The Mandate of Khaos: True Feelings (ch. 8)

Updated the last bit of previous chapter with a Roll that fit better in there rather than at the beginning of this one.

Thanks as always for your support, and I hope you enjoy the chapter. (For those interested, the case usb 3.0 and the Sys Fan 1 still doesn't work, but the rest seemingly does so I'll just buy a fan hub and be done with it. Hopefully the pc won't stop turning on like it did before lol).

- - -

Shinji Asutaroto's House

Tuesday, 21:00

One day after Club Party

-

"Nii-san, aren't you missing one?"

She knew.

"Hm, no, I don't think so." I kept my voice casual, stirring my tea.

Of course, I knew that she knew.

"No, no, nii-san," Sakura said, her serene smile never wavering. "I'm quite certain you missed one."

And obviously, she knew that I knew that she knew I’d deliberately omitted one of my new Abilities.

I had never truly hidden anything from her. Perhaps I had under-explained some of the facets of my new power, but that was more due to her lacking the necessary context to fully grasp some of it than anything else.

I had said it before, and I would repeat it as many times as needed: Sakura had been my one true link to this world. The main reason why I hadn’t succumbed to madness, shock, grief, anger, or any other emotion that had been tearing through me like a car on Germany's autobahn.

Therefore, I had no qualms telling her about the Khaos Gacha. I had no qualms telling her about whenever I got a new Power from it. Should that decision ever prove detrimental due to an unexpected betrayal, I would simply have to accept that such was merely the consequences derived from my weak self, who needed someone to share his burdens with. Needed like Lazarus needed water and Romeo needed Juliet – to have someone to share with.

In better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, I needed to believe there was someone out there that I could trust implicitly. That I could love and cherish without reservation.

If I didn’t, I knew what end awaited me. I wasn't strong enough to live a life like that for the second time. Not when I hadn't been able to live it the first time, even.

"You are not bad at lying, nii-san," Sakura observed, tilting her head. Despite myself, I was amused. "If you truly wanted to hide that you received one more Ability than you told me, you only needed to omit the ticket you gained from defeating the Evil Spirit incursion. The math would have balanced perfectly then." She peeled off her rubber gloves, the snap echoing softly in the quiet kitchen.

"Instead," she continued, padding towards me in socked feet across the carpet, "you told me you gained one ticket for the first kill of each spirit type, one for defeating ten hitodama, and one for the 'whole evil spirit incursion thing'." She stopped before me, a small spark of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my forehead. "You're not dumb, nii-san. And while I’m certainly not as clever as you, I’m not blind either. You defeated more than ten obake. I counted."

"So," I half-snorted at the fact that she had hit the nail right on the head. I pity the fool lulled by those empty eyes into thinking there's nothing behind them, was something I had thought often in the past month that we had lived together. "You're saying that, subconsciously, I wanted you to ask about it?"

"No." No? "I'm saying that subconsciously, you wanted to tell me, but were too afraid to do so by your own initiative."

Just as I was starting to open my mouth to tell her about Trance, the Ability I hadn't disclosed to her during dinner, the words died in my throat as Sakura leaned sideways, her head coming to rest gently on my lap. She gazed up, her smile softening.

"And you know what, nii-san?" Her voice was a whisper. "It's alright if you don't tell me. Truly. I don't need to know. Whether it's something you don't trust me with yet, knowledge too dangerous to share, or even…" her smile shifted, turning sly, "...something held back for nefarious purposes." The playful glint in her eyes banished any seriousness from the word, her absolute faith in me shone through.

If nothing else, that simple fact, that show of absolute trust, was what made me do so.

"Alright." She said after I explained it, nodding her head slowly. "Let's test it."

Eh? "Hm, Sakura, uh—"

"Nii-san," she interrupted gently, her gaze unwavering. "You were afraid I'd become wary of you if you revealed this, right?"

Not only that, but yes, I thought while I nodded my head.

"You are also afraid," she continued unexpectedly, "that you will use it on me for nefarious purposes." She said, once again doing mocking air-quotes while she said the phrase, as if to underscore how idiotic that was in her opinion. "Nii-san… you're not capable of that."

