Session 𝓞ne-Hundred-Three

Session 103:

“The Safe Word”

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“What if you just take over Levane for the power of it, and then use that as leverage?” I asked as we walked into Monroe’s house, sliding my heels off by the door with her.

“They have heavier leverage,” she emphasized as we walked past the kitchen toward the familiar stairs.

Not the stairs toward her main bedroom.

The stairs toward the bedroom with the soothing forest green color throughout, and the picture of me sleeping on the nightstand.

I knew she needed the main bedroom.

She needed control right now.

But she was choosing otherwise.

Probably for me?

She’s letting go of control for me.

She clearly said that in the car, even if she was trying to push me away.  

I wanted to give her any sense of control that I could right now.

I wanted to ground her.

To help her feel like she still has control of her world—our world, too.

“Monroe,” I whispered as we walked into the familiar bedroom, gently grabbing her hand by her side.

She glanced over with a hum, her blue eyes meeting mine, “Yes, darling?”

“I want to give you control,” I said, leaning into her rather than pulling her closer to me. “Whatever you want.”

Monroe shook her head. “I don’t want anything, sweetheart,” she assured me. “Just you.”

I tilted my head. “You need more,” I emphasized.

My girlfriend drew in a deep breath, eyeing my face for a moment.

A really long moment.

Then she nodded, reluctance clear behind her actions.

“Yes,” she whispered, and I knew it was because she didn’t want to lie to me.

Otherwise, she wanted to tell me no.

“I can give you more,” I insisted, leaning even closer. “I want to be the one to give you more, Monroe.”

She didn’t say anything.

She didn’t even react.

She just stared at me, trying to calculate her next move.

But as her girlfriend—and the person who knows her best, I knew there was no way around this.

She needs this.

So I slowly began stripping in front of her, reaching for the black skirt that clung to my thighs and sliding it down my legs.

It made the shirt tucked into it loosen around my torso, but even that didn’t stay on long.

Monroe remained silent, her hands clasped in front of her as her darkened blue eyes watched me with precision.

Goosebumps naturally rolled down my body as I removed every piece of clothing on my body.

Even my undergarments, leaving me entirely bare and exposed to the cold air.

Then I kneeled to the ground where I belonged for her.

I noticed her shoulders stiffen, like I was testing every ounce of her previous composure.

I sat on my knees folded beneath me, waiting for her to make the next move.

Waiting for her to take the control here.

There was this heavy impatience dripping in the air.

The longer I waited for her, the more impatient I got.

I lifted off my folded knees before I could stop myself, placing my hands on the cold floor beneath me.

Then… I crawled to her.

“Liberty.”

My lips twitched up slightly, knowing that I had done it.

I broke her composure.

But I wasn’t done, even as I stopped right by her shiny loafers that she wore around the house.

I leaned down, bending my arms beneath me—

Only to kiss the edge of her slipper.

I heard her let out the roughest sigh, making my face burn up with the deepest warmth.

“Mommy,” I purposely whispered, tilting my head back to meet her blue eyes.

She didn’t say a word.

She just stared down at me, squeezing her clasped hands tighter together.

Until finally—

She unclasped them with force, glancing away from me entirely.  

“Get on the bed.”

Her tone had changed.

That final string of resistance snapped when I said that word.

Mommy.

I knew it would.

I rose from my knees slowly and deliberately, as if I were still asking permission with every movement.

I didn’t look her in the eye again.

The control had shifted, and I wasn’t going to risk fumbling it.

Not after how hard she tried to hold it together.

I climbed onto the mattress with my spine straight and my shoulders soft.

No speaking.

Just my skin against the forest green sheets that pressed into my back as I waited.

I didn’t need a rope to stay still for her.

I didn’t need orders to know what not to do.

I know her now.

The silence was thick in the air.  

She didn’t move at first.

I knew she was watching.

Processing.

Probably deciding how much she was allowed to take from me tonight without breaking me beyond repair.

Then I heard her step forward.

Two slow clicks of her loafers against the floor.

She walked around the bed, and I finally looked up.

She was already unbuttoning her shirt, her eyes never leaving mine.

Her knuckles dragged slowly down the buttons like she was testing me.

Like she was daring me to say something.

I didn’t.

She peeled the shirt off and let it drop to the floor, revealing the smoothness of her soft pale skin.

It always felt rewarding even staring at her like this.

Naked, completely exposed.

“Head down,” she said.

I did.

Immediately.

The back of my head hit the mattress with my arms resting beside me, and my legs still parted like she hadn’t told me to close them.

Because she hadn’t.

She stared down at me like I was a loaded gun, and she was finally ready to pull the trigger.

