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Tefler
Tefler

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Renaming the story...

Hey everyone!

With the upcoming eBook release, I was thinking about renaming the story. It's been pointed out to me by numerous people that the story title sucks and initially made them think it was some kind of eating fetish story... (which it sort of is, with the girls on a high-protein diet!)

I agree that the title of the story does need to change, which then leads to the obvious question: What to call it instead?

So here's a poll!

Tefler

Comments

Maybe you can do an amalgam of some of the ideas. I like to think of it as "Blake's Pride: Genesis"

I'm currently on Chapter 83, and Devereaux introduces the crew as the "Pride of the Terran Federation." I think Pride of the Federation would also be a great title.

Have to disagree , John is the crux of the story , without him there is no story , no up grades in the girls , no Progenitor tech etc. While all the rest of the characters all figure into & greatly enhance the story it's John who ties it all together , all threads (including the physic ones ) lead back to him . JMHO also

bigdawguw65

Half of the choices are about a legacy that he is actively fighting against, and for me that leaves those out: Ancient Legacy, Unclaimed Legacy, and Progenitor; specifically. The other half of the choices are closer to the mark, but still only tell half the story. To me the story is more about growth, change, and evolution than it is about the inevitable conflict that occurs. My choice of title would be 'Pride's Evolution'.

Mark is on point with the reviewers. As for Kindle purchases, unless it's a series that REALLY hooked me in, I typically expect about $1 per 100 kindle pages. I have no idea how that translates into words. Now I'll probably get these just because I like them. Also check out Smashwords.com they're one of the higher $ to the author per $ of cost out there. (unless you're signing up for exclusive amazon distribution for a better cut from them)

Bit of a mouthful Carl, just Little Birds might be better.

Forbsey

I like Legacy for the series title, and Invictus for the book 1 title.

Dark Storymaker

I think the title should reflect the overall arc of the story. Since we don't know how things are going to turn out for anyone, you're the only one who can come up with an accurate title. But there are some good suggestions here. I like Legacy, as Shawn Rosenbaum described.

CrazyBastid

Lion's Pride. Play on words

Dennis Aston

Shawn, I think you've nailed it, The book titles you've suggested would be perfect. Book 4 - Legacy: Alliance and so on.

andrew finlayson

Is it possible that he will ever replace the invictus with a bigger progenitor ship. And have the Invictus be a subship like the raptor is right now? And would he call the new ship something like Invictus with an add-on?

ChrisW

Try this one more Time. This Is My first post but a long time reader, since ch. 21 I believe. I think you going with the John Blake Chronicles makes the story seem like it's all about John and this epic, wonderful tale really isn't. It's about all of them growing into powerful beings. I like going with Legacy, then a subtitle for each book. Examples, Legacy : Invictus book1 then Legacy: Lion of The Federation book2, Legacy : Building a Pride. That is my humble opinion but whatever you decide to do, it will be great. This is an outstanding series.

Hey Tef, renaming the story is pretty tough. There are a lot of good ideas out there. But the name should reflect the whole central theme of the story. As someone pointed out, it might not be possible to use 'John Blake's name in the title. So i guess it better to avoid that. 'Invictus Chronicles' sounds great but the ship isn't central to the story. I mean, it could be destroyed or Dana might possibly design a whole new ship from the ground up somewhere in the future, so the ship will no longer be their home. I think the central theme is about the 'progenitors' and you should stick to that. Maybe something like 'A Progenitor Epic', with subtitles for each book. ('Three Square Meals' for the first one though!)

The Invictus Chronicles!

I have another suggestion for the Title "Fixing your wounded Little Birds"

I have a few favourites chapter titles actually, but I only started putting in more effort with them after about chapter 58. Although I liked chapter 53 as well: Queen threatens King. King takes pawn - purely because of its ambiguous nature of who all the chess pieces were. Queen = Glowing Queen or Edraele? King = Progenitor John, or John? Pawn = Irillith or Edraele? 60 is probably my favourite (Wounded little birds), but I put some thought into 62 as well, so I'm glad you liked it. :-)

Tefler

Agree with The Invictus Chronicles. That was my thought before I saw the poll.

