PATREON EXCLUSIVE (Full Video): Women who want a husband vs women who want to be a wife
Added 2024-05-26 05:17:50 +0000 UTC
Comments
@Mark Definitely women should chase!
RhodiumMaiden
2024-07-19 22:44:52 +0000 UTC@Peter Ending up alone & childless is the worst fate for most women.
RhodiumMaiden
2024-06-02 16:53:10 +0000 UTCbecause they're short sighted and lazy
Anthony White
2024-05-31 11:08:19 +0000 UTC@RhodiumMaiden - Alas, "accepting their nature" appears unusually difficult for modern day Feminists who only seem to recognize the existence of a "Patriachal privilege", never their own.
Joseph Omega
2024-05-30 21:11:34 +0000 UTCNarcissism doesn't care about equality. They want to be worshipped and treated like a Queen
Alexander Knight
2024-05-30 11:43:43 +0000 UTCCezary. Here’s one more: https://youtu.be/sMjHydfGTQA?si=61KHySUX6yOSJ6-n
Eric Linden
2024-05-30 05:44:05 +0000 UTCLOL No, that spelling mistake was done unwittingly. Just lucky enough for it to appear as wit 😏 Good eye Joseph.
Mark Bryski
2024-05-30 00:57:58 +0000 UTC@Mark Bryski - I've made that Freudian Slip many times myself too: It's "berthing", not "birthing"! 😁 Or maybe you DO mean the latter ... 😉
Joseph Omega
2024-05-30 00:04:53 +0000 UTCJoseph, well put. Haven't thought of it in those words. Some of them get mad when they lose birthing privileges. It hurts their social capital.
Mark Bryski
2024-05-29 23:19:42 +0000 UTC@Mark Bryski - In other words you deny her "berthing privileges". Yes, this is consistent with an enhanced metaphor of "boats and islands".
Joseph Omega
2024-05-29 22:34:32 +0000 UTC@Mark Bryski - Thanks for the links. I don't really see these two videos as contradictory (don't know if that is what you meant to convey), but complementary, and explain a nuanced description of Alexander's approach: If you are a member of a "friend group", then being friends with a woman is natural, and does not preclude subsequent romantic interest on her part. But if you START with the (written or unwritten) expectation of something more and THEN she insists that you "just be friends", this is the red flag he advises against. I presume yours is in keeping with the former scenario?
Joseph Omega
2024-05-29 22:28:50 +0000 UTCSure Joseph and I let them be held accountable through life's terms when they become a victim of their own denial. When I come across a low-quality woman, I ruthlessly cut the chord to keep peace in my life.
Mark Bryski
2024-05-29 18:47:53 +0000 UTCThe society STILL misguides, perhaps even MORE so. It is just that such voices as Alexander were not considered as desperately critical as they are today.
Joseph Omega
2024-05-29 18:27:10 +0000 UTC@Mark Bryski - You are likely correct, which makes the tweaking more imperative and effective, as it would call the "low quality" women to account at the levels of behavior naturally accorded and normally afforded to "high quality" women.
Joseph Omega
2024-05-29 18:18:42 +0000 UTCWell done. Yes, we are very lucky to not need to work to be feminine. We only need accept our nature, which we are born with. It’s a huge privilege.
RhodiumMaiden
2024-05-29 17:52:34 +0000 UTCThere is no mother involved in raising my daughters. What blows me away is how they love to be feminine when they feel safe and secure. In the beginning, I was worried about how I could "teach" them to be feminine. It just happens.
Mark Bryski
2024-05-29 17:36:48 +0000 UTCInteresting experience RM. Thank you for sharing. This reminds me of a study I heard about staying how happy couples usually only need two "dates" to know they are right for each other. My impression is it doesn't take long to know if there is any "there" there in a relationship. In addition when there is chemistry, a man does not have to chase it which I interpret it as I should not have to chase it.
Mark Bryski
2024-05-29 17:32:51 +0000 UTCThat’s great to hear! Lovely to hear of younger gen girls leaning into their nurturing side.
