Three Square Meals - Chapter 116

I still can't get it to download!

Anyone else having trouble downloading the updated version?

Kalen Turner

For the Maliri, they're on a different clock than the Invictus crew is. John and the girls are on Terran Standard Time, while the Maliri are most likely on Valaden time. So for the Maliri, it would have been morning time for them.

Jedi Khan

Tefler, At the end of chapter 115 we know it was ~208PM in the afternoon as that is the time that they were supposed to get to Menganus IV, then in the beginning of 116 Edraele meets with the matriarchs and as they talk about the refit as if it was morning "The refit of House Perfaren’s two fleets and my third are already well underway, with Houses Aeberos’ and Naestina’s beginning later this morning.”" Then later when Edraele met with Gaenna it was afternoon. And Faye meets with Tony it was only a few hours. I think you may want to review the timeline. and possibly correct the the above passage to be later this afternoon.

Cignal

Thanks but sorry I was asking about the ...next chapter #117 that is.

Nibbles

I've updated this chapter with the final version! :-)

Tefler

A bunch of great edits there, thanks very much!

Tefler

Any news on the next chapter as to when we can expect it please?

Nibbles

By the way, terrific chapter! This is this third chapter that had me tearing up -- it was during the planet-side resolution of the Tony, Kelli and Perl story. Another was my still-favorite chapter, the one when Tashana was rescued. To me, one of the great things about finally being here on the Patreon message board is that it reminds me of the early days of the Lit comment section before all the trolls and entitled ones arrived. I missed Tefler's frequent comments and the very active back and forth among TSM fans, and it is so great to find that again here.

Gadfium

Just today I finally caught up. Finished everything on Lit yesterday and then today the two on Patreon. One comment I have on the last two is that the capital city is generally in number form, but in one appearance, I think it was last chapter, it was written out. In American style, numbers of 10 and more are only written out at the beginning of a sentence (don't know if it is different in British style). But in this case, as the name of the city comes from the Periodic weight of silver I can see number being used exclusively and never written out ... or it could follow normal written style. But if I remember right, and I might not be, I thought the written-out appearance was in the middle of a sentence, not at the beginning. I'll have to go look to see if I can find it.

Gadfium

tefler are you going to make your 3rd and fourth books in paperback

travis btmb

I was thinking about it and I recalled what Edraele said back in Chapter 72: “Maliri society has been warped by centuries of abuse by the Matriarchs in charge. It’s not going to be an easy task convincing women to change their ways, and trying to earn their respect without threats and violence is going to be difficult; at least, not without some powerful assistance.” The Matriarchs' daughters were, as I understand it, traditionally kept away from too active an involvement in the affairs of their mothers, so I am unsurprised to learn that they aren't cognizant as to what's happening with all of the Matriarchs who have been sequestered at Genthalas station or aboard their fleets, earlier. They might not even know of John or that the Maliri Regency is now the Maliri Protectorate. Until either John or those Maliri who have been altered by him (white haired Maliri) get around to actually visiting each of the Houses, there is the potential for trouble arising. Of course, they should know about the broadcast that was sent out stating that the Maliri would resist the Progenitor's taking over the Maliri Regency and declaring war upon him... but did they receive the follow-up? Was there one? I like that Tefler is reminding us of this.

Evan

The armor reads their DNA as well, which is how the suit knows which color the lioness hologram on the shoulders is supposed to be. Plus all the team's weapons are DNA coded as well. Makes sense then that the armor could pass that information on to the DNA scanner.

Jedi Khan

How many lifetimes of anticipation must we endure before the deliverance of Chapter 117 soothes our aching souls?

Considering that the DNA scanner has to be able to be used from the outside of the TF vessels while they’re in space in order to access the ships after spacewalks, it is not unreasonable to asssume that they’ve developed scanner technology that works through armour. Today, we might need to have actual physical contact to obtain a DNA sample. In the time of the Invictus, however, that is probably no longer the case and would not have been for some time.