Monroe crawled onto the bed with her usual calmness, knees on either side of my thighs but never touching.

Her fingers ghosted along my ribcage… almost like she was counting them.

And then, finally—

Her hand wrapped around my throat.

I gasped.

Not from pressure—but from the suddenness of her actions.

“Breathe,” she whispered. “But don’t move, Liberty.”

Her palm wasn’t tight.

But it was definitely there, reminding me who was in charge.

Her eyes didn't shift from me in the slightest.

She was openly watching every deep breath I took, analyzing me below her.

My body wanted to arch into her and feel more—I wanted to do something.

Anything.

But I didn’t.

I stayed perfectly still.

That was the control she needed right now.

My girlfriend needed stillness.

“You want me to take control, Liberty?” she asked me, her soft voice lowered with me.

“Yes,” I whispered, my voice barely holding steady. “Please.”

Her hand tightened—not enough to cut off breath, just enough to make me shift under her.

She suddenly leaned down until her face hovered just above mine.

Her lips brushing mine, teasing me with the idea of a kiss.

“You don’t speak unless I ask you something. Is that clear?”

I nodded.

Wrong answer.

Her hand moved.

Slap.

My thigh stung, the sound of the slap echoing throughout the air.

It was a sharpness, and it all happened so quickly.

Enough to make me cry out.

Monroe tilted her head. “Did I ask for a nod, Liberty?”

“No, Mommy,” I breathed quickly, answering her question just as she wanted.

Her hand returned to my throat, her eyes flickering down my body like she was mapping every place she planned to break and rebuild.

“I don’t want to be gentle with you, darling,” she admitted in a soft whisper.

Then she tilted her head, her brows furrowing together.  

I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to answer.

If I should.

So I just remained silent, drawing in a deep breath when her grip on my neck tightened ever so slightly.

Monroe was calm, her hands openly roaming my body for seconds on end.

I didn’t move.

And I definitely didn’t say a word.

Even when she caressed my inner thighs, her blue eyes gauging any sudden reactions on my face.

I tried my best not to react when she pulled away entirely.

But she didn't just pull her hand away.

She crawled off my body, leaving me cold.

I wanted to ask what she was doing—where she was going.

But I didn’t.

I just laid on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, waiting for her to return back to me.

I was there for minutes on end.

I knew she had fully left the room, but I still didn’t move an inch.

I waited and waited, listening for any signal that she was back.

Once I heard the soft patter of her loafers again, my heart beat picked up ever so slightly, wondering where she had gone off to.

Or more importantly, what she had brought back with her.

I didn’t get any sort of view of her until she was between my legs again—

With the familiar restraint in her grasp and a few toys that she set down beside me.

“Forced orgasms,” she softly murmured, making my breath hitch.

But I didn’t show the sudden panic on my face.

I just let her tie me up in the all too familiar restraint that she had used on me during our time together in that hotel room.

She wrapped the cuffs around my ankles, pressing my thighs into the bed as she pulled the tether behind my neck, keeping my legs spread wide.

It kept me entirely in place for her.

And really fucking exposed.

So many memories resurfaced from the other times she had used this restraint on me.

And those awful forced orgasms.

But she needed this.

She doesn’t want to be gentle with me tonight.

And I’ll take anything for her, always.

“Safe word?”

Fuck.

She hasn’t reaffirmed that with me in so long.

That means she has plans to break me without a doubt.

“Yellow,” I answered, not wanting to make her wait too long.

“Good girl,” she murmured, grabbing one of the vibrators beside me.

I drew in a deep breath the moment she pressed the vibrations against my clit, trying my best not to shift.

I didn’t make a sound either, knowing that was her demand.

I pressed my lips tightly together, breathing heavy and deep as she rubbed the vibrator firmer against my clit.

She was trying to provoke me.

I only breathed heavier, refusing to make a sound.

I tuned out her soft voice, knowing that only turned me on even more.

I couldn’t listen to her talk right now, or else I would moan or shift under her.

My body was so reactive, my nipples hardening and my body trembling, especially when I hit my first orgasm.

Monroe hummed the moment I gripped the sheets underneath me, my legs trembling as she slid the vibrator inside of me.

“Lovely,” she whispered, openly staring at my core as she drew the toy in and out of me at a purposely quick pace.

It wasn’t even just the pace.

It was the way she curved the toy into me, how she openly watched my core swallow the toy with each thrust.

I dug my fingers so deeply into the sheets that my nailbeds began to burn, quickly hitting my second orgasm.

But I didn’t make a sound.

I didn’t move.

I was doing so good for her.

I could tell she was impressed.

I definitely couldn’t have done this months ago.

She built me to this level.

