ACL: 48. In which Aegis beats Menagerie.

Chapter 48: In which Aegis beats Menagerie.

Brockton Bay, NH, USA
Monday, February 14, 2011
Type: Rock

With the elder Camachos out on their date, Stacy let us out half an hour early. Not so much that it’d cause problems, but enough that the extra time was appreciated.

That left me with time after school to do whatever I wanted. And seeing how it was the day for lovers, I figured I should do something appropriately over the top. I had to; I was Menagerie. “Over the top nonsense” was as much my calling card as cute pokemon and oppressive shows of force.

Well, I said that, but I found myself at a bit of a loss. Today would have been a wonderful day to have grass types; flowers were the language of love, after all. Or maybe electric or fire so I could perform a brilliant light show dedicated to my “girlfriend.”

Unfortunately, I was rock today. It wasn’t exactly the most romantic of types. I tried to think of a joke to play using my type for the day, but all I could think of were variations of the shitty “rock hard” dick joke.

No, that wasn’t right. There was also Diancie, the rock-fairy dual type. She was the queen of the Diamond Domain, a hidden cavern near Allearth Forest in Kalos. She could create many diamonds at will and was said to have been born from a mutated carbink, not that anyone could prove it.

She was also a Legend, and thus out of my reach. I thought about turning into a carbink and then mailing myself to Amy somehow, but that felt too… small. They said diamonds were a woman’s best friend, but I doubted Amy felt that way. She wasn’t a very materialistic girl and it lacked the large-scale impact (read: humiliation) that I wanted out of a momentous day like Valentine’s.

I began to wander aimlessly, hoping a stroll would clear my head. Before I knew it, I found myself by the south ferry station, the abandoned one that had served as my base for all this time.

Being late winter, the sun set somewhat early. Though it was only four in the afternoon, the sky over the sea had begun to take on shades of orange and red. The Rig looked like an incandescent soap bubble like this, beautiful but delicate.

“I suppose I should consider moving out,” I mused. “The Boat Graveyard isn't a shithole anymore so that one guy who keeps petitioning to reopen the ferry might actually get enough traction.”

I stayed there for a while longer. The sea breeze felt nice on my skin and the view of the horizon reminded me of the days I spent traveling the world.

Then, I got an idea.

The Boat Graveyard couldn’t really be called that anymore. Now that it was being developed, people were starting to pay attention. It had begun as a trickle last month, but ever since I took out the major gangs, developers realized there was nothing keeping them from buying up cheap land and hopefully turning a profit.

In other words, things would get busy over there as various construction projects began. And that meant I wouldn’t get to mess around there once things really got going. This might be my very last time to make any additions of my own. And seeing how I was the one who cleared the Graveyard and made it all possible, didn’t I deserve a say in its future?

I chuckled. I doubted anyone would buy that excuse. Amy would probably scold me and the PRT would cite half a dozen regulations, but what did it matter? It wasn’t as if the city owned the ocean adjacent to its port.

I knew. I checked ever since Vista wouldn’t let me build an ice rink.

According to international treaties, this world had a right known as the “freedom of the seas.” National sovereignties extended somewhat into the ocean, but those were “territorial waters” in which the countries involved could set certain laws and regulations. The waters didn’t really belong to anyone in the same way that land did.

Which was a bit of a funny concept to me. The regions in my old world didn’t have “territorial waters,” at least not like this. Historically, as a general truism, the waters belonged to pokemon, and this “ownership” tended to be enforced via sunk ships and mass flooding. Humans pursued cohabitation because that was the best survival strategy. It simply wasn’t worth it to get territorial unless absolutely necessary.

That was neither here nor there. What mattered was that the ocean “belonged” to the United States in a very tenuous sense. Even then, this claim existed at the national level. Municipal governments didn’t exactly get to petition the UN.

Which meant Vista could only pout aggressively if I wanted to terraform the ocean.

I grinned wide and quickly got changed into my costume. Once I got to the former Graveyard, I stomped the ground and called out, “Shift, gigalith!”

My body morphed, becoming completely inorganic. It was an odd feeling that I honestly didn’t enjoy. When I turned into a luxray or pidgeot, I could feel my bones lengthening, my tendons becoming springier, and all that other stuff Amy loved to talk about. I understood what was happening to me, even if I couldn’t quite discuss it like an academic.

Not so with an inorganic transformation. There was no logical process I could consciously follow because there was no scientific explanation for a sentient bronze bell or a giant, quadrupedal hunk of rock. I just was, no rhyme nor reason.