Big D Daddy O

Ah good to know, thanks!

Tefler

Reminds me of a description on the back of a trading card

Benj

As a prologue: I humbly proffer my thoughts. Alissa Myrant was in trouble. She had cut a rogue gang member on Karron, the asteroid she called home, in self-defense. The fact he was trying to rape her made no difference to his gang brothers who were looking to kill her. Her only friend, Sparks, told her the only chance she had to live was to steal passage on a ship leaving that dreadful mining community. In the space doc there were few choices: but one small cargo ship, The Fool's Gold, looked well kept. Alyssa slipped aboard, praying the Captain, John Blake, would not find her until it was too late to turn back. There was no way Alyssa could know that this simple, fateful decision would be the first step into a maelstrom of epic war between titanic forces of good and evil, Galactic Conquest, Sensuality, and Political Intrigue that would change her and her life forever. The change from 'Worm Girl' to Progenitor begins!

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

I agree. If you call it, John Blake Chronicles, John can't die. Ships can be destroyed and rebuilt (enterprise). Also, it frees you up to do spinoffs on other ships.

Benj

I like The Invictus Chronicles. He gets the Invictus in chapter 6 so it works for the first book and I think. You want to let people know that it is an adventure

WARNING: John Blake is the name of Robin on Batman. If they ever make a spinoff, you'll be in trouble. Maybe NOT John Blake Chronicles, maybe Invictus Chronicles.

Benj

Tefler , you've used many little subtitles on Lit that you can use for chapters , My favorite is "Do cyborgs dream of electric sheep " (CH. 62 /dealing with Shinatobe ) , one that struck me as a title was the first ." An unexpected tip changes a mans life completely " maybe a little to close to The Hobbit's subtitle but something along the lines of "An Unexpected Adventure " subtitle 'John Blakes Legacy' ??? to vague?

bigdawguw65

"The John Blake Chronicles: Three Square Meals" sounds great for the first book, and your idea of changing the subtitle with each subsequent book is good idea. But, don't you think the name becomes a bit too long?

Watch out for Google. Whichever title you pick, choose one that searches well.

Benj

In a more whimsical vein , "Have Quad will Travel" ? " Birth of a Legacy" literally since John is planning to sire a new race of 1/2 Progenitors , " Your never to Old " , "Teenage Mutant Vixens" on a more serious note I wouldn't use Progenitor in the title since it comes in as a key mystery in the story . All in all while somewhat repetitive in Sci-Fi circles "The Invictus Chronicals " isn't bad , or just "The Legacy " or maybe " How to Conquer the Universe & have a Ball(snicker) while at IT"

bigdawguw65

I like 'House of Blake" with the subheading "pride of Lions as part of it.

Tefler has already addressed the eBook solution. He is going to release copies of the eBooks to patrons who has paid at or more than $200 overall to the story. If it is for editing purposes they can do so as there would be a few out there who have paid that amount as Tefler can see the total payments of the patrons.

Forbsey

One more thing, and I'm making this post here rather than back when you rereleased chapter 1 as I don't know if you go back and read comments on older posts. Anyways, I love the new details to the chapter. However, in those first ten chapters, you kinda of don't start a characters back story until after John meets them. Because the events involving Alyssa boarding the Fool's Gold and Calara leaving Port Hercules are happening at the same time as John acquiring the Tyrenium, why not integrate that in to the chapter. That way you don't have to explain as much later on. And if you don't like this, I'm going to implore you to start with a prelude or Chapter 0 where it's Alyssa's birthday and the events that occur. You might even be able to write it from her perspective and without using her name. Also, do you have the books still using just 10 chapters, or have you broken them up differently? Last thing, I think that before you publish, you should post the book for patreon's who donate at least $25, maybe $10, to read and give you feedback on. You cannot modify a book that someone has already downloaded. That's it for now. Cole out!