There was a lump in my throat. "How could you possibly know that? I—"

"Because, nii-san," she interjected gently. "You're a good person."

A bitter laugh almost escaped me. "I really, really am not."

Sakura just nodded, her head still resting on my thigh. "That's why I said let's try it. Right now. I, Sakura Asutaroto, solemnly swear I am of sound mind and body, and I absolve you entirely of responsibility for whatever happens in the next five minutes. Is that sufficient legalistic reassurance for you?"

I sighed, the weight of her trust pressing down. "Look, Sakura, it's not that simpl—"

"Bwack."

I stared at her.

"Sakura…"

"Bwack, bwack bwack." She continued, perfectly imitating a chicken.

"Sakura!"

"Bwack bwack bwack!" She tucked her hands under her armpits, flapping her elbows like frantic wings, the picture of absurdity on my lap.

"Oh, for fuck's sake—" Frustration, amusement, and a desperate need to end the ridiculousness surged. I snapped my fingers, the gesture sharp and final.

Immediately, Sakura stilled. The frantic flapping ceased. The soft smile faded, replaced by utter, unnerving calm. Her body relaxed completely against me, limbs loose, breath evening out, akin to a puppet who was being put to rest after a performance.

A good person she says.

Immediately, the most depraved thoughts flooded my mind. All the possibilities. All the desires. All the things I had dreamed of, fantasized about, masturbated to doing.

I raise my hand—

And place a single finger on the middle of her forehead.

"From now on, and for the following five minutes, you will be honest with and about your true feelings, no matter what."

I gazed longingly at the beautiful breasts resting so temptingly on my lap, and snapped my fingers again.

What would be the difference between fondling her now and fondling a lifeless doll built in her image?

“…Not even a rumple or slight crease. Nii-san, you truly are—" Sakura raised her eyes to mine, her voice sounding oddly disappointed before she cut herself off abruptly. Her whole body seemed to freeze, as if I had snapped my fingers again.

Then, like a coiled spring released, she surges upwards.

Her lips crash against mine. Not hesitant, not questioning, but hungry and demanding, filled with raw urgent need. My own restraint—on literal tatters from having her head on my lap—shatters completely. My arms wrap around her, pulling her closer as I kiss her back with equal fervor. Our mouths open, tongues meeting in a desperate tangle. Air becomes secondary, the only necessity is this connection, this heat. We break apart, gasping, foreheads pressed together, breath mingling raggedly.

“W-wait—” she pants, eyes wide and dark as I hold her face within my hands intent on pulling her closer once again.

“Breathe through your nose,” I murmur hoarsely against her lips, already pulling her back in. My hand cups her jaw, tilting her face to deepen the kiss. She doesn’t resist. Instead, she shifts, straddling my lap, her weight settling fully against me. The friction is electric. She grinds down, deliberately, against the straining bulge in my pants, drawing a low groan from my throat.

My mind was a haze, senses overwhelmed by the feel of her body against mine, the taste of her mouth, the scent of her skin. I registered a strange, high-pitched sound somewhere in the background, but it was distant, unimportant, easily swallowed by the tide of sensation.

Then, my head exploded. Not the one one would expect in this situation, and certainly not in such a way. Instead, I felt a feathered body hit the side of my head at full speed, knocking me sideways. I scrambled back, cursing and yelling, "What the fuck, you golden-assed son of a—?!"

The expected honking and indignant flapping didn't come as I lay on her though. Instead, I saw Ms. Goldeggs hiding behind me, feathers ruffled, and feathers on her left side black. Charred black.

Charlie the Charizard—also named by Sakura—stood poised to unleash a torrent of fire, flames licking at the corners of her mouth, eyes burning with the same kind of irritation I had when the damn goose was being particular annoying.

I barely had time to yell out a warning before I was shoving Sakura backwards to get her away and leaping to the ground myself as the second best alternative, Ms. Goldeggs beneath me, as a wave of searing hit washed over me, scorching the couch and leaving my back sweating horrors.

Before I had the mind to think of anything though, a wave of pure dread assaulted me. Clearly, it assaulted Ms. Goldeggs too, because it's only thanks to me quickly swerving out of the way that I didn't end up with goose piss staining my clothes.