RhodiumMaiden
2024-05-29 17:24:50 +0000 UTCI believe that metaphor is unsuccessful with low quality women. The reason for this is low quality women struggle with being satiated. A high quality woman can be satiated.
Mark Bryski
2024-05-29 17:22:23 +0000 UTC@Mark Yes, definitely high libido but I don’t do casual sex. That means I’m not keen on beating around the bush when I find a man I’m really into. It’s a waste of time & feels dishonest to pursue friendship when I want more. A man is either right for me or he is not, & usually I can determine that very early on. I have a dated (without sex) several men for up to 3mo because one or both us (though usually it was me) was unsure about pursuing a serious, sexual relationship. But that mostly only happened in my 20s, & I’ve since realised that I knew on some level those men weren’t right, but I hoped with time the man or myself would be convince me otherwise. But that NEVER ends up happening. Hesitation is always a bad sign. My late husband was so autistic, introverted & sexually submissive that he was incapable of initiating intimacy, so you could say he kinda friend zoned me. He was very much into me but I was the one trying to initiate intimacy & he didn’t get any of my overt hints (I am not a subtle person) or respond to them. We saw each other for several hours every other day for 2 weeks and then I just had to straight up proposition him, & then we became a couple.
RhodiumMaiden
2024-05-29 17:22:02 +0000 UTCHere is some videos on the topic. I believe there is another video where he presents an issue and at the end, he identifies starting out in the friend zone as the solution. https://youtu.be/B0Gf5PCjcLw?si=6L1MuiUfUaIWuI5s In this video, he presents it as placing the woman into the friend zone. https://youtu.be/aCImSbhKr8k?si=3-W0MDxxHiyb_Hu7
Mark Bryski
2024-05-29 17:20:12 +0000 UTC@Mark Bryski - Can you supply the name of/link to Alexander's video on this approach? It sounds so atypical of him.
Joseph Omega
2024-05-29 15:28:28 +0000 UTCYeah, I remember you wanted to talk about it. But from what I recall you wanted to write your experiences first. For me, I wasn't actually ever in the friend zone. Yet I had good attractive female friends when I was single. It doesn't need to be "complicated". For me, friendzone is when she is leading you on and you harbor romantic feelings for her. And friendship is when the relation is reciprocal. I couldn't stand the former treatment so I never engaged.
Cezary Skoczek
2024-05-29 13:24:57 +0000 UTCCezary, we are discussing placing oneself into the friend zone as a strategy. It sounds like you have done this in the past. You should share your experiences and thoughts in our discussion thread.
Mark Bryski
2024-05-29 13:05:11 +0000 UTCJoseph, in my opinion, when a woman is attracted to a man, she is capable of putting him into the friend zone while having some romantic interest in him. When she friend zones him, she has not lost attraction. She is doing it because she has numerous options where she considers some of them better. She basically puts a viable option or an option with potential "on the shelf" for future use. The orbiter can either become a backup boyfriend or a side boyfriend for her. Also, for some women, the orbiter can become "the guy who does x for me". So, in my opinion, when a woman friend zones a man, it doesn’t necessarily mean she has no romantic interest. Just limited romantic interest. I have seen a situation where a woman had zero romantic interest in the man and just used him financially. In my opinion, this situation would have fit into your definition of friend zone.
Mark Bryski
2024-05-29 10:29:42 +0000 UTCRM, from what I can tell, you have a high libido. Maybe, you can share your thoughts on a romantic interest choosing to go into the "friend zone" with you. I have shared my thoughts from my perspective. I am interested in your view as the woman.
Mark Bryski
2024-05-29 10:01:49 +0000 UTCJoseph, I believe Cezary Skoczek has been doing something similar. I am interested to know his thoughts on going into the friend zone.
