Chapter 79 preview... the grand finale to the Battle of Ashana!

Although I started reading TSM after reading Tales From Mist World on SOL. the sexy times were a surprise :P

sneaky man

Yeah, Tefler lured us in with the sex then switched to characters and relationships. Have seen it all too often. LOL

Wookey

Actually there is a lot of character development and psychology and foreshadowing in most of the sex scenes

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

LOL! Same here! I sometimes skip the sexes scenes to get back into the action/drama

George41

I just read it, thanks! I'll check that link out.

Tefler

Tefler, just wanted to say your story writing is great. I first started reading you on Literotica and while obviously based on the name of the site I was there for erotic literature, your story quickly took off to the point where I actually started skipping the sex scenes to read more action and dialogue.

I'm planning to bundle them up into roughly 120k word books. I'm sure some of the chapters won't group up all that elegantly, especially for some of the really big ones, but I can rejig it a bit when I look at them. :-)

Tefler

Tefler, Did check the message I sent earlier today. There may be a like site in UK for you.

Tefler are you planning on selling each chapter as a separate ebook or is it each story arc?

That's right! I'm planning to maintain the same kind of pace with TSM for the next month or so, but I really want to focus on converting the early books into ebooks before some ahole copies my work! Once that's out the way, then I'll be able to pick up the pace as I go through to the finish. Not having to work full time during the day is already paying off... I'm not writing most of the story while half falling asleep! :-)

Tefler

so you are full time now ???? nice

Yep, I'm all done, just waiting for the editors to get back to me! :-) I've made a start on chapter 80 while I'm waiting. I've written about 3k so far.

Tefler

from .literotica. today I just finished the second half and I've handed that over to my editors. I'll probably have the first pass on editing completed by tomorrow, then I'll post it on my site. After that, it'll take another day or two for the editors to give me their detailed feedback and I'll make those changes as soon as I receive them. Mid-week next week is probably the most likely, so, May 31st if all goes to plan? Tefler

T, isn't the editing on part 2 taking longer than usual?

I'd say green is the Lenarans, aka Nymphs. The Legacy being Meal'Neraks ship also puts question to the idea of him being Johns father.

Fair enough .... like I said, pedantic ;)

andrew finlayson

See my reply above. :-)

Tefler

Jedi, that's my point exactly. Dana could not have seen the tubes in the Legacy, so she saw them somewhere on Ashana. And THOSE were Dana's inspiration .... not those on the Legacy. Like I said, pedantic .... but its been bugging me since I first read those words.

andrew finlayson

That's good to hear! I was making some adjustments to writing without using so many commas, so there were a few teething issues as I switched styles to accommodate that.

Tefler

Sounds like someone needs to reread the chapter where the crew first visits Ashana. I believe that would be somewhere in the 20-30 range, I forget the exact one.

Jedi Khan

"The Ashanath had installed grav-tubes in the Legacy and she recognised them immediately as the inspiration behind Dana’s upgrades to the Invictus". Sorry to be pedantic, but this doesn't make sense. The grav tubes in the Legacy can't be Dana's inspiration, as she had never seen the Legacy before, and was not aware of its existence. Either she saw the tubes in some other place, and they are common with the Ashanath, or she invented them, and the Invictus' grav tubes were the inspiration for the Ashanath installing them in the Legacy.

andrew finlayson

Tefler, your writing style has improved markedly from ch 77 to ch 79. The sentences are shorter and thus more easily absorbed. Thank you.

Wookey

Maybe they were cackling at a very high rate so that it sounded like normal laughter to John?

Jedi Khan

So far there are indications that there is only one BSP. What if there were others in the same general part of the Galaxy?

"Rounding the next corner at breakneck speed, he finally sighted his quarry. The five Drakkar had chased the Ashanath into the reactor core chamber, the jagged door currently left wide open behind them. The Greys were now trapped, and he could hear the hulking marauders cackling with laughter as they gloated at the success of their victorious hunt." - How can John hear the 'cackling' if he's travelling at breakneck speed? All he should be hearing is disconnected and drawn-out noises.

