Let me drown
Added 2022-07-18 19:55:25 +0000 UTCI decided to treat this Parteon account as my diary. I wanted to get here a bit more personal than what you can usually see on my ig. Well... It's been an awful week.
As some of you might know - my Mom is dying. I saw her today and it will probably be sooner than later. She's really weak and that should be hard alone but no...
This weekend I heard the most hurtful words that someone might ever said. Her new husband hates me. He is trying to blame me for everything and I heard a lot of insults thrown at me yesterday but the worst one was that I don't care about her. It broke my heart because she's everything to me. Beside her and my grandma - I don't have anyone. I cried all day yeasterday. She's too weak to do anything about it and I don't blame her.
I don't know what to do. I am a mess and I can't imagine her dying. I am lost and sometimes I want to drown...
I am really sorry for this chaotic post. I just needed to vent.
Comments
Thank you. It was awful to go there. The smell was really bad and I had a feeling that in a second something is going to grab me by my ankle :D
Erinthul
2022-10-27 05:11:06 +0000 UTCYou are so brave. I don't think I would have gone in there, and you pulled off an amazing set. I'm sorry to learn about your mother. I hope your art is helping you heal, it is beautiful.
Regman
2022-10-27 00:11:50 +0000 UTCDzisiaj już się tym nie przejmuje, mam świadomość, co to była za osoba- tego też Ci życzę. Dystansu do ludzi, których główna misja jest niszczenie poczucia wartości innych.
kamik306
2022-07-19 06:50:33 +0000 UTCNaprawdę bardzo mi przykro, że musiałeś przez to przejść. Ogromne wyrazy współczucia ode mnie. Ludzie bywają okrutni. Dziękuję bardzo za Twój komentarz. Mam nadzieję, że czujesz się już trochę lepiej. Z całego serca życzę Ci wszystkiego dobrego!
Erinthul
2022-07-19 06:36:27 +0000 UTCYou are absolutely right. I will see her as much as I can even tho it might be really hurtful because of him. Thank you!
Erinthul
2022-07-19 06:33:23 +0000 UTCThank you so much. This actually helped me a lot. You are right about the pain and I am really sorry you had to go through this with your mom. I really hope you are okay now. Wish you all the best and deeply thank you once again!
Erinthul
2022-07-19 06:32:12 +0000 UTCThings told by this man are inhuman, but in moments like this I always think about life-balance. It cames back to predators, but with bigger power, he musi have big problem with himself. You shouldn't take care about this sipping venom. Last year I lost my father- my closest friend, everyone hoped that cancer will lose.... his ex-partner told very many bad things about him. Now I am sure about things she told- it was pitiful revenge. Sometimes we lose our best friends, we won't ever be able to make conversation in real.... but they will always stay in our minds and hearts. Always with us.
kamik306
2022-07-18 23:06:00 +0000 UTCI'm not a stranger to loss, and I can just say that your time with your mom right now is priceless. Focus on that. Don't let anyone or anything rob you of this time with her. His comments are about him and not you. Cherish your time with your mom
Rogier
2022-07-18 20:16:44 +0000 UTCI lost my mom last year. I know the experience. The best way to cope with this is perspective. If she passes, see it as an end to all suffering and pain. Freedom. Let the grief come later but try and be glad she's free. Really focus on her pain now. Not yours but hers. See how much she's enduring. If she passes, this ends. The pain ceases. You can maybe feel good about it. The grief will be lessened and put in perspective if you feel it's logical. I feel you're a pagan, like me. Then this is also a time to focus on belief and the underworld and knowing that she's ok and maybe even feeling her, it helps immensely. True pain is when you feel it's absolute loss with no clarity or reason. If you're not a pagan, then rely on whatever faith you have that this transition will be blessed. I'm deeply spiritual and sensitive and I could feel my mother afterwards. It helped me bear the burden. I really want you to be OK. If you ever need to talk I'm here
Steven Niehaus
2022-07-18 20:16:43 +0000 UTCBeautiful words Steve
Rogier
2022-07-18 20:10:32 +0000 UTCI have no words other than THANK YOU. You have no idea how much your words mean to me - even though we don't know each other personally.
Erinthul
2022-07-18 20:04:36 +0000 UTCThat's awful. I'm so sorry, Erin. I'm sure he's in pain and just lashing out at the world because he feels so powerless. It's not your fault and don't even entertain the thought for a minute. Everyone grieves in their own way. It's terrible your mom's health is failing. Anything I say will only be empty words but know that she loves you and whatever happens, those memories are yours to keep and cherish. I wish you strength at this time. This is a tough trial for you to get through. See her as much as you can and don't let her husband get you down.
Steven Niehaus
2022-07-18 20:02:12 +0000 UTC