My disorientation lasted for a moment. Then, I was the premier rock type of the Unova region. Though the roggenrola line was as common in Unova as geodude were in Indigo, Hoenn, and Sinnoh, they were considerably better-received. I chalked this up to a difference in body shape: Golem were round, but gigalith were not.

That wasn’t a fat joke, either. Golem were often the cause and makeup of rockslides, particularly around mountainous areas like near Mount Coronet. In fact, historically, when a new town or village was founded, one of the first things the new residents would do was dig ditches to steer any rolling golem along premade paths. As a result, the geodude line often had a reputation for being hardheaded, stubborn, or careless.

Gigalith obviously didn’t roll well, and so had a better reputation overall.  Another reason they were better-received than golem was because they were photosynthetic. I didn’t know if that was the right word when a sentient rock did it, but the principle was the same: The red crystals on their bodies took in sunlight, storing it to be released later with explosive power.

According to Iris, Unovan scientists were studying the mineral makeup of their red crystal growths to determine just how they stored energy so efficiently. She loved to brag about her region and Steven, the mineral buff, had been happy to let her ramble the last time we met up.

I grunted in mild surprise as the ground cracked beneath my feet. Gigalith were heavy, far heavier than their relatively compact forms indicated. And unlike in Unova, the roadwork here did not take into account pokemon such as me. 

Gingerly, I reinforced the earth beneath me as I approached the water’s edge. Here, it was as though I could feel the earth breathe. The interplay between land and sea, the way the stone touched the water. Though I lacked a water type and so could only hear half the conversation, that was better than no conversation at all.

The Boat Graveyard was called that because it used to be a port that catered to cargo ships. That was good. Much of the infrastructure was already here.

I poured my aura into the stone, and the earth answered. I was, quite literally, of the stone. Reaching out to the earth, having it move at my command, was no different than standing up or walking to a human, so basic that it could not really be called a “move.” 

Growth was slow, as stone tended to be, but steady. The wavebreakers that had lined the perimeter of the abandoned port came alive. The same angular patterns repeated themselves as if they were plants repeating a fractal, extending far past the sea. Truthfully, I didn’t know exactly how they worked, or why these shapes were optimal for wavebreaks, but I chose to trust in the construction of those before and followed through.

Stone pillars formed behind them to reinforce their structure and form the foundations. The same pillars rose and merged, forming a watertight surface. That crude design was as much as I could do before I ran into the limits of my geokinesis. Gigalith, though immensely powerful and great at making and moving tons of rock, weren’t suited for finer details.

For that, I needed a pokemon with more dextrous limbs, and maybe one with a more organic sense of aesthetics. Now that I thought about it, perhaps a form that could drain any residual water between the cracks of my foundation would be good as well.

For that, I chose carracosta, the evolved form of a fossilized sea turtle, also native to Unova. They were incredibly powerful pokemon, capable of ripping through the bottom of an oil tanker with a single slap of their flippers.

If I remembered right, they were the predators of the omanyte line and went extinct shortly after their prey. I didn’t know if they hunted the omanyte and omastar near Unova to extinction or there were other environmental factors at play, but without easy prey in the shallows, they were forced to try to hunt on land. Suffice to say, they were better equipped for aquatic life and could not adapt fast enough.

The big, bipedal turtles weren’t exactly what anyone thought of when they considered “artsy” pokemon. Ancient pokemon, especially those resurrected from fossils, seldom were. They tended to be more brutal, with a black and white, predator-prey understanding of the world. Regis had been much the same.

Still, I was the carracosta now. Its instincts were overruled by iron discipline. I chose this form because I remembered that fossil pokemon had access to the move, Ancient Power. It was an incredibly flexible move that allowed for a high level of finesse over all forms of earth regardless of composition, or even if it happened to be liquid at the moment.

Once, I met a young boy and his tangrowth who used the move to perfection. They built large sculptures and fountains of lava that were as terrifying as they were beautiful. I didn’t think I’d be quite as good, but it couldn’t hurt to have a little inspiration.

I dove into the sea. Its cool waves flowed along my shell, caressing me like an old lover. The world opened up around me. The currents, that other half of the conversation I could not hear as a gigalith, were now laid bare before me.

And so, I listened to the song of eons. For a long minute, I remained at the bottom in quiet solitude. It was an ancient song, a whisper perhaps, of Land and Sea, a tiny fraction of the power that once shaped the world.

When I was ready, I stretched out a flipper and called on just a bit of that Ancient Power. I coaxed the water and stone to part. The water fled the gaps in the foundations even as the stone grew to fill the space.