DemonHunterCole

Two things: 1) I think that you'll get more hits by having Invictus in the title rather than John Blake. Plus, you could at some point go back and write a couple chapters of various key events if it's history. 2) I'm a fan of longer titles and/or subtitles as that helps describe what the book is about. That being said, I think you'll want a key word or two in the title (e.g. Space, adventure, harem, etc.). So maybe it's time for a new poll?

DemonHunterCole

personally it's the House of Blake as that has the most eluded options/books, being a 'house' versus an individual. i like the mystery, elegance and simplicity. (maybe i'm hinting at a whole family of adventurers et cetera). plus i just plane like it much more. PS: it needs secondary titles and chapter titles (like literotica and storiesonline).

keen_FlattendHedgeHog

Agree with Liam, Wookey and others, considering the current size of this work, and its not even completed yet. An over all title like Tefler's suggestion: The John Blake Chronicles, or the Invictus Chronicles, and then subtitles for each book would ultimately help with identification. Book numbering is also a good idea.

I still find having a subtitle for each of the books would be good for identification. I'll leave it to Tefler to decide that, Wookey had a good set of subtitles to get the brain rolling. Other book series has made the mistake of omitting the book number in each and can be confusing as to which one is the subsequent book, so having the book number added in would be beneficial.

Forbsey

Actually I don't think he is just half progenitor. I think he is full as the genes to become a progenitor are clearly present in his triple helix DNA. I mean it would be the most dominant 'wink wink' gene. Likely that he had taken some physical appearance from Jessica and all of the progenitor side. The physical appearance for differentiation between others of the same species

Forbsey

Yeah, that price sounds good. If you want, poke around Amazon, see what other ebooks are priced at. You might even be able to get a word count from the store page so you can get an idea on if the price varies depending on the size of the book. They usually fall in the under $5 USD range. Or at least the ones I've seen do.

Jedi Khan

I like The Invictus Chronicles

James B

I'm thinking of going with this for the first book The John Blake Chronicles: Three Square Meals Then subsequent books I'll change the subtitle. Also, I haven't bought any ebooks before. Does $3.99 USD seem reasonable? The first book is chapters 1-10 which comes in at just over 86k words. The following books will be bigger, probably 120k per book, so I might charge a bit more for them.

Tefler

I second William's suggestion: Progenitor's legacy: Lion of the Federation

Slight variation Progenitor - Unclaimed Legacy

Progenitor - The Unclaimed Legacy

The Adventures of the Blake Family.

Progenitor's Legacy: Lion of the Federation

I'd stick with one overall theme for all the bkks but with individual titles for each ebook that reflects what's going on in those chapters and since we've got used to shortening the name I'd go with TSM (or 3SM as some have suggested). So for the first book you'd have something like 'TSM 1: Rescue Me' and of course you can open up the namimg to more voting here! After all it worked for the Lensman series or the Sten Adventures (I would have said Lord of the Rings but thought I should keep it with science fiction rather than fantasy).

ringill

Ancient Legacy - no, Pride of Lions - no, Progenitor - kinda short, House of Blake - maybe for a subtitle, Unclaimed Legacy and The Lion Chronicles are nice. There could always be main title and subtitle for other ebooks.

Pride and evolution

TO be fair most titles would fit better in a medieval setting, they just seem that way. It's hard to get a reasonable title for this kind of setting

The title of an ebook might make a difference to me in the first ten chapters to catch my attention but in this case, i think changing the title is a mistake.established readers wouldn't recognize it and the best selling point of any book is the reader. and a new title wouldn't catch many readers any ways. at least not with the established demographics.

Tony

Just "Invictus"

I think Three Square Meals can still be used for the title of the ebook. A lot of readers are already familiar with it. Tefler can build up the hype that his awesome work has finally been compiled. Who else will promote it but us loyal fans. Three Square Meals: The Progenitor Legacy It may seem long for a title but as the popularity grows then new readers and fans will also call it 3SM. Think of it this way when the Harry Potter books came out it had titles like Harry Potter and Sorcerers Stone. Then all 7 books followed the long title theme but to the die hard fans simply it was simply Harry Potter. When the ebooks keep coming everyone will remember it as Three Square Meals. 3SM.

