jordallenhall

Lesbian Day of Visibility

Added 2023-05-12 13:48:50 +0000 UTC

I have officially been a lesbian for more of my life than not. I first wrote, in a blank journal that I immediately shoved down the trash compacted (very wasteful), "I think I'm a lesbian" in 2009. I've been thinking a lot about my queer childhood -- from second grade, declaring to my lesbian teacher that Lydia and I were going to get married and adopt a baby like she had, playing boys sports, taking the kids scissors to Kit's scalp, and throwing a gender dysphoria fueled tantrum when my parents refused to let me cut my hair the same. I have an unending well of memories like these, parts more traumatic than others, but capped off with my high school Feminism in Literature teacher Keira going through a vocab sheet that glossaried queer and trans identities. As someone in our class read aloud "genderqueer," everything clicked into place. I put that piece of my identity in a box under the bed for 4 more years after that, but without a learning environment that welcomed discussions of queerness, that allowed me to show up as my whole self, who knows how much longer I would have gone, out of place and missing the language necessary to describe who I am. I long for a day that queer kids are not only protected, but cared for and encouraged to thrive.