Bonus | Aine: Chapter 57.5 - Flashback

Poll winner: Damien’s POV- Morning after Damien was marked by Freya

A/N: This chapter describes the rape and is pretty graphic. Read at your own risk!

Damien's POV

No noise escapes me as I stare at Alex, my eyes wandering over his unmoving body before sliding over to the healers. They move quickly as they check his vitals and search for any signs of progress, not bothering to ask me if there have been any changes since they were last here.

Their bodies are tense as they avoid eye contact and pretend I’m not even here, a kindness that I do not deserve.

I hope they cannot smell my shame as I stare at them, my Beast analyzing each and every person that enters in a desperate attempt to see if they hate me as much as I hate myself at this moment.

None of this was supposed to happen. None of this should have happened. I wouldn’t be surprised if my pack demands that I step down, probably humiliated over the thought of being led by an Alpha that cannot even keep a woman out of his bed.

It’s never been a secret that Freya wanted Alex to challenge me for the position and grew irritable when he refused, but I never thought much of it. Every woman wants to be with an Alpha, it’s biological and cannot be helped.

Glancing down at the IV that sticks in my forearm, I watch the fluids drip slowly into my body, hating that I even need this in the first place. I should have known better than to get so drunk, and I especially should have known better than to let myself get drugged.

I should have smelt the intoxicating herbs she slipped in my drink. Had I paid more attention I would have. Had I not let my guard down I would have.

The feeling of her mark on the inside of my thigh makes me want to vomit, and I shift uncomfortably in my chair at the thought of it. Alex will never forgive me for bearing her mark, for allowing her dirty teeth to sink into my skin and claim me as her own.

The she-wolf was awfully conniving about it as well, placing it inside of my thigh just below the spot where my balls rest. The location ensures that there’s no possibility of me ignoring it until it fades. It will be engaged with every time I change my clothing or shower, forcing me to feel the pleasure that is meant only for my brother.

My jaw clenches as I think about the dishonor I have unintentionally brought upon my future mate. I’ll be lucky if she still wants me after learning of my misdoings. Most Beast women would reject a man for less, and I can only hope that she will find it within herself to see past Freya’s mark.

Alex continues to lie as still as a corpse in the small hospital bed, his skin unnaturally pale and hair unkempt. The doctors say that he was lucky that I brought him in when I did, but I’d argue that nothing about last night was lucky for him.

I hardly even remember finding and carrying him to the hospital. The entire night is a blur, with only slight moments of painful clarity. If I think hard enough I can remember when Freya drugged me. I was already pretty gone at that point, and she seemed so innocent when she brought Alex and I another round.

There was no hesitation in my mind as I threw back the contents and pulled them both to the dance floor, leaning heavily onto Alex’s shoulder as I stumbled around. He indulged me through one song before telling me that I should go home, that I was too drunk and would regret this in the morning.

I argued that we were celebrating, that one of our Beasts found her mate and it was grounds to let loose a little bit. That it’s not every day that we add another to our pack. What stupid thinking on my part.

Alex was pretty drunk himself, and it was so easy to convince him to stay for a couple more songs. I don’t remember what Freya said that changed his mind, but she argued and argued until finally he left and she was taking me home. I didn’t care.

How stupid of me for not caring.

She’d taken me home before, helped me change into my pajamas and made sure I made it into my bed before returning to her mate. It felt normal, she felt normal. It’s not as if I hadn’t done the same for her in the past.

She was my brother’s mate. She was my family.

I can’t even count the amount of times that Alex tuckered out early and I was the one who carried her to their house and plopped her down in their bed. So many times that I undressed her and threw her in the shower when she vomited on herself.

It was normal. She was Alex’s mate and it was my job to help care for her when she needed it. That’s all I ever thought that it was. That’s all it ever was for me.

My eyes slam closed and I throw my head back against the wall as I think about her taking off my clothing last night. I thought she was just helping me so I’d be comfortable in my sleep. She’s helped me change thousands of times. That’s all it’s ever been before.

When she took off her own clothing I didn’t think anything about it either. I assumed she was just going to throw on something of mine before going back home, that maybe she got sick or spilled a drink on herself and I just didn’t notice.

Nudity isn’t a huge issue for the Beasts. We see one another naked all the time when we shift. I looked away politely as she stripped and moved around my room. My eyes fell shut and I relaxed into my mattress as she sorted herself out. I thought she was going to leave. She’s always left.

Why linger around when your mate is waiting for you back at home?

