Chapter 47 – A four year old's existential crisis

Morning came all too soon for most members of Clan Emberscale. It was an unspoken rule that no one was really expected to arrive on time for their work on the morning after the festival, even the Elders started their meeting later than usual. While Kori was up at her normal time, tired from her late night but otherwise fine, few of her siblings were in similar good cheer. It appeared as though much of the clutch had partaken in the same tradition her companions had the night before.

She tried to be mindful of the others suffering. That only lasted until a bleary eyed Plk fell out of his den after having missed a foothold climbing out. Her laughter elicited a series of winces and groans from her siblings for being too loud, which only drove her further onward into hysterics. The minder’s own cringes didn’t help matters any either. Especially not when they were simultaneously trying to give off an aura of stern displeasure at many of the youngling’s states.

She had nearly settled herself when Plk tripped over the tie for his robe, having barely secured the garment closed and left the ends dangling. Seeing him fall right back into the pile of limbs ad cloth he had just extricated himself from throwing her back into her earlier cackling glee. She still helped her brother right himself, and even straightened his robe for him. But all she earned for her troubles was an aggrieved look and a kick in the shin for her offending volume.

Kori found the morning meal to be disappointing for many reasons, though both boiled down to the same reason really. The first was that it was even blander than usual, consisting mostly of a warm moss paste with a bit of steamed fish on the side. The paste was apparently what she had been supposed to make with that ground moss she’d been given back in the Circle’s trial. The second was the paste itself, she’d choked it down dry previously and couldn’t stand the stuff now. The final, and most important, reason was everything she had eaten the night before. Now that she knew how good a meal could really be she understood just how boring what she had been eating really was.

I wonder if I can get a pot of that ‘chili’ stuff the warrior gave us. That’d at least give some flavour to this gruel.

She spent what time she could for the morning talking with her siblings. Asking those she hadn’t spent the evening with how their night had been and just overall trying not to think of what came next. She knew that soon she’d have to stand in front of the Elders, again, and have the next two years, and potentially the remainder of her life, decided for her. She was getting tired of having to pick an apprenticeship, especially when she couldn’t choose the only one she really wanted to. Though by this point she’d admitted to herself that [Spell Forming] wasn’t going to happen. At least not in the same way that everyone else learned it. And no one knew any other options for the Skill.

In small groups her siblings slowly trickled out of the brood chamber, heading to whatever apprenticeships that each group shared. Each group an option of what she might end up doing after today. A pair of brewers, a quartet of miners, a quintet of farmers, some cooks, fishers, a mage and a trapper, warriors, a trader, minders, and a scattering of others rounding out the roster of her clutch.

Denied the path of a mage, none of the others had any draw for her. Trapper seemed fun, but only the part where she got to work in the lab. She had little interest in the mechanisms and contraptions that they employed for the rest of their work. Brewing was mildly interesting, but she had no passion or drive for it. And definitively no interest in a brewer’s creations. The only path that held a sliver of interest was that of a trader. Not because she cared at all about their work, but because she wanted to learn to appraise and the surface seemed interesting.

As the last of her clutch dragged their feet out of the brood chamber, Kori knew she too should depart and get it over with. She checked for Korse at his little table where he’d work if he were in, but there was no sign of him. He was probably already in the meeting with his peers going over the events of the previous night.

As she meandered along towards the Elder’s chambers, she saw the state her siblings had been in mirrored across the faces of those she passed. Those in good cheer and cheery disposition were few and far between. Everywhere she looked there was evidence of the prior evening, stains on the dirt strewn floors, an abandoned tankard or piece of shattered cup, earthenware plates or slate platters discarded in a corner. There was a sense of messiness that stuck out as unusual. There were also signs of that mess being cleaned away. In a few days everything would be just as it always was.

Is that really all there is? One day of feasting and a year of toiling?

The thought struck her as odd. That’s how the kobold’s had lived for centuries wasn’t it? Why should it suddenly bother her, a barely four-year-old youngling?

Her thoughts slowed her pace even further. The feeling that she was walking into the gaping maw of one of Bolst’s traps, ready to drop her into a pit she might never escape, overwhelming her. Her mind whirled as her thoughts sped forward in place of her feet.

Each thought took her down a different path in her life and each thought ended in a dreary existence chasing the next level by doing the same thing over and over. watching as each of her mentors passed on. Knowing that each of her siblings would pass on before her since she was leveling faster than them.