My thinking on the Progenitor is what he said; called his Matriarch by her name first time ever, asked what did she think John was doing, and he wanted to celebrate. Makes you think, UMH!!!!!?

lol It'll be like Gurren Lagann where they throw galaxies around like ninja stars.

Jedi Khan

I hope the next story isn't a look back but a look forward. Would be interesting to see how Jon handles the next generation if we see a resolution to his position in the galaxy. Maybe one progenitor per galaxy.. The Galaxy vs Galaxy wars... Have fun writing that down to the ship level. Lol

Grimlakin

New book, "The Ghost of Mael'Nerak."

DCM

That was part of Mael'nerak's experiment, although I can't remember if I've said as much in the Nexus files.

Tefler

Alyssa seeing the "ghosts" makes me wonder if there's a "ghost" of Mael'Nerak lurking up in the control room that has enough presence to be able to hold a conversation with Alyssa. Of course, it would only know what Mael knew at that time. That would certainly be something, wouldn't it?

Jedi Khan

A silly aside , with all the comments about color & how it applies to the story , blue Maliri , Grey Ashantha , Dark green Nymphs , light green Matriarch , red thralls , yellow thralls etc I wondered if anyone else noticed Humans are the only multi-colored race , wondering if there is any significance. Just letting my mind wander to keep from going off a cliff (pun intended)

bigdawguw65

Ailanthia is light green? Jade is green so is this Ailanthia part nymph? Opps missed previous comments about this.

Mark P

Hmmm OK, we got blue Maliri, red Ennshunu(sp), some yellow with red hair, and a green chick. That makes for four Progens at some point in time. Mael'Nerak knocked off the red chicks and their Progen, then took over this part of the galaxy. His brother shows up with.... maybe the yellow girls. Now we have the green girls' Progen floating around stirring the crap.... Am I up to speed here? Don't know who John's father is yet. All the blue girls dying could be either boarding the Bro's ship, or defend.... Wait, Mael cut the Maliri loose, so ..... Hmm... Well, there was 10,000 years or more of him floating around doing stuff.... There is bound to be some crap that happened at some point... LOL

Muledrvr

Holy fucking wow what an action packed chapter!

Crom

Walter, I think you mean to achieve revenge on her kidnapper, no? Or avenge her kidnapping, perhaps?

Evan

Very frustrated right now...know how Crazy feels . So want to get into the Question of who John's father is & other Progenitor story lines but don't want to step on Tefler's story as I assume we'll be getting a lot of info in the Battle recap . One early speculation is dead..BSP isn't John's brother . Sigh , will just have to wait as Tefler spins his magic

bigdawguw65

Rember, still have to avenge Sukura'skidnapper.

Walter Henderson

I thought when I read the passage that they were just speaking since they were close to each other at their combat stations & made eye contact as well. It can get a little confusing with them speaking face to face , over the Comm's & telepathically with & through Alyssa & John. Maybe using different type faces would help.

bigdawguw65

Maybe after some time with the ashanath, she will. Lol. Telepathic computer interface anyone?

“Damn!” she exclaimed with frustration, watching as the beam flickered out a few seconds later. Glancing at Calara, Faye frowned as she continued, *I don’t know how you can completely vaporise them in one shot! You make it look so easy!* Is Faye supposed to mind speak?

Both. It has a cloaking device

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

His Quad might not be happy with how much healing is going to be required.

VycronDyz

I'm currently playing XCOM 2 and was thinking of the fight in terms of controlling each of them throughout the battle. God, now I really wish I there was a TSM mod ;->

VycronDyz

Mentioned green skin, but Jade's natural form has fur. Can't recall if it was green fur or not.

VycronDyz

AH yeah... But now for the extensive aftermath... John will not be happy in a LOT of ways.