Evan

Hey I found a small discrepancy: When John and irillith go for a spacewalk to the asteroid, they pull on their paragon armor and step into the airlock. The airlock depressurizes and only then does irillith put her hand on the DNA scanner. She should have gloves on at this point making a DNA scan impossible

Posted a bunch old older chapter edits on Discord if you ever want to go back and fix them. All edits are based on chapters posted on SoL so not sure if errors were fixed at some point and not updated to the site.

Frostfyre

Couple of suggestions for 116 (sorry if any are duplicated): Chapter 116 Perhaps we should retire to the Cabin and celebrate being reunited my lord. ...cabin no caps. Chapter 116 She raised a hand to feel the sun's gentle warmth on her cheek, >>does not really make any sense. Maybe ...She raised a hand up to her cheek when she felt the sun's gentle warmth on her face, ... Chapter 116 squinting to protect her eyes from the unfamiliar glare from the sun ... Too many "from", maybe change to ...glare of the sun. Chapter 116 I wish we could've got here in time to save them... Gotten not got Chapter 116 ...pausing to watch the Invictus lift off and wave their saviors goodbye. ...pausing to wave goodbye to their saviors. Chapter 116 John sat in the Co-pilot's chair. ...co-pilot's, no caps. Chapter 116 Irillith focused herself inward, focusing her attention on the sprawl... >>It seems very zen to be focusing both inward and outward at the same time, but it might be better to add something like ...inward, peeling her astral spirit from her body, then focusing her... Chapter 116 "They always end up in a bloodbath." >>change always to usually, the Vulkat mission went well. ...But things never work out that way. Change never to rarely for the same reason.

Frostfyre

Ah, well spotted!

Tefler

Great addition on the short scene. Really added to the characters.

Crom

Nodding with his chin to a bench that had been placed at the prow of the hill, he added, “Let’s sit there for a while...” Shouldn't that be the brow of the hill?

ringill

John and Edraele have almost the exact same conversation about changing the matriarch's personalities in chapter 95.

Frostfyre

I liked the new short scene. It reminds me of my first time seeing the Pacific Ocean. Growing up inland, the reality of that much water... And I saw my first sunset on the ocean. Thanks for bringing back a fond memory.

commatoes

It was Admiral Eleanor Maybridge, chapter 104. "To John’s surprise, he saw a flickering red cover Admiral Maybridge, who looked absolutely mortified that she’d been highlighted. She staggered backwards, before tripping over in her terror, as she gaped at her blood-red hands with disbelieving eyes."

Tefler

" Out of the thousands I’ve flagged with a red aura, only three are still alive today... and just one of them was innocent. The woman had an abortion when she was young, then blamed herself for letting her parents and boyfriend pressure her into it." I thought there wasa paragraph or two that focused on the fact she was tagged white and believed she should be red because of this history. Name and chapter....

Kddan

Yeah, writing with toothache wasn't a lot of fun. Fortunately, I feel fine again now. :-)

Tefler

Nice spot... those are hard to see!

Tefler

With regard to the age, if you say that someone has lived for a century, it means they've racked up 100 years already. So in this instance she's saying "your third century" = 300 years. If she said "in her third century" I'd agree, but that's a slightly different phrasing. I like the version of Marshall used in the old west, but it seems that the single l variant is much more common, especially for law enforcement. I decided to change it to the single l to avoid confusion!

Tefler

Good points. One of my editors suggested the same thing, including agoraphobia after living in caves all their lives. I'll make a few tweaks... :-)

Tefler

A thought just occurred to me Tefler. Isn't this the first time Tony, Kelli, and Perl have been outside Karron? This is first time they've see anything besides the inside of an asteroid. A sun, sky, grass, trees? All should be new to them. Especially the fact that they can look up and not see rock above them. I know it was mentioned that they got to see a sunset and some of the scenery, but it didn't seem quite as significant as it should have been...to them at least. It almost felt like they had experienced all this stuff before, but simply found a new variation of it that they enjoyed more, like a person who has grown up in one coastal town and then moved to another that happened to appeal to them more. I guess the point I'm trying to make here is that the moment they stepped outside the Invictus, I was sorta expecting them to pause and kind of marvel at having nothing but air above their heads.

