Three Square Meals Ch 94 - complete!

Added to Timeline. Apologies for the delay. The holiday season is busy... :D

Dark Storymaker

Tefler, you did miss one typo. There is an extra quotation mark at the end of a sentence when John escorts Edraele back to her suite to rebond with her.

LunarLilith

This is how I read Chapter 94 and I recommend it for everyone. I got the chapter loaded into my IPad (ancient precursor to the holo reader), got up front in the nearly deserted Observation Lounge of the Alaska Ferry Columbia as we traveled south through the night between rocks and islands, and navigation lights. Whipped by wind and water of an impressive Pacific Ocean storm. I can tell you that my imagination was having fun. No lasers or shields, but I thought I saw a bunch of asteroids and small planets out there.

DCM

I did the last of the editing on Chapter 94 and just posted the FINAL version. Apologies to all those waiting until I'd finished it to read it! :-)

Tefler

Speaking of the T-Fed High Command , I know it would be sacrilegious to think that maybe John & crew were not on the right side in regards to the Rebels , & am glad they came to an Clemency agreement with them . I know they ended up siding with an enemy that would have destroyed them in the long run but how much of that was under the influence of Lynton & BSP . It seems the were against the Military Control of the government & wished to establish a New Republic ,( comments of Lynton to Commodore Sasaki before the Battle ). I for one have never relished a Gov. dominated by Military or Religious types since any disagreement turns into anti-patriotism or being against God's will . Just a random thought considering what we're seeing from the High Command & their scheming against John .

bigdawguw65

True..or just that Trankians have a peaceful trusting nature , remarked upon by John on a number of occasions . They even wanted John to peacefully settle their rebellion with as little loss of life as possible . I can imagine the high Commands response to a similar issue ( Santini & Lynton) . The Trankarians seem to treat everyone the same regardless of Progen influence , maybe because they we'rent the "Favored Ones" the Maliri & had less if any direct contact with Mael , or even being a silicon based lifeform rather than carbon like rest of life in area ? Just my opinion of course .

bigdawguw65

It could also be the programming in their DNA, much like with the Maliri. The Maliri women are utterly fascinated by John the moment they lay eyes on him, and men will supposedly ultimately defer to him. The Trankarans seem to not react quite as strongly to John's presence, but then again, the examples of Trankaran behavior that we've seen have been from seemingly strong-willed individuals, Niskera and Thandrun; they are likely able to suppress their reactions to John. I bet if John were to take a stroll through a market full of Trankaran civilians, he'd have plenty of people watching him with interest and fascination much like he would if the market were full of Maliri. Terrans, on the other hand, supposedly have no such programming in their DNA, as Mael'Nerak created them from the baseline, unmodified Progenitor thrall template as an experiment to see what happens to that template when left to natural selection over time. This means that they are not genetically inclined to act favorably towards John like the other races are, resulting in alpha dog types such as those in High Command being free to try acting against a perceived threat to their alpha dog status even though they have no chance of winning.

Jedi Khan

In re-reading Ch 92 I was struck by the difference in the Trankarians response to John & his rescue efforts & The T-Fed high Command . Where the HC saw danger to their personal power & someone they couldn't control through usual methods the Trankarians saw John as an honorable ally & someone they needed to retain as an ally . I think this is a reflection of their respective races & how they view honor & obligation to a higher right & wrong . Just something to mull over .

bigdawguw65

Any timeframe on Chapter 95 or the next Book release? Also, time to update the Overview Status... still stuck on November 13th... :-)

Evan

I uploaded a new version that fixed a lot of errors pointed out by patrons and also included edits from my editors on part 2. I need to go through it to remove a few bits of repetitious phrasing, but I'll do that after I've finished chapter 95. (So it's pretty much done) :-)

Tefler

Tefler, Loved this chapter. I am happy I guessed right on a bit of speed enhancement for the two assassins. It just seemed like it had to happen. Of course I think it should be taken even further, which seems to be in John's mind given his statements to the two. And the beginnings of cross training with the assassins to make everyone more well rounded in their martial arts skills is a natural story arc. Was glad to see that as well. I like how you handled the issue with Tashana's past with Edraele. It would serve no purpose for her to have to remember that. With both twins moving on, Edraele has that possibility as well. She still is in need of healing it seems. All considered, this was an outstanding chapter that begins to tie up a lot of loose story arcs. Very addicting.