GrandPaM

Why kill girls? Lets kill John! Ekhm... I mean Progenitor John :)

Tefler, I think your battle scenes are well-written and exciting to read but lack suspense because there's no real fear that any of the girls might die. Have you considered permanently killing off members of the crew to maintain suspense?

Absolutely stunning first part of the chapter Tefler. Hope the second half can hold a candle to it. THKS!

This great Sci-Fi. Your battles are on the mark and very much like real battle are (one part plan 99 parts what just happen) from one whos' been there your writing is right on. Thanks Tefler, you have another winning chapter.

The ghosts that Mael-nerak skewered were yellow skinned red heads , same as Ailanthea so they were BSP Thralls (whatever race , probably one we haven't meet yet) & would seem to make him Mael-nerak's "brother" that he went off to defeat . The Enshunnu follow Mael's templet so they might be one of his races or they might be remnants of the Achonin

bigdawguw65

John is going to need a lot of support when he finds out more about why he exist.....

Big Orca

Okay a question is this Progenitor ship invisible to the naked eye or only sensors ?

Awesome, don't know what's better combat or invisible dude pretending to play chess on his ship and getting off on it ;P

Thanks for the great read Tefler! The battle was awesome. I was genuinely concerned for each character's safety, and that's a sign of good writing. The difference between the first time the Drakkar boarded the Invictus, and the Maliri twin's curb stomp this chapter really shows how much stronger the crew is now. So if Mal's ship ended up on Ashanah doesn't that rule him out as John's pops? I wonder if the Brimorians have yellow skin? Really hoping Ailanthia is one of Jade's sisters, it's probably a red herring though.

Cliffhanger: "a melodramatic or adventure serial in which each installment ends in suspense in order to interest the reader or viewer in the next installment." It certainly is a natural place to pause but it does leaves us in a "what happens next" situation.

Tony

Theory as to who the other Progenitor's matriarch might be. We know the Maliri hid themselves from the rest of the galaxy behind their armor. What other species have we met so far that also hide themselves from the rest of the Galaxy? I just re-read Ch. 71 and other than red eyes through mask slits, there is no mention of skin color, even when Tashana is flame broiling the Enshunnu captain. Even the vizier arriving at Underworld in Ch. 72 had no description of skin color. The biggest disconnect I see, is the Enshunnu appear to be more patriarchal than matriarchal in their command structure. Perhaps the Enshunnu are more like the Ashanath, humans, Drakkar, or Trankarans.. A creation /mutation by this other Progenitor.

With the Ashanath giving Sakura the title of SakuraBlake I had a sudden humorous thought seeing tiny echoes of an old sci-fi show "Blakes Seven" <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blake%27s_7" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blake%27s_7</a>

What cliffhanger?? The battle is for most part over . The Dakkar fleet is almost totally wiped out &amp; John &amp; the crew aren't in any danger so no cliff hanger..sorry . I think a lot of people misuse the term , it's stems from the old weekly stories &amp; movie matinee 's where the Hero or Heroine was left hang off a cliff or tied to the railroad tracks &amp; seemingly doomed , only to be saved the next week , making sure the fans would show up or read the next instalment . This seems more of a natural pause to let us catch our breath &amp; focus on the little clues &amp; tidbits scatter about in the heat of battle . One question for Tefler , did Magaruk's ship crash into BSP's Dreadnaught ? do any damage to it? Just curious . BTW excellent chapter

bigdawguw65

Great job, Tefler. I love the way that John and the girls are actually being challenged in combat again. I love that you can keep us on the edge of our seats, even as John and company get stronger. Keep it up!

ETNSosa

Wow, Tefler! One thing's for sure...you never disappoint!

CJ Mora

I wasn't sure about all the quick scene changes, in case it confused the reader, but they do help create a sense of urgency. I'm glad it worked!

Tefler

Hopefully it'll be interesting!

Tefler

No problem, it was fun to write!

