Made in Taiwan 06

Day 31

Slowly opening my eyes, I didn’t recognise my surroundings. The bright morning light was streaming through a gap in an unfamiliar pair of curtains and I could feel the presence of someone next to me, breathing lightly on my neck.

Turning over to get some relief from the blinding light and to see who I was with, I felt pain and discomfort all over my body but especially my head, which felt as though someone was trying to hammer their way out.

Suddenly a flood of memories came rushing back to me, the date with Simona in Ximen, the drinking, the amazing sex, and the mysterious pill.

As the silhouette of the person sleeping beside me slowly came into focus, I gasped so loud I must have woken her up. She opened her eyes and looked at me oddly.

“Your hair”! I gasped once more, “it’s gone”!

Simona smiled, propping herself up onto one elbow and scratched the top of her shaved head, “yeah, I chopped it all off for cancer research about a month ago, I raised quite a bit of money, besides, wigs are much more fun anyway”.

With my mouth wide open, I just stared at her, not knowing what to say, what could I say? It wasn't as though she looked ugly or anything, I was just surprised, but I guess it did explain all the different hairstyles and colours she was always sporting.

Ignoring the ridiculous face, I was pulling, Simona asked if I wanted a coffee. I nodded my head to indicate I did before she trotted off to the kitchen to put the kettle on.

Adjusting my body into a sitting position, I discovered I was completely naked as even more of the previous evenings’ events came back to me. I couldn’t remember how I’d made it into the bed, I now found myself in, but I did remember the hours of pleasure out on the balcony beforehand. The mysterious pill had somehow made me the world’s best lover, not only had it relaxed me to the point where animal instinct had kicked in, but it had also made me rock hard all night long. No matter how many times we had done it, my little soldier was instantly ready and prepared to go again.

After a few moments, Simona returned with the two cups of coffee. I thanked her, consciously trying not to stare at her short haircut, and took a sip. The bitter coffee taste was a welcome one as I again felt my head pounding, knowing it was going to be a rough start to the day after two days of straight binge drinking.

“Well, last night was fun and all but once you’ve drunk that, you’ll need to get dressed and leave, I have a lunch date with a girlfriend”, Simona suddenly announced while sitting down to join me on the bed.

I nodded but with the memory of our epic lovemaking session still fresh on my mind, I was feeling bold and asked if she wanted to meet up again sometime.

She smirked before looking away, “maybe”, was the reply, “I’m going to make you work for it though”.

I reached over and placed my hand on her bare thigh, “your wish is my command”, I replied while stroking up towards the top of her leg.

“Interesting”, she replied with a wry smile on her face, “I’ll remember that”.

She then moved her hand down and removed mine from her leg, “there’s no time for this now", she said playfully, "I told you, I have to go out, if you want a shower, go now, it might wake you up a bit”.

As soon as she mentioned it, it seemed like the best idea in the world, it was just what I needed to clear the cobwebs away. After asking her to join me and getting rejected for a second time in under a minute, I wandered off in the direction that she pointed, realising that my wobbly legs were just as sore as the rest of my body.

The shower helped but re-entering her bedroom with a fluffy pink towel wrapped around my waist, I suddenly realized I had no idea where my clothes were. Seeing the odd expression on my face, Simona asked what was wrong. I told her and she said to check the balcony.

It made sense, where else would they be. Walking towards the door that led out onto the balcony, I couldn’t help but smile remembering the pure pleasure I had experienced out there just a few hours earlier.

However, as I slid back the curtain, my carefree smile vanished in an instant as a look of absolute horror appeared across my face. The previously pristine-looking balcony now looked more like a warzone. The plants and trees had been ripped from the ground as bits of random wood and metal lay strewn across the area.

I brought my hand up to my forehead and shouted, “what the fuck”! Simona seeing my reaction jumped up to see what was going on, “oh my god”, she shrieked, “my garden”.

“Fuck your garden, what about my clothes”? I replied loudly.

She didn’t like my reaction and pulled an angry-looking face that let me know.

Slowly, I opened the door to see the aftermath of the typhoon first-hand, not quite believing I had slept through it, those pills had really done a number on me.