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

Yeah, about time we saw some more of the Brimorian Enclave. I've only been waiting what... a year and half? since I first mentioned them! :-)

Tefler

Much appreciated, Robert, thank you!

Tefler

I'm aiming for the 30th. We'll see...

Tefler

The funny one is when Americans wish me a happy Independence day. Impudent colonials... :-)

Tefler

I don't tend to plan anything to that detail in advance, I usually just write what I think the characters would say while I cover the main point of each scene. Calara's the strategic girl, so she'd be making sure her Maliri fleets are geared up and experienced before any showdown with Progenitor forces!

Tefler

I'll do my best!

Tefler

Ah, nice one, thank you!

Tefler

Thank you! I fixed them in the latest edit. :-)

Tefler

Hah! No, Alice is a woman, that was just a typo. :-0

Tefler

I got your list, thanks very much for those! :-)

Tefler

Not yet!

Tefler

Fixed that one too, thanks for letting me know. :-)

Tefler

Well spotted, thanks!

Tefler

T minus 7 for Chapter 95

Wookey

Calara nodded her approval. “It’ll be like a production line: Refits at Genthalas, armour upgrades with the Ashana, then combat experience fighting as a unified force against the Kirrix. All of those will be invaluable when the wider battle with the Progenitor begins.” Should be with the Ashanath or at Ashana. She smiled at Thandrun as he feel into step beside her. Should be fell into step.

ringill

"as she hugged Edraele tight." maybe tightly hugged or tightly to her chest,"

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

"portal between realties" thinking you meant realities.

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

It could go either way, since this is something Alyssa says in conversation and she may not be grammatically correct. It really depends on how Tefler wants to write it. Given the differences in education, I couldn't see Rachel making this type of error, but I could see Alyssa doing it.

LunarLilith

Tefler, here is a long list of possible edits and some typos I found in the current version. Hope this helps. The following lines should all have a comma added where noted. However, size was not the only thing So, what do you need me for Just show me where she is, and we'll get her her brow furrowed, and a questioning look in her anxious purple gaze. He propped himself up on one elbow, so he could I’ll explain later, and you’ll understand. “The Glowing Queen was the other Progenitor’s puppet, wasn’t she?” Basically, Chancellor Niskera had arranged He gently lifted her chin, so she had no choice but to look at him. It doesn’t help anyone, and it will harm your relationship with your daughters. practically vaulted off the bed, so he could stand beside her. That roused her, and she dragged open John eased her forward, so she was In an attempt to be magnanimous, he continued brightly, They won’t need the Quantum part of the weapon, so I’ll take that out entirely. Fortunately, there was a lift waiting for her, Other edits: an alluring beauty all of its own (can remove the word 'of' and have the same meaning) “T-That’s correct, Matriach!” (typo) carried her onto the big bed, then lay down beside her." (remove " at the end as it's outside of the conversation) “I very much enjoy pleasing you, My Lord,” Edreale purred, snuggling into him. (typo on Edraele) pooling around the Maliris feet. (need to add apostrophe - Maliri's) I don’t believe there’s anything to be overtly concerned about. (Would this make more sense to say 'overly concerned', rather than 'overtly', since overlty would mean still being concerned, but hiding it.) “Okay lets go again, you slippery minx!” (should be let's) She smiled at Thandrun as he feel into step beside her. (fell instead of feel)

