Why I Deactivated Twitter

The short answer: I'm addicted to it and I need to rewire my brain. I've written about being hooked on "the Bird" before and in fact, even wrote the 12-steps of Twitterholics Anonymous. I'm using it as an escape, a distraction and a procrastination tool and at the moment, I have too much work to do; as much as I love Twitter for connecting to people and honestly, I managed to parlay my addiction into an entire writing career, at the moment I don't really see the upside.

My attention span is shot, my ADD feels out of control, my brain feels scattered and it's like I can only think in short, narrative bursts. I can't remember things and I'm not reading books. It's like I'm constantly distracted by an ever-present buzz in the background of my life. I feel over-exposed and underappreciated. 

Last night after I deactivated, I kept track of how many times I absentmindedly went to the app on my phone out of boredom or habit and within 10 minutes it was FIVE. That's bad.

The long answer: The discourse has degraded so much, it's disgusting to me and I'm a part of it. Yesterday after the YouTube shooting, my timelime erupted into people pushing their gun control narrative and comics rushing to make jokes. Then once the woman's YouTube page was found, everyone began dragging her for her shitty content. It was a disturbing to say the least. This is a mentally ill woman who just shot up a building and killed herself and we are so desensitized to gun violence and mental illness that a.) we were basically all relieved when no one other than the shooter was killed and b.) it immediately became a joke. This was after a day of dragging writer Kurt Eichenwald who seems to be having a very public breakdown online. 

People are losing their minds all around us. Two of my female comedian friends can no longer post their tour dates because of safety concerns. The homelessness in LA is out of control and not a single day goes by that I'm not exposed to someone publicly urinating and talking to themselves. I do a lot in terms of volunteering, but lately it all feels like too much.

The back end of a Republic as it starts to crumble isn't a pretty place and I'm afraid that's where we are but in order to maintain my own sanity and spiritual condition, I have to spend more time being creative, being helpful and away from toxic negativity.

I'll be back on Twitter eventually.  I know that when I have a book to promote, that platform will come in handy, but I'll never have a book to promote if I don't get off that site for a while.

Besides, I'd rather spend my free time here, writing about ashrams and waitressing and pulling together my memoirs so that in the event of my untimely death, I already wrote them. That's morbid, sure, but, we never know and I'm always one to be prepared.