Jedi Khan

Edraele is usually only visibly nice to Maliri with white hair normally but more so callous & mean to those with black hair or those she'll get a better response out of if she pretends like old Edraele. Gaenna Baelora's daughters are certainly aware of certain changes & most likely declared by their mother no doubt since that's how it works. Like the whole no more neuro whipping people. Also only the Matriarchs (& lots of engineers) recently have witnessed Edraele new change of heart. So it definitely is believable Gaenna's daughters wouldn't know. - The immediate Houses that would have known/do know info were those of the "Young Matriarchs".

Roy Benavides

It seems strange to me that the daughters of a Matriarch wouldn't know about what's happening in Genthalas after the almost civilian war and the new openness from Edraele. I get that they might be concerned about the changes in their mother, but I would still think that would be brought up.

cp

Falicity was the representative of Oceanus the planet where john took the girls while waiting for Rachaels change to be completed. Jade turned into a Dolphin

rich ed

Who's Falicity again? And also I loved the scene with Maria. I really thought: this is gonna happen! But then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

That object in the mines is for the sequel...

Timbo

Tefler, you are amazing. With all you had going you still turn out another great chapter. My hats off to you. I hope that you and yours are well. I look forward to e-book 4. Good days ahead for you I pray. Rest and recover!

great chapter :)

thomas rodrian

Another fascinating chapter! Did spot a telepathic/normal speech mismatch which I think should be telepathic, Her startled gaze softened, tears filling her eyes. *Oh, thank you, Edraele! Thank you so much!”

ringill

Mr. Tefler, thank you for the great read. I loved the twists and turns. What you did for Tony, Perl, Kim... amazing. Helping the husband of the Governor... cant wait for the next chapter.. .this is getting interesting.. cant wait to see what happens with the Brimorian people and also if the ships were returned and refit to the Kintark Empire, it will be interesting to see what the spy from the Brimorian high command is up to. Then we have the Traitor from TFed to deal with. I was surprised nothing was said of found about about the dark object in the mines that Dana and Alyssa came from... Unless that was a fluke and nothing to really worry about...

Taco1085

“Gaenna must have at least another 60 or 70 years before we have to deal with that nightmare,” Rosanae replied, shaking her head. “Such cases are unheard of before your third century.” I think this should be either "fourth century" or "end of your third century" as explained by Edraele earlier (Gaeana being 236 hence in her third century). Also, I don't believe there is a double l in marshal even commonly in English English (except for the usual doubling in inflections of the verb such as marshalled).

John Jameson

OMG Link Die its fixed now

keen_FlattendHedgeHog

:D

Tefler

In every chapter, there always seems to be one or two sentences that are Hall of Fame worthy. This chapter was no different. “Oh my... I appear to be naked,” Maria purred.... CLASSIC!

Bigfoot

Interesting feedback, thanks! Regarding Kelli and Perl, did you mean that they've seemed similar to the Lionesses since the beginning, or just in this chapter? If it's just from this chapter, that's probably because they're settling down now that they aren't in danger any more. In the early chapters, they were terrified most of the time and heavily dependent on Tony for guidance and protection. In this one, they have started to relax and assert themselves a little more as they grew in confidence. I hadn't really set it up with that intent, but their relationship with Tony does oddly mirror that of John and the girls. With their background growing up in a brothel, they're very open about sex and comfortable with their bisexuality. They latched on to Tony to protect them, after he rescued them from Karron, and hero-worship the guy after his acts of kindness towards them. (The first man to treat them with respect). So yeah, I definitely can see the similarity in their relationship, although the Karron girls developed organically, rather than from a mental re-write.

