I admit, I'm not highly motivated...after years of academic study and over a thousand technical drawings, my art remains inadequate...if only I had a few skilled friends, colleagues, or peers to converse with...by now, I thought I would, however, I'm still alone, forced, yet again, to arbitrarily guess how to improve...I need to attend classes, I need productive guidance, criticism...I've given my life to this...I should've been better by now...