PATREON EXCLUSIVE (Full Video): Mercy without power looks like weakness to women
Added 2024-03-23 06:00:01 +0000 UTC
Comments
Catch 22... "Don't complain, don't explain" leaves you open for unopposed lies. On the other hand explaining puts you in the position of fighting for everyone's validation is weak in a different way.
Simon
2024-03-31 19:29:47 +0000 UTCPeople say forgive and forget, but they don’t have to go together, and they don’t always in the bible either. Forgiveness is something I do in my own heart, and I rarely tell the other person. It gives me peace. Example: I forgive that other driver who cut me off, but I don’t even know him. I forgive the coworker who I heard badmouthing me around the corner, but she doesn’t even know I heard her.
Eric Linden
2024-03-26 12:53:11 +0000 UTCWhen I was a Christian, no forgiveness without repentance was my general policy. It still is.
beret-doppelganger
2024-03-25 17:29:45 +0000 UTCAlexander, your videos have been a lifesaver for me, and have completely changed how I act with women and my ex-wife. Your explanation of forgiveness is fantastic, and I think that is true forgiveness. My ex-wife is constantly asking our 17 year old son to forgive her (he hasn't seen her in 2 years, and this is honestly the saddest thing in my life, but I don't pressure him to 'move on' or anything like that). He isn't bitter, and angry -- he was at first -- he just tells me he he is too afraid that she will hurt him again, and he has told me that even if he forgives her, that he probably will still not want to see her. I have forgiven my ex for what she did to me (infidelity is crushing), but I have a hard time forgiving her for the pain she caused our sons with her actions. Thank you so much. Like I said, your understanding of psychology and these videos have been a lifesaver for me.
Jeremy Cherpeski
2024-03-25 16:56:34 +0000 UTCUgh, I’m sorry this happened but I’m glad the group is being supportive.
RhodiumMaiden
2024-03-25 15:14:15 +0000 UTCMen behave like this too.
RhodiumMaiden
2024-03-25 15:10:07 +0000 UTCWhat EC said. Been plenty exploited by both men & women due to my generosity & forgiveness.
RhodiumMaiden
2024-03-25 15:07:48 +0000 UTCMoney is the most obvious and frequently used example. You know why? Because men in general dont know how to use anything else. Psychological & verbal abuse, neglect and lying are brushed quickly under the rug because theyre made by women, therefore accepted.
Mircea N.
2024-03-25 14:23:23 +0000 UTCSomething that I learned from my former marriage. The world belongs to the one that gets the attention, not the one who is right. We live in a world where women have the attention and the natural networking capability to do that., whether internet, phone or talking. Forgive wisely and when you do, forgive but dont forget. Look for signs of remorse. If they are not there, if nothing changes, walk away.
Mircea N.
2024-03-25 12:28:52 +0000 UTCReally well put Alex. I’ve been in that situation before where the resentment at being wronged was so strong “just forgive” was simply not an option. Speaking from a Christian perspective, in the Bible we are told, commanded even, to forgive. As Alex says, forgiveness is not cheap. For Christians who are struggling with this, Joseph in Genesis forgave his brothers but only after he had dragged them through a massive sh*t test to test their loyalty. Jesus forgave Peter for denying him but questioned him rigorously 3 times “Simon son of Jonah do you love me?” while doing so. Jesus also said don’t cast your pearls before swine. He refused to answer trick questions when people were trying to trap him. We have to be smart, not naive. Also forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean we have to keep those people in our lives. It may be more loving to cut ties in some cases.
Colin Smith
2024-03-25 08:48:48 +0000 UTCNo worries brother. I will send you a message when I put my response. With my experiences and what Alexander has been saying, I firmly believe placing myself in a woman's friend zone is the way start. I definitely have some thoughts and experiences to share and it sounds like you have the same. I definitely want to hear them.
Mark Bryski
2024-03-24 22:27:55 +0000 UTCIn the US, there is a law protecting Facebook from being included in these type of defamation lawsuits. However, that is not the case in Canada. What I have learned is when people are being so ridiculous, they will be even more ridiculous when you step on their toes. Trust me. Many of the women who participate in these groups have been ridiculous. So, we will see what happens.
Mark Bryski
2024-03-24 22:03:03 +0000 UTCI just saw a report about a guy suing 50 women for defamation for writing false things about him on the same website. I think the website is owned by meta and Facebook.
