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Destinee Holland
Destinee Holland

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The 𝓟review

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄
The Thin Line.

Fall was always my favorite season.

The way the leaves changed color and slowly withered away until there was nothing left of them.

All the hot drinks that burned your chest just right.

Even the chilly air felt soft, exhilarating even, as it blew against your face.

Fall in Seattle was always perfect.

I cherished it for four years in a row.

Fall in California… not even remotely the same feeling.

There’s an emptiness that comes with being back here, preparing to spend the fall season surrounded by palm trees instead of the evergreens that feel too alive to be in the midst of dying.

I hated it.

And it’s not just fall.

It’s everything about California.

This was the last place I wanted to be.

But I couldn’t go back to Seattle, and I didn’t really have a plan for where I wanted to be quite yet.

I can’t bring myself to make a permanent decision, like signing a lease or laying down roots.

I haven’t even bothered to make any new friends here.

I spend my time on FaceTime with Zion and Sarai any chance I get between work.

I’ve been freelancing right now—yes, I’m looking for jobs.

There are plenty of them here in California.

Or Boston… another place I had been looking.

But Boston is too close to New York, and—

It doesn’t matter.

None of it really does anymore.

I’ve graduated, left Seattle, and closed that terrible fucking chapter of my life, and now—

Libby!

I glanced away from the window, my eyes landing on the smiling barista.

I pursed my lips, trying my best to force a smile, but I was probably failing terribly.

Every place in LA just drains it out of me.

Whether it’s the influencers walking around or the random celebrity sightings.

This place doesn’t even feel real, much less like a home.

Sometimes I wake up and think I was dropped into someone else’s body.

Someone else’s life.

But no.

This is my reality.

I chose this.  

“Thanks,” I said, grabbing the warm cup of Chai tea from the barista who had already moved on to the next thing.

I let out a soft sigh as I walked out of the coffee shop in the annoying athleisure that I said I would never give in to.

But it’s easier to fit in.

And the morning Pilates classes help get my mind in shape for the day.

I’ve managed to pack my schedule in with numerous freelancing gigs, which is really good experience-wise.

It also keeps me busy.

My brain doesn’t wander where it shouldn’t.

Not that I would let it anyway.

Even as I drive back to the usual Beverly Hills estate, I often listen to podcasts over music.

Something my past self would never believe.

She also wouldn’t believe that I traded my Mercedes in for a Porsche Panamera.

It was a graduation gift from my mom, and god knows, I needed to trade out all of my old things weighed down with memories.

Kaia had texted me when she heard I had joined the Porsche crew, telling me congratulations.

Her memory is still foggy, but her dad seems to be more active in her life, so I’m happy for her.

We don’t really talk often, unless it’s for some kind of milestone.

I’m basically all alone here in LA, especially since I’m staying at my mother’s vacation house.

Her real residence is in Sacramento, the state capital, but I just couldn’t return to that house if I tried.

The wrap-around porch and the echoes of his laughter through the halls… it’s all better kept as a memory.

A groan vibrated in my throat, glancing down at my buzzing phone as I walked into the bright house.

Mom

It was displayed brightly across the screen, and one of the last calls I wanted to take right now.

Zion and Sarai had both managed to call me at least ten times within the span of this morning, too.

Everyone was on my do-not-talk-to list right now.

Well, everyone except—

Jynx,” I smiled, leaning down as my cat’s snowy fur brushed against my legs.

Her purr greeted me softly, along with the depths of her blue eyes staring up at me.   

She was the most beautiful cat anyone could ever lay eyes on.

And no, I’m not biased.

“My pretty Jynxie,” I whispered with a smile, running my manicured nails along her smooth fur. “Are you hungry?”

She only purred deeper as I caressed her fur, tilting her head against my hand.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” I murmured, gently scooping my hand underneath her small stomach and lifting her onto my arm entirely.

Jynx is very calm, at least for a cat.

She lets me carry her, cuddle her, and sometimes she gets playful, but she genuinely likes lounging.

She’s just like me, so it works out.