It wasn’t until she was climbing on top of me that I realized something was wrong. I remember trying to speak to her, to ask her what she was doing, but I couldn’t get the words to form in my mouth. She looked me in the eye as she grabbed hold of my manhood, her mouth moving to form words that I didn’t listen to and can’t remember.

I shook my head. I tried to tell her no. I tried to yell out and kick her away as she stroked me until I was hard enough to be shoved inside of her. Things go a bit hazy after that, her movements rhythmic and blurry as she sat on top of me and forced my cock into a place that I didn’t want it to be.

I don’t know how long she was on top of me for, but the next thing I remember was her climbing off and shouting at me, her face contorted into an angry scowl as my body refused to stay hard. My Beast was screaming at me to get up, to fight back against her as she crawled down my body and took me into her mouth in a desperate attempt to stiffen me once more.

My cheeks grew wet as she succeeded, her mouth causing my body to betray me for the second time tonight. I closed my eyes and willed for it to be over as she began to kiss my thighs, her teeth scraping against the skin. My Beast forced his way past my cloudy mind and lifted my knee to knock her in the head.

She fell back with a cry but was back on top of me a second later. My Beast propped me up on my elbows and pushed me to get up. Freya shoved me back down, the action disorientating me as I struggled to find the strength to move once more.

Her teeth on my skin had me fighting even harder to get away, my mind panicked and frightened. Touching them to my skin was a sin, an even worse one than had already been committed. What if she accidentally marked me? What if she stole from me the one thing I had left to give my mate? Robbing Alex and I of our dignity.

She began to yell at me as I tried to fight back against her, screaming that she was my mate and that the fates made a mistake pairing her with Alex. I’ve never seen her so crazed before.

Her hands were on my hips before I could register what was happening, her mouth on my thigh and her teeth in my skin. I thought I was dying as they sank inside of me. She tried to climb on top of me once more after forcing her mark, screaming that I would give her a child and that we would be mates.

My Beast screamed at me to let him take over my body, to let him move me and kill her. I tried to let him, I tried to drop down the barrier in my mind for him but I couldn’t focus enough to see it through. Freya was everywhere all at once and I couldn’t relax myself enough for even a second to let him in.

I couldn’t push her off. I cried and begged and shoved at her thighs as she forced my soft penis inside of her. She tried so desperately to make me hard, rocking on me and whispering dirty words that I refused to listen to. Before I understood what was happening my Beast managed to force his way to the front of my mind and sunk his claws into her abdomen.

He didn’t care if he killed her. The one thing on his mind was ripping out her uterus, was to destroy the only thing that she had not already taken from me. I would die before I allowed her to carry my child.

She froze as my fist closed around whatever part of her innards I could grab onto and ripped them out of her body. It wasn’t enough to kill her, but served to be enough for her to stumble off my bed. My Beast forced me to my feet and down the stairs.

I should have killed her. I wish I would have killed her.

Instead I ran out of my house in search of Alex. Beasts have died from the infidelity of their mate and the only thing on my mind was finding him. My body slammed into every tree and I stumbled over every rock as I ran in the direction of his house, my feet clomping loudly into the ground as I hurried to him.

He was laying face down on the ground between our two houses, his clothing haphazardly thrown on as he felt the pain through the mate bond and hurried out to find Freya. How I found the strength within me to throw him over my shoulder and run him to the hospital I’ll never understand, but somehow I managed to get us both there.

The doctors didn’t ask any questions as they took him from my arms and rushed him into a room. Their hands were all over my body as they led me into another area, forcing an IV in my arm and dressing me. I think they were asking me questions as they did this but I don’t quite remember.

I didn’t answer if they did. What answer do I even have to give? My brother is currently fighting for his life because I just fucked and was marked by his mate.

They would kill me. They would kill me and I would let them.

At some point they realized that I wasn’t giving them any answers right now and left me alone. I didn’t remain put for very long before seeking out Alex. He looks no better than he did when I first found him, making me weary that my pack members haven’t done anything actually helpful for him.

My head snaps to the side as somebody walks into the room, my heart falling as I note that it’s just Avia. When is Freya going to come? Alex needs her here if he’s ever going to survive. I don’t understand what’s taking her so long.

It would take her a while to heal after I tore out her insides, but it’s been long enough now that she should have been able to make her way over. My heart plummets as I begin to worry that she’s not going to come at all, that she’s going to leave Alex here to die by himself.

She’s his mate. She needs to be here for him.

Shutting my eyes again, I slam my head back against the wall and begin to run through the events of the night once more, searching for and hoping to discover answers to the millions of questions that run through my head.