Special Agent Field Reports, Feburary 2020

Secret Agent Avia Jiutai was assigned to Prague to investigate the alleged remains of a golem that were discovered in late December. When an old local building being used as a retail outlet for decades was torn down, a sealed basement was discovered underneath. Local news reported that ancient clay fragments of what appeared to be a large statue were found within. The SIU were contacted when lengthy and complicated mystical Hebrew writing was found on a scroll in the basement that suggested supernatural implications to the statue. Upon arrival, Agent Jiutai discovered that the local authorities and art historians had already begun to reconstruct the statue, which was a nearly three meter tall hulking humanoid with reptilian and turtle features. Upon completion of the statue's restoration, which involved acquiring more clay from the same river suspected as the golem's origin, it was suddenly re-activated, jolting to life and becoming animate. Prepared for a fight, the agent was surprised to watch the golem storm outside and begin gardening. An expert has been brought in to further study the golem for possible future reproduction.

Secret Agent Gedat Rakkin traveled to the newly re-opened Madam Zee's Museum of Mysteries in Melbourne, Australia, which had always featured a unique collection of artifacts and curiosities from across the world. Of particular interest to Rakkin was a crystal tea set alleged by the museum owners to have been owned by a vampire. The ornate and delicate set of cups and dishware is said to have originated in the 1800s and traveled across the globe in the possession of an unknown figure of considerable wealth. Upon request, Agent Rakkin and Agent Zirka sat down to examine and test the dishware. Immediately upon lifting the crystal tea kettle, Rakkin found that it seemed to fill itself with blood: his blood, as was later discovered through testing. It was when Agent Zirka expressed a deep, growing compulsion to drink the blood that the agents decided to extract themselves from the room. The tea set has been cleaned and returned to its display case, now tightly locked.

While in Melbourne, Special Agent Cat Zirka was requested by locals to investigate a small mystery in a nearby hotel. This building was a repurposed mansion built in the mid 1800s and was briefly used as the set of a few historic movies. The building featured an in-building mail slot system to allow letters to be sent from upper rooms to the ground floor. The system had been sealed and made unusable in 1944 but, in a recent renovation, one letter had been found lodged in the system dating back to 1899. The reason for calling in an SIU agent was clear immediately upon Agent Zirka's arrival: on the back of the seemingly innocuous love letter was an intricately drawn star chart. Analyzing this drawing, based on the very precise location of stars, the estimate is that it is a view of the night sky not from Earth, but from a location in the solar system's Oort Cloud and features astrological bodies not discovered until much later after the letter's supposed penning. The identity of the author is now the subject of research and investigation.

Special Agent Chaz Gates flew to a remote oceanic island to supervise the excavation of a newly discovered statue. It was described as similar in style to the famous Easter Island heads, although it is estimated to be far older. Discovered deep within a patch of jungle (wherein Agent Gates may have incidentally helped discover a new species of bird; we are still waiting to hear from experts in the field), the statue was first found as merely a rounded stone outcropping. By the time of the agent's arrival, most of its head had been revealed: an ancient, four meter tall representation of an anthropoid figure with markedly flat facial features. As Agent Gates assisted, more of the statue was revealed: below the first head was a second one of similar features. At roughly nine meters tall, the dig became increasingly difficult as more and more of the statue was revealed, having been much taller and buried much deeper than expected. Upon the discovery of a fourth stone head, wider and larger than the first three, the known height of the statue had already reached nearly 15 meters and more advanced subterranean radar devices were borrowed from Egyptian military. Excavation was halted when results suggested that the rest of the statue may extend well beyond the 50 meter penetration of the radar. A larger dig with more careful planning will be required for the further investigation of this statue which, according to Agent Gates, "just keeps going".

Sport, the famous lake monster of the North American Great Lakes, has been discovered to be real: and it demands citizen rights. Special Agent Kouroth reports that the local government in the Great Lakes region was surprised to wake up to a nine-meter-long sea serpent knocking on the door to their city hall. The situation was very quickly, if messily, covered up and has spawned nothing worse than internet rumors, but the truth remains that this long, scaled monster has admitted to growing weary of secrecy and to not only wanting public life, but legal status and personhood. Agent Kouroth was asked to help negotiate the difficult political hurdles of when a hopeful citizen is also both a scientific curiosity and a potentially endangered species. Further complicating matters is Kouroth's report that this serpent has begun to express "flirtatious" behavior with him. The Egyptian Government has been petitioned for the potential immigration and naturalization of this giant lake monster; meanwhile Agent Kouroth, still somewhat traumatized by the disastrous results of his last unusual romantic encounter, has petitioned the SIU for a re-assignment.  

Special Agent Neo's research into the discovery of pygmy animals may have opened up a bizarre new branch of evolutionary biology. Pygmy elephants, and other forms of island dwarfism, are well-known to the scientific community, but the bones discovered by the agent in the auction of a now-deceased collector are smaller than any specimen so far described. The bones of a giraffe and several other African herbivores are described to be impossibly small, with the giraffe only measuring roughly 27 centimeters at full height. These bones, analyzed by biologists hired privately by the SIU, are confirmed to be real biological specimens and show clear signs of full development: they are neither embryonic, nor are they shrunken down from full sized animals. A long and exhaustive search through paper trails led Agent Neo to a remote ranch near the African Savannah that was long since abandoned. No unusual animals were present, but the agent returned home with the casting of tiny hoof prints found in the dirt. Further investigation and a search for any surviving tiny animals is pending.