I set my chai tea down on the dark marble counter, reaching for the fridge handle as I cradled Jynx in one arm.

I focused on reheating the salmon I prepped for her a day ago, ensuring she had plenty to eat.

Also, fresh water in her porcelain leopard print bowl.

I couldn’t leave her there either.

Jynx won’t eat if you walk away—she’ll follow after you instead, so I make sure to sit with her as she eats, gently petting her fur.

Then, I carry her upstairs with me like any other morning, so I can get ready for my work day.

I don’t really have to wear anything crazy since I’m home-based, so I just pulled on a smooth Skim’s top and a pair of sweatpants.

After I showered and refreshed, I headed over to the office my mom kept here, except now it’s set up with all my different computers and laptops.  

 Jynx always has to sit in my lap.

Otherwise, she’ll meow and purr at my feet until I pick her up.

We both might have some separation anxiety here.

I always feel terrible when I have to leave her.

I normally get groceries delivered and leave the house for Pilates, just so I can be with her.

I’m officially a stay-at-home cat mom now.

I scrunched my nose up at the thought.

That sounds really fucking lonely.

This time last year, I was dancing on tables and taking tequila shots.

But I wouldn’t trade my new life for the world, especially with Jynx and this calmness.

A sigh echoed from my lips when a call buzzed on my phone again.

This time from Zion.

“What do we say, Jynxie?” I whispered, glancing away from one of the computer screens. “Should I answer?”

I pursed my lips as I stared down at her in my lap.

Her blue eyes were closed, and she was sprawled out, soft breaths echoing from her nose.

I smiled slightly as I watched her small stomach rise and fall.

I let out a deep sigh, swiping my thumb across the cold phone screen to answer the FaceTime call.

Finally,” his deep voice echoed from my phone speaker, earning an eyeroll from me.

“What do you want?” I asked, briefly turning my phone to my computer screen, “I’m working.”

Zion’s lips spread into a smile. “I wanted, or we wanted—”

To wish you a happy birthday!” I heard Sarai cut him short.

And then suddenly her face popped into the camera, a wide smile spread across her lips.

I forced a smile. “Thanks, guys,” I murmured, even if the last thing I wanted to do was celebrate right now.

Twenty-two doesn’t even feel like a big deal.

I don’t even go out anymore anyway.

“We’re coming to LA this weekend, so we can do something to celebrate,” Zion said, making me furrow my brows.

“You guys don’t have to do that,” I said, using my other hand to pet Jynx.

“Uh, yeah, we do,” Sarai said jokingly, her smile growing. “It’s your birthday. Of course, we’re going to see you.”

I forced my smile to grow wider. “I’m really not in a celebrating mood.”

“Then we’ll do something chill. Like a movie night, takeout, and candy,” Zion offered, somehow making my smile grow genuine.

“That sounds nice, actually,” I determined.

“And I’ll get some Jynx time,” Sarai murmured, making my eyes narrow.

“Not too much. She’s practically attached to me,” I pointed out.

Jynx loves it whenever Zion and Sarai visit.

She even likes my mom, who comes into town every couple of weeks.

But she’s quite literally my other half.

We only separate whenever I have to leave the house.

“Then we can all be attached together,” Sarai joked, earning a chuckle from me.

“We could all be attached forever if you came back to Seattle,” Zion suddenly said, “You do still want to come back, right?”

“Yeah-yes, of course,” I didn’t hesitate to say.

And I wasn’t lying.

The memories of everything just felt so hard to face, but I knew I would have to eventually.

I want to go home.

Seattle is my home.

“You know, there’s a new tech fellowship available here? It just popped up today, on LinkedIn. The University of Washington is sponsoring it,” Zion said, earning a few nods from me.

“I saw it,” I sighed.

 It was hard not to see it, honestly.

I have my alerts on for any new Seattle listings, and this one would be a gold mine for anyone, considering the annual pay is guaranteed to be over one hundred thousand dollars.

As an entry-level, that’s huge.

