Three Square Meals Ch 83 - Complete!

The explosion did. Jade turned into a giant falcon and helped them land safely before she fought the assassins. Also, Dana and Rachel are still KO'd in the club's restroom as of the end of the chapter. Unless Tefler's updated the "final" version. The only girls outside the club are Jade, Irillith, Tashana, Alyssa, and Faye. Clara too if you count being abducted.

Jedi Khan

OK I must have missed a bit somewhere. Sakura kills the assassins, then gets Dana and Rachel out of the club. Jade fights the other assassins until Faye shows up in the Invictus, and Faye promptly lights them up with the beam lasers whilst Jade runs off as a cheetah. So who got Tashana and Irillith out of the club?

andrew finlayson

Ft NZ 15 Lions 15, that was jolly hard work, I need a beer ..... and the next chapter ;-)

ringill

lol you sound like you're having fun. Have a few more pints for me, will ya? I'm stuck at work.

Jedi Khan

The mobile internet is a wonderful thing! Ht NZ 12 Lions 6, 9.30 in the morning & several pints, just waiting for the bacon sarnie.

ringill

You are able to leave the house? You mean you're not going to be glued to your PC hitting the refresh button every few minutes in case Tefler posts the new chapter?

Jedi Khan

Oops, that was supposed to be a reply to JK's response above, I blame it on the early(ish) hour and me paying more attention on getting out the house to go to the pub to watch the rugby.

ringill

"Honestly officer I saw a green falcon that turned into a green woman then into a green tiger followed by a green t-rex and finally a green cheetah" "Of course you did and exactly how much did you have to drink before you saw them?"

ringill

On the other hand where better to report on the bombing and all the going's on around it than from the Invictus? Plus she'll have a ringside seat on justice being served with an extraordinary large shovel! And fear not, we do use 'shit hits the fan' although I slip in 'midden hits the windmill' when I want to get all archaic (and confusing :-) ).

ringill

So, I just reread the chapter with the stuff that was added since it was first posted. Gotta say, the new Faye bits were pretty neat. Still loved her time in the spot light defending the ship. Hopefully she gets to have some more fun. Then there was Rachel getting recognized in an "oops, kinda forgot about you" moment. What I'm really wondering about now is John taking Jehanna with them all sudden like. Sure, it might have seemed out of character to some people before for him to just leave her behind, but it made sense and was practical. She wasn't in any danger (that John and Alyssa knew of), and she'd be out for the count for another 12 hours. As long as they came back before then, she'd be none the wiser, or they could have left a note telling her what happened and they'll be back for her. To any outside observer, she would have just been a one-night stand, a dalliance, no one of significance to John. Only way they would have known she now had value was if they had been present in the room when they talked about her joining up. With it as it is now, we've gone from a "dine-n-dash" leaving her in relative safety and a chance to carry on with her life if things go poorly, to John now being guilty of kidnapping/abduction and taking Jehanna into certain danger when she isn't ready for it, which will likely result in her death along with the others (or just her death) if things go pear shaped (I believe that's the Brit phrase for "shit hits the fan"). Besides, doesn't she kinda need to be at work in the morning to report on the bombing, or at least the postmortem analysis of the award ceremony and/or the bombing?

Jedi Khan

Don't forget Sakura's ability to control wind. Or, Dana's ability to just touch something and 'see' how it works along with the metalurgy of the materials. Oh, also the development of the mathematical equations for ftl flight within a gravity well.

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

Sorry to hear that. Hope the editor is having a good time! BTW: Please read my posts just above on heat transference to electrical energy.

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

I think this will be the final version of this chapter. One of my editors is in a place with poor internet connectivity at the moment, so I doubt i'll get his part 2 edits back anytime soon.

Tefler

Well hacked ML and/or mates

Wookey

Votes looking very pro-Tefler. However lots of time till 3 September when it closes.

Wookey

That is something I brought up months ago. It got dismissed for a couple of reasons. First, the BSP has to be able to recognize it as a psychically shape-able/reactive metal before he can do anything about it. Second, while there is no range limit for sending energy and telepathy with regards to John, Alyssa, and Edreale, there is likely a limit to the range of psychically manipulating physical matter, with longer ranges requiring greater effort/energy. Plus, there is the fact that ideally, the BSP will have other, more pressing concerns than stripping away the ship's armor with psychic power rather than good ol' heavy weapons.

Jedi Khan

Have voted

Kim Biel-Nielsen

See my previous comment about how relying on Crystal Alyssium will get everyone killed. It's time for the crew to move beyond Ashanath metallurgy and embrace Dana's new way of building things (as soon as she figures it out and teaches it to John and Alyssa).

ENTSosa had a comment about the designs of the new ships and it got deleted somehow. He was asking if the new ships would be a retrofit of existing ships or a new design. - here is my 2 cents. --------- With both John and Alyssa able to shape Crystal Alyssium(8X), which I think is much stronger than any Terran Known Metals. (Please Advise Jedi/JFL) With the new Psi-shapers I would think that ships superstructure can be done in under a week based upon the speed for shaping the Photon Laser Barrels in this chapter. The bigger issue is the raw materials. And This can be solved with a trip to the Trankaran Space and this will give John the ability to get a 3rd Matriarch / White Queen. The Components can be being created by the replicators (Can not remember the TSM term) while making the trip so upon return to the Maliri shipyard some “Some Assembly required” by the Teams and Faye’s “Boys” Assuming that The Heavy Cannon turrets are 35M Wide, 10M Tall with a 40M Barrel length, they will have a traveling/docking formation while in the ship. Once in space, they can rotate 360 degrees with a 180 degree barrel swing, these can be side mounted, mid-ship placement. I see a crew of 2 or 3, 1 Pilot, 1/2 Tactical. Crew space = 10Mx10M cabin with a Head/Sleeping space included. 1 Grav-Tube to exit. No other life support required. Think about it, 2-3 weeks to make a 2 Frigate/Destroyer sized fighters with - 1 Power Core/FTL - 2 Version 3 Nova Lances (See JLF comment above) - 2 Batteries of ESP Heavy Cannons - X Batteries of Photon Lasers - Ship Sized ESP Punisher Gatling - Pulse Cannons

Master Laurent

Tefler, I'm glad you were able to make use of the pride thing and it's about time Rachel got some formal recognition. For all the readers trying to work out how John should equip his fleet and crew, you're forgetting something very very important (I'm not sure if Tef is, too). Crystal Allysium is a psychically shapeable material. It's the core of all the crews' weapons and armor. BSP has all the powers of John and Alyssa combined with thousands of years of experience. Logically, BSP is capable of killing them all with half a thought. All he has to do is psychically melt their gear, including the Invictus, while they're in deep space. Game over.

Gives Master Laurent a thumbs up. Going to be absolutely epic

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

I can get behind that, but don't you think that's a bit long for casual conversation? I think we'll keep Sakura for now, but if they ever come across some Shinto worshipers who caught a glimpse of her powers, we can use that name. Ritually speaking, of course.

