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majira
majira

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Thanksgiving

This has been such a strange year. It was so weird to go from seeing friends, patrons, viewers, cute fursuits, cool dancers, and sleeping in a hotel room at TFF, to just...nothing. I often think about how differently I would have done everything at TFF if I knew it would have been my last con for a long time. But, I still did have a good time, and I’m at least thankful for that.


I’m not gonna lie, y’all, this year has been really hard on my mental health. The longer this goes on, the more I lose hope in it ever ending. I am constantly battling two types of thoughts in my head, optimism and pessimism. The optimist in me says that when cons start again, the world will be back to normal, everyone will be vaccinated, and l’ll get to see everyone again, and that’s exciting! The pessimist in me reminds me that there’s no cons happening for a long time, we have no idea when everyone will be vaccinated, when we will see our friends again, and if the world will ever return to normal. Lately, the pessimist is winning.


I constantly am feeling hopeless. What is the point of feeling excited for something we don’t know when or if it is even coming? Why look forward to the next con when we have no idea when that will even be? What is the point of looking forward to nothing? What is the point of being happy when there’s nothing making me happy anymore? What’s the point of being hopeful in the world returning to normal when it feels like that’s impossible now?


My struggles don’t just stem from the pandemic. I think COVID just helped escalate these feelings I would inevitably have to face. I never feel like I am able to do enough. And when I try, I feel like I’m focusing my energy in the wrong place. I don’t feel like I truly know what’s right and what’s wrong all the time anymore, and I’m constantly questioning everything I do, to the point where I just don’t do anything because l’m afraid of all outcomes. I don’t even know if I’ll post this. Maybe just writing it will feel therapeutic to me. But I also feel my patron supporters are the perfect people to be open with about my mental health, because y’all are always so supportive, which I am so so grateful for.


I hope everyone has a good Thanksgiving. I know a lot of people can’t be with their family and friends this year, or are having much smaller gatherings than their used to. But, it will be ok, eventually. I know a vaccine is coming. It’s hard to believe because of politicians who have been saying that since April...but it seems more promising now than ever. Once this is over, and I can see y’all again, and I can see all my friends again, y’all getting the tightest effing hugs ever lol.


What is something you are thankful for? I’m thankful for the experiences I’ve had so far in my life. And I’m thankful for the people who support me, even when I make a mistake, but still hold me accountable for that mistake so I can learn from it and grow as a person. Let me know in the replies what you are thankful for.


I know this post is long, and redundant, but I just felt like being more open might help me improve. I’m trying to become the best version of myself possible. And that isn’t a journey I have to do alone. So, thanks for reading this.

Comments

Thanks everyone for the nice replies. Y'all are really sweet to me. <3

Werewolf

It's been frustrating watching event after event get cancelled. I find myself constantly wondering if it's worth taking the opportunity to prepare for the return of normal, or to just concentrate on enjoying what I can for now. This wasn't at all what I'd planned for this year. One thing the lack of cons has given me, though, is more personal time with the few people who matter to me rather than a few moments with thousands of others around.

We all understand how you’re feeling and we’re all here to support you 🧡🧡🧡

I honestly know how you're feeling just know that you're not alone, I've had a hard time too with just being locked in and not being able to see friends and family, I thought it'd be nice to have a break, get away from everything, only to find out that all the things I loved was just suddenly taken away from me, what I didn't realize that I loved to do was taken away. When we went out of lockdown here I also realized it made some of the best friendships I had kinda fall apart too... I also became more connected with the fandom, more than ever to be honest, many times it made me come through my day and really helped me a lot... just until someone ruined it all for me, someone who I thought was a good friend just made it all escalate, it honestly made me hate the fandom and made me leave. I stayed (active) on your discord server to be with the people I still liked, but I wasn't happy with myself being there, multiple times I was just thinking "why don't I just leave?" but I can say I'm happy I didn't do that, I've met wonderful new people (including you) and made extremely good friendship and I've slowly been getting back into the fandom cause I realized a lot of people are actually even nicer than I thought making me laugh and smile every time I talk with them... also It's honestly so hard for me to look forward to anything with all the great things I had been excited for just getting cancelled all the time, With my "Job" requiring me to travel around to places, both in and out of the country it's been so annoying looking forward to doing things and one week before they announce it's gonna be cancelled, Like you said "What is the point of feeling excited for something we don’t know when or if it is even coming?" and I can really relate to this now... why look forward for something I just know is gonna get cancelled? I've been let down so many times cause of this and it has just sucked so bad that I don't even know how to get further with what I'm doing which is really all I have that can always make me happy... But I'm really thankful for all the people that has been making my day brighter, all the great friends I've made that has made me smile and laugh through all this, and also my dad for supporting me a lot through this, helping me with everything that I had it hard with. I really hope you will feel better soon and will have a great Thanksgiving and Christmas, hopefully everything will get better soon :)