Mark Bryski
2024-05-29 09:59:20 +0000 UTCJoseph, interesting reply. You make a few points worthy of response/exploration. But, I will narrow it upon my current focus. In the past year, I have adopted the approach of deliberately entering the friend zone for any romantic interest who shows me choosing signals in place of escalating. Specifically, top tier choosing signals. The most I will do to escalate when I notice top tier choosing signals from a woman is hand her my phone with the add contact screen open for her to fill out. Alexander has a video on this approach. What I am finding with this approach is: - it is easier to get to know each other with less pressure. I get to observe her values in actions in place of learning about them through her words. - personal (not sexual) intimacy develops - I get to gauge the quality of the woman such as how well does she take care of herself. - it gives an opportunity for preselection to work in my favour. On top that, it also gives me a chance to be seen by her through her ovulation goggles. - from my past experience, when a woman doesn’t want me in the friend zone, she will pull me out of it. When this happens, the sex is the best.
Mark Bryski
2024-05-29 09:10:21 +0000 UTCRM I get it on how you want to take care of men. There are times where I will see the same thing from my two young daughters wanting to do this for me. Two years ago, when I caught COVID, they were soooo cute about it.
Mark Bryski
2024-05-29 06:13:07 +0000 UTCI agree that Alexander’s views are either contradictory or evolving. I also just watched a video of his from 2021 about fatherhood that is contradicted somewhat in the last half of this video. I agree with this new video, and disagree with some of the old one.
Eric Linden
2024-05-29 05:12:27 +0000 UTC@Peter - I'm not sure the extent to which a man "bringing home the bacon" for his wife to budget the household, automatically translates into her "wearing the pants". In fact, it was my impression that arrangements very similar to this has been the RULE rather than the exception for MOST of human history, and across all human cultures, and so quintessentially "traditional", with the man making the BIG INFRASTRUCTURE decisions (like where to live and/or BUILDING THE HOUSE) and the woman making the FINE TUNING decisions (like how and what to eat or MAKING THE HOME). Keep in mind: "Grandeur may lie in the big picture, but the devil is in the details."
Joseph Omega
2024-05-29 04:49:00 +0000 UTC@Mark Bryski - I wonder how widespread is your defintion of the "friend zone"? The following description is in keeping with my understanding: "The 'friend zone' is a term used in modern relationships to describe a situation where one person in a friendship has unreciprocated romantic or sexual feelings for the other person. The person with romantic feelings is said to be 'friend-zoned' when the other person sees and treats them solely as a friend, without any romantic or sexual interest." STARTING in such a situation appears somewhat unhealthy. Or are you saying that YOU "friend-zone" a romantic interest (which appears contradictory)?
Joseph Omega
2024-05-29 04:34:53 +0000 UTCAs usual, I pretty much agree with EVERYTHING Alex describes here, but I have to suggest that it again seems to break his previously expressed metaphor of "women as boats and men as islands," where women are envisioned as perpetual nomads free to roam the seas occasionally birthing at one island then a next in their hypergamous search for an island that meets their fancy. Nothing illustrates the antithesis of this more acutely than the couple in the car, where the woman chooses a single island to commit to and help develop, regardless of the state it is in currently, come rain or shine (or "for better or worse, in sickness and in health", as the wedding vows extols). I've thought (and suggested) for a long time that Alexander's model is in dire need of a tweak or two to eliminate the blatant lack of accountability implied by so casually excusing these "boats" the commitments and responsibilities so heavily and one-sidedly entrusted to the "islands" in nurturing the development of a firm, enduring and mutually beneficial relationship. His unmodified model as usually presented just seems to me to too easily "simp" out to female idiosyncracies and to blindly accept their "prerogative to change their mind."
Joseph Omega
2024-05-29 00:59:59 +0000 UTCYep, I have seen this a lot as well. It’s awful Mark.
RhodiumMaiden
2024-05-28 18:04:26 +0000 UTCIt’s surprising how some women really do wear the pants. The man goes working. He brings home the bacon and he handed off to his wife who has to budget and run the household with it. I’ve also heard this results in decision fatigue that sometimes out of that reason a woman just wants the man to decide she’s been deciding everything all day long
Peter
2024-05-28 04:02:42 +0000 UTCI have seen firsthand how much not finding that can pay someone I used to know this girl that really wanted Family and towards the end of 30s she hadn’t found it yet and her sister was never really down that and the disappointment was written in her face
Peter
2024-05-28 03:58:54 +0000 UTCYeah the social approval is pretty toxic My mum has that sort of attitude and it is not only the house but the children that are part of that flaunting look at my life. I’m so much better than you jealousy gossip type situation. Look at my kid he’s a doctor. Look at my kid. He’s a lawyer. Look at my kid. He didn’t complete his studies.