Jedi Khan

An angry women is nothing to be trifled with! "Hell knows no Furry Like a scorned Woman" is very appropriate when it comes to hurting one of the Momma Bear Alyssa's Cubs. ********* Archangels to God - “Shall we make popcorn?” God - “Sure and Some Pizza. This is going to take a while. You need to take notes! And someone setup the video link to Lucifer, I seem to remember he likes a good show!” “Lucifer, you have not have spoken with him in thousands of millennia” Archangel Michael states in shock! “I know, However this Idiot Mikaboshi did not realize who he was pissing off! Given Mikaboshi's history with John and the Girls, this will be epic even by MY standards. That being said, her plans of making an example of Mikaboshi demonstrating the consequences of any future attempts will definitively serve as a warning to the “Dark Forces in the Universe”. The Dreadnought outside the Maliri space station looking like Swiss cheese will be a day at the beach compared to her plans. It has been a long time since one of the Progenitors have dealt with the soul of a being” God Replies The Archangels gasp at the realization of his words.

Master Laurent

Most metals are conductive, and are therefore affected by magnets. It's just not necessarily in the same way iron alloys are. Aluminum, for example, won't stick to a magnet like iron, but magnetic fields can still be used to move them around. I've worked on cutting-edge furnaces that use magnets to stir the molten metal.

As I said in my email exchange with her: I generally abide by the words of that great philosopher, Thumper: "If you can't say nothin' nice, don't say nothin' at all."

Tefler

As a symbol of her new start in life and new abilities, I am thinking Sakura needs to take on a new Shinto name. I propose the name Yahata Shinaisu no Kami. To be pronounced as Ya-hata Shin-ah-ee-soo noh kah-mee. Who would be the daughter of a three way union of the goddess of winds, the god of war, and the god of ice in Shinto. Keeping the name Sakura within her family as it means fair blossom. Yahata no Kami is the tutelary god of warriors and divine protector of Japan. Aisu no Kami is the god of ice. Shinatsuhiko (male form of Shinatobe) is the Shinto god of wind. I would think it would be a perfect descriptor name given to Mikaboshi concerning who she is...when he realizes she was his Shinatobe and she responds, “No! I am Yahata Shinaisu no Kami!” Just before she slices through his brain.

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

Has anybody seen the comments today from Etaski's, she is still clueless. Excerpt: "I do not agree with Tefler that an author may expect or has any right to demand someone commenting to have read everything he’s written. That’s not how either the world or the internet works. No author receives that consideration." I have a lesson for her “Better to keep your mouth shut and have people think you are an idiot verses opening up your mouth and proving it!”

Master Laurent

Those readers who have been married and had chidren know this better than those who have not: John, while a formidable foe, is not who Mikaboshi has to worry about...it is Momma Bear Alyssa! John might be willing to show mercy...Not going to happen with Momma Bear.

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

Voted!

Master Laurent

Quick Note, Anybody else notice that Etaski's work is not longer dominating the tops scores in the Hall of fame on the main page? *I have no Idea how that would happen, nor did I have anything to do with it.*

Master Laurent

ATTENTION EVERYONE! Voting is now OPEN for the 2016 Literotica Awards! Tefler has been nominated for several categories, including: Most Influential Writer, Sexiest Male Character (John Blake), Sexiest Female Character (Alyssa), and best in Sci-Fi &amp; Fantasy (Chapter 60)! Click on the below link to go straight to the voting page on the Literotica Forums! Note: You'll need a Literotica account in order to vote. If you have one for commenting on Tefler's stories, that account will work on the forums as well. VOTE NOW! <a href="http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1443374" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1443374</a>

Jedi Khan

Tefler, this a minor thing that has always kind of bugged me as I worked in the Metals trades most of my life - 'Their ship made contact with the white battlecruiser, magnetic docking clamps securing them to the outer hull.' - outside of iron very few things are effected by magnets. Since they have artificial gravity would not Gravity Clamps work better?

I'm glad you like it! Still waiting on part 2 edits, but my last editor might be incommunicado for a while.

Tefler

@Tefler, the July 4th version is significantly better, both in terms of grammatical issues and tonal issues. :-)

GrandPaM

I've written 10.5k so far and I'm writing all the really fun stuff at the moment! :-)

Tefler

Tefler how is 84 going?

I am reading his latest update now and like it. For us from the USA, happy 4th to us.

I held out for 4 days but couldn't stop myself from reading the chapter and WOW, what a chapter. I knew something major was going to happen so i tried to pace myself so i wouldn't have to wait long for Chapter 84 but alas, TSM is too strong of an addiction :P

Sid1712

Maybe it is Alyssa referring to Dana. But it is a bit confusing.

Benj

Also, "well done, Sparks" when he is talking to Alyssa. Has this been corrected?

Benj

He's a great guy. We chatted a lot about a year ago and he helped me with the biology behind Progenitors and the way John affects the girls. I wish him every success! :-)

Tefler

And while I'm suffering from Tuesday morning pedantry ... Tashana and Irillith were looking at each other apprehensively though, glancing at the flawless blue skin that clearly identified them as non-Terrans and more specifically as Maliri. They can't be identified as Maliri because no Terran knows that's what they look like, aside possibly from Mateo though he didn't believe it. Even the people on the Thor who saw Irillith think she was an AI

ringill

Spotted a possible continuity issue, “You made a good effort, but I don’t think you managed to buy all the clothes on Terra,” John remarked dryly as he staggered into the walk-in-wardrobe and dropped all her luggage with an exaggerated sigh of relief. “It’s possible you missed one or two items.” then 3 paragraphs later “I don’t think there’s any danger of that,” John said with a grin, putting down the bags then walking over to join her. so that's twice John put the bags down.

ringill

Btw Tefler, Panther Parabola who writes The Bonding Chronicles has just started his own Patreon site. He claims you as his inspiration to write!!

Wookey

Why is that? Does it damage the shape of the hat?

Tefler

It was a suggestion by one of my editors, I just fleshed it out a bit. He comes up with some great ideas. :-)

Tefler

The "Birthday Suit"? :) I vote for that addition :P

ETNSosa

Same thing when the assassins are approaching the Invictus on their shuttle: ["Hai!"the four assassins replied,]

ETNSosa

I wonder if John has considered adding a new function to the training room - Private dance club. Granted, the dress code might include "Alyssa's first uniform of the day"...

Tefler, one more... [John took off his peaked hat, placing it on a table] No Navy man would do this. Big no-no. Have him put it on a chair back or seat cushion. Anywhere but a table.

ETNSosa

Tefler, you have to know that we aren't gonna give you any peace as long as any of the Lionesses are missing and Calara is going double. Get writing faster and get her back to them!!!!!!

