Kingdom Come: Chapters 1-18 Feedback Thread
Added 2019-04-02 18:34:57 +0000 UTCPhew - we're at about the 55K mark now with Kingdom Come, and given that you guys are the first people besides my wife to read any of it, I would be very interested in your feedback. I am tragically awful at assessing my own writing.
Is KC hitting the spot for you - and if not, why not? What moments made you laugh? Which ones tried, but fell short? Anything you say can and will be used to improve this book :)
Comments
It hasn't been put through an editor (in this case, Tim Marquitz) yet. This is the Alpha Draft, raw and uncut - that stuff will absolutely be fixed in the final version :)
James Osiris Baldwin
2019-04-04 01:08:31 +0000 UTCYeah, definitely. I have big plans for Karalti (and Suri, too) - roles and abilities that don't directly involve Hector.
James Osiris Baldwin
2019-04-04 01:07:15 +0000 UTCThe story seems awesome so far. The only thing I can see that needs improvement is maybe a little grammar, word-choice, and spelling here and there. But that’s just me being a bit nit-picky. I’m really loving the characters development. I can’t wait to buy the book.
Zohatu
2019-04-03 15:07:25 +0000 UTCI hope that made sense.
Anira
2019-04-03 01:25:36 +0000 UTCWell i know like the previous books there will be more actions scenes and their adventures will continue to grow and develop. I'm waiting to see how those unfold and if they hold up to your previous books in these regards. I love the premise of the Mass Combat System, and the advanced crafting skill. They show promise and give something to look forward to as Hector and his group try and stop the Demon that is plaguing Myzno, but I'm curious how they are actually going to be put to use. I like the dynamic and potential with Karalti's new form, but I'm hoping that she continues to develop and be the type of character that makes you attached and wanting to see something like a spin off series, or fanfics about, and that she doesn't turn into a plot device of "I'm going to be with Hector just cause i can". I don't think you'll turn her into such a simple character as she is a main character, but i know from experience, the more characters that are introduced the harder it becomes to keep individual characters interesting and ensure they have page time that feels fulfilling for both the reader, and the character.
Anira
2019-04-03 01:24:13 +0000 UTCMy question is: "What is it missing that you'd start off with 'I like this so far' instead of 'OMG I LOVE IT!' It's a draft manuscript, and this is a serious question :D
James Osiris Baldwin
2019-04-03 01:12:36 +0000 UTCI am liking Kingdom Come so far. There has been a pleasant mix of drama, humor, and other fun bits. I like the bit between Karalti and Suri, they bounce of each other well, and provide a good bit of comedic drama. This works to keep things light hearted while at the same time not turning the book into a RomCom. I like how Hector doesn't suffer from the protagonist plot armor and holes and actual has to face moral problems instead of just being walking through things in ignorant bliss.
Anira
2019-04-02 22:11:06 +0000 UTC
