Post 288: A Date at the Movies, p4 (Boner Alert!)

My eyes had shot wide as suddenly I recognized the bitter taste that had laced the sickly sweet green smoothie shot I’d just swallowed. Bessie, meanwhile, blithely continued to clean up our table and the girls had already dissolved into laughter.  “What’s in it??” Josie asked, between a couple girlish snorts, “What’s it gonna do to him??”

“It’s mostly just vitamins for energy, some kale and beet greens,” Bessie, my new medical assistant who apparently still moonlit here at BOOMfood Smoothie Bar, followed up. Then she looked at me, and added with crooked, dimpled smile, “But they say twenty minutes from now you might want to be someplace private.”

Fuck.

Two of the girls across the table were both suddenly adjusting their tops, Stephanie biting her lower lip and Randi’s eyes flashing with mischief. Josie tossed her hair behind her shoulder and I could feel Shanette on my left draw in a deep breath and inch in toward me, closer with her big, softly chocolate breasts, presented lushly in low-cut top of white spandex.

“Haha what? What’s happening?” Melissa asked, as I sat back and pushed the rest of the green, murky drink away from me, “What was in it?”

“It was Viagra,” I answered, kicking myself already for drinking the thing and watching Melissa dissolve into giggles along with the rest of her friends. How stupid am I? I marveled, but also wondering how a place like this could get away from serving medication on their menu? Yes, yes, sildenafil had been made non-prescription, placed over-the-counter just about a year ago, and it was widely available. But served in a smoothie at a chain restaurant?! And how could I have not asked to read the description on the take-out menu before downing nearly all of it?!

“And you had a double,” Bessie confirmed, “I’ve never been allowed to sell more than one to a customer before haha!” The girls sitting near us, at the counter along the wall, had turned to us to listen.

Jesus. My erections, when they came these days, were already enormous and often painful. Yes, I had just orgasmed a couple hours ago but in my priapic state that didn’t count for much. I mean, I was sporting half chub already, just sitting here with these young beauties, with all their perfumes. What was going to happen to me tonight, now that I’d just ingested-

“How many milligrams are in this thing?” I asked Bessie, praying it was maybe a bit less than the low, non-Rx dose one could buy as a little blue pill at Rite-Aid. Like, 10mg or something. Even that could be potent, though.

“In a ‘double’?” she replied, checking her tablet, apparently looking for the ingredients of ‘Boner Alert’, “I dunno, let me do my math…”

My brow furrowed.

“Like…180?” she answered.

“A hundred and eighty!!” I exclaimed, bringing a new round of laughter from the girls surrounding me, who were obviously finding great humor in my dismay. Christ! As a gerontologist, I’d prescribed a lot of sildenafil over the years, but never more than 100mg in a single dose…and even that was a lot. Normal prescription dosage was 25, maybe 50 milligrams.

“Oh, sweetie, you didn’t finish the whhhole thing,” I heard Melissa offer in condolence, from my right. She giggled.

“Yeah drink up,” Randi chided, pushing the small plastic cup with the remaining green stuff towards me.

”I…I think I should probably leave?” I muttered, causing the whole tableful of girls to suddenly coo and close in around me.

“Nooooo….!” Shanette and the rest of them sang, as a new wave of perfume descended over me and I sat further back, resigning myself to what was about to come…

…

Ten minutes later, maybe fifteen, I was laughing. Jesus, what else was in that drink? I felt giddy, energized. No deadly boner yet. The girls around me were popping fried tofu squares from the plate Bessie had dropped off at the table. “On the house, something new on the menu, ” she said, but warned me not to have any. “Infused with energized estrogen,” she explained. Didn’t have to tell me twice! The girls seemed to love them, though.

“Mmmm you can really taste the saw palmetto…” someone commented.

“So, Dr. J…” Randi asked, from across the table to my right. She was only part way through her second smoothie, and seemed to be resisting the plate of snacks. “You’ve always, like, hired girls, worked with women. Why?”

“Yeah, why?” asked Josie, chewing an “EstroBomb”. She’d removed her little black jacket and her surprisingly big breasts were still a tempting display across the table, as were Stephanie’s and Randi’s. Gosh, when had they all gotten so busty?

“Oh, uhh…I dunno…” I answered, taken a bit aback by the question, taking a sip of the diet coke Melissa had asked Bessie to get for me.