“Well, I went ahead and applied. The pay is really good, and Sarai can focus more on her master’s degree,” Zion said, briefly panning the phone to Sarai. “No pressure if you don’t want to, but it would be nice to have you back in Seattle, and we might get to work together. It says there are three spots.”

“Yes, it sounds—"

I glanced away from my phone when the doorbell suddenly rang throughout the house, making Jynx’s beautiful blue eyes blink open.

She naturally laid up from my lap, leaping down before I even stood from my chair.

“One second, guys,” I mumbled, standing from the plush office chair to walk downstairs.

I tuned out Zion and Sarai discussing our plans for the weekend.   

They seemed to have it all figured out anyway.

I was more focused on the doorstep upon opening the front door, which was packed with different things.

Flowers, gift bags, chocolates.

It made my stomach sink.

“What is it, Libs?” I heard Zion’s voice echo, making me shift the camera away from my face.

Nothing,” I quickly said, drawing in the deepest breath.

I’ll just donate all of this to a shelter or something.

Simple.

It doesn’t even bother me.

“Actually,” I suddenly said, flipping the camera around so they could see.

The silence was deafening.

And I could see their expressions slowly fall.

Because we all knew who it was from.

“Oh wow…” Sarai trailed off, attempting to smile, but even I could tell it was forced.

“I’m not keeping any of it,” I mumbled, bending down past Jynx to grab one of the flower bouquets.

Wait,” Zion’s voice suddenly echoed, making me halt for a moment. “The name on the card, Libs.”

I furrowed my brows, glancing past my phone at the card.

Happy Bday!
-Ollie

That’s what the card said.

“Oh,” I whispered, blinking a few times as I processed that these weren’t from her.

The rest probably is.

“That’s our one classmate from last semester—”

I know-I know,” I cut Zion off, setting the flowers on the entry table to grab the other things.

“This one is from Denise,” I said, reading the card on the tulips before I set them on the table with the roses.

“Maybe they just dropped everything off at once,” Sarai determined as I grabbed more of the gifts.

They were from my old classmates.

Even Kaia got me a pink Chanel card holder.

It turns out, Sarai was right—everything really was delivered at once.

I hung up on Zion and Sarai to call the delivery number, and they confirmed it was easier to drop off at once.

It was nice to hear.

But also weird?

I felt this wave of relief and grief all at the same time.

Relieved that it wasn’t her, but also the same heaviness that I felt when I had to come to terms that she wasn’t the one.

That we would never be together again, and there was nothing that I could do about it.

The heavy feeling always fades faster each time I experience it.

Or maybe the love I had for her blurred into hate.

They say there’s a thin line, and I’ve officially crossed it.

“Hi, Jynxie,” I murmured as I popped one of the chocolates into my mouth.

Jynx stretched out over my slipper, full-on lying across my foot.

It made me chuckle, eyeing her small body as I grabbed another one of the expensive chocolates.

But the more I chewed, the more I thought about Zion’s words and that stupid tech fellowship.

It wouldn’t hurt to apply, I guess.

Maybe it’s time to head back to Seattle, especially with Fall approaching.

It’s only August twenty-second, so I can experience my favorite season back in the city that feels most like home.

And I would be surrounded by all of my friends again.

I should apply.

If I get in, then it’ll be a sign.

That means I’m meant to go back.

I let out a deep sigh, glancing away from Jynx to grab my phone.

I quickly unlocked it to open the LinkedIn app, scrolling for the recent tech fellowship.

It already showed over a thousand applicants applied, and it was just posted yesterday.

I shook my head as I briefly scanned the details.

Title: Biomedical Software Innovation Fellowship
Duration: 12 months (with potential extension)
Compensation: $110,000 annual salary + full benefits

Program Highlights:

It sounded perfect, and what if Zion and I both get it?

That would be even more perfect—almost too good to be true.

It’s also sponsored by the University of Washington.

We both graduated there, so maybe that adds to our application?

I briefly pursed my lips, hovering my thumb over the Apply button.

I was frozen for endless seconds.

Until finally—

I pressed the button.