LunarLilith

Here is a long list of all the possible edits and a few typos I found in the latest version. The following lines should all have a comma added where noted. However, size was not the only thing So, what do you need me for Just show me where she is, and we'll get her her brow furrowed, and a questioning look in her anxious purple gaze. He propped himself up on one elbow, so he could I’ll explain later, and you’ll understand. “The Glowing Queen was the other Progenitor’s puppet, wasn’t she?” Basically, Chancellor Niskera had arranged He gently lifted her chin, so she had no choice but to look at him. It doesn’t help anyone, and it will harm your relationship with your daughters. practically vaulted off the bed, so he could stand beside her. That roused her, and she dragged open John eased her forward, so she was In an attempt to be magnanimous, he continued brightly, They won’t need the Quantum part of the weapon, so I’ll take that out entirely. Fortunately, there was a lift waiting for her, Other edits: an alluring beauty all of its own (can remove the word 'of' and have the same meaning) “T-That’s correct, Matriach!” (typo) carried her onto the big bed, then lay down beside her." (remove " at the end as it is not conversation) “I very much enjoy pleasing you, My Lord,” Edreale purred, snuggling into him. (typo on Edraele) pooling around the Maliris’s feet. (need to add apostrophe) I don’t believe there’s anything to be overtly concerned about. (Would this make more sense to say 'overly concerned', rather than 'overtly', since overtly would mean still being concerned, but hiding it.) “Okay lets go again, you slippery minx!” (should be let's) She smiled at Thandrun as he feel into step beside her. (fell instead of feel)

LunarLilith

“Me and Athena are both drawing a blank" should be Athena and I, Athena is drawing a blank and I am drawing a blank. You would not say Me is drawing a blank.

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

I spotted some edits in this version, but I also still saw some typos. You have Matriarch misspelled at one point. I can go through the latest version and see if I can spot any other typos remaining before you upload it on literotica, etc.

LunarLilith

Tefler doesn't flinch from killing off characters we've come to know and it seems inevitable they will have a part to play. Thinking cinematically you don't show the gun hanging over the fireplace in a lingering shot if it's not going to be used.

Smart wombat

I don't know if I have missed it but have the Greys been informed that the fleet is delayed?

Lance...I mentioned the notion awhile ago that John was creating a sort of hive Progenitor with the girls , enabling their natural predictions or strong areas with physic power . This has given them a chance to in some ways surpass John in their areas of expertise , Dana as an engineer /weapons builder , Rachel medicine , Alyssa physic power etc . He is still more powerful & their leader but I think BSP keeping all the power to himself will be his downfall . Progenitors we seen / heard about were all powerful & needed no allies just thralls .

bigdawguw65

He nodded a greeting to Commander Alice Hoplander, who responded with a respectful inclination of her head, then walked up the steps to take his seat in the Command Chair. “Evening, Captain,” his XO replied, turning in his seat to look his way. “No signs of Kintark encroachment onto the Terran border so far.” I know Alice can work for both female and male but there does seem to be a bit of pronoun confusion here unless of course you're going for some sort of enlightened 28th century transgender vibe.

ringill

Thus far, we've seen really small snippets of BSP's reactions after some of the battles. What I wonder is exactly how much he can actually see. Is it just what his sensors can see; or can he, presumably as a full Progenitor, 'take a walk', so to speak, and see things like the battle underground on Khalgron. Does he have Calara's prescience? Can he heal the same way Rachel can? (My bet is, no, on that one) As powerful as the Progenitors seem to be, why do I have the feeling they were more "Jacks of all Trades, Real Masters of None"?

Funnily enough I actually marked the spot on the map! I'll create a new post, so you can see where it is. :-)

Tefler

I've been reading through this new chapter and have reached the section where the disposition of the Maliri fleet is being discussed. I don't want to spoil it for anyone but when possible routes were being discussed I looked again at the maps. Would it not make more sense for the fleet to continue into Ashanath space as originally intended and from there through to their final destination? The maps show that the marshaling point would be close to the Ashanath border and the other route being discussed would require traversing the entire length of the Maliri/Terran border. Isn't that going the long way around? I find myself really really wanting a 3d map.