Chefy

The Invictus represents John, master of his own fate; captain of his soul. I vote for “The Invictus Chronicles”

Chester Orland

Ha. That's clever.

Jedi Khan

Or... In the Spacecraft, the Mighty Spacecraft, the Lion Screws Tonight.

From Curmudgeon to Conqueror, the Legend of John Blake

Adventures of John Blake

JP

I don't know if I like throwing progenitor out there though. It was kind of a major development when it happened and I feel like that could ruin the discovery.

How about "The Leviathans Call" -- Referencing the planer beings that seem to be the source of/progenitors for the progenitors ;)

Wounded Birds, or Fate of the Lions would be good series names. I like Three Square Meals as the name of the first book though.

Three Square Meals is not a terrible name. It will soon about how the story begins. I like it for the first Ebook.

I'm thinking that since the Invictus is on the cover for the first book and it is a major part of the story from very early on, the title should feature it. Something like "The Invictus Evolution Chronicles" or something like that. Think about it: the Invictus evolves quite a bit over the course of the story, and so does its crew, so the title fits. As others have suggested, each subsequent book can have a different subtitle after that. As a side note, the word "Evolution" might put off those who don't believe evolution is a thing, but then again, those folks probably don't read sci-fi either. ;-)

Jedi Khan

The Progenitor Legacy

to make a combination of Mark's and Magus' idea I suggest: "The Progenitor's Inheritance" book 1 : three square meals. And I lie a lot of Wooky's titles as well.

Progenitor Legacy

Lion and his Lioness

I think you should keep the TSM title somewere, maybe as the subtitle for the first book (something like **** book 1 : three square meals) since it describe quite well the start of the story with Alyssa. For the global title it feels strange to talk of progenitors our "the lion" since they are concepts that are introduced quite late in the story.

Blake's Beloved? Blake's Birds? The Lion and The Birds? Broken Legacies? Blake's Broken Beloveds? A ship is not enough?

Wanderer

I think that one is already taken by the 4 Eragon books.

David Shmilowitz

Liking either this or The Blake Chronicles. Definitely like the subtitles! Those could probably stay the same with almost no change. You can't really use the lion or progenitor since it takes a while before you even know what those are. The heritage route works though and can have progenitor as a sub title later.

Roethan

"Blake's 7' ?

I always thought the title was four square meals lol. (cuz he has 4 balls) lol

Old Terran Marines Never..... I can't say die because it may be possible that he can die, but leaving it to the imagination one could put their own end to it such as retire, get old, give up, etc. Needs to be something unique because so much science fiction is repetitive. At least this story has a angle that is different from many. I thought the current title was ok if you understood it, so perhaps 3 square as written in math?

donald abbott

It really depends on the ending. I kind of liked THREE SQUARE MEALS

TravelinTheRiver

How about "The Inheritance Chronicles"?

I would absolutely use "The Fools Gold" or something like it for the first book, absolutely. It's a great start. And make sure you use "Wounded Little Birds" somewhere, it's the best name you ever used. In terms of a name for the whole collection of books? Hmm. The Lion Chronicles isn't the worst, but I love some of these suggestions. Sidenote, how does renaming the story work with sites you uploaded it to that are not here?

God Amongst...Men?

The Species

I would say Lion Chronicles for the series as a whole. The first e-books could have a subtitle "Mysterious Legacy", with the one where John learns he's a Progenitor having a subtitle "Legacy Revealed?"

Some really great ideas here, thanks everyone! :-)

Tefler

John Blake & the Coming War: a sense of foreboding that somewhere down the track the sh*t is going to hit the fan. Book 1: A Fool's Errand Book 2: Wounded Birds Book 3: The Legacy Book 4: Terran Federation Adventures Book 5: Maliri Regency Adventures Book 6: The Conflict Expands Book 7: Dragons & Lizards Book 8: Unexpected Consequences Book 9: The Peace(s) before the Storm(s)

Wookey

The Blake Chronicles

doofus67

Well since sustainable food production is all the rage now how about Quad to Tummy? No seriously, the title should have something about discovering John's legacy, but since the Legacy is already a named ship in the story how about Star Hidden Heritage?

