The Conquistadors Weren't The ONLY Villains! (VIDEO SCRIPT)

Because when I board the boat of the Jungle Cruise ride, I too think of Metalica

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I’m gonna be honest with you, Readers. Despite Dwayne The Rock Johnson being involved, I don’t know if anyone was really EAGER to watch his live-action Jungle Cruise movie.

As you know, it’s the latest live-action film that was inspired by one of their oldest rides present at the DisneyLand theme park.

Ever since the success of Pirates of the Caribbean, Disney has been trying to replicate said success with other theme park ride inspired productions...

Such as Brad Bird’s Tomorrowland starring George Clooney, and 2003’s Haunted Mansion with Eddie Murphy, which is now being remade with LaKeith Stanfield and helmed by Dear White People series and movie creator and director Justin Simien. THAT’S gonna be interesting...

Now part of what peaks my interests in these movies is seeing how they weave an engaging narrative that fits the theme, despite how basic the rides that serve as the inspiration for them are.

Trust me; I’ve RODE the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. And while I can see what INSPIRED the cursed gold plot in it, the very nature of the ride would’ve caused me to not associate any of the elements into a plot of a story out of sheer boredom alone.

But just like they did with Pirates, Jungle Cruise took a pretty simple tourist gimmick ride and turned it into a surprisingly long yet admittedly entertaining Indiana Jones clone.

Honestly, I can’t bring myself to agree with the people who say that the movie is a copy of The Mummy when the only similarities are the brother and sister dynamic that Lily and MacGregor share with Evee and Jonathan.

/And one of the elements that played a very creative and intriguing factor into it was Dwayne Johnson’s character Frank and his overall connection to the MacGuffin the trio were seeking./

However, considering what said connection turned out to be, along with how the relationship was formed between himself and Emily Blunt’s Lily over the course of their interactions...

/The situations surrounding the plot, premise, and the overall players in question considering the period the movie took place in could’ve been expanded upon a whole lot more if Disney weren’t afraid to put respectability politics to the side./

Now before I continue, I just want to let it be known that I’m going to be talking about Jungle Cruise in ways that’ll spoil the movie for people from here on out. So if you haven’t seen the movie yet and you don’t want to be spoiled, I recommend you either go see it in theaters or do your inner debate whether or not its worth the additional $30 to watch on Disney+. Cool? Cool

So if you HAVE seen Jungle Cruise, you know that Lily, her brother MacGregor and their guide Frank are after the Tears of the Moon; flower petals from a legendary tree located in South America that can cure any sickness and disease and lift any curse.

Because this movie takes place during the events of The Great War -- aka World War 1 -- that lets us know exactly how old this legend is. And because of how old said legend is and the fact that its located in South America, more than likely the Spanish Conquistadors were involved in some shape or fashion.

/Turns out, that’s exactly the case. A Conquistador named Don Aguirre led an expedition to find the Tears in order to save the life of his daughter and was cursed alongside his companions for the pillaging, desecration and murder of the tribe sworn to protect it./

Y’know, just colonizer things.

/Hashtag Just Colonizer Things./

Now this exposition is obviously used as a setup for one of the film's supernatural opposing forces for the heroes...

/Who are freed by German Prince Joachim, the film’s primary antagonist./

However, it also factors into Frank’s backstory and surprise twist.

/Because an hour and a half into the movie, we find out that Frank is actually Francisco Lopez de Heredia, Don Aguirre’s adopted brother and also one of the Conquistadors cursed to be bound to the river for all eternity./

But despite being cursed alongside the rest of them, Frank developed a different perspective than Aguirre during his time with the natives.

/He saw their humanity versus the mentality colonizers of yesteryear had when it came to the places and people they conquered. He noticed said shift in Aguirre’s behavior when he saw the villagers as a means to an end, and made the active decision to fight for them and against his kin, despite being cursed alongside them for being guilty by association. Yet despite being afflicted by the same curse, he continued to fight against his fellow conquistadors who sought the tree to free themselves, until trapping them in a way that would immobilize them indefinitely for being away from the river for so long./

So despite the main story taking place in the early 20th Century, because of the inclusion and involvement of the Spanish Conquistadors in a story about a legendary MacGuffin centered around South America initially chronicled in the 16th Century, the topic of colonization can’t help but to be associated and embedded with the very narrative of Jungle Cruise.

In a way, displaying Aguirre’s mentality and actions against the South American natives shows the supremacy and superiority colonizers displayed over indigenous people when such levels of xenophobia were the norm amongst certain kingdoms and ethnic groups.

/And because of the actions of Frank, who, despite being cursed alongside them, fights to protect both the villagers and the Tears of the Moon from his fellow immortalized kin, he represents an individual who is exposed to the terrors his own people brought upon those they deemed lesser, but doesn’t turn a blind eye to it because he’s uncomfortable with the truth. Instead, he accepts and acknowledges both his condemnation and role played in said injustice, and utilizes his privilege in ways to make sure that the history of violence and cultural desecration ends with him./

But it’s like I stated earlier, Readers. The topic of colonization is heavily imbedded into the story of Jungle Cruise based on the very extent the Spaniards played in the backstory of the film’s plot, including the acknowledgement of how Frank’s choices to redeem himself in the eyes of the South American natives can serve as an allegory for allyship in the face of coming to terms with the problematic past of one's nation and-or people.

And, as we all know -- especially now that actions have been made to eliminate the romanticization of certain individuals who were previously given national holidays -- the past actions of Spaniards are, in fact, worthy of criticism and judgement. Especially in the form of fictional media.

My problem with Jungle Cruise however, is that while all of that is true, the Spaniards are not the ONLY colonizers present in the movie that are worthy of receiving the film’s narrative criticism.