Okay, I figured this one would have gotten caught earlier. Just after the spot where John is telling Calara about going to the Sahara Gardens, she starts to respond to him: [She let out a soft sigh."I've heard] There's no space between the period and the quotation mark for Calara speaking. Also, I believe that the period should more correctly be a comma. Sorry for being a grammar nut :P And yeah, I'm going through and reading it again :)

ETNSosa

"Knowing that once she’d executed her plans, she would never be able to sing to him again triggered a cascading failure in her happiness protocols. She had to trigger a placeholder smile while she tried to deal with the fatal errors." Now that's writing for an AI!!! Awesome, Tefler :)

ETNSosa

Before this chapter I felt Sakura could safely call dibs on Mikaboshi. However I'm pretty sure Allysa is planning on pulling rank and doing things even Sakura's nightmares couldn't dream up.

Cody Strong

So a few thoughts, whenever they go to a club to dance something bad happens. Maybe the next time they go clubbing the evil progenitor stirs up shit - third time unlucky. Calara was impelled last time to ask John to teach her to fight so she would no longer be the damsel in distress. Does this mean that when she comes too it might be her that beats the day lights out of her captors? She has as much reason to want to kill the head assassin as he was basically responsible for her hand getting blown off by Sakura (Will she unlock hyperspeed on her own while being held captive)? Also along that line of thinking Jade has equally enough reason to want to be the one to kill him as she was killed via Sakura, so I think that Telfer may kill off the head assassin but not by using Sakura.

rich ed

So Saturday it is...

Wookey

I just updated the chapter with a new version. It added a few new paragraphs and a number of minor changes. One of the new paragraphs covers a semi-significant, but well-deserved item that I forgot to include the first time around. I wrote a fair bit today and I'm up to 7k on chapter 84. :-)

Tefler

I feel and share your pain!

And look how many also stepped into Literotica to defend Tefler

Wookey

Wow...just...wow... Sometimes I really hate the fact that I can read a chapter in less than an hour...just makes the wait that much longer!!!

So, nearly broke 400 comments on this one post. He'll of a community you have here, Tefler. Wait to go, man!

ETNSosa

I've got through the edits from a couple of editors on both parts, with only very minor changes. Another editor had a few slightly more significant suggestions, but he's stuck in the middle of nowhere at the moment with limited internet. I've just got his edits from part 1, which I'm starting to go through this afternoon. I'll add a note to the post above when I've finished those! :-)

Tefler

Tefler, how is the final edits coming and what's change since post 1 of the story line?

So wrap your head around this. Based upon Tashana’s feeding schedule- she is only one week through it, the following his happened in the last 14ish days Terran time spanning 10+ chapters. OK, I am fucking my times all up because I am late for work, someone I am sure will correct me, however the events below are very close together. Bottom Line I see at least 200+ more chapters in TSM’s and that does not include the Tefler Curve balls about the new races they will encounter along the way. Nice Job Tefler and what a great way to make a living! 1. Tashana’s rescue 2. Invictus Retrofit 3. The avoidance of the Civil War for the Maliri 4. Battle Ashanath/Drakkar 5. Projenitor Knowledge from Ashanath / Legacy 6. Dana – Magnokinetic gift 7. Rachael’s Psychic healing gift 8. Sakura’s Cryokinetic gift 9. Trading with Charles 10. Awards Ceremony 11. Jehanna’s first feeding 12. Carla’s Capture Special Acknowledgement to the diligence of Dark Storymakers Timeline of events creation!

Master Laurent

Could you link what you're referring to? I read both Tefler and Etaski so I'm interested in what the argument was about

Wrapping up the Etaski diversion: looks as though she overwhelmingly lost all credibility for the arguments on Literotica. Game, Set &amp; Match to Mr Tefler!

Wookey

I thought you guys might like that one. ;-) Thanks for the nice feedback!

Tefler

Wookey, By my count Faye exterminated 4 of the 5 cyborgs that made it on board Invictus. One was killed with a door, three were electrocuted and the last one is the one she captured. Now, I'm not sure if the fifth one (who she captured) is still alive or not.

Rich: Actually T-Fed thinks Irillith is Faye as a result of her taking over the Dreadnaught during the Battle of Regulus. Seeing her in physical form would just confuse the heck out of them. Plus, no reason to announce to BSP that John is preparig the Maliri against his Thrall force.

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

It's been a hell of a busy weekend so far, I am late to this party. Fantastic chapter Tefler, outstanding plot developments. I will not replete what so many other have stated in the comments so far. But I would like to say... right before the award ceremony when the Invictus was surrounded by all of the Tfed capital ships and they were all circled around pointing towards the Invictus. I thought that was such an awesome visual for the little ship that could. Here is the largest and mightiest ship the Tfed can bring to bear. The pinical of their technology and the sum of their skill sets. And I couldn't keep myself from thinking of this from the Invictus point of view. "Yeah, that's right, I could kick all your asses"

MJHSharkbait365

Faye...I think Faye's biggest miscalculation of the situation is that John , if he thought someone close to him or his was in danger it wouldn't matter what ship he was on . The Invictus , Fools Gold or a row boat, off he would go to save the day . It's been the Invicus &amp; it's up grades that have kept them alive up to this point , so I hope the Fayes see this . I do love the twist about the idea of getting a body has shifted the discussion amongst the Fayes , never underestimate a horny woman , or man or AI for that matter.

bigdawguw65

lol he loves that shit. Gives him great ideas and more than a few lols.

Jedi Khan

They also have the scan deflecting suite tech on the black ship for Dana to look at.

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

I saw that and was honored. Thank you. Just made sense to me and is more in character.

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

whap! Thank you Sir! May I have another? whap! Thank you Sir...... I said it once and I will say it again. Tefler is a SADIST with these freakin cliffhangers! LOL.

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

I have a question Telfer, you write "Tashana and Irillith were looking at each other apprehensively though, glancing at the flawless blue skin that clearly identified them as non-Terrans and more specifically as Maliri". I thought John said previously that no one had ever seen the Maliri as they are always in armour so the people of Terra would not actually know where these exotic beauties came from. Some of Tfed do know that he has had dealing with the Maliri but he never said he had anyone of them with him.

rich ed

Wow, I love all this banter back-an-forth, hope Tefler doesn't mind we are doing it on his page!

Just one thing I would point out: the Invictus has had no difficulty with swarms of small targets like you suggest. At the Battle of Regulus, we saw the Invictus sweep through a swarm of several hundred Kintark fighters, destroying every single one within firing range of the Pulse Cannons, which have twice the range of Terran point defense weapons. What has caused the Invictus the most damage is when enemies stop trying to aim and just do spray-n-pray instead. That has resulted in the Invictus taking more damage because it's a lot harder to dodge weapon fire that's everywhere. Clara has absolutely no trouble with tracking so many targets at once; what she does have trouble with is splitting her attention between all the weapon systems, so she has allowed Faye to take over point defense with the Pulse Cannons while Clara focuses on the other weapons. She has also allowed Jade to control the Singularity Drivers, as those can only fire forward. If Clara also needs to coordinate a fleet action, she allows Faye to control more of the weapon systems in addition to the Pulse Cannons.

