Made in Taiwan 13

Day 66 Continued

“Fuck! Am I that geeky girl, from that animated movie we watched”? I announced, already knowing the answer to my question.

“You sure are, Sexy”, Simona responded, striding over, and resting a pair of round, red-rimmed glasses on my nose. “Tonight, you are the bubbly and optimistic, miss Honey Lemon, so, we'll have no complaints from you, got it”? She added, pulling me to my wobbly feet. “Come and take a look”!

Mincing forward a few steps, I stopped just as Simona removed the towel she had hung over the mirror to keep my outfit a surprise.

Seeing myself for the first time, I gasped. The image in the mirror was frightening, it was me but in a way not. I mean, I looked like me but then again I also looked like a woman, the whole experience was downright bizarre.

Well, what do you think? pretty sexy, right”? Simona declared as I stood there speechless, scanning the alien reflection in the mirror. Everything, from the short yellow dress, barely reaching my upper thighs, to the tights clinging to my legs and skyscraper heels below, made me feel odd and uncomfortable. “Do I really have to wear this out”? I finally said, turning to face her.

She grinned, “what do you think”?

I sighed and turned back to the mirror. “Where’s the coat? The character in the movie was wearing a coat”?

Simona laughed, “good memory, but there’s no coat. You don’t need one, it’s like twenty-five degrees out”.

“That’s alright, I can wear it, if it, you know, makes the costume more authentic”, I shot back, hoping to at least be able to cover up a little.

“Oh, you're worried about looking authentic, I see”, Simona replied giggling. “Don’t worry, Babe, you look authentic enough, besides the costume shop didn’t have a coat”.

“Here, take one of these”, she said handing me a white pill. “It’ll mellow you out. Then we might even have some fun”, she added before swallowing a pill herself.

Pincering the pill awkwardly between two of my ridiculously long nails, I almost dropped it. Only just about managing to transfer it safely to the palm of my other hand.

Looking down at my feminine looking body and shaking my head at the thought of wearing these clothes out, I thought, “what the hell”, popping it in my mouth and swallowing.

===================================================================

Having ridden out the high, I was now coming down on the other side. Did I feel comfortable, hell no! My legs were cramping up, and my feet were throbbing, and that was just the physical pain. Mentally, I was out of my element, tottering through a crowded nightclub, clutching a drink in each long-nailed hand.

The music blared out, giving me a headache as I scanned the room for my partner in crime, Baymax. No longer in the spot, where I’d left her before going over to the bar to fetch us some more drinks, I suddenly felt very alone.

“Hey, Simona, I thought that was you, long time no see”, A voice from behind announced, as two hands grabbed me around the waist and a pair of lips pressed against my cheek and the corner of my lips.

Freaked out, I span around quickly, spilling most of my drinks over the tall man dressed as some sort of zombie. “Woah, careful, girl”, the man shouted loudly. "But I guess, you're not the first woman to throw a drink over me in a club, and you probably won't be the last”, he added, chuckling at his own joke.

Not knowing what to do, I just stared at the man blankly. “Simona, are you ok? It’s me, Rob! Dam, girl how much have you had to drink tonight”?

“She doesn’t recognise you because she’s never met you before, Rob, “The real Simona announced, joining our conversation. “Is this mine”? she added, turning to me, and taking the half-empty glass from my hand and taking a sip.

Rob stood there with his mouth hanging open before, his eyes darting back and forth between the two of us. finally, he turned to me and smiled. “I’m so, sorry, I thought you were… I mean, you look…”.

“This is GG, my cousin. She’s visiting me for a little while! Simona said, stepping in.

“Cousin! Really! You two could be twins”, Rob stated. “But hey, sorry for startling you, GG, I don't normally go around grabbing strangers, promise”.

Looking up at the apologetic vampire, I smirked, “It’s ok, I guess, no harm was done”, I said while accepting the man's outstretched hand. Never feeling more emasculated in my life, than awkwardly shaking the larger man's hand with my long acrylic nails getting in the way.

“Let me get you two another drink to make up for the ones I just spilt”, Rob shouted out over the beat of the music as he released my hand.

Wanting to get away from him, I was about to say no when Simona got in first. “Sure thanks, Rob, two double G and T’s, with lemon”, she announced, downing what remained of the drink I’d just bought her, handing him the glass.

With Rob out of earshot and on the way to the bar, I turned to Simona. “Cousin, why did you say that”?

She chuckled, “I don’t know, It just popped into my head. Would you rather explain to him that the girl he just kissed is really a guy”?

“It wasn’t like that”, I said, slightly annoyed, “he kissed me and only because he thought I was you”. Who is he anyway”?

