Lockdown! 06

Chapter 6

“Dude, I can’t believe we actually just pulled that off!” Kamsi yelled giving Paul a high five as they exited the office building.

“I know man,” Paul replied with a huge grin on his face. “It must be them girly legs of yours, Mrs. Morris couldn’t keep her eyes off them,” he added with a chuckle.

“Hey, that’s uncalled for bro, you know how sensitive I am about my legs. No matter how much I work out I just can’t seem to gain any definition,” Kamsi answered with a pained expression on his face. “But was she really looking? I mean she’s not really my usual type but after being cooped up for so long, beggars can’t be choosers.”

“Uhm, girls,” Tim announced, trying to get his friends’ attention.

“For sure man,” Paul said laughing. “She’s practically gagging for it.”

“Psst, shut up,” Tim announced loudly but in a hushed voice, stepping towards his two crossdressed friends.

Looking around, the expression on Paul and Kamsi’s faces quickly changed as they came face to face with an old lady. She had stopped a few meters away and looked at the three men with a look of disgust written all over her face.

The woman curled her lip and shook her head but just as she was about to give the three men a piece of her mind, Tim stepped towards his two friends and linked arms. “Come on girls, let’s go,” he announced as he glanced at the woman. “Sorry about these two, they’re just quoting lines from this movie we watched the other day.”

The Woman still looking confused and disturbed by the sight in front of her continued to shake her head as the three men quickly stumbled and tripped away towards Paul’s car on their unfamiliar footwear.

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“Oh come on T-dog, lighten up we’re home now,” Paul cheerfully announced as the three men approached their apartment door.

“Lighten up!” Tim announced annoyed. “My feet hurt, I feel ridiculous, and not to mention we’ve all just committed fraud!”

“But you’ve got to admit the look on that old woman’s face was priceless,” Kamsi chirped in, chuckling as he spoke.

“Man, she’s going to have one hell of a story to tell over dinner tonight,” Paul replied, laughing along.

“Can we just get inside already,” Tim whined. “I just want to get out of these clothes and forget this day ever happened. Do you have the keys or not?”

“Alright already, chill out. They’re down here somewhere,” Paul answered, rummaging around in the bottom of his borrowed handbag. “You’re really starting to sound the part of a nagging woman now.”

“Yeah, I can see that,” Kamsi added as Paul finally fished out his keys and rattled around in the lock. “You remind me of a Vietnamese girl I once slept with. She was a right ball buster too, but you might actually be a little prettier.”

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From her position on the sofa, Veronica could hear the muffled voices of her unwanted house guests on the other side of the door and mentally prepared herself for their arrival.

Having spent the best part of the last year with her sister, part of her was glad to be back. As much as she loved spending time with Anna and the kids, being forced to be there had started to feel like a jail sentence. Then again, as she heard the click of the lock and the laughing idiots on the other side enter, she was already regretting her decision to return.

Taking a deep breath, Veronica closed her eyes for a second before turning to face the boys only for her mouth to fall open in disbelief.

In stepped Paul sniggering, his head facing backwards looking at Kamsi who was laughing along with him. There was a loud clacking sound as high-heeled shoes, her high-heeled shoes, clattered clumsily across the hardwood kitchen floor.

Tim was the last one in, his head bent down and shaking from side to side. But as he lifted it, he was the first to spot Veronica’s bemused face staring at him from the living room sofa. His face went pale as if he’d seen a ghost and noticing the look of fear on their friends’ face, Paul and Kamsi turned to see what had spooked him so much.

There was a moment of silence. The boys standing bolt upright like statues looked on in horror as Veronica stared back at them, everyone looking just as perplexed as the other.

“Ronny, you’re back,” Paul announced, cringing. “This isn’t what it looks like, I can explain.”

Half wanting to scream and him, and half wanting to burst into a fit of laughter, Veronica lifted herself to her feet. “Oh this is going be good,” she announced as she folded her arms in disgust. “Are those my clothes? What the fuck, Paul? Are you gay? What kind of perverted shit have you guys been up to while I’ve been gone?”

Seeing Paul lost for words for once, Kamsi stepped in. “Ronny, it’s not like that, really,” he declared, clip-clopping across the room towards her as Paul and Tim followed. “It’s like a disguise, so we weren’t kicked out of the house.”

“Disguise? Kicked out? What have you three morons gone and done now?” Veronica screamed. “Explain yourselves!”

(See image 07)

After interrogating the three miserable-looking men for the next 20 minutes, Veronica finally understood enough to make some sense of the situation, not that it made her feel any better about the situation.

“So, what now Einstein?” Veronica asked, staring Paul in the eyes. “What happens when that woman comes calling again? When you don’t contact her with your ID?”

A downbeat Paul breathed a heavy sigh. “I don’t know, It was the only thing we could come up with on such short notice. I mean, If you had bothered to pick up your phone perhaps it wouldn’t have come to this.”

“Oh, you’re going to go there?” Veronica roared in a fit of rage. “So, this is my fault, is it? Because perfect Paul is never to blame. It’s always me, right? Evil Veronica, always out to get you and screw up your perfect little life.”

Taking a step backwards, Kamsi and Tim lowered their heads. “Ronny, please, I didn’t mean it like that, honest,” Paul replied, screwing up his eyes. “I… just… I… look. I’m sorry, ok.”

“No, it’s not ok,” Veronica answered in a slightly calmer voice. “What are you going to do to fix this?”

“I’m working on it, ok?” Paul answered, his lips forming a little smile in an attempt to try and calm his ex. “we’re good for now. I’ll think of something.”

“Some other idiotic plan no doubt, one that’ll end with me losing my apartment,” Veronica shot back. “No, this time I’ll make the plan, and you three are going to do what I say, like it or not!”

Seeing the glint in her eye and the sadistic smile that had appeared on Veronica’s painted red lips, Paul suddenly began to worry. “Woah, let’s not get too hasty now. I’ll sort it out, I promise,” he exclaimed as a bead of sweat appeared from beneath the seam of the hot mass of fake hair atop his head before trickling down his forehead.

“Too late for your promises, sweetheart. We all know they're meaningless,” Veronica replied in a measured, calm voice. “From now on. I make the rules. And if you don’t like it, you can explain your little adventure today to all your friends and family, not to mention the police!”