Peter
2024-05-28 03:55:15 +0000 UTCI see many women maintaining their home to gain approval from their social circle. They seem to be more interested in gaining social capital within their social circles over their family's comfort. The husband and children seem to be an extension of the phenomena. As a result, their family is walking around on egg shells. I saw it in the playgroups. In the dad’s only playgroup, the men were scared of doing the wrong thing. They were very apprehensive and uptight. In the regular playgroups where the mother’s attended, everyone was relaxed.
Mark Bryski
2024-05-27 21:56:47 +0000 UTCI agree. 25 years ago, we were being misguided.
Mark Bryski
2024-05-27 21:49:41 +0000 UTCI don’t start anyone in the friend zone. Invitations to simp I ignore; I just pretend not to hear and move on. Often that is all it takes to get that person to find a true interest in you. When I was younger I didn’t notice that I was accepting that invitation. I learned though way before I knew what simping was. Having kids helped me figure out a lot of things about adults.
Eric Linden
2024-05-27 21:18:12 +0000 UTCSIMPing in the friend zone is death. So, the only invitations I will accept is if a romantic interest friend invites herself over to my place or invites me to have my kids play with her kids. I ignore other types of invitations because they are just invitations to SIMP. Conversely, the only invitations I make are “we are going to the beach (or park), you should join us”. The beach and park are the best places for preselection to work for me. Wheat Waffles has an excellent video on Choosing Signals. I don’t send invites to anyone who doesn’t give me at least one top tier (s tier) choosing signal. My experience shows sex will happen for me if I pursue it when there are four top tier choosing signals from the woman and the woman will pull me out of the friend zone when there are five top tier choosing signals. Now, when I believe I have received a top tier choosing signal from a woman who interests me, without saying a word, I hand her my phone for her to fill out the add contact information.
Mark Bryski
2024-05-27 20:51:21 +0000 UTCI’ve always most wanted to care for men, to have a comfortable family & home I can nurture. This selfish perspective is alien to me - though I do greatly appreciate handy men. I had 2 good dads & a mixed bag mom, FWIW.
RhodiumMaiden
2024-05-27 18:02:42 +0000 UTC💯
RhodiumMaiden
2024-05-27 17:58:18 +0000 UTCAgree with everything but starting in the friend zone.
RhodiumMaiden
2024-05-27 17:57:45 +0000 UTCI’m so sorry about your negative experiences, but I agree with Eric - don’t resign yourself to being single. You sound like a good man & good women do exist.
RhodiumMaiden
2024-05-27 17:54:03 +0000 UTCYou are very bitter now. Don’t totally give up. You can give up for a year or two or ten; that is fine. You only just lost her six years ago. That is actually a very short time. I am on my third marriage, but have finally found someone who wants to be my wife, who wasn’t just looking for a husband. Stick to your principles, but have some flexibility. Take all the lessons from your marriage and the 30 women since. Be up front with everything, including where you draw the line. Don’t open the door all the way; just a crack or halfway. If you close it all the way and keep it closed, you are totally giving up. You aren’t a quitter are you? Don’t aim for happiness. Aim for fulfillment, whether that is with a woman or your dog. You may find what you are looking for when you aren’t even looking.