Eric Linden
2024-03-24 21:35:18 +0000 UTCGlad to hear from you :) But you don't need to worry, patreon has very spotty notification system and I may have not been informed even if you did replay ;) Hope you taking care.
Cezary Skoczek
2024-03-24 18:20:40 +0000 UTCHi brother. A while back you made a point on my comment about the friend zone and expressed it is worth exploring. Agree with you 100%. Sorry for not yet responding. I have been cycling through some other things.
Mark Bryski
2024-03-24 17:48:41 +0000 UTCSo....I have recently experienced this situation. I have been participating in an online Facebook singles group since September. I made friends with a woman from that group. As the friendship evolved, we shared more about ourselves. After three and a half months, something I shared with her ended up in one of the Are We Dating The Same Guy groups where she identified me with my initials and residence along with what I shared with her in confidence. Plus, some additional information which is inaccurate. The inaccurate information paints a poor picture of me. I did not get a response from her when I texted her asking for an explanation as to how the information I shared with her in confidence ended up in this group two days later. So, after watching this video, I went onto the group page and shared my experience. I ended the share by stating that it was my opinion that what was done to me was dirty and the best way to respond to such dirty tactics is to share it with everyone. 24 hours later, the general response has been supportive.
Mark Bryski
2024-03-24 17:47:08 +0000 UTCMen are islands and women are boats had a profound impact on my lens. Now, when I am at a location or in an environment, I ask myself, is this a part of my island? When it comes church, I believe we are on the boat.
Mark Bryski
2024-03-24 17:28:08 +0000 UTCI have had similar experience with women when they perceive my mercy to be weakness.
Mark Bryski
2024-03-24 17:25:52 +0000 UTCSo true Forgiveness is not free. Alex has previously said to a woman’s transgression . Like standing you up for a date… ask her“ how are you going to make this up to me“
Peter
2024-03-23 16:53:46 +0000 UTCOof the talk about power and this is dangerous territory considering that power given to anyone often leads to the abuse of that power. And some people who control the money use it as power over the partner. I hope this important aspect is highlighted in this video Adequately But that said. Its important to standup for yourself and your rights . You should not ever let yourself be taken advantage of. You need be very clear and outspoken about what is going on. Don’t assume your own safety. Be proactive. If done well it requires no tyranny or flexing of that power. You can keep her transgression between you two and a written statement and a lawyer or something 😋 And if not. Well then you take steps to protect yourself
Peter
2024-03-23 16:46:10 +0000 UTCMercy and forgiveness are talked about in church often, but they aren’t explained in this way. They ARE explained this way in the Bible however. This is where the modern church has failed. They are too concerned with retaining membership. These issues are soft pedaled, I think, to avoid offending women, who will move the family to a different church.
Eric Linden
2024-03-23 11:56:01 +0000 UTCThe mercy thing happened to me 25 years ago in my first marriage. I moved out the house, didn’t tell anyone it was her fault, didn’t say anything negative about her to my small children for 20 years, etc. One thing you never get into is that, when a break up happens to many men, they are still in love, while the woman fell out of love 2-3 years before. It is a shock to the system. You are completely taken by surprise.
Eric Linden
2024-03-23 11:30:41 +0000 UTCAlexander you’re such an emotionally aware human being. This is why I love listening to your videos. These specific concepts that I often think about but can never hear someone thoroughly explain, I get to hear the through process from you. Thank you. The old adage “taking my kindness for weakness” really reigns true. Who knew we were so different. You really have to operate in a different manner when dealing with women. Mind blowing and somewhat sad
Jeffrey Blaise
2024-03-23 11:07:13 +0000 UTCI think it was Pete Walker's book on Complex PTSD that says pressuring people into forgiveness only causes them to think they've forgiven when they haven't and can slow or even halt healing. With respect to mercy, this is such a revelation to me as I've had relationships in the past where the woman wronged me, I said nothing to anyone then found out she'd been spreading lies about why the relationship ended. I reminds me of the Proverb in the Old Testament "The one who states his case first seems right."
David Anon
2024-03-23 08:33:23 +0000 UTCRare occasion when I do not have anything to nitpick, but I have something to add about forgiveness. It should come after penance. Why should be forgiven if you didn't repent?
Cezary Skoczek
2024-03-23 07:43:47 +0000 UTC
