Adelheid 3 Chapter 15
Added 2023-08-17 13:00:05 +0000 UTCHonestly, I'm not that satisfied with this chapter. If I had more time, I would definitely think of something else, but in my rush to finish, this is the best I can think of right now.
Comments
First point: well, kinda well, you know. 2. I would, but...I'm on a really tight deadline right now 3. I don't think reader will remember who she is.
KaiserBlak
2023-08-22 04:24:46 +0000 UTCI see what you mean. After reading the following chapters, I suggest further emphasizing Sophie's irrational behavior. Its also potentially a good chapter to develop adelheid with impulses of paranoia or cruelty
James Church
2023-08-21 01:31:52 +0000 UTCI am not entirely sure what you are unhappy about the chapter. I don't know what you plan for the climax either, so it is harder to recommend things. But I see three things you could add to the chapter: (1) add interactions with Olga and Silber. They didn't get much attention in the volume. (2) In preparation for the next chapter, add some more content showcasing how eerie the mansion is. More text with Adelheid considering how overly rich it is, more subtle issues with the maids, and bit more from the Baron. It should increase tension and uneasiness in readers. (3) add some hints of Millie/Millicent haunting the mansion as banshee/ghost.
Alexey Gladkich
2023-08-18 11:38:05 +0000 UTC