Hey LunarLilith, I'm pleased to hear you enjoyed the chapter! Thanks for the great feedback, regarding the overuse of certain phrases. It's something I've been guilty of before and I'm sure I'll be guilty of again in the future! I'll do a pass to purge all the excessive repetitions of those phrases, so thanks for letting me know! :-)

Tefler

Another amazing chapter, Tefler. I found a few typos. I can either list them here in the comments or send them to you in an email, if you wish. Please let me know your preference. One thing I did want to bring up is a habit that I have had to deal with in my own writing. There are certain phrases that you tend to overuse. I didn't notice these habits until one of my editors or readers brought it to my attention, so I am hoping that my comments will help you in a similar way. The first is the phrase 'looked at', which you used more than 20 times in this chapter alone. There are a number of alternatives that could be used which would actually enhance the story by better describing how the look was given. For example, glancing at someone is very different than staring at them. Another phrase that I have noted frequently in all the ground combat scenes is when someone 'takes the lead'. Nothing wrong with the phrase, but there are other ways to say the same thing, and again some alternatives could add to the description. Your writing skills are superb and have shown marked improvement since the early chapters. I hope that this feedback will help further refine those literary skills.

LunarLilith

Tefler, Another amazing chapter! I did find several minor typo's, some of which have already been brought up and most that I think your editors will find. I can list them if you like though or email to you. There was one other thing that I wanted to point out to you. Having been a writer myself for a couple of decades, I know that I had to learn to stop using certain words or phrases too much. In this chapter, you use the words 'looked at' more than 20 times. You may want to consider some alternative ways to say that, since you could add more meaning in some cases by defining how that look was given rather than just sticking with the single phrase. Another phrase that has been used frequently in the ground combat scenes, is when someone 'takes the lead'. While the phrase works well enough, adding some variations on it in future chapters would make it less noticeable. The quality of your writing has consistently improved since the early chapters, and I hope that pointing out some of the tiny things like this will help you further refine your literary skills.

LunarLilith

Tefler another great Chapter. I really like how you incorporated the Brimorian Enclave into the mix at the end with Edaele telling John about their safe travel agreement. Since John was already planning on going there next to upgrade their shields it would allow the Invictus to travel with the fleet at least until contact with the Brimorians is established. This would open Telfer to any number of opportunities, like having the 2 assassins stay with them on the invictus so he can continue upgrading them. In case the meeting doesn't go well (as a suspect is won't from what we know about the interactions between the Kintark and the Brimorians) this could be the first time we get to see the Maliri Fleet in action with Calara calling the shots. That would be awesome!!

Kalen Turner

Yeah, right about the time the Ashanath finish with the second House Valaden Fleet so they can arrive in the nic of time, with John, to save the Terrans once again.

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

Something tells me John and Crew are going to have to put a hurting on the Kintark. Again...

Tefler, another great chapter. I'm amazed at the tidbits that were shown in this chapter. Here's to the author and his long career. Thanks

Great Creator..Tefler's is a Progenitor? Oh snap!

From Ch.80 John smiled at them and said, "Ultimately, I want you to be able to defend yourselves, but rebuilding your forces will take quite some time." He frowned as he added, "I think you should consider a new doctrine in ship design - your current ships are far too reliant on energy weapons. We can provide you new technology for ordnance based weaponry, as well as give you blueprints for improved engines, heatsinks, and enhanced scanners. I'd strongly recommend you incorporate all that into the next generation of vessels you start constructing."

ringill

I'm sure there have been one or two instances of that sort of thing happening before

Wow, yet again you deliver an amazing Chapter. I love all this Galactic Intrigue. I think the T Fed Brass my freak out about the Maliri fleet. Accusing John of working against Human interests might be a bridge to far. He can point to the fact that he saved Earth and the T Fed fleet at Regulus. If he were against Humanity in any way they would already be defeated. Unfortunately paralleling real life Military leaders often fall into looking at every thing as a potential conflict. The old if your a hammer everything looks like a nail situation. Hopefully the cooler heads well take up leadership. I can see some sort of schism or split though (again). Hopefully Niskera doesn't change too much if she ends up with John. Perhaps just a bit smaller, but would be sad if she changed too much and lost her unique flavor. Did Dana ever offer the Ashanath any ship upgrade ideas? They are so dependent on laser technology, they probably need to augment their weaponry so they aren't so ineffective if facing black hulled ships in the future. Alright, back to the keyboard Tef, we need more Chapters ;-)

VycronDyz

So damn epic! Another long wait for the next chapter!