She nearly ran, both from her destination and her own thoughts. She wanted nothing more than to return to her little place of solitude that she’d shared with her siblings the night before and do anything to distract herself from the ideas stuck in her head. Nearly. Instead, she forced her feet to keep moving forward. To do something she hadn’t done any of the other times she’d been faced with her failings and an uncertain future. Instead of hiding away she’d face the Elders. Instead of just doing what they wanted she’d tell them what she wanted. Or she would do that… As soon as she figured out what that was.

Momentum built, every step just a little quicker than the one before it, and her confidence growing at pace. Before she really understood what she was doing, she’d arrived at the Elder’s chambers and strode in through their open door. The Elders were in the middle of their discussions, mostly about cleanup and what supplies they’d need to restock. Part of her had simply expected to barge in and say her piece. That part fled and disappeared upon seeing attention turn to her as if it were a shadow from matrons show the night before, vanishing when the lantern spell ended.

Ortik looked up from whatever he had been reading and waved her off to the side, “We’re not quite ready for you yet youngling, if you’d wait over there a bit we’ll get to you soon.” He dismissed her casually, already used it having done so for months when she’d been working with him. She noticed her spot behind Ortik remained unoccupied, unsure if they’d ever settled on whether an assistant would be acquired or not. Their conversation continued for some time, the only attention paid to her was Tuli falling into old habits and requesting tea. A request that was rebuked by Ortik as inappropriate, as much as Kori could tell he wanted to ask for the same.

After three quarters of an hour, they finally settled whatever matters they had been discussing and attention turned to Kori. She tried to puff herself back up and reclaim the confidence she’d entered with, but momentum was a tricky thing to recapture once it was gone.

It wasn’t Ortik who began as she had expected. It was Bolst who spoke to her first. “First things first Kori, I’ve been told I said some things last evening that I should not have. I apologize for my words, that was unfair of me to say. Even in the state I had been in.” He bowed his head to her slightly as he delivered his apology. “What happened in the lab was not your fault. I was in charge there and the responsibility lies with me. Except for my spiders, that’s still on him.” A sad smirk on his face as he jerked his thumb towards Ortik.

At the mention of the redbacks, Blonc’s eyes widened and his features paled slightly, looking as though he were about to lose any breakfast he had managed to consume. The others all groaned, clearly this was a subject they’d heard repeatedly over the past weeks. “Enough about the spiders already, you shouldn’t have kept them in the first place. Get over it.” Ylst chided him, reaching over and giving him a swat on the arm. The others all making comments in agreement while Bolst continued to pout.

Once the arachnid related distraction ended, Kori replied to the Elder’s apology. “Thank you, Elder Bolst.” She said, “I appreciate your apology.” Returning his bowed head with a nod of her own.

Before she could move into anything else she wanted to say about deciding her path forward, Ortik took control of the conversation, as he frequently did, by interjecting with, “Good. With that out of the way, lets move on to why you’re here youngling.” He continued on, not giving Kori a chance to speak once again.

“I can’t say I’ve ever encountered a youngling that took up quite so much of our time as Elders as you have, Kori.” He said, shaking his head with a frustrated look. “And especially not one who has not found their place after four attempts to place them in an apprenticeship…” The other Elders mumbling their agreement. Before beginning to speak again, he raised his three fingers and his thumb on his right hand. “We cannot place you with the mages or the circle, as you have been unable to demonstrate the necessary skills.” Lowering a finger as he says each placement. “We cannot place you with the trappers, since if I am being honest the prospect of you two working alongside one another terrifies several of us.” A third finger dropped down. “And there is no point in placing you with the brewers, you’ve already managed to complete the skills you would be expected to work on for the next two years…” Closing the final digit with a measure of finality.

“To say we have no idea what to do with you is an understatement, Kori.” Rubbing the top of his muzzle in a sign of frustration. “You are clearly a gifted young kobold, between you reportedly already being level seven and having at least four skills maxed at the start of your fifth year is unbelievable.”

“Uhh, Spiritcaller? I’m not level seven…” She corrected him.

“You’re not?” Sounding almost hopeful that he’d been wrong on that front.

“No, I reached level eight a couple of weeks ago.” She replied proudly, clearly not realizing that he had been hoping to be wrong in the opposite manner.

Ortik then did something that Kori had never seen him do in all the meetings she’d observed. He flopped down onto his cushion with a sigh of exasperation and waved her forward. “Come on, come sit and we can talk about what comes next…” Looking around the room, he saw only Korse and Kles as being relatively unaffected by the prior night, and the idea of asking the only member of the council older than his own fifty-four years seeming absurd, he asked Korse, “Could you please make some tea? I think we might be here for a while…”