Then I got to work filling out the necessary details, which LinkedIn mostly auto-filled for me.

My resume was also saved on the app, so that was easy to upload to the application as well.

Then I just had to digitally sign a few things that I quickly skipped through before submitting everything.  

I did it all in under ten minutes—just like that.

I was a little shocked that I even applied.

I stood there for a few moments, processing my actions.

But weirdly enough, it felt good.

Really good.

It’s almost like I had been stagnant for the last four months.

And now, finally, I had made progress.

I glanced back down at my phone when it buzzed with an email.

I furrowed my brows, clicking on the notification immediately.

Subject: Fellowship Acceptance—Biomedical Software Innovation Fellowship

Dear Ms. Fierro,

Your application has been accepted. Details regarding relocation, housing, and onboarding will follow within the week. Please confirm receipt of this message.

Best,
Kara Briggs
Chief of Staff

I blinked a few times, rereading the email again before clicking on the acceptance letter PDF attached.

Biomedical Software Innovation Fellowship
University of Washington Partnership Program

Dear Ms. Fierro,

Congratulations! We are pleased to inform you that you have been selected for the Biomedical Software Innovation Fellowship. After careful review of your application materials, our selection committee was impressed by your academic achievements and background in software engineering.

Your fellowship will begin this fall and run for 12 months, with a possibility of extension. The program includes a $110,000 annual stipend, a full housing package in Seattle, relocation assistance, and a project portfolio with potential for patents and industry placement. Fellows also gain access to international conferences and the chance to build a high-impact project portfolio.

Additional onboarding materials will be sent to you within the week. Please confirm receipt of this letter.

Sincerely,
Fellowship Selection Committee

There’s no way I just applied to this position five minutes ago, and they’ve already accepted me.

Without an interview or anything?

Careful review, my ass.

They didn’t review anything—there’s no way.

Should I have read everything more thoroughly?

But it’s sponsored by the University of Washington—it’s completely legit.

I’m so confused.

My brows furrowed deeper as I read through the UW-themed PDF, but I was quickly interrupted when my phone buzzed with a FaceTime call.

From Zion.

I didn’t hesitate to answer, wanting to tell him about this weird experience I had just encountered.

“Zi, you won’t believe what just happened. I applied—”

I got in,” his excited voice echoed loudly from my phone, Sarai jumping up and down behind him. “That tech fellowship. They accepted me, Libs.”

I remained silent, glancing away from my phone.

This is good.

Right?

So why is there this pit in my stomach?

“They didn’t interview me, though, so it’s weird,” Zion added, causing Sarai to shake her head.

“But it’s sponsored by our old school, and that little acceptance letter was legit, babe. Just show up and check it out,” she said, glancing over at the camera, “Tell him to go, Libs.”

I was still silent, entirely zoned out as I tried to process the fact that I would be back in Seattle by next week.  

It was overwhelming.

I felt overwhelmed by the idea.

“Libs?” Zion’s voice suddenly cut into my thoughts, making my stare shift to the phone. “Is everything good?”

I was silent for a moment, trying to think about what to say next.

If I tell them I’m going.

But clearly, I’m meant to go.

I said I would apply.

If I got accepted, it would be a sign.

This is the sign, obviously.

I got accepted, too.”

The words fell from my lips before I could stop myself.

And that was it.

My decision was sealed.

I’m going back to Seattle.

And this time, it would all be different, in the best way.

I’ll make sure of it.

Consumed: Still Hers — Coming September 8th

⨳Authors Note⨳

 Hi, Lusties. Hopefully, you enjoyed this little peek into book two. Feel free to comment or debrief in the comments. There’s already a lot to pick apart here… but that’s all I’ll say. If the first book didn’t break you, this one will.

Excited to get into the lab with you,
-Lust

The 𝓟review

Comments

I’m guessing it’s been a few months since Monroe’s parent wanted them married by summer and Libby mentioned something about it only being April and she mentions fall so I’m guessing like three or fourth or five months later

Iritze Meza

how long has it been since she left seattle?

💻💻


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