Crom

Agree BigD re Jade. Been thinking same for last 20 chapters. Always thought that John would benefit from having a matriarch from each species.

Wookey

I was rereading comments from Ch 93 & Evan brought up a question about John & Alyssa's guides & how people mentioning how they had the "blue prints" of all the Progenitor powers & equipment & I answered that we only know that John had such a guide because we don't know how the other Progenitors come about , born or created . It got me thinking how did John do it subconsciously , how did he create teach Athena everything she knows , which she did use & is using to teach Alyssa if he didn't know it already (I doubt Pro-John helped in any way) .We've seen in the past he has had trouble using these powers but by now he shouldn't be doubting himself to this extent . He's an intelligent & confident person & shouldn't be this conflicted with the evidence he's seen with his own eyes. It's getting a little frustrating . On another note I agree with those who think Jade should become his 3rd Matriarch , she has the triple strand & her race has at least the beginnings of rudimentary physic power & once some of her sister are found & powered up she should blossom . I don't think Niskera will ever be a Matriarch because it would take John to create her thralls & he could just be making more glowing queens to confuse everyone & she also already took another male to bed ,something none of the other Matriarchs would never do .

bigdawguw65

Outstanding chapter Tefler , amazing to see all the threads weaving their ways , coming closer & closer to a whole tapestry . Hope the TFed Captain can convince his superior that the Kintark are up to no good in time to prevent a disaster but afraid he might be a little self-centered & officious to want to rock the boat up the chain of command ( remember him giving John grief before while on picket duty ) . Love the inclusion of some of the smaller players in giving the story more depth & a sense of reality . Not everything is grand plans & huge battles ,the human (sort of ) touch is very welcome . We have the lowly Corp. from Rachel's rescue Gibbons now a member of an elite Mech Squad & former Rapier pilot Lt Murphy (Leprechaun ) now leading a elite fighter group of Claymores one can only wonder what lies ahead for them .

bigdawguw65

Well, it seems our discussion about the bots becoming sentient was apropo: "The bot put on a sudden burst of speed and ducked under the sweat-stained clothing, neatly catching it in the hamper on its back. “Good catch!” he called out with a grin. To his surprise, the cleaning bot did a funny kind of shuffle back and forth on its tracks, while doing a fist pump with its skinny mechanical arms. It looked a lot like a zero-g football victory dance."

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

war helped pushed raw physical attraction should be push?

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

Happy Turkey Day everyone in America! (I am sure the Brits see lots of irony in that statement! LOL)

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

Tefler: Did my earlier mention of inter-species cooperative fleet ops influence you to include that short blurb about battlefield experience or did you already plan to add that into the chapter? Just curious as to if I helped you or if I just figured out that one was coming. Oh, and thanks for the Athena reference.

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

Another awesome chapter Tefler. Keep it up.

Well Kintark are probably massing every single ship they have for massive invasion against T-Fed, but the suprise may be the direction from which they attack, I personnaly think they will atttack from Brimorian Enclave mayby joined by Brimorians themselves. Imagine this scenario Kintark and Brimorians are ready to attack and out of nowhere Maliri want to sail their fleet through Brimorian space. Headache alert everyone :)

As always, an intriguing chapter Tef. Things are getting interesting, what with Niskera's ascension, and Edraele's plan to avoid ticking off the TFed admirals by moving the fleet through the Brimorian Enclave. I have to wonder, will the Brimorians keep records of a treaty that old, let alone even remember it exists? I would certainly hope that the Maliri inform the Brimorians about it first before the fleet arrives, so as to avoid the Brimorians getting the wrong idea and to give them time to confirm the treaty. Also, that was a pretty sly move that Terran captain pulled to catch the Kintark ship that was shadowing his cruiser. Very nice. I wonder what exactly the Kintark are up to?

