to whisper. "I'm smart. Smarter than Aphodine, and she's not stupid, she just gets bullied. I'm not going to trade kicks with you. If I come for you, you will not see it coming, get me?"

I nodded fractionally.

The hooves resumed their massage. "You're doing this," she said in a louder voice, "because as long as you fight- as long as you're entertaining- you get to stay free. If you lose, or if you get boring- into a pod you go. Happy dreams for you, yummy meals for us, and there you stay.

"And I've captured my share of ponies, and trust me, none of them who know it's happened to them want to go back in the cocoon, no matter how nice the dreams are. So you're going to keep fighting as long as you can, because- who knows?- something may happen." Another pause in the rubbing. "It's not gonna happen, let's get that straight now, but maybe it will. That's what you're fighting for." The hooves resumed a moment, then paused a moment. "Well, that and to take that sneer off Ichneumon's face. That's important too."

Well, that certainly put things in perspective. After that little speech, I didn't waste breath on pleas or begging. It would have been wasted breath. But there was one thing... "What's this Ichneumon's attitude towards Aphodine?" I asked.

"He barely knows she exists," Dragonfly said. "He's tripped her in the tunnels once or twice, made her spill the goo she was carrying, stuff like that. Doesn't go out of his way to do it though. I don't even think he knows when he does it." The hooves paused again. "I don't know if that's better or worse, come to think of it."

Neither did I, and I sipped at my water while trying to puzzle it out.

Then the shouts rose again: "Here he is!" "There's Ichneumon! Get him down here!"

"Okay, rest time's up," Dragonfly said, giving my sore back one last pat. "Give him Tartarus. And trust me, when you see his face, you will not find it hard to punch it."

Then the water was taken away, a gentle shove pushed me off the stool, and I was left alone to face my next opponent.