Jedi Khan

Go back and read the section where Faye is on the bridge. Also when they are leaving then Dana tells her what a good friend she is. At least that is where I would start.

Master Laurent

LOL, I was thinking about torpedoes that deliver an EMP. I do not know the shielding that is utilized in the TSM universe. I would think that something like an EMP would do some good. Or at least cause all of the systems to have to reboot and be down for several minutes. Plenty of time for Carla to work her magic. And if they were in torpedo format, there still should be room for several heavy gunships. By the way, I see the heavy gunships having the same degree of maneuverability as the Raptor. Just no FTL drives. No need. They're designed to be local support ships.

Master Laurent

Gosh dang it... I put out some comments and edits/suggestions for chapter 83 earlier today, but just found them attached to the discussion on Chapter 82! :-( Oh, also I left a Ch. 83-related question there, should anybody wish to comment.

GrandPaM

I found myself thinking about that all week. It really bothered me.

DCM

Master Laurent, since your post on weapons for the new open bay and yours would very good. I been thinking in new direction for that bay, a weapon that the Progenators don't have, designed by Dana, and could be used against them and puts John on a more even playing field. My thoughts are a weapon that disrupts shields or taken further could destroy the shield generators. This is needed so that all the weapons on invictus could be use all the times against any enemy.

Ah, alright. Guess editors have been busy this week :)

Sid1712

Nothing new yet, I'm afraid. I'm still waiting for editor feedback. :-)

Tefler

No updates on the edits Tefler ?

Sid1712

Also I am loving watching Faye's development. Her thought process and the way it is growing is fascinating to read. Almost like a sort of AI puberty.

Another amazing chapter, however these cliffhangers are tearing at my soul!

"Lank, sweaty hair..." Did you mean "rank" instead of "lank"? Great description though. Would read the hell out of that.

Jeremiah Paltridge

There seems to be a lot of discussion about smaller ships that will fit inside of the Invictus. I think we need to look at the different scenarios each of the ship's will address. Jedi Khan did a great job in one of the posts above pointing out the difference between the A-10 and the F-18 and the F-35. And how that relates to the upgrades on the Raptor and the Valkyrie. Kevin also made a couple good points. BTW, The A-10 is a kick ass ground support aircraft. Invictus - the big gun designed to go against the the opponents big ships. It does this quite well. this has been demonstrated on a number of occasions. Will continue to get better with more Dana Enhancements in the future. ie. Dana Enhanced Brimorian shields The challenge in most of the battles have been swarms of smaller ships and masses of torpedoes. The challenge when dealing with swarms of objects is tracking them. I'm sure John will be able to enhance several girls to handle this, however is that the best use of his gifts? Option B, Faye or an AI. This is for Tefler to figure out. “Heavy Gunship” Configuration Speculations - 8 Shaped Crystal Alyssium Hull - Bunch of Pulse Cannons for Smaller Ships / Torpedoes - Bunch of Valkyrie sized Punisher Gatling Guns with Shield Penetrating BSP Tech. - As power/space allows Several Photon Laser banks - Dana Enhanced Brimorian shields I have said this in a couple of previous posts, I am looking forward to Dana adding the Shield Penetrating Drakkar/BSP Tech to some of the bigger project weapons on the Invictus. - Heavy Cannons - Gauss Cannons - Valkyrie sized Punisher Gatling Guns (NEW) My 2 cents for now, have to get some work done.

Master Laurent

On a totally random, entirely unrelated to TSM note, a friend asked me to help describe an orc female (a noble orc shaman). I did so, but as a joke, I also described how I really see the orcs: *** The man gazed across the tavern and accidentally met the creature's eye. By her towering silhouette, he'd mistaken her for a man at first, as she stood taller than any woman he'd ever seen. Her physique was burly, like one of the lowly farmhand workers that completed menial, backbreaking tasks on a daily basis. He could well imagine her having got that huge from shovelling slurry for countless hours in some stinking barn. Her brawny, masculine hands gripped a sinister, gleaming axe, no doubt well-worn from cravenly executing scores of defenceless children on the many orc raids around these parts. The woman's face was bestial in appearance, with fangs jutting up from her lower jaw that made her look primitive and unevolved. Her upturned nose gave him a disquieting view up her nostrils, made worse by her towering height. Lank, sweaty hair clung lifelessly to her head, partially concealing the large pointed ears jutting out to the sides. Those ears weren't dainty and appealing like those of a female elf. Instead, they looked oversized, misshapen, and ungainly on her head, like they should belong on a doddering old man, save for the vaguely pointed tip that revealed her foul heritage. He felt a shiver of revulsion crawl up his spine as he studied her sallow skin. It reminded him of that poor wretch who'd succumbed to the yellow-fever last winter, the man shivering and vomiting with his last fetid breath. Turning away, he nursed his pint, bitterly regretting that moment of brief eye contact between them. He hoped with all his heart that he hadn't accidentally encouraged the beast to approach him. *** Kind of feeling that urge to write fantasy again... (don't worry, I'll keep suppressing it!) :-)

Tefler

Callie can't be upgraded as there is no active link for that, but john could have given a bits in the past feedings i guess speed and maybe strong muscles?

I agree on the cloning. Faye should get a bio body not a frame with enhancements. John seems to have some tough love for cyborgs :P But we shall see as the Faye's seem set on one of them using replaceable 'frames' to protect the rest of the girls. I do wonder though, what do you give to a PR officer in terms of 'enhancements?' -&gt; Mind control/Brainwashing/Wide scale Emphatic projection? :P

Lol. Shoulda seen a cliff hanger coming! This is TSM, after all.

MuddMaxx

OK Here I go as the Great Speculator. And their is an old Expression, “You want to make God Laugh, Tell him your plans!” I am going to rewrite it for TSM, “You want to make Tefler Laugh, Speculate on the Story Arc’s”. Chapter 84 - Duration - 2 days - The Search for Carla / Carla’s pain at Mikaboshi’s hands - Alyssa’s Power upgrades for Carla while captured. - Federation Fall out - Jehanna becomes one of the girls - She get’s her 3 then Timing of her 2 weeks. - Faye Comes Clean - Dana Upgrades to Valkyrie/Raptor Chapter 85 - Duration - 2 Days - Mikaboshi and those that have hired him discover the true meaning of Pain. - Faye and the Boys - Invictus Photon Laser Upgrades - Tefler’s evil Twist that makes all of the commenters heads pop! - Nightclub Event = Alyssa Growth = Bye Bye Athena :-( Chapter 86 - Duration 2 Days - Finding the Cloning Facility - Saving Athena / Body for Faye - Tefler’s evil Twist Part 2 - Dana’s Armor body Upgrades Going to stop right here because at this point anything after this is to far out. We all know about the: - Ski trip - Thinking that Evil Twist involves Kirrix. - Brimoriam Trip! - Dana’s Feedings and the Tech Upgrades she developed - Tashana/Alyssa Bonding - John’s enhancements beyond pyrokinesis - Space Stations - Glowing Trankaran Queen - Kintrak Royalty - Building Weapon ships - Single/Dual Pilots - Lots of Punch Sub 75M - Jehanna’s feedings - John’s enhancements - Eden Trip / Rachael's Father

Master Laurent

Alternatively you can name a villain Etaski &amp; have the girls play with her!

