Chapter 11: Three Birds with One Stone

Time flew by, and in the blink of an eye, a week had passed.

During that time, Reiji and a dozen other children trained under Mizukuma, learning everything there was to know about being a covert agent—in other words, how to be a proper spy.

They covered everything from facial expression control and blending into a crowd, to a hundred ways to jump into conversations, how to play dumb, and how to use their age to fish for intel.

Basically, it was a crash course in sales tactics.

It wasn’t just facial microexpressions and child psychology—social psychology was in there too. Ruthless stuff.

Mizukuma, who had once been all serious and proper, completely shifted gears for this. He turned into a hard-nosed instructor—snapping at any mistake, all cold authority and strict discipline. Pure stoic drill sergeant vibes.

If he’d been a beautiful woman, Reiji was sure he would’ve fallen for her and started some romance that ended in surprise maternity leave.

The week-long training wrapped up, and one by one, the kids were escorted home by their assigned supervising ninja to pack. Only Reiji remained, lounging in Mizukuma’s office, sipping tea like he owned the place.

Not because he didn’t have a supervisor—his was Mizukuma.

“Class is over. I’m heading out tomorrow,” Reiji said, setting his cup down with a relaxed smile.

“Hmph, eager to leave the village, are you?” Mizukuma snorted, face stern.

Reiji nonchalantly brushed some dust off the table.

“Oh, drop the act. Everyone’s gone. And anyway, wasn’t it Kandachi and Hanzƍ-sama who arranged for me to leave? What am I supposed to do, fight back?”

Mizukuma went quiet, that usually composed face sagging.

Honestly, every time he taught these kids and saw their nervous, babyish faces, it tore at him inside.

The only time the guilt eased up was when he was around Reiji and his constant smirking.

At first, he’d hated seeing Reiji’s eager face. But the more time he spent with these kids, the harder it got to look into their eyes.

He was terrified they’d ask him, all wide-eyed and innocent, “Mizukuma-sensei, will we ever come back to the village?”

He remembered what Hanzƍ-sama had once told him: do everything in your power to protect the village and the children. And when death came, smile and pass that belief on to the next generation.

But now? Hanzƍ-sama, the very person who spoke of protecting the children, was turning them into undercover agents.

And what are agents like that? Shadows. People who live in the dark. Sleep with one eye open. Spend their lives filled with anxiety.

Hanzƍ-sama! Hanzƍ! Hanzƍ of the Salamander! You’ve abandoned your ideals!

Tears welled up inside, but Mizukuma stayed silent.

Seeing the storm on Mizukuma’s face, Reiji’s own expression slowly darkened.

“Bang!” The table rattled as papers flew into the air. Reiji shot to his feet and grabbed Mizukuma by the collar.

“Come on! I’m gonna help you find your conviction again!”

With that, he yanked Mizukuma with brute force and bolted toward Kabukichƍ First Street.

Right then, he made no effort to hide his strength.

He was leaving tomorrow. After that, he’d be free—no cursed seal was going to hold him back. And Mizukuma? He was Reiji’s only real bond in Amegakure, both mentor and friend.

He couldn’t just stand by and watch him spiral into darkness.

So there he was, dragging Mizukuma in the most humiliating position imaginable.

“Wait! Let go of me! Reiji—put me down, you little bastard! Who goes to the red light district in the middle of the day?!”

At that point, Mizukuma’s ideals were long gone. All he could think about was the embarrassment, the social humiliation... and never getting a date again.

A grown man being dragged through the red light district by a seven- or eight-year-old—what a beautiful disaster.

The realization that his chances at romance had just died hit Mizukuma like a ton of bricks. His eyes welled up, and he broke down, sobbing.

Damn this stupid village. Damn this stupid kid. He’d lost his chance at happiness for the rest of his life!

Watching Mizukuma bawl his eyes out, Reiji finally relaxed and thought, “The red light district really is a great place. It cleared his head in no time.”

With that thought, his spirits soared. Ignoring the weird stares from people on the street, he charged straight toward the front doors of the Ame Free Information Center.

“Keep pushing yourself. Clear your mind in one go, see your true nature, strengthen your conviction. You’ve got this!”

With that, he shoved Mizukuma into a private room at the "Ame Free Information Center."

Mizukuma seemed to know he didn’t have the face to meet anyone right now and let himself be half-dragged inside.

Seeing this, Reiji casually shut the door and returned to the main hall.

In the lobby, Mikiko—the woman who had “secretly decided to spend the rest of her life with him”—was nowhere to be seen. Instead, it was Mizukuma’s old flame, a girl named Meiya, standing out front.

“Hi, Meiya,” Reiji greeted her with a look of innocent friendliness.

“Hey there, little brother.” Meiya smiled back, then glanced up at the sky outside and asked curiously, “Why are you here so early today? Yukiko isn’t even done getting ready yet~”

“Uh
” Reiji’s eyes darted for a moment before he gave a sheepish smile.

“Mizukuma-sensei said he couldn’t hold it anymore. He just wanted to see you as soon as possible and throw himself into your arms~”

“Really now? Kids who lie end up wetting their pants, you know~” Meiya gave him a half-smile, clearly not buying it.

In her line of work, she'd heard every kind of sweet talk there was. Something as bland and half-hearted as what Reiji just said—neither forward nor clever—barely registered anymore.

