"SORRY! I'VE GOT...ISSUES, OK?! CAN'T YOU GUYS USE THE MASTER BATHROOM INSTEAD?
Oh, god...why did this have to happen now? Right in the middle of a party like this, my face starts bulging out into a big fat deer nose, big floppy growths on my crotch, fur everywhere...how am I gonna get out of this one?! They're still banging at the door...do I just fling it open, stand there in all my glory? 'Happy now? Y'all can go pee to your heart's content.' Heck, why not..."