Charlie was also clearly affected, as when I looked at it, she is spreak on the ground, belly up in a completely submissive position.

Sakura… well, Sakura was the source.

"Move."

And they moved. Any past grievances vanished instantly. Ms. Goldeggs, displaying surprising solidarity, used her beak to nudge the trembling Charizard upright. Together, they scrambled away in a frantic pitter-patter of claws and talons, fleeing the room like fugitives.

I risked a glance to the side, where Sakura stood, her initial annoyance already fading, the apathetic mask I knew so well settling back into place.

"…I suppose that rather ruined the mood, did it not?" Sakura murmured, a wry twist to her lips. I couldn’t stifle the snort that escaped me. "Still," she added, a sly smirk returning, "who knew you had it in you, nii-san?"

Confusion flickered through me for half a second before understanding slammed home.

She didn’t know. She thought I was the one who made her kiss me. She didn’t know what suggestion I had implanted.

I mirrored her smirk, watching with grim satisfaction as her teasing expression faltered, replaced by a flicker of unease.

A good person wouldn’t tell her.

I am not a good person.

Sakura’s face flushed crimson, deepening to a shade I hadn’t known was possible. "Y-you—!" she sputtered, mortification radiating off her.

My laughter burst out, loud and unrestrained. Her adorable, indignant pout only fueled it further. Eventually, I caught my breath and pushed myself up, crossing the short distance between us. Not for the first time, I appreciated how she had to tilt her head back slightly to meet my gaze.

I raised my arms and pulled her into a hug. An indescribable feeling – relief, gratitude, something raw and profound – surged through me as her arms wrapped around my waist, hugging me back fiercely. The lump in my throat returned, thick and insistent.

"Sakura, I— I lo—"

A cool finger pressed against my lips, silencing me. She pushed me back gently until we faced each other again. "I want to hear that. There's nothing more that I desire to hear than that. But…" She looked down, and for the first time, I thought she looked her age. Young, inexperienced, afraid, might I dare say. "The location is a bit… I wanted… no, sorry, this is stupid, actually, just—"

"Nuh-uh."

She blinked, tilting her head at the childish interruption.

"Nuh-uh," I repeated firmly. These were her true feelings. There was no doubt to be had. She likely would have just accepted me saying it, said it back, and we would have ended up fucking in her bedroom all night long had I not implanted that suggestion on her mind.

From now on, and for the following five minutes, you will be honest with and about your true feelings, no matter what.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want that. In that moment, I craved it more than air.

But that wasn’t what Sakura's true feelings desired. She wanted, I think, after a life starved of affection, of companionship, of any sort of true human contact—Sakura Asutaroto wanted to feel loved.

Go on a date, hold hands, drink from the same cup with heart-shaped straws, kiss under the moonlight.

"Let's go, this weekend. Let's go out."

Sakura didn't speak. Her face answered for her. I softly kissed the tears forming in the corners of her eyes away.

I looked at the clock. The five minutes were close to passing.

"Anything else you want to tell me, Sakura?"

She tilted her head to the side, as if to think on it for a bit, before beginning to speak.

"Until this weekend then," she declared, her voice firm, "you're forbidden from pursuing any of those devil sluts." She stepped closer, her finger poking my chest. I'll be your first everything. Kisses, dates… all of it. After that," her gaze softened just a fraction, "as long as you continue to love me… I don't really care what you do."

I looked at her.

She looked at me.

My mouth opened, then closed, gaping like a fish stranded on land. That's how Sakura left me, hips swaying enticingly all the way to her room.

The door clicked shut.

That girl, I thought, my heart hammering against my ribs, is going to be the death of me.

- - -

Feat: Your first make out session was with your sister (not related by blood). Congratulations.

Reward: One Bronze Familiar Ticket

[Giffany]

|Uncommon Familiar|

Gravity Falls - "Just... Giffany?" A Yandere Ai girlfriend that can possess and manipulate electronics for you, it may take her some time to get through stronger firewalls though, and she is also limited by the CPU of the electronics she possesses. Beawre, she may get a little possessive.

I looked to the text. I looked at the door of Sakura's room. I looked at the text again.

…yeah, this one probably won't be seeing the light of the day for a bit.