Sort of Legal - Guest writer

I absolutely LOVE Erotic Science Fiction. It is SO hard to find. This is the best I have read in a long, long time. I can't believe you don't have at least 100 books under your belt. The best I have read since Heinlein. Thank you.

Who Me

Sort of legal in literotica

Carmina.burana123

Sort of legal in literotica

Carmina.burana123

Stacey,,, you learn from the screwups! When your writing in someone else’s storyline it is important to follow continuity, not just with the story but also the characters. If not you risk turning off the diehard fans. Lord knows there is a few of those around here. One real good example is the Tom Swift books, there was no single author but the editor kept continuity over the series. Read the complete TSM a couple of times and really try to immerse yourself into the characters. Then comeback to this story and look to where you weren’t quite to the story. Once you branch off then you get a little more leeway but you still have to follow what Tefler has already established for his universe. For example,, With the phobia of AI in the T-FED how are you going to explain the creation of one?

Loved the story Where can i find the first one

Having trouble finding Stacy's first story. Anyone have a link?

Crom

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Interesting little side trip

Muledrvr

That was fun! Thank you, Stacy!

I did wonder briefly how Rachel missed that Ginger has ocular implants. Since those are likely to be non-organic, shouldn't they have popped up on Rachel's radar?

Jedi Khan

Could it have used editing, yup, but we all find issues with the base stories also, after the editing. I for one appreciate the short stories, even with the lack of editing. Most of us eagerly await the next of teflers chapters, so shorts like this help with that wait, please keep them coming.

Hi there, I’ve been helping out a few authors in SOL. Please drop me a mail and I’ll see what I can do.

bob lakhanpal

Grimlakin, would Alyssa recognise him as an android? I don't think they've come across one before. I like your simile, a very good one. I think Ginger and Quip were surprised at how easily they were foiled by the crew, a new experience for them I am sure.

Stacey B Yes, if you're not looking you won't usually find it, but that ignores how Irillith's powers have been demonstrated to work. Plus, they brought Quip and Ginger onto their ship after being attacked by Ginger... I would think they would check to make sure there weren't other surprises...

cp

Thanks, in six months I'll be even closer to my nervous break down and full blow alcoholism, here's to life goals, cheers!

I sincerely wish I had the time available to help. I liked a lot of the story but I think the you in six months will kick the pants off of the you right now. I hope I can say that about myself for the rest of my life. You have some terrific potential, and I look forward to seeing where you go with this story! You got the spark, it's apparent you can grow it :) If my work ever hires a replacement for the two people I currently cover, I'd be happy to apply for an editor position.

Rurik

Well that was a nice kick in the pants LOL thank you. I'm working on Ch2 now, I hope its better, I really need an editor.

So, when I was learning help in my grandparent's garden, I was having a lot of fun. I even had my childhood best friend with me, and we went along, dropping corn into holes of earth and having a great time. Later, we had to pull weeds from some flower beds and I did as good of a job as my buddy, but my grandma made me do the work we BOTH did over again when he went home. I told her I had done a good job, and deserved to have some play time. She told me something along the lines of: "What you did was fine enough for someone your age, I suppose. But my boy can do better if he puts his mind to it." This story needs you to go back over it, to fix about 150 grammatical errors, make dialogue and actions of the characters more in line with the hundreds of thousands of words of source material that has gone before it, and to straighten out the plot. I'm not saying that to hurt your feelings - but I think that people telling me things that I did not do well enough were good enough was some of the cruelest feedback I ever received, as it put a hard limit on my growth. You have potential, I'd not have typed these words otherwise, but you need to edit more, research your source material more and come back stronger in chapter 2.

Rurik

Mt thought is creative freedom. In the story Tefler has constructed would that really work? No. Would Alyssa immediately recognize the guy as a android. Yes. But it was some creative freedom to let strong characters shine in Teflers universe a bit. It's like a teenager being able to hold the like for a few seconds in football against a professional lineman. Nobody expected them to win. Its just nice they could make them work for it a bit.

Grimlakin

If your not looking for something its easy to miss it, maybe the frequency they use is not standard, perhaps short burst communication designed to look like back ground interference? (I believe that's currently used my the military here at the moment)

Yeah, sorry about that, I have a lot of trouble with spelling, one of my many faults, hence my request for an editor. Yes I glossed and fudged a fair bit to manipulate the story. Maybe they were all having a bad day?