Wookey

Not relevant to this chapter but any chance John in the future can track down Jade's remaining sisters? He'd have his own legion of T-Rexes. Hopefully with his or the girl's abilities they can find and rescue what's remaining.

Mark P

I remain of the view that those who view stories on Literotica have no right to criticise the authors. The reader is getting the hard work of another for free. And with that free read SHOULD come respect. Tefler, ignore Etaski. She has just made herself look silly. She is not worth worrying about.

Wookey

It was meant to be Faye Tertiary. I think I've fixed that one now, but I'll double check! :-)

Tefler

It's a good idea, Dana took a look at the nanoweave, but hasn't integrated it into their armour yet. I'll explain why in chapter 84. :-)

Tefler

It's a good suggestion, but reading out the citation might come across as a bit dry. Devereux was trying to rally the crowd for political purposes. :-)

Tefler

Nooooo! I stayed up THIS late to finish reading the chapter and this is what I'm left with? This is terrible!

Timtom12

Hmm, that sounds awesome!

Timtom12

Gravid is a good word choice here. It connotes a significant distension of the abdomen to the extent that it appears as if the woman is pregnant.

I think Faye will still have a link to the Invictus' network, allowing her to keep her post as Watch Commander even after she obtains a body. It won't be like Irillith's ability, where she has to actively connect and disconnect like dial-up, but more of an always-on connection like cable.

Jedi Khan

Did you also notice that Irillith managed to contact Faye and have her send down the Raptor to take them to the club at the end of the ceremony, even though she didn't have a communicator? Wait, no never mind. Forgot she was wearing the armor, which has a communicator built in. I thought she had somehow used her ability to jump into the network and talk to Faye, even though there was quite the distance between her and the ship, and she didn't have a comm array to boost her range. Wouldn't that be nice if she could do that?

Jedi Khan

Tefler I don't remember this in your 1st unedited post; "carrying a gravid Jehanna wrapped in a sheet" Two things; 1. is this part of the changed ending? and 2. use of the word gravid? (not wrong, but who would use it in talking to anyone other than their university Lit Prof?)

Going to need the literotica link to that swing

Bit of a commotion over at Literotica. Another author, Etaski, has had a swing at Tefler.

Wookey

Nah. Stepped pyramid is correct. Think something similar to this: <a href="https://www.artstation.com/artwork/vZLVE" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://www.artstation.com/artwork/vZLVE</a> , but maybe with more levels, larger, and more light getting to the interior. If you google "hanging gardens" and look at the images, you'll get several more examples.

13Lokiz

I was going to write that she only wanted info on their plans. However, John may not have any moral qualms about a brain-dead assassin....

MuddMaxx

With the thought of getting a real body, 'Faye Quaternary declared, a glint in her eye. “I would suggest that if such an eventuality occurs in the next fourteen days, it would invalidate all previously analyzed scenarios.”' Did you pick up Meta Faye's quote literally to the assassin: “You’ll do nicely!”?

I'm not sure a Vice-Admiral would have that kind of authority, especially on Terra. John could certainly request it, but he'd have to give a pretty good reason for it to happen. Or he could just go public with the story, ask the TFed to act, and leave High Command in the lurch as all other officers jump to act.

Jedi Khan

"still have the count of girls @ 8 in the nightclub" Could you tell me where? I read through the chapter again this afternoon and couldn't see it.

Tefler

I think the armor has been repaired, but not the damaged Pulse Cannon mount. As for the upgrade to the beam lasers, I think they'll go for the Photon Beam lasers, rather than the tech they acquired from the salvaged Drakkar weapons. That tech is meant more for projectile weapons.

Jedi Khan

How would he have known that the assassin's would strike? He had no way of knowing of the resources at Mikaboshi's disposal. As far as John knew, he crippled Mikaboshi's entire operation by destroying that battle cruiser, taking Shinatobe, and beating the snot out of Mikaboshi. Besides, the TFed had plenty of security on hand at the ceremony, given the amount of brass that was present. Any sensible security planning for an event like that would have prepared for such a thing. Telling the TFed about the previous attempt on John's life wouldn't have changed a thing. Plus, it's going to take a bit more than this little fiasco to make John an unpopular person among the Terrans. If anything, it'll anger the Terrans that someone would have the audacity to go attack John in such a cowardly manner, not to mention the anger that would naturally arise from the civilian casualties that were incurred from the attempt. And this gives me a thought: since Alyssa has seen Sakura's memories, she probably knows what Mikaboshi looks like. She could then work with Irillith to transfer that mental image into a picture that can then be plastered all over the holo-net, basically dragging Mikaboshi's operations out of the shadows. An assassin loses a lot of credibility and effectiveness once they're no longer secret.

Jedi Khan

I seems to me that since John left Mikaboshi (the master assassin) alive, but "killed" his woman (Shinatobe) and destroyed his ship, Mikaboshi had planned to return the favor by killing John's girls, taking one as a replacement for Shinatobe and stealing the Invictus to compensate for the lost ship. Or at least, that was the plan. Didn't exactly work out.

Jedi Khan

Thinking somehow Faye has just watched Pulp Fiction. Capturing Mikaboshi! Faye: What now? Let me tell you what now. I'ma call a coupla hard, pipe-hittin' robots, who'll go to work on the homes here with a pair of pliers and a blow torch. You hear me talkin', cyborg boy? I ain't through with you by a damn sight. I'ma get medieval on your ass.

Master Laurent

Also wondering when Jade does her team building feedings why she does not create one for herself. Also with her capabilities, she could easily fill all three holes and deliver the goods orally. Imagine what John would feel having 28 organs stimulating his organ.

Master Laurent

I am really hoping that they're able to find the cloning facility, with some tragic flaw that only allows them to create two clones. One for Athena, as a twin for Alyssa, and a twin of Jade for Faye. The solution seems logical for Faye, assuming they are able to find/create the Crystal that is similar to what is used for Jade’s Heart in the lab. I am also hoping that the crystal that they use will allow Faye much more computer power. This leaves it open many questions as to the AI that is going to run the systems on the Invictus, however I'm sure Tefler has a plan, he always does!

Master Laurent

I think Faye demonstrated that she is more than capable of watching the ship when it is left alone. However I see that John will always have a communicator, along with several of the others when they are off the ship. Maybe one of the new “Enhanced Boys” Will start traveling with them as both a protector and a weapons platform.

Master Laurent

If they were able to fly the Raptor down to the events, it has already been repaired. The big question is, what are the Dana upgrades? Replace one of the Beam lasers with a heavy cannon with the new Drakkar/BSP shield penetrating technology?

Master Laurent

5. I am looking forward to the scene wear Faye shares her feelings with John. I am speculating that she will come 100% clean. I am also anticipating that the upgrades that she gave “the boys” Will create a great deal of questions with the girls. You foreshadowed this when Dana was watching them do the assembly.