“We know you’ve had affairs with other girls, over the years, at the office,” Randi continued, “There was the Deanna girl, Rina…now Melissa…”

I glanced over at Melissa, who smiled at me girlishly. No one was saying anything of the tryst Randi and I had had, how she’d seduced me in her car. Or Shanette in my apartment. Marisela in the waiting room. Or Morgan In my office, Lakshmi in the backseat…

“When you hire someone, is that what you’re thinking?” Randi pressed, “If they might eventually want to sleep with you?”

“What?! Haha n-no?” I blurted, my reply not sounding convincing enough, even to me. “I was m-married, remember..?”

The girls pushed on.

“Oh, c’mon…”

“Be real…”

Melissa watched me intently.

“Have you been looking for a particular kind of girl, over the years?” Randi asked, “Someone you hoped replied to your, like, job postings?”

“Uhhh…” I stammered, laughing nervously but feeling some weird sort of liquid courage bubbling up inside me. There was more than just phosphodiesterase inhibitors in that drink, for sure.

“Dr. J what’s your ideal woman?” Randi finally asked, straightforward, staring me down.

I looked her right in the eyes, meeting her sparkling amber gaze with my own, and actually felt a little crook of a smile curl onto my lips. ”I...I guess I do have a type, an ideal sort of woman that I, um, gravitate towards,” I began, not even considering that I was feeling the effects of the drink, buzzing a bit, loose of tongue. Dizzy, a bit, flushed. Amorous.

”And just what is this ideal type, Dr. J?” Randi repeated. Girls were now, I saw, hanging on my every word…including all six-and-a-half feet of the bosomy brunette to my right.

I paused to think. I turned to my right, glancing up at Melissa and smiled. The girls all saw it, I knew, and I felt it myself. It was not my usual reticent smile, not cautious or vague but a frank, unguarded, smile that flashed in my eyes and crinkled my usually bashful dimples. She looked down at me, expectant, and I before I answered Randi’s question I boldly lowered my hand to Melissa’s left thigh.

That second, that moment stretched out, my hand laying on her leg. First it was as if a static shock surged through the both of us, our bodies connecting where my questing hand met the silky soft sheath of skin surrounding her spectacular thigh. Hadn’t she been wearing leggings earlier? I thought for a brief sec; I wasn’t aware of it at the time, but apparently she’d - yikes - soaked through them at the movies, and had luckily had a pair of soft grey shorts in the car. Anyway, as I moved my hand slowly down her leg, the contrast between her soft skin and the solid muscle underneath was amazing. I began tracing the individual muscles of her quads with my hand, and felt Melissa obligingly flexing each one as I reached it, both of us now looking down. My hands looked so small against the backdrop of her huge, bare thigh.

”My ideal type?” I repeated, thoughtfully, as I looked back up into Melissa’s eyes, tawny and green in the light. I paused again to renew my smile. “I think I’m looking at her.”

At that, in perhaps my most foolheartedly bold move to date, I grabbed the small plastic cup of what was left of my boner smoothie and downed the remaining inch, thinking:

My erection will be a tribute to her.

“holy shit,” Josie said.

The table erupted in a thunder of female sighs, moans, laughs and “awwwwws” and suddenly - after I saw golden lightning explode in her eyes - Melissa turned at the torso more fully towards me, wrapped two hands around my face and pulled me in for a kiss that shredded my guts. The world around us disappeared, sound and light vanishing as all at once my whole world was her mouth and lips and tongue and the taste of her and her breath. I groaned - that I could hear - loudly, and I think the girls around us cheered.

Suddenly, I could feel the stirring in my own groin. Here it comes. Melissa’s mouth was still consuming mine, my tongue beaten back into my throat by the aggressive push of her own, but - jesus. I was used to being oversized in the schlong department, but had never felt this big before down there. Even at not-100%-full-mast the strain was quickly becoming unbearable against my pants. I needed suddenly to readjust and with - still not breaking our kiss - my free left hand I shed my last few trappings of modesty, frantically shifting the angle of my cock against my right thigh through my khakis and boxers. Hell’s bells, I thought to myself, as Melissa’s tongue continued to dominate mine, here it fucking comes. I suddenly felt a little unsteady, sitting there, could almost picture my circulation being redirected away from my brain and major organs and down towards my waist. Yes, my head was starting to swim a bit. As we kissed I was getting harder and harder and harder. I groaned again, this time not in the rapture of the tongue lock I was sharing with this most beautiful of women. I groaned because it had started to hurt.

Melissa was the one to break our kiss. She looked down at me, into my eyes, and saw all she needed in my plaintive gaze. My erection surged again, from me just looking at her, and my jaw dropped open.

“Ow,” I said, eyes narrowing.

“Oh my god you poor thing,” she said, a breathless thrill in her voice, “I’m gonna get you home...”

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