Glad you picked up that little Easter egg x

I have to agree with cp and tom on most points. Alyssa should have at least noted something wasn't right with Quip and sent up a warning flag. John and Alyssa could have used their psychic powers to stop Gingers attack. Then the characters didn't seem to act right. I've been reading this for a long time and they just didn't seem to be normal. John came off like a real ahole, which reminded me more of PJ. Sakura didn't seem in character ether, then overall it seemed the timing or tempo was off. Sorry to sound cruel but Stacey, if you know so much about the story, you should be able to spell Alyssa's name right.

Sure, but in the story as written Alyssa noted that he had no real astral pressence. Which if it's significant to her then I would think that she's comparing him to a normal human. It's not like she's lacking experience with her abilities.

cp

As the Ashanath have technology that utilises psychic abilities, it is possible that a similar technology might be used to make an AI appear to have a biological mind.

commatoes

One thing I found odd was Ginger and Quip's ability to communicate by text without Faye or Irillith being able to detect it.

commatoes

I like the premise, but there are a lot of things that make my brain hurt reading this. To start it seems to underplay Alyssa's telepathic abilities... She would probably know that Quip wasn't human instantly, and reading Ginger's mind to begin with should have easily told her what's going on (unless she now has a cybernetic brain but I think she would still recognize it because of Sakura).

cp

"worked as a stripper, filed her taxes and listed her tips accurately too" As a former manager of a "Gentleman's Establishment," This was the moment I knew for absolute certainty that her background was a total and complete fabrication.

cute little side story

You had my curiosity now you have my attention

Mark Hall

Hi, I'm glad you liked it, you can find me on Literotica user name dididothat they are quite rude though. I'm starting work on more of Sort of legal.

Good Stormy has me renting to read so me more

Its Ginger and Quips occupation, Sort of legal

I kinda feel that Ginger and Quip like to keep their cards very close to their chest and avoid reacting openly to anything how ever unusual, one line that did get dropped was "I don't think she blinks without a plan."

Thank you, yes I am working on more xx

Oh yes, I was hoping someone might be interested in helping me with editing? Pretty please?

I like to think as Sakura is a bit sub herself she picked up on Gingers reaction when she made her point that Ginger had no hope of fooling her.

Hi Guys, thank you for the positive feedback. I'm nowhere near as polished as our Tef. I did have to force a few bits and, yes its a little off from their normal patterns, trust you observant lot to pick up on it! I have more planned for Ginger and Quip, the title will be a lot more obvious then. I have started on the next chapter, it moves the story right back to Gingers beginning. I hope you'll enjoy that. I doubt Ginger will. This story is a lot darker than 3SM no magic cum to make everything better. (don't worry there will be a lot of sex)

What does the title mean?

Little hard to follow, reactions of the crew a little different than what I would think they would be. But entertaining.

The biggest flaw I saw was that Faye didn't inform John about the nature of the other AI. John would if have been most curious about its origins.

GrandPaM

One positive I take from this story is the willingness of all to accept on the possibility of an AI with its own body and sexuality much more evolved than Faye. Though Faye wins this show much more the reason for an upgrade to her capability..

A good solid piece. Definitely could use some polishing of the rough points, like how didn't Alyssa pick up on Quip's nature or Ginger not being a slave, especially with the depth of the info Alyssa was able to get from others. The other bit that felt rough to me was how did Sakura figure the that Ginger might be a sub.

Needs work but could be good.

Good effort. Clever. Thanks.

Not bad at all.

Dragon

lol Not a problem for this piece as it's not an official chapter. Tefler didn't write it. Still good though.

Jedi Khan

Gonna save that for after work. Otherwise, the wife will kill me as she's getting sick of me getting ahead of her in the story.

Well okay then. That was an interesting read. Odd how Quip didn't seem all that surprised by the display of powers from Alyssa and Tashana. Or had he already seen footage of them in action? If so, then he should have seen Rachel's trick too. Oh well. Not going to nitpick. Much.

Jedi Khan

Alyssa couldn't get a read initially and later did not share what she read!

Very nice work, very different &amp; interesting characters! Got the crew spot on, too.

J B

Welcome! Nice story, nice flow! Needs a little spell check but otherwise Great!

Kostas Koroneos

Not bad at all nice spin of.... keep it up

Ricardo Miguel Pereira da Silva

Hm. Interesting. Wasn't expecting this. I'll check it out shortly.

Jedi Khan

No, the guys are straight in this one.

Tefler

Awesome story!! Can we have more? I'm intrigued.

Is that the one where the guys are bi?

Wardonis

Welcome Stacey