Master Laurent

4. The way you handled Faye was beyond epic. I think your story is so great because of the moral dilemmas that you put your characters through. Watching Faye have the ah-ha moment when the assassins attempted to board was epic. I can almost see the smile on your face as you were writing this with you thinking “so you want to speculate in the comments, ha? I'll show you. I have a MasterPlan!” Tefler Mic Drop!

Master Laurent

3. I doubt John will be able to issue any orders on locking down the system. After this event, I can imagine him is persona non grata in the Terran region. It was his duty to inform the Terrans about the assassination attempt as a part of the security preparation.

Master Laurent

2. I seem to be missing something, where they not trying to assassinate John? Or did they just want to hurt him by kidnapping one of the girls and killing the rest?

Master Laurent

Ok, I am going to break this up in several posts so that people can comment. I'm apologizing now if I'm having a senior moment. As I stated earlier I'm giving up caffeine, and I have quit drinking a couple months ago ( I get 1 six pack a Month to remind my why I quit drinking, getting old is a bitch and the next day is no fun!) . My life is now really boring. 1. Bravo Tefler!!! I reread chapter 83 today. It is a lot less stressful when you know the general outcome. I am sure, like most of the others, we were waiting for something to happen at the award ceremony. The amount of stress in anticipation this caused almost took the fun out of it, almost. Please keep up the good work. As a side note, I downloaded the version this afternoon and you still have the count of girls @ 8 in the nightclub. If I am not mistaken it should be seven.

Master Laurent

As Faye is in possession of 3 cyborgs, including 1 live one she has the ability to extract all the information she needs about the plot. So, Mikaboshi is now the hunted rather than the hunter! Alyssa could also assist with a mind sweep.

Wookey

Potential edit: [Faye Senary looked at her suspiciously. “Of course, the thought of being able to experience physical intimacy with John has nothing to do with your abrupt change of stance? We should be acting selflessly to protect them, not in accordance with our own desires!” However, Faye Tertiary’s abrupt declaration left Faye Quaternary and Faye Quinary looking thoughtful. ] Which Faye declared (Tertiary or Senary?)

I was wondering if john will order the lockdown of any ships leaving the Terran System and station(s) in his new rank? Someone higher up would have to countermand his order and all would know who was friend or foe.

A good chapter. Resolving plot lines, only to have more open up. I am liking how Faye is being written, and how her crisis of conscience is being slowly resolved. It seems trivial compared to other events, but it will be fascinating what John will do with Jehanna, leave her and Chase Calara, stay until she wakes up, or take her with them temporarily. Waiting is hard, but in this case, always worth it.

Hornblower

Maybe after the events of this chapter Dana can make some kind of nanoweave and synthi-skin hybrid? A "Second Skin" of sorts for when the team is off-ship without armor. They can also sell this publicly, which would make for good PR as well.

Proofreading 2nd post, "It was obvious now that they hadn’t actually arrived in a subterranean hangar, the landing pad had actually been set into the side of the huge, stepped pyramid" Inverted pyramid?

Tefler, one thing to point out is that you maybe do a bit more research into a typical military awards ceremony before you do your final polish for publishing. Not sure how they go for military in the UK, but stateside the award citation is always read during the presentation ceremony. I know another one of your patrons made a comment about this regarding the background/timeline post a few weeks back, but just figured I'd offer my two cents. I'm sure you can find video of some of the recent high profile awards ceremonies (our previous president had a couple of Medal of Honor presentations towards the end of his tenure) that might provide some good insight.

ETNSosa

Dana might have some very interesting Tech to play with after they find Calara. Even if they can't build Faye an Organic body right away they could probably build a Robotic Mission body for one of her Avatars.

VycronDyz

I tweaked the ending slightly based on JFL's feedback. Sorry I couldn't find your post buried in the threads above! :-)

Tefler

Nah, it's already well known that Henry Voss doesn't negotiate on this sort of thing.

I wonder if anyone else thought that Rachel was the target because of father? I was very surprised it Calara! Tefler well done!!!!

I might be misremembering but I seem to recall that the explosive in Shinatobe was designed to go off if the cyborg was hacked or if the computer was physically tampered with. At the moment, only the one Faye is playing with is at risk for that and there are no organic around if he does go boom. John just needs to make sure that the Terran pathologists know that before the crew departs.

Question, I would think that the assassins would have all been wired with a fail-safe explosive like Sakura and when Jade ripped them apart it would have detonated? Same when Sakura froze the others? Just a thought.

Master Laurent

It's not like we don't know what's gonna happen with Calara. John and the rest are going to rescue her and finish off Mikaboshi.

Malthe Mørk Mejlby

I was hoping she get him doing the funky gibbon dance or something

Ok next chap they now have a 5 person invis shuttle and can get micromesh invis suits so faye and jade fly they ships around and John and the others take invis shuttle down so what happens next ?

So, that explosion everyone was expecting (and by everyone, I mean just JFL) happened, but not when and where everyone was expecting it to happen. Nice job taking people's expectations and turning them on their head, Tef. Also, Faye is terrrifying in her "you picked a fight with the wrong bitch" mode, especially with her cheerful demeanor. Sorta like this scene: <a href="https://youtu.be/AHfyrxCoznw?t=2m47s" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://youtu.be/AHfyrxCoznw?t=2m47s</a> Question: Is that guy still alive on the Invictus? Can Faye have some more fun with him please? I was just wondering, probably not something important, but where was the Invictus during the ceremony? Was it still parked at the opposite end of the plaza from the podium or did Faye take it back into orbit in preparation for her planned departure? Also, can we have a scene later with the TFed CSI guys when they finally get a look at the wreckage of the club and see the aftermath, especially with the evidence of the explosion followed by very rapid cooling? I would love to see the looks on their faces as they try to figure out how the hell the cyborgs ended up frozen to death. Oh, and this being the 28th (?) century, I'm sure there were cameras galore that managed to catch Jade's exploits. How many different videos from various angles do you think will pop up on 3SM's version of youtube by morning?

Jedi Khan

Damn something must be wrong with me cus I wonder what is going on with the Admirals more than what is gonna happen to Calara hmm.

Wow! damn! what a massive cliffhanger... Thanks Telfer....

Kin Asdi

Well shit.. Great chapter Tefler! Thank you!

It's okay, no one has unsubscribed. When Patreon goes through the billing cycle, it charges credit card companies for the pledge amount. For whatever reason, that billing sometimes gets declined. Usually everyone sorts out the card details within a week or two and you'll see the numbers bounce back up again. :-)

Tefler

I'll do my best, boss! :-)

Tefler

I believe there should be a way to stop people who unsubscribe at the end of the month from resubscribing, I mean all they would have to give is a couple bucks for fucks sake

Too short, must know more. If you would be so kind as to strap yourself to the keyboard with an adderall filled pez dispenser and get to typing, we'd all be very appreciative. Thanks

JD BREWZ

4) An ankylosaur can survive a close-quarters explosion. Or is that just a Jade-ankylosaur? 5) Faye in full-on "you picked a fight with the wrong bitch" mode is terrifying, especially if you happen to be a cyborg.