Tefler

Someone else pointed that out too, but it was because Rachel was seeing it through the thermal imaging view. I'll try and make that more clear!

Tefler

Thank you! Those kind of typos tend to be the hardest for me to spot, because I see what I intended to write rather than the specifics. :-)

Tefler

No problem. :-) I felt bad about leaving the battle half-way through at the end of chapter 78.

Tefler

Page 21, paragraph 7. It's not a map overlap, its a map overlay. Great story as always Tefler ;)

andrew finlayson

Thanks! Oh, and cheers for pointing out those errors too!

Tefler

No comment. ;-)

Tefler

Thanks MrRugg3d, it was a fun one to write, so it's a relief that you guys enjoyed it!

Tefler

I'm always unsure about adding in jokes to combat scenes as I worry that it breaks the tension too much. I'm glad it worked!

Tefler

Yeah, a few more reveals snuck in here and there. ;-)

Tefler

See my comment above!

Tefler

lol. I didn't consciously write any cliffhangers here, I just ended it when the action finished. :-)

Tefler

Thanks! "I think we all know someone was..." Now you've got me curious as to what that is in reference to!

Tefler

Thank you! Its always good to hear when you guys like a chapter. :-)

Tefler

You're welcome!

Tefler

The complete sentence should read: Rachel walked over the join into the original section of the Legacy, glancing around at the gloomy surroundings. *I don’t think much of the Progenitor taste in decor.*

Tefler

Jade has dark-green skin. ;-)

Tefler

Yeah, there's quite a few loose ends to tie up now, but hopefully they should make for interesting reading!

Tefler

Another happy patron. Yay! :-)

Tefler

I haven't actually watched a lot of anime, but that's interesting to know. When I wrote the scene, having him explain where Vekrok was going wrong helps highlight the skill disparity (like a teacher and student). I suspect that's why anime fights use the same storytelling technique. At what point did you realise that John was just faking? :-)

Tefler

Thanks! Glad you liked it!

Tefler

The battle's over now so things will calm down a fair bit, but there's still some interesting bits to cover. :-)

Tefler

Great, I'm glad you enjoyed it! This second half was more complex to write than the first bit of the battle, but it was a lot more fun too! I'll have a think about expanding the Tashana bit, but she's only actually been with them for a couple of days so far.

Tefler

Hopefully I'll be done by the end of the week. :-)

Tefler

Found one small error, it should be blue blood: "The creature’s scarlet face exploded in a gratuitous shower of warm red blood,"

Kim Biel-Nielsen

All allways very exciting - a good fast paced battle - thanks.

Kim Biel-Nielsen

Spectacular First Half Tefler. Excited for rest of the chapter

that was fantastic as always, thank you telfer for bring more joy to this series.

rich ed

Thanks for the crack fix till the whole chapter is done.

Anthony Kester

I'll definitely be making more changes beyond spelling and grammar fixes. I'm just waiting for more detailed feedback from my editors at the moment. I only gave the chapter to them late last night, so that'll take a day or so. :-)

Tefler

Awesome writing!! Love 79!!

Well spotted, thanks!

Tefler

One of the editors flagged that too, but it was intentional. I was describing the view from thermal imaging. :-)

Tefler

Green does not have to mean Nymph. Green my just be Jades preferred color. She is the only Nymph we know of. Her sisters could have been lots of other colors. This chapter lends ore evidence to my theory of. Each proginator has his own race of "slaves" unique to them. Meal'nerak had the Malari (blue). The proginator with the staff from the Ashanath monolith had red. Alyssa saw the ghost of yellow women, from a past battle Meal'nerak had been in. So this other proginator his are green. Doesn't mean they are Nyphs, just green.

MJHSharkbait365

That's not at all what he is doing. He is getting everyone in the quadrant to battle each other and weeken their forces. So he can invade and have no armies left to oppose him.