Jedi Khan

Another outstanding and gratifying installment to this sprawling and complex saga. Thank you, oh Great Creator!

I tried to slip in quite a few titbits here and there, I'm glad you found them thought-provoking. :-)

Tefler

Cheers Nate, glad you enjoyed it. :-)

Tefler

Wow, nice catch! I can just imagine the Maliri picking up the Punisher rifles and thinking, "Yeah! These look incredible!" then not having a single round of ammo! :-)

Tefler

No, it works as is. Started in this context is basically the present tense of was startled.

“Can you gather up all the Justice Lasers and Punisher rifles, along with say... twenty thousand rounds of 10mm caseless please? We need that shipped over to the Maliri flagship.” The Punisher rifles take 20mm rounds, they also have the grenade launchers so some of them could be useful if the Maliri come up against a Juggernaught.

ringill

Damn! Good chapter! Every new chapter makes my day.

We're not quite sure yet. The current theory is that any sons John has will automatically be Progenitors, and as such, they'll have guides like John does. Sadly, Progenitor John is an evil prick, so if John's sons do have guides, they'll likely become evil pricks themselves, unless of course John and the girls raise them up the same way as John was, in which case the kids will end up facing the same struggle as John has, with the same risk of losing to the guides. However, my thought is that if John can choose the gender of the child, he can not only choose if it will be a Progenitor child but also what the child's guide will be like. Remember, he changed Alyssa to be a Progenitor and gave her a kind, protective guide rather than one similar to his own. If he could do that for Alyssa, he can do that for any of his children, regardless of gender. Although, there is a possibility that we're thinking too deep here. Perhaps John isn't so much worried about his sons being evil pricks as he is about him no longer being the only man in the lives of his girls. Perhaps he's worried that once his sons come of age, he'd have to give them the boot so they can't try making any moves on John's harem. Keep in mind the structure of John's crew and extended harem: he's the only man for nearly 20 women. It seems to me that Progenitors are exceptionally territorial, not just with their physical territory, but their women as well. They'd only tolerate other males in their territory as long as they know the males are harmless and pose no threat.

Jedi Khan

JFL you are spot on with this one. So,etching big is brewing in regards to John producing male heirs. Faintly remember this being briefly discussed long ago. Cannot recall if it was stated in the story or comments through the Patreon site. Was it male heirs always are born a proginator? And as far as we know all proginator are inherently evil, other than John of course. Which raises the question, why would John even consider having a male child.

MJHSharkbait365

Well it sure didn't take long for her to unify the rock people someone want to fill me in on why John is worried about sons I'm real confused and I noticed I ain't the only one

Mark Hall

*sent from iPhone, sorry for odd grammar/spelling choices, won’t let me scroll my post* A lot of thoughts to be made out of this chapter. John Semi-embracing his leadership role over the Maliri, his and Alyssa’s conversation about sons, John/Niskera’s leadership of the Trankarans, and no news from the admiralty but news from the Kintark/Terran border... net we see the admirals try to start a co flirt and get John to intervene, attempting to trap him in some way (possibly politically/morally as the have now admitted that in either space or the ground John would win).

Tefler, here's another potential one... John started awake and flushed with embarrassment... John was startled awake...?

Big Dude

Tefler, a very thought provoking chapter in several places. Not only with the twins scene, but also with Niskera and the Senate, and then the real bombshell: Ok, am I the only one who sees a major issue being set up for John in the future? The blonde nodded, expecting as much, but her eyes widened a second later. “What happens if they ask you for a son?” He turned away for a moment, unable to meet her probing gaze. Alyssa gasped in shock when she heard his thoughts and when he faced her again, she could see the haunted look in his eyes. “Oh John... I’m so sorry,” she murmured, her voice filled with sympathy as a tear rolled down her cheek. “I’m a Progenitor... It’s what we do best,” he said softly. Okay...things that make you go hummmmmmm.

