Most (Un)Manly - Chapter 2 - Boys and Girls

I can repeat myself if needed, said the nice voice in my head, but you do seem to be in quite a bit of pain. While the wounds are largely superficial, they might still prove disadvantageous in further combat. Especially combat of the close kind, as you seem to prefer. Might I recommend a few purchases? 

“...Purchases?” I whispered, trying to keep my voice down so that I wouldn’t appear too crazy in front of the already freaked out mom and her crying baby.

Purchases! The Class I Medical Utilities Catalog and Class I Regenerative Nano-Suite would cost you a total of 70 points. You currently have 130, thanks in part to the unwilling donation of three Model Threes, alongside the hundred points given to all Vanguards upon initialization. Normally, this is where I would further recommend the purchase of a weapon, but you seem to already have that under control!

“Vanguards? I’m… a Samurai?”

Correct!

“And your name is… Aphrodite?”

With a Y!

“Y?” 

Why not?

I couldn’t help it. I laughed. It hurt.

More seriously, the Y is where one would normally expect to find an I! Also, I would sincerely recommend you purchase things. There are many more aliens to kill, and points to earn, before this incursion ends! 

“Right… because I’m a samurai… do I really need to spend over half my points on medical shit, though? It’s just a flesh wound.”

Do you intend to continue fighting Antithesis at less than an arm’s length?

“I was actually thinking of buying a gun. Unless you’ve got something that would make it easier to brain the things?”

I have many things! Some of which are even within your price range! If you’re interested in long ranged arms, however, a kinetic handgun catalog and a hummingbird would cost you a total of sixty points. It would also keep you at a slightly greater distance from your enemies, which most early Vanguards seem to prefer. 

“What about later Vanguards?” It probably wasn’t the time to be indulging my curiosity. I had an alien dog corpse on top of me, and the woman I’d saved was looking pretty tense. Probably trying to figure out if I was her hero or just a madman with a bloody weight. 

I wasn’t dumb. I knew the smart thing to do was to just take my new AI friend’s suggestions - heal myself up, and prove I’m a Samurai all in one go. But there was a reason Charlotte considered me the ‘smartest idiot’ she’d ever met - my int score might have been decent, but my wisdom was crap. 

High class Vanguards have various methods of mitigating the dangers presented by up close combat! Though I’ve found that a surprisingly small number of them actually wish to engage in it, regardless. That is not to say that it’s an inherently bad idea, however! In fact, I have a myriad of ideas on how to enable you to fight at both close and mid quarters… All of which would require substantially more points than you currently have available!

“Right… Uh. Guess I’ll take the gun for now. The medical kit… ” I wanted to say that it was fine to ignore it. I mean it didn’t even hurt that much! It was nothing I couldn’t push through. But if it distracted me at the wrong moment? Kept me from noticing something, got me injured further, or even killed? Charlotte would never let me hear the end of it… “Yeah, alright, get me that too.”

Class I Kinetic Handguns unlocked!

New Purchase: Hummingbird Mark I-D

Class I Medical Utilities unlocked!

New Purchase: Nano-Regenerative Suite

Points reduced to: 0

Two, cheap looking plastic boxes appeared on the floor besides me, paired with a gasp from the woman I’d saved - who somehow managed to sound more relieved, than surprised.

“We should get moving towards the shelter,” I said, addressing her for the first time. I made sure to make eye contact, too, so that she’d know who I was talking to! Which… maybe might have been related to the slight blush that appeared on her cheeks.

Or it could have just been embarrassment about doubting me. One of the two.

“Right,” the as-of-yet-unnamed woman said, giving me a shallow nod. “Do you… need help with any of that?” 

I glanced at the boxes, then at the still crying baby in her arms, before shaking my head. She was better off focusing on the kid. As for me, I put my dumbbell down and flipped the first box open, finding what looked like a toy gun inside. And not, like, a semi-realistic toy gun. More like a boxy sci-fi gun someone might think up if they were going for a look. The back didn’t curve like I was used to, and the trigger was more of a square button. The front had a dozen little needles sticking out of it, though, and while they didn’t look like much to me at the moment I was sure I’d change my mind once they were sticking out of an alien.

The other box contained an inhaler, which I quickly pulled out.

The gun should link with your augs momentarily! As for the inhaler, simply breathe in and press.

I followed instructions, getting rewarded with a weird tingling in my lungs that I could only describe as ‘blech.’ Then my skin started knitting itself together right in front of me, which was… kinda cool? But in a gross way, if that makes any sense? Soon enough, the only sign of the wound was a big hole in my shirt and a whooooole lot of blood. Which… Yeah, Charlotte was totally going to go off on me for being reckless, wasn’t she? 

Well, I’d deal with that when it came! For now, it was time to get this lady to the shelter. And then duck out before my friend could yell at me too much!

“Come on,” I said, getting to my feet and gesturing for the woman to follow me.

We walked down the hall at a pretty quick pace, the woman-who’s-name-I-really-needed-to-get shushing her baby all the way. Which didn’t really keep the poor thing from crying, but it did give her something to focus on!

I don’t know if luck was on our side or if the invasion was just on the small side, but we thankfully didn’t come across any more Antithesis on our route to the shelter. Which was maybe a bit of a mixed blessing, considering the whole ‘I had no points’ thing, but, y’know, I was pretty okay with waiting until the mother and child were taken care of to worry about that.