/In fact, said colonizers aren’t given the same treatment as the Spaniards, in which their attempts and misdeeds are completely ignored, because of the association of two of its main characters./

The irony of the situation is that this isn’t the first time Disney has done this.

You see, ever since Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian -- despite it being an adaptation of the novel of the same name -- Disney have utilized the Spanish Conquistadors as their go-to historical representatives for the dangers of colonization and cultural erasure.

And while acknowledging the Spanish conquest of Latin America in media is absolutely necessary in order to show how much damage the nation did to the Latin natives and is historically accurate according to the time of the Live-Action Disney movies they take place in, they are the only nation known for colonialism in the past that is properly depicted as such.

/The European country of Great Britain, however -- or as it's known now as the United Kingdom -- is always seen in a less negative light, despite having the same history./

And it's not like Jungle Cruise is the first time Disney has properly utilized and depicted the Spanish Conquistadors as villains and antagonistic forces in their original narratives, either.

/The role they played in Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides when they find the fountain of youth still makes me wanna do Pai Mei’s exploding heart technique on a casual bigot to this day./ (Only God can grant everlasting life. Not this Pagan Water)

They destroyed the Fountain of Youth because God was jealous! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH~!

However, in comparison, every attempt by Disney to display Britain's past of colonization has been tremendously watered down; the easiest example being the animated films surrounding Pocahontas.

Not only were they ridiculously romanticized versions of her meeting with John Smith and later traveling to London with John Rolfe in the sequel Journey to a New World...

But the truth regarding what happened to the Native Americans when the first British settlers arrived and how Pocahontas was ACTUALLY treated was replaced with the notion of "Only a Few Bad Apples" explaining the xenophobia and racism that were present ala Governor Ratcliffe, the villain of both films.

And the Pirates of the Caribbean movies are no better, providing very little about Britain's occupation of the islands outside of a way of using it to explain why the main cast of characters of the main trilogy and it's two spin-off films are white Brits.

A theory I have regarding why I believe Disney doesn't allow it's filmmakers to go hard in checking the UK on their colonialism days like they do with Spain is pretty much white guilt and what that means for their bottom dollar in box office sales.

They immediately get uncomfortable when they are forced to deal with the actions of or feel first hand the pain and humiliation systemic racism established by their ancestors firsthand. So much so that they'd rather do anything but acknowledge said past and learn from it in order to disassociate from said actions and not have that weight on their shoulders. So, y'know. Texas.

If you've seen a lecture taught by anti-racism activist Jane Elliot, then you've seen first-hand how some white Americans handle White Guilt when they're forced to deal with the crimes of their ancestors.

And due to Disney's sloppily handled take of trying to change the narrative of the story of Pocahontas, I wouldn’t be surprised if they're trying to avoid that all together by painting one of the most notorious nations of colonizers still in existence in a more neutral light.

/Or, in the case of Jungle Cruise, having them be too busy dealing with other important social justice battles that were prominent at the time in order to address it./

However, because we can all agree about the way Spain handled it's takeover of Mexico and South America, along with the world clearly gaining a better grasp of accepting that Christopher Columbus was a FULL bitch...

/Spanish Conquistadors became Disney's antagonistic representatives for not only colonialism and cultural defamation, but also -- in the case of Jungle Cruise -- an outlet for displaying the long-term effects of a people's persecution of another without making white people feel uncomfortable with themselves./

So while Frank being a Spaniard named Francisco who was cursed with immortality doing what he can to make up for the violent actions of his brother and his fellow cursed Conquistadors is a fine allegory for properly utilizing your privilege...

The problem is that he is the ONLY one trying to make amends for the violent actions his fellow Spaniards and himself delivered to the natives of the Amazon, when it's clear by the very existence of Emily Blunt's character Lilly that he shouldn't HAVE to be.

/The search for the Tears of the Moon in order to incorporate it into medicine could’ve been HER way of trying to make amends for the years of hurt and destruction that her nation has bestowed upon the world./

Hell, we could've found out her father -- the one who informed her of the legend in the first place -- could've easily been involved with slave trade or the deforestation of native wildlife of the countries claimed for the crown...

/Which would explain why she’s always so anxious to free animals from cages whenever she encounters them./

/Add the fact that her family did all but disown MacGregor for being gay and not marrying into a rich family, and it would've added more fuel to the fire regarding WHY she needed to find the Tears, which would in turn help the dynamic between Lily and Frank more than what we received; two individuals either knowing of or participated in the desecration of a people by their own, and doing what they can in their own way in order to make amends./

When it comes to colonialism, choosing the conquistadors as the ones to get the plot moving -- while justified -- feels a bit lazy when Disney constantly uses the English, or at least English individuals, as a force for good in the face of a rather neutral -- albeit sexist -- nation considering the time it takes place in.

If Disney wasn’t so afraid of unintentionally -- yet justifiably so -- calling out a specific demographic for their past actions the way that they’ve proven to be so eager to do with one that’s currently “popular” to call out thanks to modern awareness, Jungle Cruise could’ve been so much more than just an okay and entertaining Indiana Jones clone that probably won’t get a sequel because of Frank finally receiving his redemption.

/Instead, its a one-and-done theme park attraction adaptation where a person of color has been tasked with the responsibility of taking on the burden of white guilt, so that white people don’t have to./

Also, the Rock is Black and Samoan; he ain’t even Spanish, y’all. Make it make sense...

But, I digress, Readers. Your homework assignment for the day:

Write in the comment section below what you thought about Disney’s Jungle Cruise if you’ve seen it.

Or, if you feel like sharing with the rest of the class, a movie you’ve seen that had every opportunity to rightfully critique the actions of an Anglo-Saxon nation, but doesn’t due to white guilt.

Whichever you decide to answer, I’d love to know your thoughts.