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

That zip download thing is really weird. I uploaded the chapter as a normal word document.

Tefler

I like to throw in a few unusual ones from time to time. :-)

Tefler

Thanks very much Jim! I'm delighted to hear you enjoyed it! :-) Cheers for the compliments!

Tefler

That was one amazingly fantastical balling chapter it’s now 2-42 in the morning and I’m going to start this chapter again that’s how amazing I thought it was.your a genius tefler genius.

Jim lynch

And you're awesome too! :-)

Tefler

or perhaps "unsurprising, really, considering..."

James Glass

You are the best tef.

Joel San Buenaventura

Tefler I think you meant another couple of words here She waved goodbye, then crept into the room and onto the bed, moving with cat-like agility – which was "unsurprising really" considering her nature. "unsurprisingly real" maybe?

Big Dude

Thanks Arrowglass! :-)

Tefler

"prevaricated"? Someone's been expanding their vocabulary. I actually had to look that up.

Jedi Khan

Just started. Here's hoping it's another quiet day at work. Oddly enough, the file downloaded as a ZIP file even though it's not. I had to find where Firefox downloaded it to, then open Word, then from inside Word, go to the download location and tell it to open the file. Strange. Most strange.

Jedi Khan

Thanks for those! The middle one was Sakura. John spoke to her after the battle and basically gave her the spiel about having to make painful sacrifices for the greater good.

Tefler

Fantastic! I few typos I noticed: personality in any way you sought fit, you saw fit? I said almost the exact same thing to Sakura after the fight umm...was that Faye? taring wide-eyed not just as John, I am sure you mean at John.

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

I had a rough timeline which featured a list of the key events, like: Visit the Ashanath, visit the Maliri, etc. As I came up with ideas for things that I wanted to use as subplots, then I started sprinkling references to them in the story. A good example of this is the AI sub-plot (Nexus) I knew I'd eventually do a storyline about a rogue AI, so that's when I first mentioned the rule of AI, where they always turn on their creator (I can't remember the chapter number on that one, but it was a long time ago!). Then later, as I started coming up with more concrete ideas for how I wanted to implement it, I added another more substantial reference: the rogue AI cruiser in chapter 38(?) and the battleship Loki. So when I finally got stuck into that story in chapter 57 or so, every felt like it was all part of the wider universe and not just randomly crammed in there. I use that approach with all my subplots.

Tefler

Another reason to ride this addictive "story express"...WELL DONE!!!

Arrowglass

Haha! I'll check that and fix it. :-)

Tefler

Thanks David, that's great to hear! I never know how the non-battle chapters are going to be received, so it's always a relief when you guys enjoy them. :-)

Tefler

"we'll pretend that makes any sense" Why do you need to pretend? They just modified the transponder to transmit a different identity code. You can do that with present-day aircraft!

Tefler

Teflet, not sure if anyone has pointed this one out yet, but on page 44: "Do it... I want you to feel you filling me...” think you've got an extra "you" in there. Loving the chapter so far. Nothing like a good buggering to warm up a relationship ;P

ETNSosa

Yeah the political stuff tends to take a little more forethought, but it can be satisfying to write, especially when one of the schemers plans all unravel. :-)

Tefler

I'm glad you liked it and found the end scenes impactful. I didn't intentionally write it to generate that kind of emotion, but I've found that certain scenarios often resonate with people in different ways. In any case, thanks for the compliments and it was great to hear you enjoyed it! :-)

Tefler

For a non battle chapter, this is one of the best chapters I had read, the last scene was awesome.

Tefler, I have one major question with minor sub-questions. How far out do you lay out sub-plots? 5 chapters? 10 Chapters? The way you string us along is very "mystifying", "terrifying", "resourceful" and "suspenseful". An excellent writing style.

Big Dude

I need to check the timeline and I have lost the link again, it was a tag on the side for a while, but I thought that Rachael just had her 21st or 24th birthday in the last chapter. Someone please help me with this.