MJHSharkbait365

A seven-ten split, I believe it was. lol

Jedi Khan

Yes, several of us have caught the reference to what might be another Nymph... and if it is... perhaps those feedings aren't all that necessary for her 'to maintain her youthful vigour'... and are for another purpose altogether? Plenty of typos, grammar, etc., but this is just the first cut, and I very much enjoyed reading it.

Evan

Ahh so the Legacy appears to Maelnareks ship (Milari crew), so that would mean the other ship and potentially John's Dad was the intruders. oooo so many plot reveals :-)

Wow what an amazing part chapter filled with excitement, suspension and humour. I can hardly wait for the fully polished and finished chapter. I had a good chuckle at the bowling humour. That should quiet the critics of John's ability to tactically manage a battle, well at least for a while. This part chapter answered some questions but raised more... I wonder if that was a hint of father getting ready to pit son verses son???

LOL, what cliffhanger? As he said, this is only part 1, and only the first edit of part one. Give him a chance to finish the entire chapter. On other matters.... I think Alyssa is going to have to learn some more control, giving the family more time to come up with a way to keep Athena around permanently. And did anyone else catch that the other Progenitor's Matriarch is green skinned? Jade's race? Or a race he, himself, created?

A satisfying second half of the battle. Very well put and I love the humor thrown in from time to time. The girls getting there gifts and I am looking forward to the after battle revels!

Very interesting Tefler!

Big Dude

These cliffhangers tho.

Calista

Ahhh replace one cliff hanger with another ....

Tony

Well doe Tefler well done. I think we all know someone was... No don't want to spoil that. Not yet. ;)

Grimlakin

Action packed as only Tefler can do.... Wonderful, wonderful !!!

Had a bit of a think and chuckle is this Progenirator teasing John for erectile dysfunction. Obviously he gets his jollies from testing John by stirring it up and then watching how he responds. If he's had nothing else to do for a millennium or more, why not? He's benign really until John can go toe to toe with him as that wouldn't be a challenge.

Thank you!

Walter Henderson

Something is missing?

Rachel walked over the join into the original section of the Legacy, glancing around at the gloomy surroundings. *I

Was that Jade's sister at the end Tefler? "a smile lighting up her beautiful light green face"

That was one hell of a battle I can't wait to hear what the ashanth? Have to say and hopefully Dana can have a look around the legacy and have her come up with more prodginator tech. Great chapter tefler can't wait for more

Jim lynch

Will you be adding anything substantial to this in the final version, or will the changes just be minor grammar &amp; spelling fixes? I'd prefer to read this in its "final form" content-wise.

"Damn, a spare"...

Mkrayn

That was good. Gonna refrain from further detail atm, but that was goood. :D

Lord Winter

Wow, really an action packed pseudo-chapter! And John's fight with the Drakkar at the end was literally an anime. Holding back to learn how he fights, then slowly overpowering the enemy while telling him what just happened? Yeah, that's how they fight in animes.

Sindre Bjørnhjell

towards the rest of the pack. The Drakkar floundered on their floor in their heavy armour, still reeling

The floor Tefler?

Great ending to the battle

Sean McAllister

The creature’s scarlet face exploded in a gratuitous shower of warm red blood, spraying the walls

Blue blood Tefler?

Spectacular half! I know the rest will be just as awesome.

Derek B

Really liked the way the battle went, Tefler. Enjoyed the little twists you introduced so that the crew didn't just blast through the battle too easily. Only thing I would suggest is possibly expand Tashana's portion a little bit. It's our first glimpse of her in actual combat, and it felt more like an eye-blink. ~Morningfrost

Morningfrost

Very GOOD!!!! I can't wait for part 2.

What is this "wait" of which you speak? I've not been able to do this with any chapter thus far much to the displeasure of those depending on me for things like food or work...

Mkrayn

Dammit. ... I'm working. .. :'(

Muledrvr

Thanks, Tefler

Lol not quite

Cool

Sean McAllister

First cheers Telf

Fantastic cheers

Jim lynch

Thanks