"Thanks for picking me up on short notice...stop freaking out, bro. Yes it's me, apparently I'm a girl now. And a cow. Yeah, this is Jennifer's place, I came by to see if she was still mad at me and it turns out she is, and also she's a witch or something. Things got heated again and before I knew it, my clothes were getting all tight, pulled 'em off to find growing tits and an udder...she laughed and told me I deserved it and locked me out here. No, I don't know what to do, man. Can you take me to the hospital?"