I didn’t know how long I spent at the bottom of the sea. Even for such a powerful pokemon, forming a new pier wasn’t easy. The stone was sluggish. The water was temperamental. And yet, never once did I feel that it was taking too long. Both the stone and sea were my friends, and it was no loss to spend my time listening to their byplay.

Eventually, I was satisfied. I launched myself up out of the water and onto the newly created pier. As one final touch, I went to the junction between the old and new piers and stomped down, leaving a two-inch wide gap between the two. I had to make sure it was as deep as possible so that the ocean could fill this gap, if only slightly.

Finished with my new pier, I looked out and admired my work. It was massive, as wide as a six-car lane and nearly seven hundred feet long. Its perimeter was surrounded on all sides by sturdy wavebreaks. Though currently an unadorned flattop, it was easily the biggest structure in the former Graveyard now, and I knew that it would not be moved easily, not by erosion and certainly not by the heroes.

Pride welled up inside my chest. So many people associated pokemon like gigalith and carracosta with brute force and destruction. It felt good to have made something this expansive with my own, two flippers.

I shifted back into my human form. The sun had fully set now, though that alone didn’t mean anything, being the tail end of winter and all. Checking my phone, I found that it was nearly nine, meaning I’d spent nearly five hours building this.

“Oh, good. I still have time to decorate,” I muttered happily. I just needed to wait for my aura to recover. I’d had plenty of time to come up with ideas and I planned to turn this pier into a sculpture gallery of sorts.

Then, I heard a sardonic voice behind me. “Decorate, hmm? Are you sure you’re allowed to do that?”

I turned to find Aegis and Vista, probably closing out a patrol for the night. I offered them a lazy salute. “Hey, you two. How’d your patrol go?”

Aegis held out a hand and waved it so-so. “Eh, it’s been pretty quiet ever since you took out Lung on Friday. Good job there, by the way. Thanks for taking it outside the city.”

“No problem. And quiet is good. You should savor it while you can. Have you guys figured out which gangs will be moving into the city?”

“No, but we heard from the adults that that’ll happen soon-ish. Nature abhors a vacuum and all that.”

“Not like they’d ever tell us,” Vista griped. “We wouldn’t know about that until we ran into them on a patrol.”

“Hey now, it’s not like that. Besides, we’ve got Delphi now,” Aegis said placatingly. “If anything, we might know before the director.”

I chuckled at that. It sounded like Dinah was fitting in fine. “Is Delphi bad at keeping secrets?”

Vista snorted in good humor. “Bad? Try abysmal. I love her to bits, but she’s got no filter when it comes to compartmentalizing need-to-know information. Once she’s decided that you’re a hero, she won’t hesitate to tell you unless explicitly told otherwise. And sometimes, she’ll just forget anyway.”

“Huh, must be a headache for the director,” I mused.

Maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised. Dinah was twelve, and without Missy’s rigid discipline. I was suddenly very glad I’d kept her out of the Coil operation beyond my initial questions.

The two Wards looked around my empty pier with a critical eye. Aegis floated to the side and gestured to the ledge.

“You might want to put up railings,” he pointed out. “Falling onto the wavebreaks would suck for anyone.”

“Ooh, fair point. I’ll get to it once I’ve rested a bit more.”

“Why a new pier though? Are you even allowed to do that?”

“Well, I did some digging. Turns out, the municipal government does not own the water. Territorial claims exist on the national level, but even that’s more about which country can exploit the ocean’s resources, so stuff like oil and fishing rights. Strictly speaking, no one owns the sea.”

“And so you decided to raise the land and make your own pier?”

“Exactly.”

“But if the city’s land ownership ends where the shore does, and you’ve just expanded the shoreline, then doesn’t this pier also belong to the city no matter who made it?” Vista pointed out, quite logically.

But I was ready!

I skipped back to the junction where the old port met my pier. There was that two inches of space. I pointed at it like it was the Grand Canyon. “Ah! But see this, Vista? What is this?”

“Um… A gap…?”

“Exactly! This is a gap. Ergo, what you are looking at is not an extension of the city’s shoreline. My pier is, by definition, an island.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“Oh, but I am. An island is a plot of land surrounded on all sides by the ocean. This pier is indeed surrounded by the sea on all sides.”

“This is so stupid,” she groaned. “Console, are you getting this?”

“It’s not stupid,” I shot back. “If anything, this is all your fault!”

“Me? How the hell is this my fault?” she squawked with righteous indignation.