The John Blake Chronicles, with volume 1 subtitled "Wounded Birds" (covering chapters 1-10 with Alyssa, Calara, and Dana joining the crew.)

Progenitor - The Lion

Nickcap

The Fools Gold

Passage of Progenitors

Progenitor chronicles

Jared

This was going to be my suggestion as well. You beat me to it!

Invictus: The Trials of the Lion

Maybe lion Chronicles for the whole series, but have each "ark" have a different title?

Maybe "Progenitor Legacy" followed by individual ebook titles

Mark P

The Lions Pride

Kim Biel-Nielsen

I like this one! Original title also works for me, maybe original for the first novel length of a trilogy and The Lion Cometh for the 2nd novel and something else for the 3rd. So if you doing 20 books maybe 6-7 books could share one title!

Koa

The Lion Cometh

"... and One to Grow On"

Paragons' Pride

David Shmilowitz

The tales of John Blake and his wounded birds

Viktor Hauge

Birthright

The Rise of Blake

I'm sorry, those names are not good. Keep the name, or my two ideas are Invictus or Tales from the Invictus, and big dick space fuckery

Dhruv Patel

The title may focus on what the readers love most about the series. Beyond the tech and richness, we love the wounded birds to lioness stories.

Benj

Most ebooks are only relatively small and the average sci-fi novel is about 90k-120k words. TSM has topped 2 million words so far and with the rest to go until I finish the story, I can see me easily publishing 25+ ebooks. I'll probably price them at about £3.50 each, something like that.

Tefler

Can't vote but top one. Or original story with a racy cover like Friday.

Grimlakin

Original title imho

Anonamoose

Definitely prefer to keep the original title!

I'd prefer "The Lion's Pride".

I would say "The Blake Chronicles" sound awesome, but now i cant stop picturing john as anyone other than Vin Diesel

DeltaByte

Not sure I would like the title for each book to change I would keep the title of book 1 and just add book 2 etc.

William Wallace

Understanding a title usually happens after reading a book, ask any literature teacher! :)

I agree that any lion reference will take a long time to become apparent. Possibly 2-3 books if each is 10 chapters. Maybe something like "alien birthright"?

Timtom12

I am surprised Invictus did not come up in the title ideas.

Benj

I like "The Lion Chronicles" but could also see "The Invictus Chronicles" or maby "The Chronicles of John Blake". Not sure which is better.

Amathew2

You definitely have more than one book here. Keeping the title for the first book is something that I would love to see.

My first pick was progenitor, but then realized that John is only half progenitor.

Benj

Planning on adding a subtitle? "john blake chronicles" sounds pretty accurate :P

Using any lion reference now would not be understood until chapter 20-30.

DemonHunterCole

1. Original Title, 2. House of Blake, 3. [Word for Journey] + Invictus.

Tomliginyu

Man, after knowing the story as 3SM for so long, picking a new name is difficult! The options named dont really appeal to me though. Maybe something simple like: Invictus

No, that's easy!

DemonHunterCole

I like "Pride of Lions", although it is more like a "Pride of Lionesses with one proud Lion". I am curious how well the books will do, considering that reading the episodes as they come out is doable, but I would be seriously concerned to see a 20-book long story without knowing anything about the story itself.

D. D.

I happen to like the story title...it's what got me to read the first book back on Day 1. Maybe rename the subsequent books with individual titles under a "chronicle" umbrella.

CJ Mora

But really close second House of Blake

"adventures of the big dicked space elf"

DeltaByte

The Space Adventures of John Blake ... and each book you publish has a different second part.

DemonHunterCole

I'll second sticking with the original title :)

Blake's Pride

Maybe reverse it a bit, "The Chronicles of the Lion"? Hmm... Or maybe not... I'm not sure which is better...

Muledrvr

Original story title Please

clauskj3r

The Space Adventures of John Blake (and how he created a harem)

DemonHunterCole

I'll probably just call the eBooks: Book1, Book2, etc to start with, because there'll be something like 20 of them (or more) for the full series, and coming up with 20 different book titles will be... taxing. :-)

Tefler


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