I quickly squeezed my eyes closed the moment she pressed her fingers against my clit, rubbing them against me as she continued thrusting the vibrator.

That was it.

I could feel everything slipping away from me, even reality.

I breathed deeper and heavier, my entire body trembling as I tried to hit a third orgasm for her without making a sound or moving.  

“My beautiful girl,” I heard her softly whisper, even if I was desperately trying to tune her voice out.

It only makes this harder for me.

Clearly, given that I hit my third orgasm just seconds after she praised me.

Fuck.

But I refused to say my safe word.

I refused to disobey the clear orders she gave me, either.

At least until I hit my seventh orgasm.

It was the same number I had made it to the very first time we did forced orgasms.

I needed to make it to eight, but everything burned from how tightly I was squeezing every bone in my body.

It felt like I had cramps all throughout my body.

Tears were even streaming down my face, silently crying as I tried to hit my eighth for her.

But I genuinely had no hope.

I didn’t think I could do it.

Everything was hurting.

Even the pulse buried at my core.

“Yellow,” I cried out, my body spasming the moment I hit my peak.

Monroe immediately pulled away regardless of whether I was in the midst of my eighth orgasm.

I turned my head as the cries finally flowed from my lips, echoing throughout the once-silent room.

I could feel her undoing the restraints as I broke down even more, my cries drawn out and desperate.

“I-I did it,” I mumbled weakly, unable to move my legs or arms.

I was just sprawled out there, leaving my girlfriend to fix the aftermath of it all.

“I hit eight,” I whispered, crying even harder as I buried my face deeper against the soft mattress, wanting this unbearable pain to go away.

“You did, darling,” I heard her softly whisper, feeling her hands gently knead into my thighs first. “I’m proud of you.”

I could only force a hum, even if her words made me feel so much better.

She’s proud of me.

That’s all I could think about, even as she massaged every inch of my body, trying to loosen the stiffness left behind.

I felt a lot better after that.

And after a hot bath with Epsom salt.

My body just felt really loose, too loose.

It wasn’t a great feeling, honestly, but it was worth it knowing it helped my girlfriend regain some of her control back.

She looked so much more relaxed after it all.

She wasn't as tense, so I definitely didn’t have any regrets.

Especially once I got settled in bed, tucked in comfortably by Monroe.

I glanced away from the TikTok I was watching, looking at the top of my screen where a phone call suddenly showed.

From Kaia.

I glanced around the bedroom, even though Monroe was busy downstairs making dinner for us.

I wanted my girlfriend to be aware of this call before I took it, but it was also hard to walk right now.

So I drew in a deep breath, pressing the green button to answer the call.

I would tell Monroe all the details right after.

The last thing she needs is another curveball.

“Hey,” I awkwardly said, unsure what to say first.

“Libby, hey,” Kaia whispered. “Sorry, I’m just now calling. The last couple of days feel blurry.”

I blinked a few times, “No, it’s all good,” I whispered with furrowed brows.

“She-um, is she around?” Kaia asked, her voice growing lower on the other end of the line.

I knew who she was referring to.

Monroe.

“No, why?” I asked.

The line went silent for a moment, easily confusing me more.

“I just… after knowing what happened that night, I’m worried about you,” Kaia briefly explained.

“You actively told our business, Kaia,” I pointed out, sitting up in bed even if it made me wince. “She did what she had to do in the moment.”

“Are you serious?” Kaia asked, “So you think that was the right thing to do, Libby? Mess with my head like that? Because I’m still fucking recovering.”

I shook my head, “No, I’m not saying it was right. I’m just saying she had her reaso—”

“Do you hear yourself? You’re sticking up for what she did,” Kaia pointed out, making my brows furrow. “Your mom was right. She’s totally in your head.”

I scoffed, “Okay, and?” I asked, fully over trying to deny it.

Maybe Monroe is in my head, but why does it even matter?

I allow her to be there.

“And this isn’t healthy, Libby. Please,” Kaia nearly begged on the other end of the line. “You just fully admitted to her being in your head. You’re okay with that.”

“No,” I immediately said, feeling my face burn up from this conversation alone. “You don’t fucking get it. She’s not just in my head. She is my head—my thoughts, my body, my fucking blood. It’s all hers,” I emphasized, wanting her to understand that this is deeper than she can imagine.

That I want it to be deeper.

“She’s consumed me completely, I’m not even sure I exist without her anymore,” I said.

I couldn’t live without Monroe.

I wouldn’t want to live without her.

“And I don’t care. I’ll let her keep taking and taking until there’s nothing left, and I’ll fucking beg her for more,” I added, my words firmer than ever. “I want this. I’m choosing this. I don’t need fucking saving, Kaia, so stop trying to bud into my life.”

