Three Square Meals - Chapter 150.2 (complete)

Great writing as usual. I was thrown a bit by the timeline on this one though; first contact with an entirely new race in a completely different part of the galaxy and bedding one of them on the first day?

Go, Go Auralei! Like you waiting for this inevitable result was still so exciting to read, and reread, and... There is something SERIOUSLY wrong with me.

2ndAndrocentric

Boys, if you marry a submissive woman who is NOT a doormat and you treat her right; be prepared to have your words quoted to you. It is one of the joys of marriage, to have her use your words as a contract and have her poke fun at you for days or years over it.

2ndAndrocentric

“What’s your name?” he asked quietly. She looked up at him, her eyes widening in shocked disbelief that he’d chosen her. “I’m Auralei,” she replied in a breathless whisper. ----- This made me so excited to read! Truly a great payoff.

Sindre Bjørnhjell

😀

Green Seadragon

Or are typos a form of literary device to make some want to read just catch typos. Serving the needs of the strict conformist and the relaxed reader alike.

Green Seadragon

Possibly, but since the final edits are all made by Tefler before he publishes, and I'm assuming, perhaps incorrectly, that his editing software is consistent and stable at this point, I would have thought which extraneous spaces show up and where, would also be consistent, and they're not. So I think they are just typos.

Bp Hlpt

Various editing software adds spaces for different formats. That might be the reason.

Green Seadragon

Ch 150.2 Typos There are several instances of extra spaces. There are 5 extraneous spaces between paragraphs: After - sacrifice pour l’amour!] After - pizza for the girls before?” After - here as well to keep the peace.* After - where I come from.” After - inside your beautiful body.” There is one extraneous space at the beginning of a paragraph: She giggled, then brought -- Delete extraneous space before "She" She giggled, then brought There are two cases of double spaces within a paragraph: amber light began to pour off her rounded stomach -- Delete extra space before "pour" amber light began to pour off her rounded stomach tapped on the button to open it. -- Delete extra space before "open" tapped on the button to open it. There are 118 instances of extraneous spaces at the end of a paragraph: two of them double spaces: After - keeping her propped up. After - from rising up against you.” and one of them has over 125 extra spaces! After - raising a huge family with me.” The remaining instances can be fixed by using your word processor to find a space followed by a Paragraph End Mark, set it to replace that with just a Paragraph End Mark, and replace all. Other Typos: As the Maintenance bots floated off -- Maintenance > maintenance As the maintenance bots floated off dropped his clothes on to the chair, -- on to > onto dropped his clothes onto the chair, He walked towards her and glancing meaningfully -- glancing > glanced He walked towards her and glanced meaningfully but I’m too vulnerable having to concentrate -- add comma after "vulnerable" but I’m too vulnerable, having to concentrate what should we train today? Do you want to work on developing new techniques -- syntax, combine the two sentences what should we work on today: Do you want to develop new techniques performed the Tai chi routine, -- chi > Chi performed the Tai Chi routine, but from the different side. -- the different > a different -or- the different > the other but from a different side. but from the other side. catch him off guard with a coordinate burst of attacks, -- coordinate > coordinated catch him off guard with a coordinated burst of attacks, They waved goodbye to each other and John padded out into the armoury, then through to the Dojo. -- sentence structure They waved goodbye to each other, then John padded out into the armoury and through to the Dojo. Thralls warships aren’t as indestructible -- Thralls > Thrall Thrall warships aren’t as indestructible before moving onto the next plant. -- onto > on to before moving on to the next plant. stay at home and do nothing, -- at home > home stay home and do nothing, looked at in fascination. -- at > at it looked at it in fascination. the Null-inertia Gyroscope will counter it. -- Null-inertia > Null-Inertia the Null-Inertia Gyroscope will counter it. He pointed towards the adjoining doors on opposite sides -- adjoining doors > doors (I don't know what you mean by "adjoining". Since they're on opposite sides of the room, what are they "adjoining"?) He pointed towards the doors on opposite sides of the sofa-lined Lounge. -- sofa-lined Lounge > grav-tube (The doors flank the grav-tube. Also, one sofa doesn't exactly make the Lounge "sofa-lined" does it?) of the grav-tube. You could also address the two above issues by expanding the paragraph slightly, perhaps something like this: “And this is the living quarters,” John explained, walking towards the front of the gunship. Standing in a comfortable Lounge area with a plush sofa and chair, he pointed back towards the doors flanking the grav-tube. “The bathroom and kitchen are through there and there... and we can look down into the cockpit from here.” despite his best efforts to fend him off, -- him > them despite his best efforts to fend them off, one of the seven plants in the star system. -- plants > planets one of the seven planets in the star system. but there also many military installations -- there > there were but there were also many military installations back to the weapon’s racks and studied -- weapon’s > weapon back to the weapon racks and studied then watching as Jade took off -- watching > watched then watched as Jade took off Can I take control for a minute? -- Can > May May I take control for a minute? Can I take over again please? -- Can > May May I take over again please? looking at him astonishment. -- astonishment > in astonishment looking at him in astonishment. Suddenly this wasn’t a game anymore, -- add comma after "Suddenly" Suddenly, this wasn’t a game anymore, a look of eager anticipation on their face. -- their > her a look of eager anticipation on her face. You’ve already meet the rigorous qualifications, -- You’ve > You You already meet the rigorous qualifications, I’d rather know about any useful information your girls discovered, -- your > you I’d rather know about any useful information you girls discovered, with a tummy full of you cum. -- you > your with a tummy full of your cum. Alyssa eyes shone with excitement -- Alyssa > Alyssa's Alyssa's eyes shone with excitement