“Shelter’s right ahead,” I said, turning a corner and gesturing towards the steel door. The still open steel door. Which was weird. You’d think they’d want to close that shit as soon as possible - I mean, even if it was broken or something, you’d think all the gym-bros would have been able to force the thing shut. Charlotte alone probably could have… at least from the outside.

Maybe that was the problem? Nobody wanted to be on the other side of it when it finally closed shut?

“I’m telling you, we need to close the damn thing!”

“And I’m telling you that Adonis is still out there! Alongside who knows how many other people? Leaving it open a crack could be the difference between life and death for any survivors who come this way!”

…Or maybe Charlotte was just being stubborn?

“It could also be a matter of life or death for us, if Antithesis come this way!”

“It’s a lot easier to close the thing in a hurry than open it,” Charlotte countered.

“Uh… Can I butt in?” I asked, rubbing the back of my neck. “Because it sure sounds like this is at least a little about me.”

“Adonis!?” Charlotte cried out, immediately shoving the door out and open, despite the outraged protest of the man she’d been talking  to. Dave, I think? He was a bit of a jerk, but could pump weight like nobody’s business. Made it kind of a shame that he was choosing the ‘cowering’ option, but I guess not everybody could face danger like me. “What happened to you!? You’re covered in blood - and your shirt - and-”

“I’m fine,” I said. “The blood’s… mostly mine, I guess, but the wounds gone! Got it healed by my new friend.”

“Your new friend?” Charlotte asked, eyeing the woman whose name I still didn’t know. “No offense, but that’s a lot of blood, and she doesn’t look like a miracle healer.”

“It’s not that much,” I protested, looking down at my shirt. Sure, the thing was absolutely ruined, and yeah there was red smeared all over my flesh, but like… it wasn’t that bad, was it? “And I didn’t mean her. I meant Aphrodyte.”

“Aphro… Like the Goddess?” Charlotte frowned. “Please tell me you didn’t rattle your own brain with that weight you’re carrying?”

“No - I mean, yes, technically like the god, but with a y? And not actually the god. She’s-”

“An AI?” Charlotte asked. “You’re a samurai?”

“...How’d you…?”

“Guess? It wasn’t exactly hard to put two and two together - maybe you haven’t noticed it, but a lot of those AIs tend to have Ys in their name.”

“Right…” That was Charlotte for you. Sharp as a tack! Though it would have been nice if she could have allowed me to announce it, all cool like.

“A samurai?” Dave asked, from the back. “You?”

“Yeah, him. You got a problem with that?” Charlotte demanded, spinning around and glaring daggers at the man.

“Uh - no, I just - I mean, I can bench more than him, so-”

“So what? You’re not the one who went out there fighting!”

“Well… neither are you,” he replied, lamely.

“Yeah, well, I’m also not complaining about not getting chosen.”

“Um… as the one who did get chosen, and all, don’t you think I should maybe be picking my own battles?” I asked. Or at least that’s what I wanted to ask, but everything after ‘um’ kinda died on my lips as Charlotte turned her glare on me. 

“And you! What the hell sort of hair-brained self-sacrificial move did you make to get selected as a samurai?”

“That’s… I mean, it wasn’t anything that self-sacrificing…” Not that I wouldn’t have been willing to sacrifice myself for a mother and child, but all I’d really done was bash in the head of a model three or… well, three.

“Uh-huh…” She glared at me for a long moment, then let out a sigh. “Well, at least you got here alive…”

“I’m uh… planning to go back out, though?” I pointed out, a little worried she’d explode on me.

To my surprise, however, all she did was let out a snort. “Of course you are. You’re a samurai. And, y’know, you. You’d probably insist on looking for survivors even if you were powerless.”

“So… you’re not going to argue with me?” I asked.

“Nope! Just so long as you don’t argue about me going with you.”

“That’s… but… you’re not a samurai,” I pointed out.

“Neither were you a few minutes ago, and that didn’t stop you.”

“You don’t have a weapon?” I tried, next.

“You could give me one.”

“I’m out of points!”

“Then give me the gun, and go back to using the weight,” she suggested. “At least until you make enough points to arm both of us.”

“That’s… Can’t you just stay here where it’s safe?” I asked, a little exasperated.

“I mean, somebody’s gotta watch out for you,” she replied, frowning. “So until I find a samurai I’m content with leaving the job to, that’s going to have to be me.”

“But… But…” I tried to come up with a protest. A reason why she shouldn’t do something so dumb and self-sacrificing. “But you’re a girl?”

Needless to say, I failed. Big time.

~~~

Author's Notes

Chapter 2... I finally did it. And it only took a year and a half! ...The same length of time that passed between chapter 13.5 and 14 of Demon Queened. Coincidence? Probably!

More seriously, I guess putting it up on Patreon was the kick I needed? Though, that said - considering how long it's been since I updated this - I think I'm going to post this one to the public a bit early (by which I mean pretty much now.) Further chapters will remain as Patreon exclusives for at least a little, though - in fact, I plan to keep Patreon two chapters ahead, if I can help it. (Which means I guess I better get to writing more chapters...)

PS: Haven't forgotten my promise to write some NM, or the Ranma fanfic... Kinda going where creativity leads me, right now, but I'll try to get the next NM chapter out by Sunday and the Ranma 1/2 chapter soon after that. Friday is my "editing" day for DQ, though, and Saturday.... Well, it's usually a day off, but since I took a day or two off in the middle of the week I might write anyway... We'll see.