People don’t take trips, trips take people - Antoine 06

“Promise me, you won’t get angry,”? Lily said trying to look innocent as Antoine felt a sinking feeling grow in his stomach, “I was talking with Mama earlier and out of the blue, she asked what time Zara’s date was arriving to pick her up, well not expecting the question, I kinda panicked and said 7.30 without thinking”.

“What? No way! You didn’t”? Antoine gasped.“Sorry, but it's ok, I’ve come up with a solution”, Lily replied.

“I'm guessing it doesn’t involve, abandoning this crazy plan and telling your mother the truth”? Antoine said looking downhearted.

“That ship has sailed, I’m afraid baby, not unless you want to see me shipped back to Avignon, but knowing Mama was expecting a man to arrive to take Zara out, I gave Pedro a call”.

“Pedro! That gay guy you work with”? Antoine said, not quite believing what he was hearing.

“He’s not gay, he’s just a little effeminate, and besides who cares about his sexuality? He’s helping us out”, Lily said looking a little offended.

“You told him about… this”? Antoine said moving his arms down in front of his body to indicate the way he was dressed.

“Of course, I had to, but don’t worry he’s cool with it, he’s a really relaxed and openminded guy”, Lily answered, taking Antoine’s hand to calm him.

“I can’t do this Lil, it’s all too much, I thought you said, I only had to do this for a few hours, now look at me! I can’t go out on a date with a man dressed like this ”.

“Shh, not so loud, Mama is only next door, she'll hear you. Listen, it will be ok, trust me, I’ll be there with you, just think of it as a night out in a costume”, Lily said taking his other hand and squeezing them between her own.

“Shit, this is crazy, Lil”, Antoine said shaking his head from side to side as he felt the unfamiliar feeling of long hair brushing against his cheeks, “where are you planning on taking me anyway”?

“Well, Pedro wasn’t keen at first, so I had to offer to buy him dinner and a few drinks after to get him to agree”.

“Oh, great, Lil, just great so what? A restaurant and then out clubbing”, Antoine moaned.

“Don’t be so sarky, will you? I didn’t know today was going to turn out like this, I’m just trying my best to keep us together, and I’m not planning on taking you to a nightclub or anything, I wouldn't do that to you, I know how uncomfortable you'd feel, I was thinking just a quiet bar, somewhere not too far from here”, Lily replied having become quite emotional and looking on the verge of tears.

Antoine suddenly felt bad, the last thing he wanted was to see Lily upset, “I’m sorry Lil, I know you didn’t plan any of this, I’ll try a little harder ok? Like you said it’s just a costume”, Antoine said forcing a smile.

“Really? No more complaining then”? she asked. “Well, I’m not promising that, but I do promise to do my best Zara impression for you, from now on”? Lily smiled and hugged him tightly, “Thank you, Antoine, I love you and don’t want to lose you”.

“I love you too, Lil”, he replied as he looked down at the entanglement of long black hair below him and felt as though the water balloons in his bra were about to pop, pushing against his chest.

30 minutes, later Lily watched as Antoine walked back and forwards across the room, sitting down and standing up, as she gave him pointers, she was just thinking how much his body language and posture had improved, when there was a knock on the front door, quickly followed by a shout, “Lily I think Zara’s date is here”, Monique's voice called out. “Ok, Mama I’ll get it”, she replied loudly, before turning to Antoine, “ok, time to go, are you ready”?

“No”, he replied, looking down once more at his unbelievable outfit and feeling like he was in a nightmare he couldn’t wake up from.

“You’ll be fine, now come on”, she replied, taking his hand and leading him out of the room to the sound of their wedge heels clicking loudly of the tiled floor.