I channeled my darling little brothers and crossed my arms over my chest. They were great, but they could be annoying like nothing else on earth. “You didn’t let me build an ice rink because I needed silly things like permits. So, I decided I’d just build my own island.”

“That was like forever ago!”

“Last month, actually. But so what? All that matters is that this pier is an island. Therefore, this does not extend the city’s shoreline and the city cannot claim this island. And that means that this island, because it is an island, is its own political entity. This island follows its own rules,” I said smugly.

“Oh my god… I’m twelve! How are you pettier than me?”

“That’s easy. My best friends are a literal jackal and a fairy. You haven’t seen petty until you’ve seen them argue over the last poffin.”

“That doesn’t make any sense!”

“I reject your reality and substitute my own.”

Vista puffed up like a qwilfish. Next to her, I heard Aegis whisper, “Console, is this technically an island?”

I didn’t hear what they said in response, but Aegis’ furrowed brows were answer enough. Clearly, my ten minutes on Google trumped the finest minds of the PRT. Victory tasted like the salty sea breeze.

“Fine, I’ll bite,” Vista sighed, defeated. “Why did you make an… island…?”

“I’m going to make a sculpture garden,” I said proudly. “Today’s Valentine’s Day and I realized that there was nowhere for me to take Amy. I mean, there’s the Boardwalk, but it’s so boring.”

“So you made your own dating spot… island…” she muttered, like saying the word caused her physical pain.

“Yup! Oh, and I also want to build a statue of Arceus. I mean, I finally have my own place now, so it’s only fair.”

“Okay, Console, thanks. I’ll try that,” Aegis said as he got off his call. “Console gave up. Congratulations, Menagerie, this is officially your land now as far as the PRT is concerned.”

Vista whirled on her team leader. “What? You’re letting him win?”

“Just consider it a gift for services provided to the city, Vista. It’s not a big deal.”

“It’s a whole-ass island!”

“It’s a couple thousand square feet that he made himself. Besides, seeing how Menagerie cleared the Boat Graveyard, he should get a say in how it’s used, right?”

“I… But… I don’t want him to win…” she whispered.

“Heh, now who’s being petty?” I interjected.

“Still you!” she shot back, stamping her feet.

Aegis placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. I felt his emotions morph into dark amusement. “Although, you understand that this is still American territorial waters, right, Menagerie? You acknowledged that earlier.”

“I did…” I said tentatively. I didn’t like this. Aegis’ red mask suddenly reminded me of the yawning maw of a sharpedo.

“As such, you own land within the United States of America.”

“Yes…?”

“That means you owe federal taxes.”

“I don’t,” I denied reflexively. “I can’t… can I?”

“Oh, but you do,” Aegis said. His voice was apologetic, but I knew better. His emotions bubbled with mirth. The bastard was practically cackling like a madman inside. 

“T-That’s not right. I built this… It’s mine…”

“I’m sorry, but as a landowner within US territory, you owe the federal government taxes. I’m sure that you, as a law-abiding citizen and model hero, will meet all your civic obligations.”

Victory turned to ashes in my mouth. Truly, no power was greater than the IRS. “Nooooooo!!!!!”

Author’s Note

Apparently, gigalith are only ~570 pounds. That makes zero fucking sense, especially since they’re the “compression pokemon” so I’m overruling the pokedex on this one. Usually, I say that their listed weight is the “average at time of evolution,” which is generally why the number looks smaller than it should be, but even that doesn’t work here.

Yes, that was a Traveler reference. Still my favorite fic of all time, still the reason I started writing at all.

The IRS is eternal. Menagerie takes an L on this one.

Animal Fact: Let’s talk about sex. Specifically, halibut sex.

You learned in biology that there are X and Y chromosomes that determine sex, right? Egg cells always have X and sperm cells can have either X or Y? Women have XX and men have XY distribution?

Yeah, that’s not always the case. There is an alternate distribution that scientists label as ZW. In this case, it’s the egg cells that can have either Z or W while all sperm cells have Z so it’s the mother that determines sex, not the father.

Anyway, there are three species of halibut: Pacific, Atlantic, and Greenland (because Greenland is its own fucking region to marine biologists). They’re all delicious (the halibut, not the biologists). But though they’re all halibut, Atlantic and Greenland halibut have the typical XY distribution while Pacific halibut have the ZW distribution.

Also, don’t quote me, but apparently, all Pacific halibut are born male while their eastern cousins can be born as either sex. This last one is really hard to get credible sources for though.

What? Was this not the fish sex you wanted?