Tefler

Terran entertainment does play quite a heavy influence on Maliri culture (or at least they're aware of it), but I see your point about that phrase. It's probably a bit out of place in a military setting... I'll have a think how to tweak that.

Tefler

It was an interesting chapter but it felt... Disconnected. I think for me it was an over abundance of perspective changes in a short period of time. Again maybe it's just me but it seemed like you were trying to fit a bucket of information in a shot glass container. Still well written and I enjoy the characters but for instance. The two new girls with the ganger didn't feel distinctive from the lionesses and John. I know some of that is they style of writing. But the girls from karron haven't had the mental re write that the lionesses have had. I was hoping to have them recognize some of those personality and perspective differences more glaringly if that makes sense.

Grimlakin

Another killer chapter! Only thing that felt a little out of character was the reference to “their six” during the Kirrix battle. I could see that being thing if Terran vids were commonplace in Maliri military culture.

Crom

Done

zingowner

"...the last few days' for any sensor contacts..." days?

zingowner

Nice, thanks!

Tefler

Thanks for all those, I've updated the posted version. The original idiom was "a new lease of life", but apparently the on version has started to become popular in America. I always find it fascinating to see those minor differences in the language!

Tefler

Tefler, great chapter! I was pleased with how you handled Tony, Keli and Perl’s future, and also enjoyed the Maliri testing their new might against the Kirrix. Some suggested edits for Chapter 116 are as follows: Page 2: he plans to take a detour via Kirrix territory and will (be) returning home to us at least a week later.”; Page 5: *Well at the moment, all the older matriarchs are remembering what is (it) was like to be a luscious 30-year-old...; Page 11: If you’d been present for my meeting with Gaenna, it wouldn’t have surprised me if she dropped to her knees and begged you to make whatever changes you like in exchange for a new lease of (on) life.*; Page 15: I wanted to check (to see if) you were alright.”; Page 15: “Why do women have to talk about every(thing) goddamn thing?!”; Page 34: John held his breath as he traced his fingers over her slim stomach, then looked at Felicity with lust (in) his eyes.; Page 42: She grabbed the overhead rail at the end of (the) gantry,; Page 50: The three Maliri Battleship(s) pivoted; As always, if you disagree, I completely understand. Good luck with Chapter 117. Cheers!

"...technology disadvantage is a unmitigated disaster..." an?

zingowner

Thank you!

Tefler

well spotted.

Tefler

"...who had been forcible removed from them...." forcibly?

zingowner

"The segmented bow of those ochre..." bows?

zingowner

Luce is the Planetary Governor, it is her nickname and is well established in the previous chapter. Holonet is the TSM equivalent of the Internet but on an inter-galactic scale and is also well established in the story. What seems to be the nature of your question?

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

"...your way around the Holonet? " Luce asked, studying..." Holonet?" Luce?

zingowner

Being an older person, I would probably stop reading it if it went exclusively to comic form :^)) Each to their own.

i would definately join the $5/chapter club to see this story in comic book form........

tony

Hey Tefler, have you thought about granting the Maliri limited psionic powers along with the male/female ratio? I think it would give the Maliri a permanent edge against ordinary thralls.

Forbsey

That'll probably be one for the sequel. John's brutal smackdown of Baledranax scared the Enshunu off... for now!

Tefler

Yeah, chapter 1 of TSM was the first story I've ever written. I've been the DM/GM for a lot of rpgs though, so I was used to structuring a story, but nothing as complex as TSM. Playing lots of computer games, watching lots of sci-fi shows/movies and reading lots of novels helped with all that too! :-)

Tefler

You're welcome!

Tefler

Well spotted, thank you! It could've been worse... she could have been worried about a grizzly death! Kodiak attack! :-)

Tefler

I'm really glad you enjoyed it! The trip to Arcadia isn't far away. :-)

Tefler

Thanks!

Tefler

Thanks! Fixed now. :-)

Tefler

Ah, well spotted, thanks!