I'm sorry you aren't doing well Maj. Things really do suck and look pretty hopeless this year but it won't last forever. Life will go back to normal and we'll be able to see friends again and hang out and party just like before. Just gotta hold out until then you know? Know that tons of people care about you too and want you around. As for me, I'm thankful for my friends and family and that I discovered this fandom at the end of 2018. It was like opening a door to new possibilities in life. Anyways, know you're loved and feel better soon 💙 *hugs*

Im thankful for people like you. I'll be honest COVID didn't really change a whole lot for me socially. I've always been distant and secluded so to have that be the new normal was more like everyone else walking in my shoes for a bit. However, in the year before COVID I had just started to really explore the fandom and go to a few cons. I feel like i was just figuring myself out when it all came crashing down and I've withdrawn back into my own little private bubble. The only difference is that now I have friends to talk to. I have people to care about and who care about me. Thats something that distance doesn't change but its still been difficult not having face to face social connections that I was just starting to figure out. Content creators like yourself have helped tremendously with making things more bearable. Every laugh, every smile is precious during times like these and you have drawn out a lot of them. You make people's lives better through what you do and you should be proud of it. More than that you have acted as a nucleus for an online community to form around. A catalyst for connecting people and thats probably more important than the cute videos or pictures. Allowing a place for people to talk and be together in what passes for "together" these days. I know things are tough right now, but don't ever forget that you have a great many people pulling for you and whole cast of close friends who love you. Lean on them and they'll keep you going! Keep doing the good things you do!

Maxim

I feel your pain right now. I’ve been wanting to stream a lot, and for the past month and a half I’ve just been feeling really unmotivated and been taking a lot of naps from working so much. I’m sure things will get better and hopefully the situation with covid and everything will gradually get better in these next couple months and 2021. I promise you and the fandom have made me find more joy in life than ever these past couple years and I can never thank you guys enough for that. I am greatly thankful for my family, my close friends, the great people I work with and for, video games, music, art, and the internet/ furry fandom to introduce me to wonderful people like you, and many others. I hope you have a great thanksgiving!

Kage Wolf

There are plenty of things I'm thankful for this year. It's been hard, but it brought my entire family home for half a year. It's probably the longest time we'll be together possibly for the rest of our lives. I'm also thankful for my friends, both within the fandom and without, as we worked together to find new ways to interact over the internet, and new things to do together. Finally, I'm thankful for this fandom, as it's worked to create new spaces online for us to meet in, new ways for us to be a community. It's been a hard year, one I don't ever want to repeat, but it's brought lessons and creative solutions, and it's taught us to value the time we have together, no matter how small. Here's to hoping 2021 brings the dawn of a better year 🥂

Evelyn

sadly too relatable, it‘s hard to look forward to anything. But I‘m still super thankful for my friends, family and my partner who helped me keeping my sanity through all this. I can‘t tell how (fast) we‘re able to go back to a normal life but can feel that we‘re on a good way and at this point after all we got through, we gonna take the rest of this shit too. I for myself placed my vacation for Confuzzled, Eurofurence and Gamescom in 2021 so yea... let‘s do this :3 💜

I hope it gets better for you and happy thanksgiving


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