Master Laurent

So one thing that kind of bugs me. Rachel is a doctor, but only 18. Medical training would take years of effort, and if I remember right, she spent a few years living it up before she enlisted. When you have the conversation about her past in the ebook, maybe mention something about how she started studying as a child, and picked it up again after her younger teen years? I can absolutely see her father pushing her to study, if only for the prestige he would have received for having such a young daughter as a doctor.

Excellent chapter! I know that while battle scenes are designed to keep our attention, crafting political scenes that do the same must be a challenge and are a testament to your ability!

The Nightly Support Groups meet online.

Master Laurent

If you're using the Patreon app on an iPhone, the first thing you need to do is quit trying. The app is super broken. If you use a browser and the website it should work.

Long Live the Queen's and more to come. Anybody want to bet how long it is going to take before Jade is also a Queen of her small race?

Master Laurent

No problem, I'm pleased you liked it!

Tefler

Ok, With Deepest Respect, Tefler, YOU SUCK, I have not cried since Jade was killed and the scene with Niskera had me so filled with emotion that cried like a bitch the entire time I was reading it. Bravo! Bravo!! Bravo!!! What an amazing chapter!!! Your style as a writer has evolved so much and your ability to pick and choose scenes is amazing. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!! Thank you for your dedication to create such an amazing and passionate journey for the reader, you never seem to disappoint. *With A Big Grin* Now Back to Work on Chapter 95, you have set the stage for so much to happen and I can see an easy 150 more chapters at this pace. Looking forward to getting sub-plots as to the adventures with the Maliri Fleet getting the Refits at the Ashanath shipyards, keeping us up to speed on the Dramas with Niskera and the trials that she experiences over the next 10 day. Not to mention that I feel in the next chapter Jade is going to find out that something funny is going on with her sisters and that will be a great distraction over several chapters and maybe they will be reunited by valentines day. Wishing you and your family the best and Stay healthy! ML

Master Laurent

Thank you. It's great to hear you enjoyed it so much!

Tefler

You're welcome! :-)

Tefler

Still can't download this on my phone anyone worked this out without using a computer?

long live the queen

Thanks Tefler, just what I needed over the Thanksgiving holidays here in the States!

Another wonderful chapter Tefler. Now the long wait for the next one :-(

Anthony Kester

felt soo good when i downloaded it... now i dread the time i have to wait for the next chapter :p

TargetDrone

"She clung to him for a while, until finally pulling back a look of gratitude on her face." missing comma, or missing "with"?

zingowner

more please can i have some more soon

Great chapter, the best non battle chapter to date. what can I say I like battles with John and the girls winning

Perfect chapter I loved it - thanks

Kim Biel-Nielsen

Thank You!

Benj

"...still lying roughly were he and Jade..." where?

zingowner

Stay tuned! The answer will be clear in 9 months time! :-)

Tefler

dope

rich ed

Good god surely you can't have read it in that time

As always Tefler, AWESOME chapter! Well worth waiting for that final scene. It was epic. Congrats ;)

andrew finlayson

Score!

Now i jut have to wait 8 hrs until i get home from work today until i can read it 😂

Jared

Just made my Day

cheers mister

Braw

AWESOME! Happy Turkey day peoples. Me? im thankful for having the POV in life that even as it holds me back it at least allows me to laugh at the world as it passes by.

YES!!!!!

Mark Hall

Best news of my day! Thanks tefler

So I have a question, is maybe a concern. If John is going to be having children with the Pride, and possibly the Matriarchs (because you know they'll all want children with him), what will the children be? Will they be Progenitors? If not, does that mean that the now immortal (especially human) women in the Pride will have to watch their children age and die? If they're progenitors, are they going to have the same issues John does with the EP?

Thanks - now I know how to spend the next few hours

Kim Biel-Nielsen

thanks tefler

Wow....

Muledrvr

YESSSSSSSSSSSSS

Awesome! Thanks, Tefler!

Awesomeness!

Yeah!

Forbsey

:-)

Master Laurent

Thank you!

Evan

:D

ItWasn7Me