Tefler

Yeah, mostly over my cold and the I've seen the dentist a couple of times to sort out the toothache. :-)

Tefler

I pointed that out to Tefler awhile ago. It should be updated on his master document, but it probably didn't make it into the version he posted online.

Jedi Khan

Ok, the kind of death Edraele feared would have been a grisly death, not a gristly one. Grisly means disgusting and bloody, absolutely repulsive and horrible. Gristly means rubbery or full of cartilage.

andrew finlayson

That was an intentional play on words. You'll notice the "butt" is italicized.

Jedi Khan

Yeah, I had to venture out in it. Still can't believe they light the tracks on fire to warm them.

Frostfyre

Fun chapter. I wonder - could Jade use her shapeshifting and psychic powers to allow herself to be "possessed" by, say, Edraele, so that her and John could spend some time together despite being far apart?

James Hârn

im just waiting to see what's going on in the Wastelands and with the old refinery

Jeff

Woot! Thank heaven you got this one out, Tefler...I was seriously Jones-ing for my TSM fix! Loved that it was backstory, too, because the Kirrix Invision was starting to wear on me. When's the evil Progenitor coming back for a cameo? Whazzup with John's mother and the whole family reunion? Curious minds want to know!!! I need more cowbell! By far, your juice is worth every chapter's patreonage!!! Okay, enough euphemisms. Back to hibernation until the next chapter.

CJ Mora

My thought as well

I'm sorry i know I am a chapter or two late at this point for this comment but how did Perl and Keli know about the angel of terra Rachel didn't get that name until after the battle of Terra where karron would have not had any news about since they were already attacked and wouldn't have had a com relay same for the other colonists on the outer rim or am I missing the timing and the Kirrix attacked after teh battle of Terra but before the fleets could reach them again?

Top of page 22: "...she’d been in deep shit..." She'd be in...

Jedi Khan

Mr.Tefler - I hate to say it BUT there ain't no way this is your first story! The details, the characterizations, the story arcs, the tech and upgrades are just to professional and fabulous. I, personally, am absolutely in love with TSM! I hope you and your family are feeling much better now and will have a great 2019. PLEASE keep up this fantastic story throughout the year.

Who Me

Found a statosphere instead of a stratosphere.

Muledrvr

Bottom of page 15: "...to talk about everything goddamn thing?!” Was this intentional? It should be "every goddamn thing" otherwise.

Jedi Khan

I guess it didn't, but the part about the people standing in the shadow of the raptor threw me off.

Sean Miller

I am so thrilled to be able to spend the entire night savoring this next chapter!!! Thank you Tefler!😀

So when did the raptor get back to the Invictus?

Sean Miller

Yes, I noticed that too. It should be the shadow of the stealth shuttle.

HornsOfTheseus

When the Karron survivors leave, you people standing in the shadow of the Raptor. Isn't John, Jade, Shan, and Irilith on the Raptor flying advance scout?

Muledrvr

I thought all the matriarchs were connected to john. Page 3 -Edraele nodded and looked around at the fourteen dark-haired matriarchs- Was this suppose to be short haired?

Buttler... should have only one t

If you’d be/been in a position to help Bob or any of your friends,

Hip hip hooray!

Yea!

Awesome Tefler! A great way to pass some time here in Siberia, um I mean Chicago with our -50+ F windchill temps

Thank you

Roman Andrew Chalfant

cherrs mr

Braw

“But you’re into you’re/your one-sixties!” Gaenna protested, looking stunned

Woo hoo

Muledrvr

Thank you, Tefler -- Nappy Yew Hear!

Awesome, thank you Tefler

MJHSharkbait365

Hope you're feeling better now Tefler :)

Nchalada

Huzzah go the crowd!

8th dam it too slow again

😭😭😭 I'm so happy

Thanks Tefler

Cignal

Thanks for this Tefler! The withdrawal was bad after 45 days. Really bad...

DemonHunterCole

Wee

Sam J

Yes

Jim lynch

Second!

DemonHunterCole

Yay!

Jedi Khan