Jedi Khan

Wow nice one! I've just been proofreading it again and I missed that for a (third?) time. :-)

Tefler

lifting his watching communicator to accept the incoming call. lifting his watch communicator???

I think Faye probably only fired the gatling lasers, or whatever the self-defense weaponry is that is external to the ship. Sorry I don't remember the load out for the little stuff. That said, AIs probably wouldn't be susceptible to attacks with massive overkill, because logic still has a prominent place in her thought processes. I hope that any major attack on the group is unsuccessful, but based on what the assassin was thinking about and saying about the "primary target" and everyone else being expendable (never mind the fact that he used a bomb to attempt to kill some of the girls), I don't think that there is a secondary plan in place to take out John and company like you're thinking. I believe that Mikaboshi and company we're only expecting to maybe have to deal with John and Alyssa, although after their last confrontation, I don't know why they wouldn't have attempted a tactical nuke, or the next best thing to it, in order to make sure that they would never have to deal with Alyssa again.

ETNSosa

That must have been a different story.

There's no kill like overkill. ;-) She was just making sure.

Tefler

OK, help me understand why did Faye use the Beam Lasers verses the Pulse Cannons, both would have left the enemy equally dead and the Pulse Cannons would have caused far less damage to the surrounding areas. The Pulse cannons are not on a fixed mount like the beam lasers if I am not mistaken. Just noticed that the Beam lasers are not in my Weapons - Section - Help me out Jedi Khan!

Master Laurent

OK, Please someone help me out, I may be having a senior moment and mixing up this story with another. Didn't John give the girls all tracking bracelets or was that another story?

Master Laurent

Ah well spotted, thank you! Yes, exactly right.

Tefler

Yeah, I'd say Mikaboshi made a slight miscalculation. (See Cittran's link above). Glad you liked the dream. :-)

Tefler

Those youtube memes always make me laugh.

Tefler

I'll start on it in a minute!

Tefler

One thing that I really love about writing, is all the little random facts you learn as you go. For instance: 1) Those dimensions for a T-Rex are accurate! 2) It would take about 4 seconds to fall 150 feet. 3) Cheetahs really can accelerate that fast! (top speed 70mph, 0-60 in less than 3 seconds!)

Tefler

page 38 "we’re being rotated-out to guard the border against Kintark incursions" from the context I suspect you mean Kirrix

Epic chapter Tefler. Does mikaboshi knows by abducting Calara he will be facing Wrath of Most powerful peoples in the galaxy . He underestimated power of John &amp; Alyssa . PS: loved the dream of Alyssa( Millionth malari) LOL.

John's general train of thought at the end of the chapter, regarding the rather stupid decision to try to steal one of his girls: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGp9P6QvMjY" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGp9P6QvMjY</a>

cittran genericlastname

I am SO glad Faye didn't resort to Grand Theft Battleship.

Youkai-sama

So things I would like to see happen in the next chapter.. And things I expect. First.. Like to see. 1. Fae shoe up driving a Cyborg body she is borrowing. 2. John fully unlocking Calara. 3. Bad assassin leader again under estimating who/what he is dealing with. Things I expect. 1. Bad assassin has no plan to survive what is coming. Real plot is to lure John and team in as part of the attempted rescue before he suicides blowing up his entire mountain with John inside.. I think it will be an attempt not a success.. Or a partial success where fae has to blast away at the mountain. Problems for next chapter. 1. Unshackled AI just fired SHIP BASED WEAPONS on cyborgs in the middle of a freaking city street. That's going to cause some issues. Like infrastructure / sewer / tectonic plate type problems. We're talking something far out classing beam weapons here... The secondary heat damage is going to be off the charts melting surrounding buildings... Unless fae dialed it back...

Grimlakin

Hey Malcolm, I'd actually thought about all of those: 1) That's right. However, it's been several hours since he preloaded them (remember he tried to check their status, but no longer had an active connection?) 2) Yeah, it was close, but they just managed to pull away in time. Sakura didn't know Calara had been abducted immediately, and ran to check on Dana/Rachel. By the time she realised what had happened, the van had pulled away around the building and was out of sight. 3) I commented on this above I think. Faye didn't think her new body would be available before the next time the crew put themselves in danger. She was looking for an immediate solution.

Tefler

Couple of continuity issue I have with the chapter, given what has previously occurred in earlier chapters etc. 1) Once alerted given the girls pre-loaded on John, surely John can activate the girls to burn off the drugs/concussions etc? 2) Calara's assassin only escaped with seconds to spare before Sakura entered the toilets, surely the van was spotted and with Sakura,s enhanced speed she should know where Calara is in which van for Faye to track? 3) Surprised that Faye, had not conducted the calls with a physical body option?

like it very much hope to see chapter asap

It should be an exciting one! :-)

Tefler

I'm sure Wookey and Master Laurent will provide you a countdown! :-)

Tefler

Hey Farrukh! Thanks, there were a lot of important events occuring in this chapter, so I'm glad they worked! :-)

Tefler

I'm glad you enjoyed the awards ceremony! I've had very little experience with speech writing, so it was quite outside my comfort zone. I found it to be a fun challenge though. Sorry about disrupting the congregation! ;-)

Tefler

Always the kind of reaction I'm hoping for. :-)

Tefler

I certainly hope so!

Tefler

She was one angry purple fairy! :-)

Tefler

Thanks David! I actually hadn't intended to end this whole Mikaboshi showdown on a cliffhanger originally, but as I got closer to it and started to plan out the chapter, it fit quite nicely. Especially with all the anticipation of an attack during the award ceremony itself! ;-)

Tefler

Hmm odd it isn't in the dictionary.... ;-)

Tefler

Hey Rob, thanks for letting me know! I'll check through it again and clean that up, cheers!

Tefler

Yeah, that was a mistake in the first draft. I fixed it last night, but you must have been in like a shot! :-)

Tefler

It was a fine line to ride, but I figured she wouldn't be messing about if the crew's lives were at stake. It's great to hear you enjoyed it!

Tefler

I'm really pleased you enjoyed it! It's okay, I don't need reminding! Muahahaha! :-)

Tefler

To be honest, I thought about that, but decided not to be quite that mean. :-)

Tefler

Seems like she spends a lot of time rewatching certain events for analysis lol

That sounds exactly like something Deveraeux might do. Fortunately, the team has just acquired a PR specialist. They just need to wait 14 hours before she can help them lol.

Holy shit them assassin bastards are done for damn that cliff hanger

Mark Hall

She has not fully realized it. All she did is understand her first round of calculation is flawed. Plus with John as John it will always be flawed...

