Balloon of the Year

It’s the first morning of the new year. After today, it’s back to the mundane way of the salt mines. I’m already too busy cleaning my house after the New Year’s Eve party, and I knew I’d be even busier tomorrow. Sometimes I wish I could just escape reality, even if it lasts only a while. If only I could be something (anything!) else.

Currently, I’m trying to figure out what to do with all the foil balloons I had in the corners of my house. Then I notice I have one balloon that’s different from the others. I take a closer look at it. It’s round, brown, and has some white text on it. I read it aloud.

“Starting Today, You Are The Next Balloon Of The Year! Enjoy Your New Inflatable Life!”

I’m thinking this has to be a joke. There is no way I would be gifted with something as absurd as “Balloon Of The Year”. But as I wonder how I even got this message, I feel some pressure building up in my stomach. It builds up so much it starts to ache. I figure I must’ve been something I ate last night. But then the pressure climbs up my throat and is about to escape through my mouth, and while I was expecting a big belch…

*PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTT*

Instead I’m just exhaling the pressure, like when you fill up a balloon and then let it go. It even sounds that way, too. And while that happens, my body gets thinner and thinner, like I’m becoming as flat as paper. Soon I find myself on the floor, paper flat, unable to get up.

I’m a little scared. How is this happening? It couldn’t have been something I ate could it? Thoughts of how I ended up in this predicament were all over my head. But just when I’m thinking it can’t get any weirder, the balloon I read earlier floats towards me. It stuffs its nozzle in my mouth and pours its contents down my throat.

*FFFFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*

As I forcibly inhale, my body starts to rise back up from its paper flat condition. With this, I’m able to stand back up. The balloon finishes pouring its contents and I find myself not exactly back to normal. I ‘m now just a blown-up version of my normal self, like an inflatable ragdoll. I try blowing the contents out, but I somehow can’t. I still don’t know how this is even happening to me, but at the same time, it feels amazing.

*SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS*

Just then, I hear a hissing sound emitting from my belly, and I feel the vibration of the hiss stretch my body even further. My body just grows fatter and fatter, and I can hardly move my limbs anymore. I round up so much, I become a big, bouncy ball with divots. The feeling then becomes intoxicating. I’m loving this!

As I continue to blow up, my head hits the ceiling. Now I’m so big, my body is filling up my own house. The pressure builds up as my body continues to expand and press against the walls. It feels so tight, I feel like I could just pop, and yet it still feels so nice.

*BOOM!*

My body busts through the roof, leaving the rest of my house intact. Out from this house of a shell is me, a supersized balloon whose divots have completely disappeared, with head, hands, and feet sinking into my body as I grow. Now that I’m outside, I’m free to get as big as I want!

It takes me no time to outgrow the entire neighborhood. I’m so big that anyone who climbs on top of me could get a good view of the city. In a matter of minutes, I outgrow even the whole city itself. And I still find myself getting bigger. MUCH bigger. How much more am I going to blow up? Do I even have a limit? I keep these thoughts in mind as my body keeps ballooning, outgrowing everything one by one.

Moments later, the hissing noise stops, and my inflation comes to a pause. All I can make out of my surroundings is a starry night sky. Apparently, I’m all blown up to become a little more than five times the size of the Earth. Being so big and buoyant is a super rare and whole new thing, and I love it so much! But just when I’m thinking that it’s all over…

*SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS*

The hissing returns, a little louder this time, and I resume inflating. My face turns red from all this increasing pressure. Creaking and groaning sounds start emitting from all over my body. I’m now near my limits! If I explode now, it was all worth it, I think to myself as I prepare for what’ll happen in a matter of seconds.

*FFWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*

Only to find that I might just live to see another day. Air rushes out of my mouth and I begin to deflate fast. I shrink back down to the Earth and back home, with my deflation slowing down bit by bit along the way. Now here I am on the floor of my own house, back to normal like nothing happened.

A pretty rough ride, but anytime I need to escape reality, I know what I’ll be doing.