The cold war 25

Wednesday afternoon in the office.

“So, where is he taking you tonight”? Irina asked Ben as she was unpacking the salads they were about to eat for lunch.

“I’m still not sure”, Ben replied, taking a salad from Irina between his long red nailed fingers before looking down at the low-calorie meal.

“What, you didn’t ask”? Irina said sounding surprised, “why didn’t you ask”?

“Well… I… ahh”, Ben sighed turning away.

Seeing Ben visibly upset, Irina pushed the takeaway bag to one side and reached over to gently rub his back, “Bunny, what’s wrong? Has something happened”?

Ben sighed once more before turning back to face her, a small tear forming in the corner of one of his heavily made-up eyes, “no nothing’s happened, and that’s the problem, we’ve hardly spoken since Sunday".

"Bunny, you should have told me", Irina replied, "I had no idea".

"I know, I'm sorry, Reeny, I thought I'd sound silly, like I was overreacting, so I kept it to myself", Ben said in a sad voice, and at first I thought maybe he was just a bit shook up after what happened that day, but now I think it might be something else”.

“Like what”? Irina asked moving her hand up from his back to stroke through his long silky hair.

“Well, at first he was ignoring my calls, and then when I did manage to speak to him, he didn’t seem himself, he seemed kind of despondent and distant, do you think he regrets what happened between us”?

“What? No way”, Irina quickly shot back, “Jake is crazy about you a blind person could see that, and if that was the case, he would have cancelled your date tonight, don't you think"?

“Then, what could it be? I don't know what to do” Ben answered, his plump lips pushed together into a sad duck face.

Irina smiled, “just talk to him”, she announced, “when you meet up later, ask him what’s going on and just listen to what he has to say, men love it when you listen to their problems”.

“I don’t think I want to go anymore” Ben answered glumly, “I’m going to text and cancel, say I don’t feel well”.

“Oh, come on, now you’re just being silly, you need to talk to him” Irina replied pulling a face, “besides, don’t think I haven’t noticed that you wore that new skirt today, the one you said made your bum look sexy, and you didn’t choose those heels for their practicality now did you”?

“Ben looked over and smiled, “well, I wanted to look nice”, he replied, “you don’t think I look too slutty, do you”?

Irina chuckled, “you look gorgeous, little sis, that boy doesn’t know how lucky he is”, she said reaching over to grab a pair of sporks from the discarded paper bag to her right, “now, enough worrying, let’s eat”.

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Later that evening, after a rather awkward dinner, where maintaining a conversation was more of a chore than an enjoyable experience, Jake and Ben walked through the streets of New York in silence as they approached Ben’s apartment building.

It was a blustery but not overly cold evening, as Ben felt the wind circle around his pantyhose covered legs, while his top half felt warm and sweaty under his designer suit jacket.

As he clicked along, it was hard not to think about anything other than his aching feet, the pain now shooting up the back of his calves after walking around in the torturous pumps all day. He felt frustrated and angry and wished he had done what he wanted to earlier and called to cancel the date.

“Well, here we are”, Jake announced in a sombre voice as they arrived outside the building, “I guess I’ll see you around”, he said before turning to leave.

Ben suddenly felt a surge of anger, he stamped his high heeled foot loudly into the ground and threw out his arms dramatically, “no, you’re not leaving, not until you tell me what’s wrong”? he shouted, “what did I do wrong? Do you regret what happened the other evening”?

Jake looked up at him with a stunned expression on his face, “what! No… no, you did nothing wrong, please don't think that, and I don’t regret what happened for one second, it was wonderful”.

“Well, tell me what’s going on then? you’ve hardly said two words to me all evening”, Ben replied looking into his eyes and pouting, “is it about the job you did for Danila the other day? You said it was easy, just delivering a package, was there more to it”?

Jake looked away, “err… no… I mean… yeah, it was easy”, he answered in a shaky voice, “it was a piece of cake, just like I said”.

“Jake, please, if something happened, you can tell me about it, perhaps I can help”, Ben replied reaching over to take his hand.

Accepting his hand Jake stepped forward, rubbing his thumb along the top of Ben's hand, “really, everything is fine, I just haven’t been sleeping much recently, and it’s making it hard to think straight, I bought these sleeping pills earlier and I'm going to try them later, I'll be fine after a good night's sleep".

Ben tilted his head to the side and looked at him sceptically, something wasn’t adding up but not wanting to push the issue he just nodded, “ok, if you say so, but you know you can tell me anything right, I’ll always be on your side”.

“Thanks, Bunny”, Jake replied as a weak smile crossed his lips, “well, I better go, I’ll see you soon, ok”? he added, leaning in to give the feminized boy a quick peck on the cheek before turning to leave.

Stood outside his apartment, motionless like a statue, Ben watched as Jake quickly scurried off down the sidewalk before turning the corner not once looking back. 

He was not sure how to process what had just happened, the horrible end to an uncomfortably awkward evening had left him feeling numb. He hadn't found the answers he had been searching for only more questions.

(See image 2.2)