“Oh, just some guy who has a crush on me”, Simona said stepping forward and putting her arms around my waist. “He did me a favour a while back and now expects me to like date him or something. But, don’t worry, Miss Lemon, you’re the only person I’m interested in tonight”.

“That’s good to know”, I replied, placing my own arms around her. “Do you think if he comes back and sees you making out with your cousin, it’ll frighten him off”? I added, moving my face closer towards hers.

Simona smiled, “I like how you think, you naughty girl, only one way to find out, I guess"!

===================================================================

“Hey, stop here for a minute”, Simona suddenly announced as we stumbled down the Taipei streets looking for a taxi. It was late, and it had been raining, but we were both feeling giddy in our intoxicated state.

“What”? I replied, almost falling as she let go of my waist.

“This is the spot! The ultimate photo spot”! She replied, fishing around in her handbag, trying to find her phone.

Becoming aware of my surroundings, I looked up and had to admit, the view of Taipei 101 from here was pretty epic.

“Give me a pose, Honey”, Simona shrieked out, lifting her phone, and pointing it at me.

Turning on my wet numb feet, I arched my back and placed two fingers in the air as Simona snapped a few pictures. Capturing the moment forever, A snapshot in the history of the universe, one of me struggling to stand on the streets of Taipei city, drunk and high, crossdressed as Honey Lemon.

(See image 15)

Day 67

“You want to go out and get some breakfast”, Simona asked as I struggled to get out of bed, my head pounding.

Holding up my hands to show her my nails, I shook my head. “Not with these claws, I’m too hungover to deal with people staring at me, right now. And I definitely can’t face sitting through a makeup session either”.

“Fair enough, you were a good sport last night. I’ll go out and get us something”, She said, hugging me. “Did you have fun, last night”?

I thought for a moment and didn’t know how to answer. I did but not because of the way I was dressed. “It was ok”, I replied nonchalantly.

“Ha! Oh really, just ok”? Simona replied, slapping me lightly on the shoulder, “So why did I have to practically drag you away from dancing with Rob just before we left”.

“What”! I exclaimed loudly. “No way, you can’t spin it like that! You were the one dancing with him, I just joined in. Besides, I was really out of it”.

“Yeah, sure you were, you little diva”, she replied playfully, giving me a kiss, “sure you were”.

Feeling a bit uncomfortable thinking back to the end of the night, I changed the subject. “So, can I get these nails off later, then we can get down to studying for the test”.

“We can start studying, but why don’t you keep the nails for a while. I kind of like them”.

“What! keep them? But they’re ridiculous, I can’t even use my hands”, I replied, flabbergasted.

“Just until the end of the week", She answered, snuggling up to me. "Just stay here for the week. You’re neighbour friend is away, right? You can think of them as an incentive to stay in and study more”.

“Well, when you put it that way, I guess I’ll be less likely to want to venture out”, I answered, looking down and twirling my dangerous-looking hands.

Day 71

“I officially give up. This is useless, Simona! I’m going to fail”, I announced, dramatically throwing my pen down onto the table, defeated.

“Hmmm, it doesn’t look good, not with the test in four days”.

“I know, don’t remind me”, I said with a heavy sigh. “No matter how much I practice, I just keep mixing up all these Chinese characters. What am I going to do”?

Reaching over, Simona took my hands, twiddling her own long nails amongst mine. I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this, but we’ve got no choice. If you're going to get a passing grade and stay in the country, I’ll have to sit it for you”!

“What! I shouted, looking at her like she was crazy. “There’s no way that would work. This isn’t a movie, you know? This is real life”!

“It can work”, she responded with a smirk, “It just needs some prep work”.

“Ok, I’ll play along”, I replied sarcastically from across the table, thinking she had lost her mind. “How will you take your own test if you’re sitting mine”?

“On Monday, I’ll just call in sick”, she shot back confidently. “I’ll take my assessment later in the week”.

“Ok, but you don’t look like me, people will know it’s you, especially if you ace the test”.

“I won’t ace it, I’ll just do enough for you to pass. And come on, GG, if you can look like me, then I can look like you”.

“But… you… I…”, for a moment I didn’t know what to say as I let comment settled in. I had never really thought about it that way before. But, If people could mistake me for Simona, then perhaps people could also mistake her for me. “But what happens when you talk”?

“I won’t”, she shot back, “assessment day is always in and out. All I have to do is register in the morning, find a quiet spot to sit for an hour or so, take the test and leave, easy”.

With no further questions, I sat back in my chair, shaking my head. “Wow, you really thought this through, but do you really think it will work”? I replied exhaling. “I mean do you honestly think you can make yourself look like me and pull this off”?

Looking on, I saw her grin and nod her head. “Leave it to me, GG, I can make this work, trust me".