Bp Hlpt

Hypergamy

2ndAndrocentric

Well, from what I can glean from all the textual evidence going back to Irillith’s recruitment, males of a Thrall species are both slender of build and less…aggressive in temperament, at least initially and likely while under the command of a Progenitor. Using the Enshunu and Maliri as examples, over time the menfolk change in attitude but not physically. Given also that Terrans as a race are more varied in their appearance, one has to imagine some of those traits probably trigger the biological imperatives laced throughout a Thrall’s genetic structure, ergo an attraction to brawnier males similar to a Progenitor.

Brian Woods

I wonder about what would come out of the sudden interest that Galkirian captains have in "interrogating" Terran males. Considering the interest that the Maliri pilot shown for Murphy earlier, could that be something that all thrall races have in common? Since guys who befriend John have a surprise tendency to end up with multiple women (Ceraden, Jack and soon Charles) I wonder if any of them, or even Mr. Voss, would end up with a new colorful girlfriend.

Diego

Alyssa: I want one. John: Alyssa no. Alyssa: Alyssa yes.

Jeff

…Another thing to notice, or perhaps reflect on, is the idea that Xar’Aziuth may now be aware that John has claimed another Thrall race and may send Gahl’kalgor after the Larathyrans in an attempt to stop John in his tracks. While I agree with the replies that with Gahl under the Shroud no messages will go through and thus makes John safe…that’s not what we as readers should actually be fearful of. Consider what happens when John recruits someone, whether the first time or third, and how magnified it might become when considering recruiting an entire race. What’s going to happen when John next goes to sleep, especially while outside the Shroud? And as a follow up note…what’s going to happen to Athena, who resides on the Astral and has a connection to John that might in fact be easier to trace now that he’s more or less announced himself to the universe, or as she put it “shouted from the rooftops”?

Brian Woods

Yes, you're absolutely right. Recruiting Auralei was rushed and wildly out of character, but that's because Alyssa was running the show by cashing in her favour. :) John's m.o. is very different. He'd be cautious, concerned, and methodical, trying to assess the situation and fix the major issues before even thinking about recruitment. Normal operations will be resumed in 150.3.

Tefler

Hi -- long time member, infrequent commenter, very big fan here. Love the arc the story is going, however... Is it me or did the events in 150.2 upon arriving on Larathyra seem rushed? John barely stepped foot on the planet, and in a matter of minutes, he's claiming a new recruit. Mind you, those that remained have had society break down, no understanding why everyone they knew beyond a certain age died a horrific death, no news from offworld, etc. Not quite the same as what happened in the Kirrix invasion, but still of a shocking scale. They deserved some kind of explanation or reassurances that "we are different", etc. even if they _were_ genetically enamored of a new progenitor. I would have thought after all the many discussions John has had where he did not want to be perceived as opportunistic or self-serving, it just seems out of character to be so cavalier and quick to capitalize. Regardless, keep up the good work Tef, looking forward to more!