We need to talk.

(TLDR; I will be discontinuing the poll suggestions for $5 and $10 patrons at the end of the month and the content poll at the end of next month. The 26 poll images will slowly get done, but I have to cut off future ones for my own sanity. Please read below for full context on the situation, it should hopefully explain any questions you have.)

Hello, and Happy New Year. 2021 was a rough for a lot of people, in many ways it was an extension of a grueling 2020. I head into 2022 with hopes that this will be the year that finally brings us some much needed comfort. I do hope you and your loved ones have been keeping safe and well.

I need to take this time to talk a bit about my 2021. During the summer I had a dear friend stay with me for a few months, during this time I didn't produce any work as I instead valued my time with them. Upon their depature heading into the end of summer and beginning of fall I fell ill. This was unrelated to my friend and was just really bad timing. I recovered but it ultimately extended my unannounced hiatus that much further.

I finally ended the hiatus that I started in June in October, with a picture of Mama from Death Stranding. But for the final months of 2021 things were once again dry from me. All in all it wasn't that unproductive of a year. I still ultimately shared 13 works with you all, which isn't too unusual of a yearly output for me. But I could've done more, I wanted to do more. But something has been stopping me, something I really didn't want to talk about because it is a character fault of myself and my brain. But it has finally gotten to the point where I need to stop hiding and address it, because it's only going to get worse otherwise.

My brain absolutely hates commitment.

It has always been like this for me, since my earliest memories. Something as simple as keeping a doctors appointment is a challenge. It is why you never see me offering commissions. It isn't because I don't need the funds, quite the contrary. I live paycheck to paycheck and I've had several points in my life where the ends simply didn't meet. The reason is very much this lack of commitment from my brain. Every commission I've ever taken on from 10 years ago, to 10 months ago, has resulted in severe delays. Rarely did I ever finish one within a years time. I know I should, and I internally scream at myself every day about it but yet my body refuses to move.

I understand it probably sounds pretty immature, and I feel embarrassed for having to confess to it. It isn't simply "I don't want to" it's something deeper than that, if it was something I could change about myself I absolutely would because I believe wholeheartedly I'd be much MUCH more successful as an artist if I did. Tho at this point you're probably wondering why I'm even talking about this and what it has to do with anything, afterall I'm not accepting commissions so what's the problem? Well, this brings me into how I currently do make income and ultimately why my productivity has dropped off the face of the Earth in the last several months.

I make income off of Patreon. The primary perks I offer on Patreon are high quality and resolution 4k PNGs of my work and... monthly polls. Every month I create two posts on Patreon; One asking my higher paying patrons what they'd like to see in future content, the other a poll made up of those suggestions from the previous month that all my patrons can vote on. It's a pretty common perk to offer, as it allows the people who directly fund you to help shape your content. I started offering this perk in January 2020. In the over two years I've offered the perk the amount of poll winning images I actually produced totaled...

One. Yes, one. A single winner poll image was produced by me, a picture of Sherry Birkin holding her futa cock. The poll winner for the very first month I offered this perk.

I would often get a healthy amount of suggestions for each poll every month, but slowly the suggestions starting drying up, I guess as people realized the images were not coming to fruition. Currently only a couple of patrons offer suggestions, with the last handful of months only seeing 2 or 3 suggestions made. Just enough to even have a poll. It's clear that it isn't working, and I thought I could force it when this year I made the promise that I would no longer produce content that I come up with and instead focus 100% on the poll images.

My patrons who supported me and paid for them deserve to have them, but the result of me trying to go all in speaks for itself; I produced zero content in the last several months. I didn't even produce any drafts. To say I'm lost on what to do is an understatement. It seems that I'm going to need to break the promise of devoting 100% of my time to poll images and instead produce my own content again. But these poll images MUST get done, they have been paid for with, at this point years, of support from my patrons and I am in no financial state to refund. So they will get done, but it seems that slowly is going to be the only way. Which brings me to the this question; What of the future?

If I'm having such trouble getting the poll images that have already been decided done, how will I get the ones in the future done? Indeed, it seems like an endless ordeal that makes me realize that I'm likely going to need to stop offering the incentive on my Patreon. I suspect doing that will cause my already low $300 a month income on Patreon to sink even lower, but I genuinely don't know how I'll ever catch up some day if it never ends. Currently I owe a whopping 26 poll images counting next months winner which I have already have pledges for.

With what I've talked about in this post I'm sure you understand that that number will likely take me literal years to put a dent in. It's unreasonable to allow it to grow further. I should've stopped awhile back, but I really wanted to force myself to handle it. I have to make the decision that January 2022 will be the final month I'll accept poll suggestions, and February to be the final month of me offering a content poll with those suggestions included. My $5 and $10 tiers will as such have no unique reward, they will simply be if you want to support me with that much extra for the same 4K PNGs you get from being a $2 patron. It'd mean the world to me if you did, but I of course can't ask you to stay with no further incentive.

As things stand, by breaking my promise to focus exclusively on the poll winners, something I do not do lightly, I hope it'll result in me producing more content again for everyone to enjoy and that I can slowly work on getting the poll images done. 26 is a daunting number, but knowing it won't grow further helps me envision getting them all done. I want to apologize for how poorly managed I am. This was a hobby I turned into a career when I lost my job, and as my patreon has unfortunately declined I tried other methods to boost it back up, such as polls, betraying what I knew I could handle.

Any frustrations you have with me are warranted, and I am truly sorry. I hope to get back to producing content that you'll enjoy, even if you decide to no longer financially support me. Thank you very much for reading. I know it was long.

-FUCKHEAD