“It’s true,” Reiji insisted, nodding firmly, then added with mock indignation, “He also said you’re kind and generous, and how great it would be to marry someone like you!”

“What?” Meiya’s eyes widened in surprise, her smile faltering as she quickly asked, “He really said that?”

“He did. If you don’t believe me, go ask him yourself. Just say, ‘Someone wants to marry you—would you say yes?’”

That was all Meiya needed to hear.

For a woman like her, finding someone decent to marry was already something to be grateful for. And while Mizukuma wasn’t exactly a looker, his status as a special jƍnin and a golden bachelor made him more than desirable among the geisha.

Besides, women like her—used to seeing the insincerity of men—often fell harder when they finally encountered real feelings. Like moths to a flame.

As soon as Reiji finished, Meiya spun around and bolted for the back room without a care for her image. A moment later, faint panting sounds could be heard from inside.

Looked like the guy pulled it off!

If Mizukuma couldn’t marry a proper girl because of his own circumstances, then why not just go for someone from the red-light district?

Besides, Mizukuma had said it himself—she was a performer, not a prostitute.

Just then, another door opened, and Yukiko stepped out, fully dressed and neatly made up. She gave Reiji a puzzled look.

“Hey, little brother, have you seen Meiya?”

Reiji lifted his chin and nodded toward the inner room.

But when Yukiko made to go in, he quickly reached out to stop her.

No way! If she walked in now, that romantic confession would instantly turn into a social death!

Thinking fast, Reiji blurted out, “Yukiko, where’s your boss? I haven’t seen her today.”

Yukiko giggled, stepped closer, crouched down in front of him, and playfully pinched his cheek.

“Didn’t know you were such a little romantic. It’s just a shame—your Mikiko left a week ago.”

When Reiji heard her call him a “romantic,” his face turned as black as coal.

Damn it. That wretched woman must’ve told them everything he’d said to her! Seriously—how could he have spouted those cheesy lines out loud?

Then again... he was leaving the village tomorrow. That thought alone brightened his mood.

“Leaving?” Reiji asked casually. “Is she coming back?”

“No idea~ Maybe she’ll be back tomorrow, maybe she’ll never come back~”

Yukiko grinned mischievously, teasing Reiji. She found the handsome little guy in front of her even cuter than her boss had described.

“What’s wrong? Do you miss her?”

Reiji nodded.

“Yeah, I miss her. Just like Mizukuma-sensei misses Yukiko-nee-san all night long.”

Yukiko was younger than Meiya and quite a bit more naĂŻve.

Her cheeks instantly turned red. She shot Reiji a shy glance and asked quietly, “And how does he miss me?”

“How else?” Reiji sighed with exaggerated weariness, then crossed his arms and hugged himself, swaying seductively as he spoke.

“Like this: Yukiko, you're like the rain in the village—falling in my heart all day long, flooding me, drowning me, ah~ Subarashii~”

Watching Reiji act all flirtatious, Yukiko finally couldn’t take it anymore. Her face went bright red, and her head felt like a boiling kettle, practically steaming.

“Stop it~ You’re embarrassing me to death~” Yukiko covered her face with both hands, feeling like she might pass out.

She’d dealt with plenty of guys who liked to get handsy and tell dirty jokes, but they just made her want to puke.

Yet these flirtatious lines—ones she’d never heard before, and a little too bold—didn’t disgust her at all coming from Reiji. Instead, her whole body felt weak.

Taking advantage of her dazed state, Reiji suddenly spoke with mock concern.

“By the way, Yukiko-nee-san, do you only sell your skills here, not your body?”

Still a bit out of it, Yukiko nodded instinctively.

“Yeah. Mikiko-nee-san’s amazing—she’s always looked out for us.”

Hearing that, Reiji’s lips curled into a sly grin as mischief surged through him.

“Oh right, Yukiko-nee-san, Mizukuma-sensei was talking in his sleep again.”

At the mention of Mizukuma, Yukiko's attention snapped back. Her eyes sparkled as she stared intently at Reiji.

“He mumbled something like, ‘I need to save up money and marry Yukiko.’

No, wait—it was, ‘After I become a Jƍnin, I’ll marry Yukiko.’

No, that’s not it either
 Ah! I forgot what he said!

Anyway, Yukiko-nee-san, don’t tell him I told you, okay~?”

Right then, Yukiko’s eyes were glassy with joy, her mind already flooded with sweet thoughts—she could only nod along dreamily.

Seeing this, Reiji laughed wildly on the inside.

Even though he’d be leaving the village tomorrow and wouldn’t get to witness Mizukuma’s upcoming hell, just knowing he’d orchestrated it all made him want to laugh out loud.

After saying goodbye to the thoroughly dazed Yukiko, Reiji left the “Ame Free Information Center” feeling completely satisfied. He took down the “Open” sign and locked the front door behind him.

It wasn’t hard to guess—tonight, Yukiko was definitely going to find a quiet moment to talk to Mizukuma alone.

A man and a woman alone, late at night... what else could they possibly talk about?

They were obviously going to end up in bed.

Knowing Mizukuma, he might even end up marrying both women.

That actually wouldn’t be so bad. Mizukuma liked them both anyway, and it’d save the two poor girls from falling even deeper. Plus, with wives to care for, he’d probably start saving money and living responsibly!

Three birds with one stone. Heh, I really am a genius!

Patting himself proudly on the shoulder, Reiji strutted out of the red light district, leaving behind the place where it all began.