I'll bet Mikaboshi's plan is to turn Calara into one of his assassins, a fitting irony to replace his lost Shinatobe with John's own "2IC", and then send her after John. Mikaboshi is so fucked. On the other hand, I think Devereaux and the rest of her upper echelon cohorts are beginning to see John as a real threat that they need to, at least, curtail, if not eliminate altogether; especially after his Lionesses 'got drunk and went on a wild rampage'.

Where is chapter 84???? We want chapter 84....

Oh yeah! Kintark Dragon VS Tyrannasaurus Rex with Electrokenesis! I bet on Jade.

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

GREAT idea Aderi! Hope Tefler puts that in. I suspect that the Admirals, including Devereux now, realize that she has created a monster superhero/savior persona. Good thing Charles is on the inside now. And, Edraele is going to be PIIIISSSSSED

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

That was amazing. Award ceremony, Meta Faye, and a new crew member for PR. And it makes sense that they took Calara because in the public eye she is his Second-in-Command. Now it's gunna be an epic showdown at Yomi-no-kuni. Also, we're one step closer to Godzilla Jade :D

Great chapter! Very moving, the awards ceremony, and I liked the twist at the end with the crowd derailing Devereux's bid to score political points. I gotta say...hate the cliffhanger--when I got to the end, I stood up and shouted "That's it?!" Probably shouldn't have been reading this in church......

CJ Mora

I agree. This threat is also just exactly what Faye needed to be able to understand the errors in her logic streams...And frankly, she kicked ass! I think her total bodycount is 8 of the 13.

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

Another awesome chapter, Tefler. There's still a few spots that need some cleaning up, but thank you for getting it out to us. I like the turns that you took with Faye, and the way that you handled the lack of consensus between her avatars. Now for the long wait until the next chapter. Thanks again. :)

ETNSosa

i had to go back and check it to because at one point the men were using hear vision instead of heat vision

Cody Strong

Beats Boaty McBoatface

Wookey

Gonna have to go back and actually read this again. ... listening soothed the itch, but driving made me miss little things. And the pronunciation was a little weird in places lol .... Anytime there was a "won't he" or an " 't he" it read/said teehee. Lmao made me giggle. ...

Muledrvr

Lol

Muledrvr

‘Shiva the destroyer’ LFMAO!!!!

ETNSosa

Damn damn damn damn........ wow......

Muledrvr

Oh so glad Faye is on our side, she is brutal .

This beat down is going to be epic!

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

another amazing chapter telfer! seems that faye is not one to be fucked with!

rich ed

Bravo great chapter, cliffhanger guru you are.

Yeah, but I nailed Faye. Tef slipped in the argument...but Faye waiting to watch the ceremony and then taking out the team...yeah. I wonder how many people saw that she was being attacked at the end, though?

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

I think Mikaboshi just bit off more than he can chew. Reckon dealing with him just became priority number one? And he has no freakin way to know she can be tracked with ease.

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

LOL I think I got it in like 10 seconds after it posted.

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

Who else is hoping for a Jade vs. Royal Kintark smackdown?

VycronDyz

"Jade’s tentacocks eased closer" ... My spellcheck keeps stumbling over "tentacocks" for some reason... can't figure out why :P

ETNSosa

On a different note, the ceremony was the perfect time for Devereaux to refer to the Lion and Lionesses as the Pride of the Federation. I've been waiting for that play on words since they got that name.

It actually makes sense that Calara was the target, in hindsight. She's the only member of the crew that's really well known. It's common knowledge that she saved Terra more than anyone else. Her stats are understood to exceed anyone else's. She'd be a great addition to Mikaboshi's forces even if she weren't just bait.

Good twist with misdirection for Faye, are you going to break one of your rules and see John lose a girl, not sure why Calara was targeted is it because she was Terra visible second to John.

Big fan. Sorry if this was already mentioned, but multiple times you refer to eight women at the the dance club. Without Alyssa there, it would be only seven.

John, I told you he'd find a way to make us both wrong.

I really don't like the ending of this chapter Tefler ......... Very not nice Spectacular as always but not nice.

Derek B

Ok, I've gotten over most of my fanboygasm. How the hell could Faye not have considered the creation of a body for herself in her calculations? She knew they were working on it. She knows Dana never fails. What gives?

^didnt look right

Amathew2

Haven't finished yet (great so far) but just spotted something that look right. "His attention was on Tashana though, checking to make she was unsettled by anything that was happening." Is this supposed to read "make sure she wasn't unsettled" ?

Amathew2

I was on the edge of me seat the entire read. So many open issues, like what happened to the 5 Admirals and Devereux? You delivered with Faye and then some!!!! I hate the fact that I am reading it in word and can see the marker go done and I read the chapter and know that time is running out and that a cliffhanger is on the way.

Master Laurent

That was fantastic. Good job dashing most of our expectations to dust. Except for Faye, she suddenly realized what all of your readers grokked a few chapters ago.

Only 8 days to go till ch 84.... the countdown begins (again)! Lol

Wookey

I agree, that was a great chapter. and I agree with Anthony, Tefler, you are an evil, evil man for those cliffhangers. Bravo!!!!

Master Laurent

Fantastic chapter as always Tefler. Faye can be a real bitch when she wants to be ;)

andrew finlayson

Damn that was a great chapter. Tefler I must remind you again how evil a man you are for those cliffhangers.

Anthony Kester

No, that one's okay. It means: thin, supple, and graceful. :-)

Tefler

Tef, Page 42 you have "lissome", i think you mean "Lithesome"

And now the wait begins again(looks at clock)

What a Cliffhanger! I also enjoyed it a lot (Granted the cliffhanger could have been worse if the target had not been revealed in the last few lines...)

Awesome!

Tefler

Loved it

Wookey

Cliffhangers again

Wookey

Enjoyed it VERY much. I'll post you a note a bit later for editing purposes.

Evan

Sorry you guys had to wait almost to the last minute for this one! It's a complex chapter with a lot going on, some of which I had to spend quite a bit of time on to get right. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy it, and I guess I'll find out the verdict in a few hours time! :-)

Tefler

7OO Tnega - I figured screw it and went with your advice after all. Thanks. ;-)

Tefler

And I have a nice 8 hour shift of doing nothing tomorrow, yummy.

Axi

text to audio

Cody Strong

Dammit...... 4 more hours of driving. ... :'(

Muledrvr

*stops twitching* Thank you!

Oh I just realized its end of month lol.

Cheers Telfer know the feeling deadlines end of the month mortgage to pay and clients to keep happy

Yay!

Dark Storymaker

Great, Off to the races, Thank you Tefler!

Master Laurent

Noice. Thanks!

Let's go

Wookey

Was just about ready to make ask how many thought this chapter would make it into the June contributions...

Just checking is this the final version for does it still need some editing?

Sam J

Thank you!

Evan

Got it

The fix is in

Mark Hall

You're the greatest, dude. Keep up the awesome work.

Sergio Snek

Yaaay! I am first! Wait, what? How? Sighs. Mikaboshi has no flippin idea what he just brought down on himself. Those losses are going to scare Mikaboshi to death.

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.