The front door opened to reveal a smiling Spaniard in a bright red top, “Hola Lily, hola… Zara”, Pedro said, pausing slightly between his greetings as he looked Antoine up and down. “Hola, Pedro”, Lily replied as Pedro stepped forward and greeted her with a kiss on each cheek. Standing behind Lily awkwardly, Antoine didn’t know how to act, “hola, Pedro”, he muttered feeling embarrassed beyond belief. Pedro stepped forward as Antoine tensed up, terrified, knowing what was coming. With his eyes wide open, Antoine watched almost in slow motion as Pedro tilted his head up towards him and pressed his lips against Antoine's skin, kissing him on both cheeks, just like he had with Lily, moments earlier.

With the introductions over, there was then a moment of awkward silence as all three of them stood in the doorway, until Lily spoke, “Ok let’s go” she said before turning her head and yelling" bye Mama don’t wait up”.

“Have fun you two, don’t do anything I wouldn’t”, Monique replied, followed by a giggle, as Lily ushed the group out of the door.

As the door closed behind him, Antoine looked down the corridor outside the apartment, as a sudden panic took over him as he, realising he was again outside dressed as a girl, but this time with a full face of makeup and wearing shoes he could hardly walk in. He wanted to run back into the safety of the apartment, but knew he that wasn’t an option, for the next few hours, he would need to venture out into Paris pretending to be a young fashion graduate, and the thought terrified him.

“So, you look different Zara, did you do something to your hair”? Pedro asked as they strolled towards the lift.

“I’… um…”, Antoine spluttered as Pedro chuckled. Lily gave him a playful slap, “stop it, Pedro, don’t tease her, she feeling uncomfortable enough as it is”.

“She!” Antoine repeated surprised.

“Of course, she”, Lily replied pulling a face, “do you want me to call you Antoine or refer to you with male pronouns while we’re out in public? Might turn a few heads"

“No, I guess not, but it just feels so odd”, Antoine replied.

“Well, it’s not exactly a normal situation for me either, you know? I didn’t think when we woke up this morning, later that evening I’d be dressing my boyfriend up in my roommate's clothes and taking him out into the city for a night out, pretending to be my best friend! But let’s just get through it ok? And who knows, perhaps if you relax a little, we may even have some fun”, Lily said reassuringly.

“Ok, Lil, I’ll try, but it’s going to be tough in this strange outfit”, Antoine said as he stared down mesmerised at the sight of his girly legs squeezed into tight black leggings, and his ultra-feminine shoes clicking along the corridor.

“Strange, come on now girl, you look fabulous,” Pedro cooed, “you look so fierce in those red wedges".

As they approached the lift, Antoine saw his distorted girly image in the shiny metal doors and looked down in shame, “Hey come on Pedro, I told you not to embarrass her”, Lily said.

“Lily, please, I was being sincere, honest, she looks so good, nothing like that glamourpuss Zara, of course, but if you hadn’t told me it was Antoine under there, I would have never guessed he wasn’t a real girl”, Pedro replied flustered.

Antoine looked up, brushing a few strands of dark hair out of his face as the lift pinged and the doors opened, “It’s ok Pedro, and thanks for the compliment, I guess”, he replied tottering into the lift and wishing the night was over.

Out on the street, with the light starting to fade Antoine felt extremely vulnerable, he felt strange and off-balance dressed as he was, and worried, knowing that he wouldn't be able to run or defend himself if something happened that night. But trying to push those thoughts to the back of his mind, he set off with Lily and Pedro, down the street, discovering that walking on the uneven pavements, on his tall shoes, was very different to the flat floor of the apartment bedroom and required a lot more effort and concentration to avoid the holes and gaps that threatened to send him crashing to the ground.

After walking for ten minutes, that seemed a lot longer for Antoine, they arrived at the shopping centre, where the restaurant Lily had booked was located. As they stepped in through the large glass doors, past the recently opened Starbucks, Antoine suddenly stopped dead in his tracks, as he looked around nervously at the bustling shopping centre packed with people.

