"Oof, these trails take a lot out of you! I always end up packing more than I need, and then I'm paying for it later...why are you gawking? Don't you know it's rude to stare at a lady?
Hey listen, if you're headed the way I came from, watch out, there are some weird little guys back there who will try to mess with you. I don't know how to describe them, kind of elf-like or something? Anyway they ask you all these questions until your head starts feeling funny, and then they laugh at you and run off. No real harm done but I figured I'd warn you.
By the way, does it feel like it's getting colder out here to you? I can't believe I forgot to wear my jacket...or anything, really...oh well. Nice day for a hike anyway."