Blindsided 15

Feeling a familiar throbbing headache starting to return, Robbie gazed down at his freshly painted nails as the pungent smell of the baby blue polish filled his nostrils. Considering it was his first attempt at painting his finger and toenails, he hadn’t done a bad job. Agatha told him to take his time, and after locking himself inside a toilet cubicle, he had done just that, savouring every moment of solitude where he didn’t have to be out in public feeling embarrassed.

“Ok, time’s up, Barbie. I hope you’re done?” Agatha hollered down the earpiece.

Looking down at his shiny blue nails that had been dry for a while, Robbie rolled his eyes and shook his head from side to side. “Yeah, I’m done,” he unenthusiastically replied.

“Good. Then chop, chop, girl. It’s time to move,” Agatha said. “Tell me, did you bring your handbag with you today?”

“Urm... No,” Robbie answered, remembering Agatha warning him against lying.

“Really! You’re such a ditz for forgetting something so important like that,” Agatha mocked. “Well, we’ll have to change that. Where are you going to keep your girly possessions without one?”

“I… this skirt has pockets,” Robbie blurted out.” There’s plenty of room for what I need.”

Agatha burst out laughing. “There it is again, that sense of humour of yours. But seriously, you need a bag. You have thirty minutes to get one. It has to be a cute one too. In a light colour with a strap that goes over the shoulder.”

“And how do you expect me to do that with no money?” Robbie moaned as he exited the stall, only to flinch as he caught sight of his feminine reflection in the mirror.

“That’s up to you, sweety,” Agatha replied. “Get someone to buy it for you or repeat the trick you pulled with the nail polish. Send me a picture when you’re done, ok? Tick tock.”

“Come on, there must be something else you want instead,” Robbie moaned.

No reply came. “Agatha, are you listening to me? Agatha!” He screamed in frustration. “Son of a bitch!”

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“Oh, what a cute purse!” Agatha squealed down Robbie’s ear as he sat by the fountain twiddling his thumbs. “How did you get it?”

“You know how,” Robbie angrily growled.

“Why would I ask if I knew?” Agatha said mockingly. “And even if I do. I want to hear you tell me about it.”

Scoffing loudly, Robbie folded his arms under his sensitive breasts. “Fine, I stole it! I put it over my shoulder and walked out of the store! Is that what you want to hear? Robbie shouted in a deep masculine voice that caused a few heads to turn his way.

Agatha tutted five times, “Oh, how terrible of you. But tell me. Did you enjoy it? Did you get a little thrill down there in your knickers?”

Balling his fists in anger, Robbie sighed in frustration. In truth, the act of shoplifting had caused a rush of adrenaline to coarse through his veins. But he wasn’t about to tell Agatha that. “What’s next?” He asked, wanting to change the subject.

“Oh, when did you become such an eager beaver?” Agatha said before chuckling. “Well, if you’re so keen to get going, let me grant your wish, little princess. Next, we continue shopping. I know how much girls like you love shopping.”

“You mean more stealing?” Robbie moaned.

“I guess I do,” Agatha cheerfully replied. “After all, It seems to come very naturally to you.” She added, leaving Robbie speechless.

“Anyhow, let’s hop to it, shall we?” she added, breaking the silence. “First stop Poundland. Where I hear, everything isn't a pound these days. Crazy, right?”

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Two hours later, An exhausted Robbie stood in a clothing store changing room, surrounded by discarded clothes and shoes. Next to him, hanging from a hook on the wall, was the pilfered handbag from earlier. No longer empty, it now contained an assortment of stolen paraphernalia. Which included a pack of hair bands, a pair of hoop earrings, a roller to remove fluff from clothing, and a pair of kitchen scissors.

Holding up his phone, making sure his head was out of the frame, Robbie snapped a picture of the tight body-hugging garment he had just struggled to zip up. Looking down at the patterned peplum dress on the screen, he shook his head, finding it hard to believe that it was his curvaceous body it was encasing.

(See image 24)

Pressing send, he watched as the embarrassing picture made its way through cyberspace to Agatha.

There was then a moment of pause before she spoke down his ear. “Warmer. I like the style more than the others, but you’re still cold.”

Sighing loudly, Robbie placed the palms of his hands to his forehead. Having played along with the hot/cold dress-up game for the last hour, he was now thoroughly fed up. Gathering up the assortment of discarded clothing into a pile, Robbie mentally prepared himself for another trip out onto the shop floor. There he would pick out ten new items of clothing (which he had discovered was the maximum number allowed in the changing rooms at one time) before bringing them back to try on, only for Agatha to tell him they were all wrong.

“Come on, at least, give me a clue,” Robbie moaned, “I’ve tried on so many different combinations, I’ve lost count.”

“A clue! Agatha chimed out in a jolly tone. “I tell you what. If you tell me how much you love being my life-size Barbie doll and beg me to make you look even prettier, I’ll give you your clue.”

“You can’t be serious?” Robbie stated in a toneless voice while shaking his head.

“You’re the one who wants a clue,” Agatha shot back cheerfully. “I’m happy to continue the game. I’m sure you’ll get there eventually.”

Feeling the piercing pain behind his made-up eyes and remembering the disapproving gaze from the woman outside the changing room each time he reappeared with another armful of clothes, Robbie slumped his tired body down onto the bench. “Fine, I love being your Barbie doll. And I can’t wait for you to make me even prettier.” He announced in a high mocking voice.

Agatha giggled. “Aww, really? That’s so sweet. Well, if that’s what your sissy heart desires, I’ll try my best to make your wish come true.”

“Whatever! Can you just give me that clue already?” Robbie said while shaking his head and scowling.

“Sure thing, Dolly. What colour are your nails? Agatha announced.

“Blue,” Robbie answered while looking down at his disturbingly shiny digits.

“Exactly, now find me a cute matching dress and shoes,” Agatha said before chuckling again.

“And when I find them. Then what?” Robbie questioned, almost at the point of quitting the challenge.

“Then, you cut off the security tags with the scissors you stole earlier before walking out of the store all confident in your pretty new outfit. You’re done shopping after that, so you can go and show your friend the Samaritan your haul.”

“Great,” Robbie muttered as he slumped further back against the wall. "Just great."