Eric Linden
2024-05-27 15:25:37 +0000 UTCSo many of your videos bring back memories of my first marriage, my divorce, and the struggles raising my two oldest daughters as a 50% custody father. The second half of this video really got into instilling the right values in your daughters. It is especially hard to do that when you are a single parent whose kids aren’t with him half the time. It was a struggle and I made plenty of mistakes along the way, but overall I did a pretty good job. If I had an Alexander Grace to listen to 25 years ago, I definitely would have made less mistakes. If I had only had my daughters on weekends like so many fathers, I don’t know how I could have done it. Guys, if you split with the mother of your children, fight like hell from the beginning to get your kids a minimum of 50% of the time. As Alexander describes at the end of this video, your children need boundaries and consequences, and need to learn to take accountability and responsibility. The mother and the culture are not your or your children’s friend.
Eric Linden
2024-05-27 14:37:27 +0000 UTCThanks for the link :) As for the content. I'm on the opposite side of the spectrum. I personally find this year's videos very repetitive. And interviews and discussion videos may have been chaotic at times, but were more interesting, authentic, and insightful. But I still support Alex's mission. I think his content is needed.
Cezary Skoczek
2024-05-27 13:35:55 +0000 UTC@Cezary There are a few in the back catalogue he has done with female collaborators, but I wish he would do more. Here’s one: https://youtu.be/jAMgdV8yaHU?si=Hxc_LEhZfd6LxZGk I like the solo videos best. I think he did too many with Matt. I often thought how a particular one would be better if he had done that subject solo. It would be nice to get Matt back once every month or two, Wheat a couple times a year, something with Orion again, an interview with Dadvocate, and maybe a female guest every couple months.
Eric Linden
2024-05-27 13:20:23 +0000 UTCMost modern women want a husband and a glorious wedding for show. Few really wanted to be a wife, much less to build a family. It's a sad state of affairs for the nuclear family and society in general.
Hyperion
2024-05-26 11:23:37 +0000 UTCI don't think modern women realize the status and power that a conventionally feminine woman has in the traditional nuclear family. My mother is a traditional woman with conservative values. She took great care of my father, as well as my brother and I; she gave, contributed, and sacrificed for the betterment of the family. In terms of family dynamics, like an Oreo cookie, she is that soft sugary cream filling between tough cookies, i.e. the men in the family; she holds the family together. Should there ever be a threat or danger to our family, she will have three man-shields -- my father, my brother, and I -- jumping in front of her without the slightest hesitation. This is the true power of femininity. Now let me ask, for those indoctrinated self-proclaimed feminists, will your man or family ever do the same for you?
Hyperion
2024-05-26 11:20:02 +0000 UTCThe moment a lion is tamed, it ceases to be a lion. A woman may get a temporary satisfaction to have tamed a man, but she will also grow to resent him as a man that is house broken by a woman loses his masculine frame and purpose; he is then relegated to the status of a pet at best. A woman's control on a man is one of their ultimate shit tests.
Hyperion
2024-05-26 11:05:01 +0000 UTCI believe the challenge is recognizing someone acting in bad faith versus a partner who needs support through something difficult. For the bad faith actors, there is good content to help us recognize them. Alexander has great videos in this department and I have drawn upon some concise “patterns of addiction” from Co-dependent Anonymous. For the partner who needs support, I have found the knowledge I have gained to be a parent can be applied to adult relationships: - Collaborative Problem Solving - Circle of Security These programmes push aside notions of children doing things to gain attention or manipulate parents and embraces the notion a child needs help when a child is struggling. Help is needed in two ways: - the child’s cup is empty and does not feel safe and secure - the child has a concern and does not know how to communicate/present the concern These two programmes help me as a parent address my children’s behaviour by filling up their cup and creating a safe space for them to present their concerns. I believe this can applied to adult relationships when the partner is sincere about the relationship. When someone’s cup is empty and they are acting in good faith, that person will appreciate the person helping them refill their cup. It is not a matter of being mean versus weak when someone is struggling. It is a matter of using wisdom to be wise, big, and strong to keep boundaries in place plus wisdom to be wise and kind to help someone with their struggle. When someone is struggling with presenting a concern and is acting in good faith, that person will appreciate the person who takes the time to understand that concern. In my opinion, a healthy relationship has this dynamic work both ways. I have really embraced the notion of starting out in the friend zone. One of the benefits is being able to see if this dynamic is in place without putting in a lot of investment into the relationship.
