Blindsided 22

Clomping in through the beauty salon door, Robbie caught Shar’s eye and instantly knew she had been expecting him.

“You’re early!” She announced as she flashed him a smile.

“Early!” Robbie shot back. “What time was I supposed to get here?”

“Not for another thirty minutes,” Shar replied after looking up at the clock on the wall. “But that’s ok. The sooner we get started, the sooner we can get out of here, I guess.”

“Nothing about this is ok,” Robbie moaned as he trotted over towards the counter. “I’m slowly dying from poison. I’ve just been forced to work a full shift at the hotel in a skirt and heels. And now God knows what procedures you’re about to do to me! I take it Agatha has been in touch?”

“Yes, she called earlier and gave some very specific instructions,” Shar replied while nodding. “She also made some quite scary threats about what would happen if I didn’t do what she asked.”

Sighing loudly, Robbie shook his head. “I know. It's a mess. Let’s just get on with it, shall we?”

======================================================

Thirty minutes later, Robbie lay on his back, looking up at the ceiling. Lifting his arm up in front of his face, he could definitely tell it was darker. “Well, that’s the tanning over with,” he thought as he twisted his long-nailed hands back and forth. “Now, it’s time for the facial, I guess. God, I’m an idiot. Why couldn’t I just have said I was going to a dentist appointment? It’s all this girly crap. It’s affecting my mind.”

“Ok, close your eyes,” Shar announced as she moved towards his face with a cotton pad.

“I remember this,” Robbie moaned. “You’re doing my eyelashes again, aren’t you?”

“You know, I can’t tell you,” Shar replied while placing the cotton pad under Robbie’s right eye. “The final look has to be a surprise. Agatha’s orders. I didn’t cover all the mirrors up for fun, you know?”

“Fine!” Robbie groaned as Shar took another cotton pad before repeating the procedure on the other eye. “I’ll stop asking. But talk to me about something. Everywhere aches, and I somehow get the feeling this isn’t going to be quick.”

“Sure. What would you like to know?” Shar said as she started brushing through Robbie’s long thick lashes.

“Anything!” Robbie replied, reaching down to grab his thigh in an attempt to stop his leg from shaking. “Tell me about your boyfriend. You mentioned him once before. Where did you guys meet?”

“Oh… well… that’s a boring story. You don’t want to hear about that.” Shar replied as she continued to separate his lashes.

“I do,” Robbie pleaded. “Please, Shar. I need something to take my mind off things.”

Shar scoffed loudly. “Fine! Well, we met what seems like a lifetime ago before he went to work on the oil rigs. Our eyes met across a bar, and the rest, as you say, is history.”

“So, he worked on oil rigs before he joined the military?” Robbie asked.

“Erm…yeah, exactly,” Shar replied. “It’s sometimes tough with him always being away, but I've gotten used to it.”

“That must be tough,” Robbie said. “I’m sorry to hear that. I had a girlfriend not too long ago, but I messed things up. She was a great girl, and I was an arsehole. Always pestering her to dress sexier and wear more makeup. I wish I could turn back the clock. I would appreciate her for who she is now that I know how much of a pain in the backside all this beauty crap can be.”

“Aww, that’s sweet,” Shar cooed. “Well, when we get out of this mess you should tell her what you just said.”

“What? While looking like some freakish shemale Barbie?” Robbie shot back. “I can’t let her see me like this. I’d die from the humiliation.”

“Well, if you think things are bad now. Wait until we’re done here tonight,” Shar mumbled under her breath.

“What as that?” Robbie asked, not hearing what she said.

“I said. Things are probably not as bad as you think. But first, we need to get through tonight. And I can’t work with you yapping on. Here let me pop in my earpods for you. A little music will help you relax.”

Robbie wanted to argue but lying on his back dressed in a revealing robe, he felt very vulnerable. “It’ll be over soon. Then I can get my tonic,” he thought as he felt something slide into his ears before the sound of loud pop music began to play. “Just a few more hours, then the pain will be gone!”

======================================================

“Here drink this,” Shar said, revealing a vial of liquid from her closed palm.

Transfixed on the terrifying sight before him, Robbie failed to hear her. He hadn’t yet looked in a mirror with the ones in the salon still covered, but he already knew he wouldn’t like what he saw. Looking past thick dark lashes that felt twice as heavy as earlier, Robbie looked down at his half-naked body. Having just put on the outfit Shar had produced after finishing his makeover, he sat motionless, staring down in utter disbelief at a skimpy top housing the breasts he wasn’t supposed to have and a micro miniskirt that made his long-tanned legs look like they extended forever. But as embarrassing as the outfit would be to wear, it was his shoes that he was having a hard time excepting.

Leaning forward to get a better look at the mega platform pumps, sporting what must have been a seven-inch stiletto heel, Robbie brushed a lock of blond hair away from his heavily made-up face with an acrylic nail that matched the colour of his killer shoes.

“Hey! Do you want this or not? Shar said in a louder voice.

Managing to peel his eyes away from the hot pink monstrosities that his aching feet had been crammed into, Robbie glanced up at Shar as his eyes lit up. “Mwy thonic,” he said through his thick rubbery lips. The words muffled due to their gigantic size. “You had thith the whole time?”

“Sorry, doll,” Shar replied. “Just following orders. You understand, right? This is only half a dose, though. Agatha said it would take the edge off, but you need to go to this address and meet a man named Jimmy to get the other half,” she added as she passed Robbie the vial of liquid and a piece of paper.

Annoyed, Robbie snatched the vial. Quickly opening the top, he pressed it against his bloated, pink lips before pouring the sickly liquid down his throat. When done, he looked down at the address written on the paper before his heavy-lidded eyes shot over to his intimidating footwear. “You could hath given me thith earlier. Why did you make me thit here in pain thith whole time?”

“Wow, talk about ungrateful,” Shar announced. “After all, I’ve done, this is how you react. You haven’t even thanked me.”

“Thanked you! for what? for thticking needleth in my fathe. You didn't have to go tho exthreme. My lipth are tho big now, I can thee them when I look down. You've ruined my fathe!”

“Get out!” Shar roared, following a moment of silence.

“Get out!” she screamed again as she menacingly moved towards Robbie. “Go on, get out!”

Robbie quickly jumped to his high-heeled feet, and after stumbling slightly, he managed to find his balance. “Fine, thuck you,” he yelled as he snatched the handbag Shar had given him from the table. Then, without looking back, he tettered towards the door with as much grace as a duck on a frozen pond.

Storming through the door and out into the deserted shopping centre, the furious man angrily minced along, trying to ignore the pain in his feet and wondering why Shar had suddenly acted like such a bitch. That is until he caught sight of his reflection in a shop window out the corner of his eyes. Stopping dead in his tracks, Robbie turned as his bloated lips fell open slightly.

(See image 31)

“Oh my God!” he wailed as he brought his freshly painted pink claws up to examine his transformed face. “What the hell hath thhe done to me?”