I didn’t wait for her to respond.

I just ended the call, determining that I was so fucking done with trying to put her first, too.

I had my mother send a professional to undo all the work Monroe did, and still, Kaia feels the need to do this.

I’ve been putting Kaia first this entire time, and I think that’s why I’m in this predicament to begin with.  

I don’t know why I can’t let her go.

Why I can’t let our friendship go.

It was all so fucking toxic, and yet I still can’t detach.

Even right now, I’m so irritated by her, yet I know I would be there in an instant if she needed me.

“She's so annoying,” I sighed, shaking my head as I got out of bed to head downstairs.

I needed to rant about this phone call immediately.

Also, Monroe needed to be aware that Kaia and I talked to prevent any more issues from arising.

We’re a team now, so we make decisions together moving forward.

“Ro,” I said as soon as I entered the kitchen.

My girlfriend turned away from the stove immediately, lowering the spoon in the steaming pot.

“You aren’t supposed to be up, darling,” she said, instinctively walking over to me. “I told you I would bring dinner up to you.”

I shook my head, “No, I know. I’m just so irritated—”

“What happened?” Monroe cut me short, her brows furrowed as she pulled out one of the chairs at the counter for me.

“Kaia called me,” I explained, motioning to my phone in my hand as she helped me sit in the tall chair. “Whatever work my mother had done on her worked, I guess, because now she’s telling me you’re dangerous. How you’re in my head.”

I shook my head at my words, my ears nearly burning off.

“I can’t believe her. Can you?” I asked, glancing over to my girlfriend.

“I can’t say I’m surprised,” she determined, her expression too calm for my liking.

It made me tilt my head, having second thoughts about ranting to her like this.

“We’re a team, right? We make decisions together?” I clarified.  

“Of course, darling,” Monroe assured me, gently massaging her hands into my shoulders. “I meant to tell you earlier about the NDA sent over. I assure you. I’m still... adjusting to this dynamic.”

I remained silent, nodding my head hesitantly.

Monroe leaned down, her soft lips right by my ear. “Any big decisions, life-altering decisions, are made with you first, Liberty,” she softly whispered, gently kissing my neck.

I let out a deep sigh at her reassuring words. “Okay,” I whispered, “Thank you.”

“Thank you for your patience with me,” Monroe said, leaning past the side of my face to meet my stare.

There was a brief halt on her end.

Almost like she had recalled something.

“Speaking of,” Monroe suddenly whispered, reaching down to grab my hand in my lap.

I tilted my head when she pressed a soft kiss to the back of my hand, feeling soft butterflies run loose in my stomach from her actions.

Or maybe it was the way she was staring down at me.

There was this deep look behind her blue eyes.

One that made my cheeks heat up.

“I wanted to talk to you about earl—”

She was cut short by the ringing of her phone on the counter, naturally diverting her focus away from me.

It made her blink a few times, gently letting go of my hand.

“One moment,” Monroe suddenly said, walking around the counter to grab her phone, “I’ll only be a few minutes. Keep an eye on the stove for me, darling.”

I nodded a few times, even if I was beyond curious about what she was about to tell me.

Still, I watched the stove as she instructed, waiting patiently for her as she took the phone call out on the back patio.

It was all on low, so it was fine, honestly.

Monroe only took a few minutes as she specified, but when she came back inside again, we never resumed our conversation.

She focused on dinner instead, making our plates so we could eat, and I let her.

I assumed maybe her phone call was a lot, so she didn’t want to immediately get back into another possible serious conversation?

I’m not sure, honestly.

I was really curious, but I tried my best to focus on the food instead.

Monroe had made us a tomato bisque, grilled chicken, and broccoli.

The soup was my favorite, especially with the rainy weather today.

It was perfectly seasoned, and it warmed me up, too.

The grilled chicken and broccoli tasted nice between bites, too.

By the time I finished eating, I was officially ready for my girlfriend to bring up the topic we were discussing again.  

At least until my phone began ringing on the table, diverting our attention.   

I naturally rolled my eyes when I read her name on the bright screen.

An annoyed sigh fell from my lips, answering the call before I could think it through.

“Kaia, I’m serious. Just leave me alone—”

“Ms. Fierro?” I heard a deeper voice interject, immediately confusing me. “This is Kaia’s father. I’m calling from the hospital—my hospital,” he briefly explained, making my heart drop. “Kaia was in an accident.”

I was frozen, my brows furrowing as I processed the news he just told me.

How my stomach twisted in the worst way.

Then I glanced over to my girlfriend seated by me, drawing in the deepest breath of my life.

What did she do?