Rushing about as Simona just stood in the doorway in shock, I moved a few branches and bits of wood, hoping that my shorts would be underneath. My luck wasn’t in as it soon became apparent, they were long gone along with the contents of my pockets, my wallet, phone, and apartment keys.

Turning back to Simona, I asked her why she hadn’t brought my clothes back inside. She again seemed annoyed snapping at me, saying that she wasn’t my mother before asking why I hadn’t brought them in.

Seeing how annoyed she looked I apologised and walked over to give her a hug. She shrugged me off and walked back inside.

I followed her inside went over to the bed, where I sat for the next few minutes with my head in my hands, feeling completely lost, trying to think of a way to get home.

Looking up at Simona who didn’t look quite as angry anymore, I asked a stupid question, her answer wasn’t surprising but was still devastating to hear, “why would I have any men’s clothes here”? She replied pulling a face.

Suddenly an idea hit me, “can you go out and buy me a pair of shorts and a T-shirt”? I asked hopefully, “I’ll pay you back”.

She thought about the question for a minute before walking over to join me on the bed, “no can do, I’m afraid”, she replied, “for one, I can’t be late for my meeting and secondly, do you really think any shops will be open today? You’ve seen it out there”.

“Well, what am I going to do then”? I moaned.

She smiled and looked at me with a glint in her eye like she had just had an idea, “just borrow some of my clothes”, she said, like it was a completely normal suggestion.

I looked at her like she was crazy, “I can’t do that”, I stated, “I’ll look ridiculous”.

“Maybe”, she replied with a smile, “but what other choice do you have, I doubt you’ll make it far without getting arrested walking home with no clothes on, you’ll probably make the evening news”. I knew she was right, I couldn’t leave naked, I needed to cover myself up somehow.

After a few minutes of deep thought, thinking through any and all alternatives, I turned to her and said, “ok but will you help me”?

She seemed more excited by my reply than I had expected, jumping to her feet before disappearing through a large door, I had previously not noticed.

She wasn’t in, what I later found out to be her walk-in closet for long, returning with a pile of white garments covered in strands of black hair.

“Try these”, she said, holding out a piece of white elasticated material.

Taking the item of clothing, I unfolded it to see it was the bottom of a bikini, “I can’t wear these”, I stated firmly.

“Oh, come on, Grant”, she replied sounding slightly annoyed, “you can’t walk around Taipei with your bits pushing through the front of your skirt now can you”?

“Skirt”! I gasped, “don’t you have a pair of jeans”?

Simona looked annoyed again, “I’m trying to help here, you know, if you don’t want my help, you’re free to leave whenever you want”.

“No, I do”, I quickly replied, “I just don’t want to wear a skirt”.

“Sorry, but the only jeans I own are bright pink and like all my shorts, there is no way they’ll fit you”, she said having calmed down, “so are you going to try what I brought you, or take your chances in your birthday suit”?

Trapped between a rock and a hard place, I let her dress me without further complaint. I didn’t utter a word as she snapped the tight bikini bottoms around my waist or even when she painfully pulled my manhood back between my legs to make me look flat in the front. I even stayed quiet as she slipped a thin white top over my head and lifted a long flowing skirt up my legs.

Before helping me to my feet, she took the long black wig, that she had brought out earlier and plonked it on my head.

“There, hmm… not too bad, I guess”, Simona said, sounding unconvinced, standing behind me as I stared in horror at my reflection in the mirror.

I had no words, I looked ridiculous. No one was going to mistake me for a woman. From my bulky shape, stubble covered face, caterpillar eyebrows, and hairy hobbit feet sticking out from the bottom of my skirt, I was obviously a man in women’s clothes.

Simona seeing my look of horror led me back to the bed, where she sat me down. “Let’s see if we can tweak your look a little”, she said before rushing off to the bathroom.

She returned a few moments later with a bowl of water, some shaving foam, and her pink lady shave razor. I asked her what she was going to do, and she rolled her eyes, “shave that fuzz off your face, duh, what do you think”.

I let her work and five minutes later, I once again had a smooth face. The beard I'd been trying to grow for the past few weeks was now long gone, along with it the edges of my eyebrows that I'd let her start tidying, before stopping her, worried she was going to shave too much.

