Blindsided 17

Waking up in an unfamiliar room, Robbie sat up to try and stretch the knots from his stiff back. Scared that the house owner might return, he had endured a restless night on the sofa, reasoning that he could bolt out the backdoor if someone suddenly showed up.

On the glass coffee table in front of him lay three items, the earpiece, his phone, and an empty glass vial. As promised, the temporary cure for his infliction had been delivered to the door. It arrived less than a minute after his conversation with Agatha ended. It also arrived with a loud bang that caused Robbie to almost jump out of his skin. When he recovered from the surprise knock on the door, he looked over to see the padded envelope that had just been thrust through the letterbox. Jumping to his high-heeled feet, he had run to the window, but he was too late! Whoever had delivered the envelope was long gone.

Reaching over, Robbie picked up his phone to check the time but found it dead. Tossing it back onto the table, he picked up the earpiece and placed it into his ear. “About time you woke up, Blondie,” Agatha’s voice instantly rang out. “You’re not ignoring me, are you?”

“Trying to,” Robbie groaned, reaching up to rub the sleep from his eyes, only to coat his fingers in dark eye makeup.

“Well, that’s not a very smart idea now, is it? Agatha announced. “Without me, you're toast, sugabuns.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Robbie moaned. “I’m here now, aren’t I? My phone ran out of battery.”

Agatha tutted. “Silly, girl. Always charge your phone. In fact, look around for a charging cord and plug it in right now. And for being so stupid, I'm adding a speedbump to today's challenge.”

“What!” Robbie exclaimed. “That’s not fair! You didn’t tell me I had to charge it!"

“I also didn’t tell you to wipe your arse after using the toilet,” Agatha shot back. “Don’t be such a ditz, Barbie. try using a little common sense. Phones need charging. Now, hurry up and do it before I make today’s challenge even worse for you.”

Annoyed, Robbie got to his feet and started searching the apartment. It didn’t take him long to locate a phone cord, finding one sitting next to the bed. “Whose house is this anyway?” Robbie said as he plugged in his mobile.

“I told you,” Agatha replied. “Yours! The old owner is gone and isn’t coming back.”

“How can you be so sure?” Robbie asked as he sat down on the bed, already feeling exhausted before the day had even begun. “Unless you poisoned them too?” he added in a half-joking tone.

“Something like that,” Agatha answered, causing Robbie's eyes to widen. “Anyway, enough chit-chat. Let’s get started. We’re already behind schedule today, thanks to you, lazybones. First order of the day. A scavenger hunt around your new house. What I need from you is some form of ID card and a bank card. You have twenty minutes.”

“And if I can’t find them? Robbie asked as he scanned around the femininely decorated room.

“Then you fail, babygirl, and we go straight to today's forfeit,” Agatha said mockingly. “Happy hunting.”

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“Ok, got them,” Robbie panted as he tried to catch his breath. After rushing around for the last ten minutes, he had finally located what Agatha wanted in one of the bedroom draws.

“What have you got?” Agatha asked.

“A passport, a driver’s license, and two bank cards,” Robbie said. “Who's Ruby James,” he added as he opened the passport to see the name.

“You are silly!” Agatha replied before giggling.

“What are you talking about?” Robbie shot back. “Are you insane?”

“Not at all. Did you know there were over two hundred thousand reported cases of identity fraud in the UK last year? Agatha stated. “So, Ruby, it’s time to get dressed and face the world. But first, your speedbump. For not charging your phone, you need to find another outfit that matches your nails. But to make things more interesting, you can’t wear any of the items you wore yesterday. If there is nothing in the house, you can get what you need from the shopping centre. You’re headed there anyway to visit your friendly neighbourhood beauty woman.”

“The beauty salon again?” Robbie moaned. “Why do I have to go there again?”

“Well, Ruby. You don’t quite look like your passport picture now, do you? Agatha announced down his ear. “But don’t worry. We’ll fix that. Don’t forget to do your makeup before you go out. I’ll be expecting a picture in the usual spot by the fountain. Full face and a pretty blue outfit. Heels and a skirt or dress, ok? Oh, and just for fun, get someone to take the picture for you. You have ninety minutes.”

“Yeah, sounds super fun,” Robbie muttered, closing his eyes as he locked his fingers behind his head and shook it from side to side.

======================================================

“You want me to make you look like her,” Shar announced in surprise as she looked down at the picture page of the passport Robbie had just handed her. “Do you think I’m a plastic surgeon or something?”

“No. I just... Oh, I don’t know, Shar,” the frustrated, crossdressed man replied. “She told me to ask you. I’m just trying to get through the day here.”

Shaking her head, Shar smiled. “Yeah, ok, sorry. I guess we could try a few things. You do have a similar shaped face and nose. And with a heavy layer of makeup, you might fool most people as long as they only glanced at this.”

“Sure, whatever you think,” Robbie said with a heavy sigh. “As long as it’s not permanent or anything,”

“Permanent!” Shar exclaimed. “No, of course not. All beauty treatments these days need redoing eventually. Returning customers equals money."

“Ok, what’s first?” Robbie asked, slowly nodding his head.

“Tanning,” Shar excitedly said. “I think I have a spare bikini or two in the back. We’ll get you changed and into the booth for a spray.”

Robbie gulped before taking a deep breath. He knew his dwindling masculine appearance was about to take another hit. He just hoped his new look wasn't going to be anything too drastic.

======================================================

“Here you are,” Shar said as she passed Robbie a mug of coffee.

“Thanks,” he replied while reaching over to take the hot drink from her outstretched arm.

(See image 26)

Catching a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror, he slowly shook his head from side to side. His skin was now darker than it had ever been. Even darker than the time as a kid when his parents took him on a two-week holiday to Tenerife. And his shade of skin colour wasn’t the only thing to have changed in the last two hours. After being assaulted by wax strips and a pair of tweezers, his eyebrows were thinner and more defined than ever, now matching the picture in the passport more closely. Below, his eyes also looked different. The changes were much more subtle than the ultra-feminine arches above them, but his lashes were definitely darker and seemed to curl upwards after Shar had given him what she called a lash tint. Not liking the image in the mirror, he looked away and scoffed. At least, physically, he felt better. With no aches or pains, the effects of the poison hadn't seemed to of presented themselves yet that day.

“Take ten minutes, and then we’ll get started again,” Shar said as she picked up her own coffee and took a sip.

“We’re not done yet?” Robbie groaned, “I thought we were done.”

“Not yet, honey,” Shar said with a smile. “I’ve still got to finish your lashes. Then I suppose you’ll be wanting me to do your makeup, right?”

Robbie went to speak but stopped himself. What was the point of arguing? Shar was only trying to help, and she was right about his makeup. After the mess he'd made that morning, and the scolding he received from Agatha as a result, he really needed her help or risked getting punished. “Uh-huh. Thanks,” he muttered while forcing his bloated lips into a smiling position.