Mark Bryski
2024-05-26 10:45:22 +0000 UTCOh, that's right. It does feel interesting when you put it like that. But to push a little I didn't get that perspective from the video. It often feels to me like you take those TikTok clips too seriously. On camera that is. Now that I think about it I would love to hear you conduct interviews with female content creators, like streamers. It would be more authentic and I believe more interesting as well. I miss your discussions with Mat and the other guests. Anyway, thanks for the reply :)
Cezary Skoczek
2024-05-26 10:28:19 +0000 UTCSure, what I mean is that a lot of content is faked but to me instill find it interesting from the perspective of why that content would be so popular that someone would want to fake it, what part of the human psyche does it appeal to
Alexander Grace
2024-05-26 10:12:05 +0000 UTCMore than 80 percent of men in the US do not earn enough to support a wife, according to US Labor Department stats. Expect to see a lot of angry, fat, aging women in the coming years.
Roger Hayden
2024-05-26 10:01:03 +0000 UTCcouldn't agree more. I quit dating 10 years ago, because every woman I dated actually wanted me to support them. I was a middle class professional, and so were the women I dated. Yet they wanted it to be 1950 and use me for more money than I had. They took all the benefits feminism provided them, but rejected equality with the costs and responsibilities of a partnership. No woman is worth that, so I gave up. I'm glad I did.
Roger Hayden
2024-05-26 09:52:27 +0000 UTCCan you expand on your thought? I do not grasp what you mean or imply.
Cezary Skoczek
2024-05-26 08:29:19 +0000 UTCThe intention of a creator isn't always as interesting or revealing as the reaction of the audience
Alexander Grace
2024-05-26 08:25:51 +0000 UTCI like the emphasis that relationship's meaning and purpose is about relating one's true self and bringing one's true being into existence by doing that. Not by instrumentualizing someone else for personal gain. The reward for me is automically given by the other person in return for me showing up authentically and bringing in my unique contribution.
Thomas Ochsenfarth
2024-05-26 07:44:00 +0000 UTCI agree with the message of this video, but unfortunately, you cannot help someone who doesn't want to be helped. You can set as many boundaries and act like like a professional psychotherapist. And yet. If she doesn't want to change, it is all for naught. Wish all of you a lot of luck.
Cezary Skoczek
2024-05-26 07:29:43 +0000 UTCFirst TikTok was recorded in Warsaw. With English signs. By two young, fairly attractive, and skimpy-clad gals. Yes it was for any other purpose than views xD Honestly. What's the point in dissecting baits?
Cezary Skoczek
2024-05-26 07:08:31 +0000 UTCThese entitled, ungrateful, narcisstic, hypocritical, manipulative and abusive women are damaged beyond repair... and any man who invites them into his life is destined for ruin. I was married 16 years and my X grew to become all of these things, while I worked my nuts off to provide and protect her and our family (including me building a home for her parents). I was loving, caring, loyal, trustworthy... and trusting. I had high social status and I was able to over-achieve. But none of this was enough to stop her from choosing to betray our marriage in multiple ways due to her "boredom". In the 6 years since I kicked her lying, cheating toxic arse to the kerb, I've been with ~30 women, and WITHOUT EXCEPTION... every single one of them has quickly tried to own me. Most women see men as beasts of burden... to be under their yoke of control... to serve them, usually with very little offered in return (even the box gets weaponised). Choose wisely, gentlemen... noting also that choosing to be alone is a highly attractive option. I live an excellent life with the fine company of my dog. Women come into my life and want to become a part of it, but as soon as a woman decides she is entitled to disturb our peace... she is shown the door. Take your broken ways back to the streets... to continue her search for a husband (sucker) to own and exploit. Will this societal phenomena correct itself? Honestly, I'm really not sure when across society so many 'anti-human' agendas are being shoved down our throats by the globalists and their defective minions, and so many weak minds succumb to the psychological onslaught. Only time will tell.
MB
2024-05-26 05:35:02 +0000 UTC