Taking the bottle of shaving foam once more, she placed another dollop on her hand and moved towards my ankle, “woah, no not my legs”, I stated loudly pulling back. The thought of walking around with girly looking legs scared me, I'd have no way to cover them later, Taiwan was way too hot to wear jeans this time of year.

“I was only going to do your ankles where the hair shows”, Simona replied amused, “but suit yourself”, she added before washing the shaving foam off her hand and moving the bowl of water to one side. Telling me that she needed to get ready herself, she then disappeared into the bathroom to take a shower.

I can’t remember what thoughts were going through my mind as I sat there waiting for what seemed like a lifetime as she washed, dressed and did her makeup, but one thing I know, I felt terrified.

When she was finally done and back to looking like her glamourous self, she walked over and dropped a pair of glittery pink slip-on shoes by my feet, “now before you complain, these are the only flat shoes I own, I sometimes wear them around the house, but you can have them”.

“Thanks”, I mumbled before slipping my feet into the girly looking shoes, which were flat as she said but also sported a platform sole that lifted them at least two inches off the ground.

Choosing to ignore my sarcastic response, Simona produced a handbag and opened it up, “here, I’ve put a few things inside that you’ll need”, she said before showing me an mrt card(metro card), “this still has a few dollars on it and will get you home”.

I nodded and she produced the next item, “this is my old phone, I don’t use it anymore, I’ve stored my number in it so you can call me if you get into any trouble”.

For the first time since I'd opened the curtains to see the destruction outside, I smiled, “thank you”, I said, sincerely, “I thought you couldn’t wait to get rid of me”.

She pulled a face before leaning down and surprising me with a kiss on the lips, “of course not, silly, I may have been a bit grumpy earlier, but I think it’s really cool that you're willing to dress like this. I mean, who says a man can’t wear a skirt, I just hate all these preconceived bullshit stereotypes we all have to conform to, besides, that’s one of my favourite handbags, and I want it back”.

I smiled again and got to my feet as she told me it was time to leave. Shuffling my way to the door, I was a nervous wreck as every bone in my body and fibre of my being was telling me not to step outside. Passing a mirror by the door, I caught a glimpse of my reflection once again, suddenly noticing my lips shining, probably due to when Simona kissed me a moment ago.

I went to rub it off with the back of my hand, but she stopped me, “wait”, she said delving into her handbag, “it will help you blend in”.

I didn’t resist as I watched her unscrew the top of a long tube, or as she revealed an odd-looking brush and carefully coated my lips the same shiny colour as hers.

The sticky feeling now coating my lips felt strange especially when they started to tingle. I mentioned the feeling to Simona, and she laughed it off, saying it was a lip plumper and that the tingling would stop in few moments.

With no fight left in me, I let her place a pair of her pink sunglasses on my face and drag me out the door.

The click of the lock as the main building door closed behind us, after carefully traversing the stairs on my unfamiliar footwear, was perhaps to this day, one of the most terrifying sounds I’d ever heard. I was now outside in Taipei city crossdressed and with a long trip home ahead of me.

We shuffled through the alleyways towards the mrt station, well I was shuffling, Simona was gliding along on a pair of high wedge sandals. Looking around at the debris left behind by the typhoon, I was shocked by the destruction, taking my mind of the way I was dressed at least for a moment. That is until we reached the mrt station.

Heading in different directions, Simona said goodbye and just like that I was alone, and unlike the streets which had been deserted, I was now surrounded by people staring at me.

I quickly got moving, trying to tell myself they were just looking because I was a foreigner and not because I was some freak dressed in women's clothing. Whatever the reason, I received many more stares as I waited for and boarded the train before plodding slowly through the carriages trying to find a place to hide away from the prying eyes.

(See image 06)

The humbling and ego-crushing trip home will be one I’ll never forget, the only saving grace was finding the spare key where Mr Wang had shown me. On top of everything else, I had worried all the way back, that it might have blown away in the typhoon, leaving me to make the impossible decision of buzzing either Mr Wang or Jerome to let me in. Luckily, I never had to make that choice, not that it made the whole experience any less humiliating.