(See image 8)

Antoine suddenly felt dizzy and his legs began to shake as he looked around at all the shoppers zipping around, and the sound of muffled music and people chatting filled his ears. Suddenly noticing that Lily and Pedro had disappeared into the crowd, unaware he had stopped, he heart skipped a beat, not wanting to lose them, he quickly stepped forward on his now aching feet and tottered along as fast as he could, dodging people as he went frantically searching for his companions. 

“There you are Zar”, Pedro announced as Antoine stumbled up out of breath, “we thought we had lost you, girl, where did you go"?

“Sorry, I got lost I the crowd”, Antoine replied trying to lower the pitch of his voice causing his words to come out almost like a whisper.

“What did you say”? Pedro asked loudly above the noise of the crowd.

“Never mind”, Lily said helping out, “come on, the restaurant is just up ahead”.

Three hours later, in a bar not far from their apartment, Antoine sat cross-legged in a feminine position, by a little table in the corner. Having relaxed a little after a few drinks, he was now feeling much more confident, having been out for a few hours and having nobody stare at him or call him out for pretending to be something he wasn’t. 

As he sat in there, in the pleasant atmosphere, sipping his drink through a straw trying to avoid wiping off his lipstick on the rim of the glass again and then having to reapply it, he listened to another one of Pedro’s interesting stories and found that he was discovering things about Lily that night that he didn’t know.

“And at that moment, she walked in,  and there was Lily, sat there eating her lunch, you should have seen the look on Fifi's face”, Pedro said laughing loudly.

“Hey, I didn’t know it was hers, I was just so hungry, having not had a break all day. I was only going to eat a bite or two”, Lily replied pouting. 

“So, what happened next”? Antoine asked eagerly.

“Oh, Fifi’s reaction was priceless, she just stopped and stared at lily with her mouth open in surprise. It was just like a  Mexican standoff in a movie as neither knew what to say, then Fifi, let out a loud sigh, stamped her foot angrily, and stormed away on her big tall heels. It was so funny”, Pedro answered struggling to tell the story as he was laughing so much.

“It wasn’t funny at the time, Ped, I had only been working there a few weeks, I thought she was going to fire me”, Lily pouted.

“But she didn’t, and now you too are like best friends, and I bet you still steal her lunch”, Pedro joked.

Antoine laughed once more, as he realised despite being dressed as he was and being called Zara, he was actually having fun. Lily had been right earlier, when she had said Pedro was a very relaxed person, he was constantly joking around and loved to have fun. In truth Antoine felt guilty, thinking about all the times in the past when Lily had asked if he wanted to hang out with Pedro and the rest of her friends from work, he had always refused, assuming they would have nothing in common but having gotten to know him a little he realised he had been too quick to judge.

“So, admit it, Zara, you’re having fun, right”? Lily asked rubbing his arm through the soft transparent material of his blouse.

“Yeah, ok, it’s not so bad" Antoine replied smiling and rolling his head, " well apart from earlier in that restaurant, I was so nervous sat on that exposed table in the middle of the room, I lost my appetite completely”, Antoine replied smiling.

“Probably explains, why you’re such a lightweight tonight”? Lily joked.

“I’m not drunk”, Antoine replied shocked.

“Ok, time for another drink then, I think it’s your round Zara”, Lily shot back.

Antoine looked over at the bar and then down at his painful feet, "ah what the hell", he thought standing up, “Pedro hunny, will you help me, please"? he said jokingly batting his eyelashes and trying to look cute and innocent.

Pedro stood up and placed his arm around Antoine's waist, “of course chica" he said smiling, "Lily, are you having the same again"?

Lily looked up at her boyfriend above her looking extremely cute and relaxed and felt her body tingle. As the day had worn on, she had become more and more accustomed to seeing him looking like a girl, and as the time passed, her attraction towards his new look had grown, “perhaps this week won’t be so bad after all”, she thought to herself, before turning to Pedro, “Yes, and get a round of shots while you’re up there”.

(See image 9)