The cold war 30

Chapter 5 – No escape

For two days Ben hardly left his room, moping about and feeling sorry for himself. He knew something was wrong with Jake but after being told to his face to get lost and his phone going straight to the answering service every time he tried calling, he didn’t know what else he could do.

Irina as per usual was trying her best to snap him out of his depression. At first, she had given him some space, checking in on him a few times a day, to see if he needed anything and to make sure he was ok, but she soon tired of this and went for a change of tact.

On the third day, she’d had enough. It was just past ten-thirty in the morning when she marched into Ben’s room, threw back the curtains and opened the window wide, letting the cold morning air rush in.

Looking over at the bed, he hadn’t moved. Shaking her head she stormed across the room, grabbed a hold of the duvet cover, and threw it clean off and onto the bedroom floor.

A shocked Ben look up, “Hey, what are you doing? He whined, “and why did you open the window? it’s cold”.

“Time to get up sleeping beauty, you’ve wallowed here feeling sorry for yourself long enough”, Irina replied, “and as for the window, this room needs some fresh air, it stinks in here”.

“Ok, fine, I’ll get up, just give me ten more minutes”, Ben said curling his legs up to his midsection, “can I have my blanket back”?

“No, you’re going to get up, and you’re going straight in that shower, smelly girl”, Irina announced forcefully, “either you go by yourself or I’m carrying you”.

Seeing the serious look on her face Ben sighed, “ok… ok.. fine, I’m going”, he said swinging his legs over the side of the bed, “you know, you can be quite scary sometimes”.

Irina smiled, “It’s called tough love, now scoot", she said pointing towards the bathroom, "oh and shave those legs while you’re in there, you could strike a match on them”.

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Two weeks later

Ben was sat in the office bored and waiting to go leave. Having still not heard from Jake, recently he'd tried to push the thought of him to the back of his mind. After all what else could he do and if Jake needed his help all he had to do was ask.

Over the last few days, another thought had been creeping into his head, one he didn't want to be true, but as more and more time passed, the thought started to sound more and more believable.

Perhaps Irina had been right all along, perhaps Jake had just freaked out after thinking about what they had actually done that day in his house. After all, it was possible, as even though Ben was now dressing and living as a woman, under the skirts and the makeup, he was still a man, perhaps Jake couldn't handle it.

These thoughts left Ben more confused than ever and sitting for hours on the office sofa while Irina worked, had given him plenty of time to contemplate things. The problem was, no matter how long he spent thinking about his future, he just couldn't decide what he really wanted.

Part of him wanted nothing more than to continue living as Bunny. Everything about his life since he had started dressing and living as a woman was more fun and exciting. He was closer to Irina and Elena than he had ever been, and after getting used to people treating him differently, he had to admit, he preferred it, he was even comfortable wearing women’s clothes and actually enjoyed the variety and freedom when choosing outfits to wear.

The problem was the other part of him, the part that was terrified of what it meant if he decided to go down the road to becoming Bunny permanently. He had done a little research on what it would entail to change genders, and it all seemed so overwhelming, the doctors' appointment, hormones, surgery, he wasn’t sure if he could do it.

Looking over at Irina behind her desk, he watched her work for a moment and smiled. She was busy typing but seemed so content, it must be nice not to have to think about who or what you are all the time, he thought to himself, and imagined how nice it would be to just be yourself and have everyone just accept you for it.

“Why are you staring at me”? Irina asked looking up with a puzzled look on her face.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t realise I was”, Ben said apologetically.

Irina smiled, “It’s ok, you don’t need to apologise, “Is everything ok”?

Ben nodded slowly, “yeah, everything’s fine, I’ve just been thinking a lot about something recently”.

Irina sat up straight in her chair but didn’t say a word, she just sat there waiting to hear what Ben had to say.

“Well…you see…the thing is… I…”, before he could finish, he was interrupted by his phone ringing out from the table in front of him.

Looking down his eyes widened as he saw the caller ID, it was Jake. Leaning forward Ben quickly picked up the phone and before he had time to talk himself out of answering he pressed his long-nailed finger against the answer button, “hello”, he spoke quietly.

“Bunny,”, the voice replied, no louder than a whisper, "I need help".

“Jake? Is that you, I can hardly hear you, you sound different, are you ok”? Ben replied.

“Yes… I mean no, listen, I don't have long, when we last spoke, you asked me about Danila. I’m so sorry, Bunny, but I lied to you, I didn’t mean to, I just didn't know what else to do, I was trying to protect you and your family”.

“Jake, what are you talking about? what’s happened? You're scaring me", Ben said frantically.

“I can’t explain now, please, you have to help me, I don’t know what to do”, Jake whispered, “I thought I could handle it at first, but now things have gotten way out of hand, he’s even got me living in one of his apartments, I’m not allowed to leave unless it’s with him or one of his goons”.

“Jake, where are you? we’ll come and get you”? Ben said, his voice still panicked.

“It’s a tall building on the corner of Columbus Avenue and 90th, but you can’t come here it's not safe, just call the police”, Jake replied hastily, “hang on I think I hear him, Bunny, I’ve got to go, I’m sorry”.

“Jake…Jake”, Ben cried out as the line went dead.

Irina who had watched from across the room, looked on as Ben dropped his hands to his lap and just stared blankly into space, “Bunny”, she announced standing up, “what’s going on? what's happened”?

(See image 5.1)