Made in Taiwan 17

Day 76 continued

That evening after letting the dust settle, Simona and I sat down to discuss our situation. After getting comfortable on the sofa, we both sat there in silence for a few minutes, neither wanting to begin.

Eventually, Simona turned to look me up and down, shaking her head.

“This isn’t my fault”, I stated, feeling very frustrated. “You’re the one who organized everything with Lin”.

Simona sighed loudly. “Yes, but, I didn’t tell her to do your hair and use fillers on your face. When I text her earlier to see what the hell had happened. She said you agreed to it all”!

“Are you serious!” I screamed, “I hardly understood a word she was saying. My Chinese isn’t exactly fluent, you know? That’s what got us into this mess in the first place”.

“Fuck! I knew I shouldn’t have tried to help”, Simona said angrily, stamping her foot.

I bowed my head and looked down at my smooth legs poking out from the little pair of shorts I’d put on to feel more comfortable. “So, why did you”? I asked, turning to dace her. “Why keep trying to dress me up like a woman”?

It was Simona’s turn to go quiet for a moment before. She looked like she was lost in thought before her lip curled a little in the corner. “It was fun”, she stated, “and you know… It’… It’s kind of a turn on for me”, she added before turning away, looking a little embarrassed.

“What, crossdressing”? I announced, surprised.

“Yes. I’ve always liked the idea of making a boy look like a girl, and with you looking like me it was even more of a turn on”, she answered before taking a deep breath. “But now, everything is fucked”.

“We have to come clean, tell the university the truth”, I said assertively.

“No”! she shouted back, “we can’t do that”!

“But I can’t live like this, Simona”, I moaned. “Do you know how nerve-racking it was going in there today as you”?

Startling me, Simona suddenly shouted out. “I won't go back there, I’d rather die”.

I remember looking over at her and seeing, for the first time since I'd know her, fear in her eyes. “Back where”? I asked. A topic I’d approached multiple times but always finding Simona reluctant to open up.

Taking a deep breath, she looked over in my direction, her eyes wide and her whole body shaking. “What’s the worst thing that has ever happened to you, GG? She announced, not expecting an answer.

"Is it as bad as watching the town where you grew up drenched in the blood of your family and neighbours as everybody you ever loved is torn to pieces by AK47’s? My family, my friends, my country, they’re all gone now. The only thing waiting for me back there is a bullet”!

Stunned by what she had just said, I just sat there quietly as she shook violently beside me.

“You once asked how many times I had taken the Chinese course? Well the answer is six, six times! And as long as I fail by less than 5% each time. I can keep my visa and stay here”.

I didn't respond, I didn't know what to say. We just sat there together like statues until I eventually looked over to see her looking a little calmer. “Simona", I said, taking her hand, "I can’t imagine what you’ve been through, and I’m so, so sorry, but what the hell are we going to do”?

“We carry on as each other, it’s the only way”, She stated assertively.

“We can’t! I can’t live your life! People will know I’m not you”. I replied flustered, "It'll never work".

“We’ll practice, we have a few days, I reckon before I need to go into class. As you know, attendance is not a top priority for me. I’ll train you to move and talk just like me and tell you everything you need to know”.

“And you’re what... just going to convince everyone you're me”? I replied, shaking my head.

Turning to face me, Simona huffed out a laugh. “That’s not the hard part, I was in class as you all day and nobody even batted an eyelid. The tough part is getting your Chinese to a point where you can speak to the people I converse with in Chinese, convincingly”.

“Simona, this is too much! I don’t know if I can”, I complained.

The comment must have angered her because her mood suddenly changed, “You will do this, GG, I’m not being sent back to a war zone because you're too scared to wear a dress for a few months”, she declared angrily. “Besides, have you thought about what the police would do if the university reported this. It’s fraud, you know”?

“Fraud! is it that serious? “I replied, alarmed.

“You can look it up. At a minimum, it’s a criminal record, but it more likely carries some kind of jail time", She stated confidently. "But listen, we can avoid all of that if you just man up and do what’s needed. It’s only for a few months. After that, you’ll graduate with a first-class degree, and return to England. I’ll say I’ve lost my card and ask for a new fingerprint scan”.

Even at the time, I had my doubts. I knew it was a ridiculous plan. But thinking I had no other choice, like an idiot, I nodded my head and agreed to go along with her ludicrous idea.

Day 79

With the dull drone of the city filling my ears and my heart thumping in my chest, I slowly made my way through the streets of Ximen. My legs ached from the days of practice, strutting up and down Simona’s apartment to perfect my walk but at least now I didn't feel as though I was going to fall over with every step I took.

The downright bizarre feeling of going to class dressed as I was indescribable. Somewhere between dread and distress with a dash of humiliation.

Tottering along on my six-inch wedge sandals, which for the life of me, I to this day can’t understand why Simona wore, I tried to keep my head held high. “Be confident”, Simona had said, “if people look, it’s because they are admiring you”. I tried to keep these words in mind as the people I passed looked over.

Simona also had advice for combatting the stares. "Pick a spot on their forehead and stare back", she had said before showing me how to pull a resting bitch face.

This attitude wasn’t something I was very comfortable with; I was much more accustomed to smiling at people. But, I had to hand it to her, it worked. As soon as they saw me staring back, everyone who looked my way quickly looking away.

Reaching the steps of the MRT, I sighed, knowing I was going to stand out down there in my little outfit and heels. At least I had my new bitchy attitude to shield me, to guard my true identity.

(See image 22)

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My heart was still racing as I slowly traversed the classroom steps with all eyes on me. It was something I was starting to worry about, knowing the stress couldn't be good for me. But given the absurdity of the situation, how would you feel?

With my long-nailed fingers curled tightly around the large coffee, I’d just purchased. I carefully placed down each wobbly foot, trying not to rush.

Catching Simona’s eye who was dressed as me, and sat in my usual seat, I shuddered as a strange feeling washed over me.

The first time I’d ever laid eyes on Simona was this exact scenario. Except at the time, I was the one sat on the chair looking and she was the one arriving late to disrupt the class. With the roles reversed, I felt really uncomfortable. It was just bizarre, especially seeing Miss Li’s warm smile and my doppelganger grinning at me.

Smiling back at Miss Li, I strutted across the room like a catwalk model, trying to block out the fear and the staring faces.

Clack, clack, clack! The sound of my shoes colliding with the hard floor echoed through the room.

Thud, thud, thud! Went my large hoop earrings, lightly kissing the side of my neck with each torturous step I took.

Reaching Simona’s chair, I placed my backpack against the wall, sat down in an exaggerated manner, before looking around the room pouting. It was showtime, and I planned to dial the bitchiness up to ten then pray no one saw through this farce.

(See image 23)